eight

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soo ah.

It had been a few days since Taek Woon and I had been meeting each other from time to time. Of course, Hak Yeon and Ji Eun had to be there. It was like the two of us were their precious gold - Something they couldn't let go of and needed to be protected. Even though I had to admit that I was as weak and frail like glass and I needed even some of the tiniest protection I deserved, I still desired to be by myself at times. 

I wished to be a turtle who could break out of its shell.

But this kind of turtle is scared of the bright light and would rather hide in the darkness.

I was afraid... Scared that the people around me might misunderstand me again. They might misinterpret my actions for something else and Ji Eun had to deal with it, since I couldn't do anything anyway. If I speak, people would react, if I won't speak, people would still react. It was like everything I had to do was being monitored or judged; like my every words and actions were all planned out and were only waiting for me to take action. For the hundredth time, I bit my lip, suppressing all the emotions I had in me. I felt tired, all the stares and people around me... I tried to ignore them, but I couldn't. 

It was like a mere sound that I make would later became a buzz and turn into noise.

I stared at him today again on the 5th Tuesday of the month, if my memory serves me right... Weeks had already passed, and all we did was to bow our heads lightly, serving as a greeting to each other. It was the only move I could do at that point of time. I felt that I knew why he didn't utter words like "Good Morning" whenever we greet and just bowed instead - He might think I'm really strange. I mean, a girl he just met actually did gather courage to plainly greet him? Isn't that rather odd? Even just a little bit?

Now that I think about it, I did gather some, even if it's a little, courage to make even the slightest contact to him.

For a while, I felt successful with my plans.

We both stared at each other, while the people around me stared at my form, except Hak Yeon-ssi who was all confused. I already know what he felt, being confused as you become the center of attention, I know... And yet, why could I still look at people directly? Even though I do hate other people's surprising gazes and avoid them eventually, I could still look at them in the eye. Ji Eun wondered why, even I wonder why myself.

And one proof of me being able to stare at other people for more than 10 seconds is him.

The man in front of me.

I bowed at him, he bowed back. It became our somewhat "daily routine". Ji Eun and Hak Yeon was used to it, after all, they see our slightest moves everyday. It was like Ji Eun was my mother while Hak Yeon was Taek Woon's. At the very moment they noticed, they knew that something was up. Ji Eun knew my motives; Hak Yeon knew Taek Woon's. Oh how I wish I knew what Taek Woon-ssi was thinking at that moment. Maybe by then, that would be a great experience. Maybe if I did know, then it could help me progress.

"What's so important with him?"

"What's her name again? ...Soo Ah?"

"She's staring at that guy again? Geez, really?!"

Important, you say?

"...Good morning!"

What's important is... My wish is to get closer with him...

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