A/N: Christmas eve! Merry CHristmas!

Sorry for the spelling errors :c. I dont have time to reread this, but if I do reread it sometime today I'll make sure to make some edits!

I promise I'm sober while doing this! I promiseeeeeee

I am trust me! Sorry if this was delayed or if this chapter was kinda confussing! feel free to comment and critize, I'll put it in consideration to make my future writings better! thank you, and enjoy~

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Part 2//Can't you just be mine?

“Let’s meet at the café later?”

 

“Yea sure”

 

“See ya later then”

 

The weather, it’s colder than usual. Putting the phone in my pocket, I leaned back into the park bench as I looked up to the sky rubbing my hand together to create some form of heat. The past year has been tough with all the promotions, concerts, recordings, and whatnot; I am really glad the company is giving us a break. After our comeback earlier this year, everything went above the charts. New concept, new album, new Japan tour, new SMTown tour, and new places for World Tour. Everything is new, but not all of it is good news.

 

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“What’s up with the sudden 5 minute talk?”

 

Everyone was dead silent; they were all looking at me. Because of Jessica pulling me down to sit on the floor, I sat right in front of Tiffany. I don’t like this one bit. She was also staring at me. All I can do was avoid her eyes by looking at a random member.

 

“Well?” I asked Sooyoung. I can hear her clear

 

“I have something to tell you guys. Well specifically you Taeyeon since I’ve already told everyone earlier.” Her voice was, calm, yet it was wavering. She took a deep breath“I-I’m getting engaged.”

 

My reaction? Nothing. I was expressionless; I didn’t know how to react my mind was blank.

 

“That’s great.” I forced a smile looking at her direction. “When’s the marriage?”

 

“It’s not official so I don’t know. I have to ask daddy.” So it’s her father that’s behind this huh?

 

“That’s good news. Just be more careful.” Standing up, I was about to go back into my room to get some sleep until Jessica grabbed my wrist and looked at me.

 

“Taeyeon-ah…”

 

I let go of her grip and looked at her with a soft smile before looking at everyone.

 

“Everyone get some sleep, we have a concert tomorrow so I want you all in good shape. Night.”

 

Leaving the girls, all I can hear is a deep sigh from her. Its better if we leave it like that because who knows how I would react when I took everything in. Part of me just wants to let go, but part of me can’t. I just want to stop feeling.

 

The warmth that I can feel on this winter day is the blanket wrapped around my body. All the happiness and warmth from the past couple of month just, disappeared. And just like that, nothing was the same. Not for her and not for me.

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“Oh you’re here” I was welcomed by a warm hug. 

 

“Aren’t you a bit too warm to be an ice princess?” A punch in the arm, expected. I chuckled taking a seat in front of her.

 

“How’s your boyfriend?”

 

“We broke up.”

 

“Oh. Well that’s surprising.”

 

During the time of our break, Jessica went back to America to see her boyfriend of 2 years. They have been together in a long distance relationship and I always wondered if they would get married. It looked like it, but I guess not.

 

“I should just try dating girls again.” She sighed as she traced the outline of her coffee cup smiling a bit. “Like how it was with you and Yuri”

 

I choked.

 

“I remember you telling me that Miss Korea performance was really hot.”

 

I coughed and chocked.

 

“You even imitated me on stage and not to mention at the dorm too.”

 

I facedesk.  She chuckled.

 

“Hey! It was, ok! One does not strip in the middle of stage! It’s so unexpected! Even though it was only a year ago—You did it as a solo stage at our concerts so nevermind” Puffing my cheeks, I pouted unconsciously. A soft hand ruffled my hair; I looked up I see to see a caring smile, like a mother’s smile towards her loving child, a child that was left in pieces that is.

 

“That’s the Kim Taeyeon I’ve missed. Welcome back.” Leaning in, she placed a kiss on my forehead. It felt very calming; very welcoming. When it comes to comfort, Jessica has her own way of showing it. Whoever will marry her in the future is very fortunate to have her. Very fortunate.

 

“Come on dork” she stood up and grabbed my wrist leading me towards the exit. “The girls are waiting at the hotel room. We better get there before everyone does.”

 

I nodded as I followed her like a little puppy to her master “Yes Sica-Yeosin~”

 

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This is the part where I sit down in the cough pouting.

 

“Why so down?”

 

“You didn’t tell me she’s here!”

 

“You should’ve figured! Of course she’s going to be here! We have a concert in less than a couple days here so obviously we’re all going to rendezvous here! Idiot!” She hit my head with her knuckle before pulling my wrist for the second time today. Trying to break free, I resisted against her strong pull. “Come—On---Kim---Tae----Yeon!!!” I resisted so hard that she fell on top of me. I can feel her hot breath against my ear and she leaned in as she whispered. “Come on, I have your favorite Soju. We’re gonna have a drinking game too, so cheer up.” She got off of me and dragging me with her to the kitchen.

 

“One bottle for the little puppy!” I glared at her as he hands me the small bottle

 

“Hey.” She ruffled my hair again with her soft hands as her body leans towards the kitchen counter. “Come on, you need a break. Just look at her.” She sighed pointing with her eyes towards her and the man she was passionately kissing in the doorway before leading him out. “Now that’s a sight, if I was you, I want to forget for the rest of my life.”

 

I scoffed opening the bottle and chugging down half of it. “I’m so over her.” She glared at me. I avoided her gaze by looking at the tip of the bottle. “Yep, you’re right; I’m so not over her.” She smiled as I took in another chug, this time finishing the bottle.

 

“He’s gone! Now let’s play!” I sighed, my body slowly sliding down the table top. I pouted and hugged my knees. “I don’t wanna~” Jessica patted my shoulder “Come on Taeyeon, it’s been a year since you’ve avoided her. It’s time to talk to her, even when you’re drunk.” I hit my head towards the cabinet.

 

“It’ll be fun.”

 

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She lied.

 

“Oh my gosh, Kim Taeyeon you need to not tell the truth” She said in English. The room was now filled with laughter and joy and not to mention slightly drunk to really drunk mid 20 girls talking about their love life.

 

“I swear….I people thought we were dating…but he’s gay! For god sakes he’s gay!” I stumbled back down when I tried to get up. Drunk? No of course not, I’m so sober.

 

“And then one time….he was all like ‘Kim Taeyeon! Why do people think I’m gay?!’ Im just like…Yah! You…You like guys…and I’m the girl you’re comfortable with! Idiot!” I laughed whole heartedly causing some members to spit out their drinks and laugh with me or just choke to death.

 

“Jessie, can you bring her to bed she looks really tired.” I hear her speak in English again. Why is everyone speaking English? Oh yea, we’re in America.

 

“Yea sure.”  I hear Jessica responded back in English as she picked me up. I dropped to the floor flailing my hands and legs everywhere. “I don’t wanna! Why do you have to take me to my room, why don’t MIyoung take me to my hotel room?”  I complained. It’s not like I don’t want Jessica, I just don’t want to trouble her. Unfortunately I said her name instead of any other member’s name.

 

“Yah! Kim Taeyeon! Are you the….The maknae?” I see Yuri pointing at with her loopy face and her empty bottle. Sunny put Yuri’s arm down and put her arm around Yuri’s shoulder. “Yuri-ah, just sleep.”

 

“I’ll take her to her room.” I hear her speak English again, but I have no clue what she’s saying. It’s like I’ve gone deaf.

 

“Are you sure? Do you really want to? With her in this state? She can take advantage of you, or you can take advantage of her. I don’t want any of you to be hurt.” I hear Jessica reply back in English. The way she spoke, it bothered me, but I don’t know why.

 

“It’s fine.” Oh no I see her walking towards me and I see Jessica giving her what it seems like my room key.  “What’s her room number?” That wasn’t English I hear. “309, its on this floor, but it’s quite a walk. She asked for a smaller room, so you probably have to walk a lot.

 

I feel Jessica pushing me towards her and she caught me, her hands around my waist. I can hear and feel her heartbeat in this position. She sighed. “You’re such a mess, Taeyeon…” she whispered and once again in English. She put my arm around her shoulder as she put her left arm on my shoulder.

 

“Taeyeon, you need to work with me now.” I nodded slightly and followed her steps as she exit the hotel room.

 

Several minutes later, we finally reached my apartment room. My vision was even worse because I didn’t put on my contacts this morning. My ears started to ring and my knees start to go weak. She noticed how weak I was and tucked me in gently. Her slender fingers combed my hair, her eyes they were staring at me, and her smile it was how it used to be a couple years ago when we were together.

 

“Go to sleep, you’re shipwreck right now.” She laid down on the bed caressing my face.

 

“You know me best.” I can hear her chuckle and smile. The only smile that belonged to me. The only smile that I can only see.  Why can’t you be mine?

 

“I’ll be going now.” Before she can leave the bed, I gathered the strength I have left and got up to put my hand on her shoulder and turn her to face me. The gap between us closed and shortly opened again. “Stay. Please?” I looked into her eyes full of answers I can’t figure out. Answers that I want to know. Answers I’ve been looking for this past year.

 

“And if I said no?” I pouted.

 

“I’ll convince you.”

 

“And how will you do tha—“I closed the gap between us letting everything go in a flow. The kiss lasted longer and deeper. Her hand was behind my neck pulling me closer. Our kiss was sloppy, but it was full of passion, full of yearning; yet it was controlled. Separating slowly, I place my forehead on hers pulling her down with me into the bed. “Please?” I can feel her hot breath on my face as she tried to gasp for air. I can hear her chuckled slightly as she tucked herself inside the blanket.

“If you ask me what happened tomorrow morning I won’t tell you.”

 

“I’ll try to.”

 

With that last kiss, my mind faded into the night, holding onto what is most precious to me. Deep inside I know I felt regret, but it felt so right. It felt like the missing piece of me was finally found, and sadly, it’ll disappear once again without a trace

 

Because she can’t belong to me.