forty-two

—

soo ah.

It was a Wednesday, and Taek Woon didn't seem like himself today at all. 

I was quite worried. He kept on spacing out, staring outside or any random object that his eyes could spot on, completely ignoring the whole world around him. I don't know... It could've been me, but I felt like he became even more... Quiet, if that was possible. I gazed at his form in the sidelines, and I could notice that he wasn't paying attention at all. The Taek Woon I know was the type of person to take notice of everything. But that Taek Woon I knew was gone, for today at least. Even at Hak Yeon who could easily disrupt his thoughts. Every time the tan one would try to strike up a conversation, the latter wouldn't listen and would keep on nodding as if he was being attentive in the first place. "Yah!" Hak Yeon slapped Taek Woon's arm, "Are you paying attention?" He sulked at him. Taek Woon raised his head and rounded his eyes, "Huh... What?"

"Geez Taek Woon! And here I thought that you were actually listening since you kept on bowing your head."

"Y-Yeah I did understand." 

Hak Yeon rolled his eyes and bit his lips, "...Sure." 

There's also Jae Hwan who joined us for lunch. He talked nonstop like a radio, maybe that was the reason why Ji Eun shook her head when we asked if it was okay for him to tag along. He brought life in the group, actually. Hak Yeon was laughing to the point that he cried and Ji Eun would occasionally laugh and plant her face on her palm, finding his jokes, as she described them, "corny". He had the ability to make people smile; he infected people with his happy virus, and I found it charming. But I guess there was one person who was immune with Jae Hwan's "Happy Virus". And it was Taek Woon.

I stared at his side profile. He who was playing with his food using his chopsticks seemed dull. I guess he was thinking deeply, maybe even too deep, since his eyes were so distant. I felt guilty for a while. I felt that it was my fault. Though I was aware myself that I didn't wrong him... I tried to talk to him. "Taek Woon?" I spoke with my delicate voice. "Hmm?" He shifted his attention towards mine and fluttered his eyes twice. Fidgeting, I tried to come up with a topic to discuss. "U-Uhm... Are you feeling okay?" I asked.

—

leo.

I was engrossed in my thoughts the whole time I was in school. I wondered too hard my head practically hurt for a while from all of the thinking. I couldn't keep my head straight, since I couldn't stop worrying about Soo Ah being around that... That Hong Bin guy. Frankly, there was no actual need for me to worry. He knew Soo Ah more than I did, so in a way, he's the one who should be worried about her being with someone like me - A stranger she just met in over a year.

A stranger, huh...? I poked the food with my chopsticks when I heard my name.

"Taek Woon?"

"Hmm?" I diverted my attention in just a split-second. "U-Uhm... Are you feeling okay?" Soo Ah asked. I gazed intently into her eyes and flashed a small smile.

I don't know much about the girl in front of me, so I don't have the right to be jealous.

—

soo ah.

At lunch time, Taek Woon convinced that he was fine by smiling at me. At that moment, he was searchingly gazing into my eyes, which made my hammering heart melt in just a second. A second. I couldn't read his thoughts even though I frequently get pass through his deadpan face, and by the time I saw his glimmering, raven eyes, I felt even more confused. I couldn't precisely put a finger on it - His eyes were telling me that he was fine, but his smile, which seemed rather off, portrayed the opposite. 

I was restless the whole day and I couldn't get his sort of "melancholic" expression out of my mind. I felt this sudden churn in my stomach. I wanted to make sure that he was fine, since out of all the days he seemed somber, this day was the worst; so I asked Hak Yeon some questions. Even though he gave off the impression of being the worst person to ask advice from... Next to that mischievous Jae Hwan. 

As soon as I asked about what was going on in Taek Woon's mind, Hak Yeon laughed instead of arching an eyebrow. "Don't worry about him too much." He patted my head, uncertain about what he was talking about. "You know what? When I first met that guy I was the same. I couldn't go on a day without worrying about him. Taek Woon is the type to easily pity, you know?" I nodded in acknowledgement, fiddling with my fingers as I concentrated on what Hak Yeon had to say. "So don't put too much thought about it." He gave me an affectionate and sincere smile, one which made him glow brightly and warmly. "He often worries about you too, you know? So he feels the same way as you." He informed.

"Le-Shin-Set." Hak Yeon blurted out all of the sudden.

"...Eh?"

"Once you start caring for Leo, it's game set." 

The man in front of me explained further since he noticed that I didn't fully understand his statement. "It means that there's no way out once you fall for Leo." I looked down in a trance; Hak Yeon's words ringed and echoed all over my head. I asked in my mind a lot of questions that I admittedly cannot answer myself...

Why didn't I notice that people around me started using the nickname "Leo"? 

Why haven't I grasped the fact that I'm actually starting to fall for Taek Woon?

Then, I asked again...

Why haven't I asked these right from the start?

—