Story number: 5/30

Title: See

Pairing: Kwanghee-Heecheol

Song: Ghost of Wind

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"Why can't you see me?"

Silence was all the answer given to his question.

"Heecheol-ah, why can't he see me?"

"Why do you want him to see you?"

"Because...just...he always..."

"You never did want him to see you, right? So, why complaining now?"

"It's...it's just weird. Because he had always seen me."

"But you never saw him. And now he has decided to move on and find whoever that can see him, who wants to see him. That's all."

He nodded, slowly. Remorse somehow made way to attack his insides.

"You should too." Heecheol added with a bitter smile.

"Yeah. Maybe I should too."

But saying is always much easier than actually doing. Kwanghee had heard of the saying all his life, but he never thought he would ever have to learn it through experience. It was pitiful, he thought. He was pitiful. And yet, nobody pitied him. Not his best friend. And not even the only friend he's left with now, Heecheol.

The person whom he had grew up with and seen everyday since young, the person who was lonely, neglected and weak as a child who he ended up taking under his wing, that person who had since, always stared at him with wide shining eyes, that person whose smile never left his eyes for each and every time they had spent together, the person who had countlessly promised to never leave him no matter what, to never let his hand go forever, to never look elsewhere but him, had left, leaving his bare hands in the cold, not even sparing one glance anymore. It was also the very same person he had always seen before his eyes, but never reflected any deeper than the surface. The very person he sometimes wished would just for once, stop burdening him with the unwanted overwhelming adoration that often only made him suffocated, the person he often walked past without even noticing his presence, the person he never tried to look at beyond the surface, the person he never thought he would ever wish to see.

"Hey, Kwanghee! Wait...where are you going?"

He continued walking listlessly.

"What...what's wrong with you? What happen?"

He spared no word.

A hand grabbed his, forcing him to turn around.

"Kwanghee, can you see me? What's wrong? You're fine this morning. Tell me."

The first answer to the two questions was the only one needed though. It was the reason nothing else mattered.

He couldn't see that person.

And now he wished he had seen him, when he had the opportunity.

"Why didn't I see him earlier? Why didn't I look at him, even once?"

Even Heecheol has started ignoring his endless regretful questionings.

"Heecheol-ah, why couldn't I see him?"

"Ugh. Does it matter anymore? It's too late. You don't have to see him anymore."

"I don't." He repeated, trying to convince himself, holding his chest.

"But why does it hurt so much?"

"Because you're an idiot."

"I am."

"I told you, just let him go. Just forget him already. And move on with life. Already."

"I...but I can't. I never saw him all these while and only now. Only now did I..." He couldn't continue. The words rushed themselves, clogging his throat. The pain was unbearable.

"I...I should've appreciated him when he's still..."

"Kwanghee...let him go. Or else, he'd never be able to be at peace."

"I...but...right...you...you're right."

"Be strong. And do it. For him."

"I...I'll try."

"And Kwanghee, one more thing..."

"What?"

"Don't look for me anymore."

Just with the warning, Heecheol left. No, it didn't sound like a warning to him, but more likely, ...pleading? It doesn't matter. Now, even Heecheol is leaving him alone. But what could he expect? He had just met Heecheol, why would he expect the younger man who always bore blank, darkened eyes, conflicted expression and restrained and at times, cold demeanor to stay by his side when even his best friend since forever didn't hesitate to leave?

As much as the warning made him devastated, to be ditched for no reason so easily, he couldn't blame Heecheol. He couldn't even blame that person - his friend.

"Kwanghee..."

The figure that was blocking his view, forced him to see that person.

"What?" He looked up. And noticed the shirt and hair that were drenched, soaked.

"What happen to you?"

"I waited for you. You promised we'd go there together right?"

"Oh...I...forgot. Sorry."

"Didn't you see me waiting?"

He didn't. And he never understood the reason himself, but he really couldn't see that person.

He wished he had been able to do so, earlier. But it was too late now. He sighed. Again.

That evening, the weather was pleasant. The wind blew gracefully, and it actually made him felt lighter off his burdenful thoughts that had been weighing on him. It even went as far as to gave him the encouragement to start anew. And try to forget that person who used to be his friend he never saw but no more.

That was, at least until he saw that very person walking by, and actually heading towards him. He was suddenly afraid, and shivered in fear. He wasn't sure whether he should run or hide. He wasn't prepared to face that person. It was strange that when that person started to ignore him, he became desperate for attention that once belonged to him and only him. Strange, funny and pathetic it was. And now when he could've finally gotten what he had been wanting back for the past three weeks, he chickened out.

But while he was thinking of the step he should make, that person had once again brushed past him, ignoring him again, with the same empty look that bore no admiration nor adoration he always had held captive in his blind, heedless gaze, back then. Back when things hadn't changed like now.

"Why can't he see me? What am I so lacking?"

"Nothing, Kwanghee. You lacked nothing."

"Why is he always choosing other people? Do my works really all fell short?"

"What? No way. You're smarter than..."

He had turned his attention elsewhere, again. Just one of the countless of times.

"Hey...Kwanghee, can you hear me? Hello..."

"Huh? Oh...yeah...sorry. I wonder..." He stared at his friend, puzzled, as usual, with his eyes there but his mind, elsewhere.

"...never mind."

"What? What is it?"

"I'm just thinking...but...you probably won't understand anyway. So, it's fine."

"No, try me."

"Well, ...have you ever felt how it is to be ignored by the one person you try so hard to impress? How it felt to be unseen by that person?"

That person, couldn't co