LAY

She was everything and will always be everything for me even though she wasn’t here; right by my side. I know I’ve been such a fool for not realizing how precious her love was. Before I was selfish and I didn’t even care about her. I didn’t understand her whole heart. Even though I know it is not really worth it saying, I’m still trying my best to change who I am because of her love that gave me strength. Right now, right at this moment, it seems as if everything in my whole world somehow reminds me of her. I miss her so much; her laughter that sounded like sweet melody, her sweet smile that bright my dull days, her angelic voice that makes me feels like I’m in Heaven and her passionate love that I’m longing to feel. I wish I could turn back the time, I would go back to her; telling her everything would be just fine and I’m always there for her no matter what even when the whole world is against her. Though her heart wasn’t mine, I still wanted her to know I’ll be waiting for it even if it takes forever.

Here I am right now. At the place where we both met for the first time, hoping she would turn up. That moment, I knew she was the right one but love exists with an absence of eternity.

I still remember that day when we first met. To me, she was the beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. She’s more beautiful than a black pearl is. She’s just perfect.

The clock was about to strike midnight but I stayed hoping she would remember today. I hope she wanted me as well as I am to her. But I guess… Miracle doesn’t exist. So that eternity. But my hopes are high enough to convince myself. So I stayed. Waiting for her.

I replayed the sweet and bitter memories of us together. I smiled and felt guilty at the same time. Regretting what I’ve done to you, to us. I really wanted to say I’m sorry but I didn’t get the chance to.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

Did you hear me, ____?

The night started to get colder than ever. I shivered as the breeze brushed my skin. I stood here, eyeing the surroundings. The place was empty as my heart is right now that I couldn’t even feel anything.

I still remember the day I used to spend together with her. It happened the way the sun rose, the way a flower blossomed, the way rain fell from the sky, the way of love faded away from a heart.

Kissing her. I could still taste the sweetness of her lips. I could still feel the warmth from her. I wish I could have the chance to kiss her again.

_____.

The night was getting darker. And that was when the rain started to pour down to Earth. I blinked my eyes and a tear trickled down to my cheek. I didn’t know whether it was the rain or my own tears but I just felt sad, guilty, and stupid at the same time.

Happy anniversary.” The words come out bitter and they tasted sour leaving my mouth. I closed my eyes as the last tear from my eyes fell.

“Happy anniversary.” My eyes flashed open. I knew that voice. It was the same voice that replayed through my head day and night. It was the voice I longed to hear for so long. It was her. I quickly whirled around looking for her. My eyes searched frantically around the square.

Nobody. It was only my imagination. I should’ve known. Miracles don’t exist. My tears crashed down harder than ever. I almost screamed out. I fell down to my knees. I couldn’t hold it longer. I felt hurt.

I lost the most beautiful girl in my whole life. She was the light to my day. Now all I can do was missing her…

_____.

YOU

Here I am. Standing alone in the place I used to see him once. This was where our love encountered each other. To me, he was a flawless guy. I liked him, I loved him. My oh my…

I know I am nobody to him but I am still hoping I would get the chance to be in his life even for a while. I just… I loved him too much to let him go. I wonder if he felt the same…

Lay…

To me, love is when I smile whenever I think of your face,

To me, love is when I can fall asleep in your arms even after an fight

To me, love is when I run home after work just so I can have u in my space

To me, love is when I can see that you love me even at my worst

To me, love is when you are my best friend even when I disagree with what you just said!

To me, love is when I can't imagine ever having another person touch my body

To me, love is believing that every thing you tell me is the truth

To me, love is when I can truly be myself, no frills, no lies, no make up and you still look at me like I am the most beautiful thing you ever saw

To me, love is when I want to spend every minute with you because you make me laugh, even at myself!

To me, love is what I have with you everyday and I can't get enough of you!

Your love makes me stronger… Your love makes me proud.

You held my hands when I felt like the loneliest person on the planet. You hugged me when I had no one to hold on to me. You healed my soul with your pure and immaculate love. You gave me everything you could when I had nothing to give you. You made me believe in the power of unconditional love. Your love gave me the strength and courage to face the world all over again. I have never known a love like this before and..

Dear God, I need You to heal my heart, mind and soul and make me whole again… I have been feeling this heartache for so long and I need to move on with my life… Lord please comfort me and surround me with your peace and love.

Lay.. Did you know about my love toward you?
It grows bigger each day as much as I miss you.

** **

Today is March 19.

This guy and this girl waited for each other in the same place but fate didn’t destiny them to meet each other.

She waited for him and she left just as he arrived.

Love is pain. Love is cruel.

Only if she stayed…

If only he could turn back the time…

Eternity doesn’t exist, miracles don’t exist.

Love him. Love her.

Bear the pain.

Miss him. Miss her.

Accept the reality even if it hurts a lot.

Would there be another chance for a guy to have a girl back?

. . . . . .