June 30, 2012

I killed my own baby and my husband hates me. I’m the worst wife and mom on Earth. Why am I even alive. I sat up from on the bed, I was still in the hospital. It wasn’t a major accident but my body needed to recover. I don’t care about my body. I don’t care if I’m injured. It doesn’t matter anymore.

Jongin visited me yesterday. He didn’t say much, but I could tell. He was broken. I had killed the baby that he didn’t even know existed. He quietly took care of me yesterday, occasionally asking if I wanted anything or if I was comfortable. He’s supposed to come by later today too.

I got out of the bed and went by the window. I looked down at the ground below me. From the fourth floor, everyone looked so tiny.

I broke my husband and killed our baby. I destroyed my family. Why do I still exist? Why am I not being punished? I can’t stand it anymore. I open the window. I stick my head out and close my eyes, the breeze gently hitting my face.

I’m sorry Jongin. I’m sorry baby. I’m really sorry.

I love you.

June 30, 2013

The Adonis. It emanates beauty and liveliness. The passionate red color revives precious childhood memories. The sweet fragrance calms even the busiest of minds. Even the name sparks interest of its beholder. You would expect that such a vivacious flower has an equally vivacious story. Alas, that isn’t th