I woke up that night

Fazed by my dream

I finally saw what you saw

Felt what you felt

Realized what you said

Weren’t a bunch of angry words

But the reason why I‘m so distressed

It was typical. Key was the umma, Taemin was the maknae, Minho was the most competitive, Onew was the leader and Jonghyun was the dork. Just like what everyone knew, just like how it was manufactured through the years and them growing into their nicknames, showing people that they are what they were said to be. They all had different dreams and goals but all with the same hidden meaning.

To become the best.

Competition was there and in every aspect. Singing, dancing, being the smartest, funniest, in life and not to forget in love as well.

So it wasn’t odd that when Jonghyun was the first one to “date” that a certain member got rather uncomfortable. Jonghyun himself didn’t realize this, that Key took it personally unlike the other members who just let it slide. Was it because he had to lie about it? Because Jonghyun wasn’t actually dating her? Because he was the first one to actually be announced as in love even though Key believed that it would always end up as him. Because everyone knew he was the wittiest.

Or maybe cause he couldn’t talk to him anymore.

Maybe it was because he was told by his manager that he couldn’t look at Jonghyun anymore in a loving way, even though they were best’s of friends. Maybe it was because he couldn’t touch him, hug him or even interact with him in the foreseen public. He wasn’t allowed to say things such as “I love you” Or “You’re mine” to him publicly.

And it was the fact that only he knew.

It was the fact that Jonghyun wasn’t told about this and only he was. The fact that only he had to lie.

But they gave him reasons.

Reasons he only considered as excuses. They told him that it was because people are starting to get the wrong image, that they are starting to look more like a couple rather than two friends. They said that this made the company look bad and that they wouldn’t be respected and be considered as “taboo”. And while they were spouting all these reasons he fought back with words such as ‘unintentional’ and ‘stupid’. But they had their ways, threatening him of losing his job, the dream he ran after. And he knew if he did not do what they implied he would crash down.

His so called life would disappear.

So he did as they told him to. He stopped looking at him. He kept his distance. Jonghyun at first was confused and kept on asking him being the clueless one he was, but all Kibum said was that there was nothing to ask about.

And told him that he wanted their fans to picture him with SeKyung rather than him.

But when he said that, he told him through cheers and laughter and assured him that everything was fine.

But when he locked the door he collapsed.

His tears were for lying, he promised to never lie because he knew how a big of a sin that can make. His tears were for caring, about how Jonghyun was coping with such a stupid devious act. He was warned about the dark secrets of the industry, yet he ran after his dream and the fact that one of his closest friends was the one that was captured in such a lie an act made it all worse.

He wasn’t called an “Umma” for no reason, even though he hid it with being harsh and having a loud voice. Denying that he wasn’t but only few knew how soft hearted he was and that when he couldn’t take it any longer he would just bawl it out. Through tears, laughter depending on the matter. And Jonghyun was one of these people that he cared for, even though he was older but there was no such thing as not caring for who was older than you. They would become more stressed than you and forget about their lives for a day or two and they needed someone to show them life again.

But Jonghyun wasn’t that much older than Key to start forgetting but he did, only for seconds. He focused on composing, developing his musical skills to remind himself that he didn’t drop High School for nothing and he should at least learn what there is to learn about Music. But Key distracted him and told him to not take things seriously and to have fun or taste the meal he just made or to go out shopping.

And Jonghyun never said no and he never told him to scurry off, because he knew that he was still young and that he still needed to live, he agreed fully. He knew that one day he had to compose for a living. When SHINee was no longer thought of, and when each one of them had to follow their own paths.

So when Key started to drift off a month after he was told to involve himself in a scandal, it made him worried. Why would he do such a thing? But Key confronted him and told him it was okay which lifted his heart only a bit, to see Key smile made his heart ease.

Maybe he could be called selfish, wanting to have Key all for his self but then he felt comfortable with him as well. The two fit each other like bread and butter, Jack and Jill or even Romeo and Juliet, if you must. And it wasn’t only them that saw this it was the members as well, they saw it. The fans saw it and so did their families but it didn’t bother them. Being best friends wasn’t wrong, right?

 

It’s not like I chose this path of love

I fell in it but carried along

Just to find what they call trust

But instead I found something else

I found you

But then Jonghyun knew what Key was holding back. It didn’t take that much for him to figure it out. Key was a tempered person and pressing the correct buttons made him blurt it out. Cause at that moment when he put his arm around his shoulder in their fan meeting in Busan he felt Key tense and try and shrug him away. And when he started whispering in his ear and asking him if he’s alright and he knew he was about to get a few words back at the dorm.

“Can’t you for one second just stop talking to me? Do you know how much your fans would hate me if they thought I was ruining and snatching you away from your current love life?” Key emphasized as soon as they entered their dorm.

“So this is all my fault? And you avoiding me for the past months were just the normal, Key? Is that all? I’m the bad guy now?” Jonghyun replied, he was getting there. Only a few more words and he’ll blurt it out on him.

“Then is it mine, huh? Do you think we aren’t suffering? I wanted to change Jonghyun, to become the caring person in people’s eyes. I was the rude one before I got to my dream, I wanted people to see that I was a good person! And the only way to show that, Jonghyun, was to take care of you all! Now because of your ‘scandal’ I must look like the and be one! I’m lying for god’s sake Jonghyun! And you know how I feel about that!”

“Key, I really didn’t mean to. I was forced in this-”

“No, you, just forget about this. From now on we’re only going to talk to each other for work matters only. I don’t want my dream to be snatched away by a careless person like you,” and with that being said Key barged into his room that he shared with Taemin, slamming the door in process.

And Jonghyun must’ve admitted that he didn’t realize how much Key meant to him till that very day.

It was because of his ‘almightiness’ that he would look up to him. Key tried his best in all and Jonghyun fell for that. Even though he was older they filled each other. Key would show him, teach on how to make his English pronunciation better while Jonghyun would guide him in his singing and tell him when to hit the right notes. But Key had unlimited talents and Jonghyun could never compete with that. He was incomparable and that’s why he looked up to him.

But neither of them denied each other’s presence in their lives. If one of them were the opposite , they’d definitely date. They’d tease around each other, read each other minds just by giving each other some glances.

So it was very odd for Key to snap at him, but he knew something was wrong the moment they have all been informed that Jonghyun was going to involve himself in a ‘scandal’. With a woman. And no other than Shin Se Kyung, Jonghyun’s ideal type.

But later that night when he was lying on his bed, he thought over what Key had shouted at him. “I’m lying for god’s sake Jonghyun!” But weren’t they all lying, it wasn’t only Key. And lying wasn’t a healthy habit to have for anyone anyway. But Jonghyun knew this would come up. Everyone knew how dirty the entertainment industry is, and this was one of the most frequent dirty habit. An idol’s love life was always targeted and asked about so lying was oblique and no one had a choice.

“I don’t want my dream to be snatched away by a careless person like you,” What does this have to do with snatching his dream? Jonghyun thought. If Key kept it up like this till he was told to break up with her then they’d continue on, like always. Right? Why would he be feared to have his stardom snatched away from him.

Only if…he was threatened.

And that is when it hit Jonghyun. His friend wouldn’t hurt, except for an important matter.

And I’m begging for your forgiveness

Like a fool

As I have only realized how much I’ve hurt you

Would please take back my heart

And let us both amend what has been broken

At least fixing it together

Would bring back a sunny day

So he decided to fix it, and fast. Later, that night, he crept into Key’s shared room and decided to wake him up.  

“Key! Key!” Jonghyun whispered impatiently. Key looked up at Jonghyun with half lidded eyes and sighed.

“Leave me alone, it’s past midnight,” he mumbled to the person who was now fighting to get the duvet out if his grip.

Jonghyun successfully got the duvet off of Key’s body as he groaned in the process.

“Yah, just go away, didn’t I tell you not to talk to me?!” Key groaned as he closed his eyes and turned so that his back faced Jonghyun.

But Jonghyun didn’t give up. He had to know why Key was acting this way.

He didn’t want to lose Kibum.

“Okay fine, then tomorrow morning I’ll go to our Manager and tell him how could he do such a thing to you,”

Jonghyun turned around, got up and was about to leave but felt a couple of fingers wrap around his wrist in sudden motion.

He felt Key’s stare behind his back.

“H-How did you know?” Key stuttered in a low whisper that barely Jonghyun heard.

But he knew what was coming and he knew what Key asked him.

“Isn’t it obvious why they made me date her? Wasn’t it to part us, so that we seemed more like friends rather than freakin’ lovers? Between me and you, I think it was obvious all along but I just had to make sure.”

“So now that you know, what are you planning to do Jjong?” Key unwrapped his fingers from the latter’s wrist and sighed. Jonghyun slowly turned around and faced Kibum, in a step, startled by the usage of his nickname.

“Key, what did they say to you?” he questioned the younger, ignoring his question,“Key, we need to fix this I’ve had enough with this already and I’m willing to end it, it’s been too long anyway.”

“They told me they’d fire me, snatch my dream away,” Key sighed and ran a hand through his hair and left it their, still laying on his bed, “They told me that we were a shame to the company and I fought, Jonghyun, I told them I couldn’t lie. I told them how stupid it sounded, but it hurt me. Because everytime I looked at you I would remember and I wasn’t willing to give up everything just for a stupid scandal. Even if it lasts through our whole career.”

“Kibum, I’m truly sorry,” Jonghyun whispered and cupped Key’s face, “Tomorrow. I’ll end it tomorrow,” he then lifted his hand away from Key’s check.

But the next move startled Jonghyun as Kibum pulled him into a hug, his arms around his neck as Jonghyun slowly wrapped his arms around the latter’s this waist.

“I know you are,” Key mumbled into the vocalist’s shoulder’s, “And thank you Jonghyun, for staying by my side and I’m sorry as well. If I wanted to fix this, I should’ve told you. I’m sorry,” he pulled out of the hug and looked into Jonghyun’s eye’s and saw them gleam with relief and happiness.

They got each other back.

“One thing I know is that no matter what I would never leave you, even if they had to fire both of us then we’ll go down together.”

“Yah, that’s not a positive thought. And they’d be stupid to get rid of you, if they wanted to lose a man with the most amazing vocals in the K-pop industry,” Key replied, smiling.

From that moment on, he knew that it ended. And they both felt it, the relief. Because they both knew how much the other meant and maybe on their own they were capable of doing as much, but together they were the perfect combination.

And I’d be stupid enough

To let you go

See you soar

Without me

And I’d be stupid enough

To let you feel

The wind on your face

Without me

Jonghyun kept his promise. For the next morning he left without a word to their manager’s office and informed him to end it. The manager was taken aback of course but Jonghyun was bold enough. He told him it would be better to finish it now, it was a new year and they would tell the public that they needed a new start. The manager threatened, told him how insane he was. But Jonghyun reminded him and told him that he wouldn’t want to lose such a person, after all wasn’t that what he was after, the money his vocals could bring?

Key was right the manager thought twice before he answered and said he can end the ‘scandal’ with her, but he’ll only be announcing it to the public afterwards.

He knew SeKeyung wouldn’t mind, heck, she wasn’t even thinking about it as she was busy with her movie. So he just sent her a quick text and walked feeling free again.

“Yah, Jjong where did you leave my sunglasses this time?” Key said with nothing but an annoyed face.

“Oh come on, I bought these for you! And you might just want to check my dressing table in my room,” Jonghyun said from the couch.

“I know! And that is why I take extra care of them!” Key exclaimed with a grin on his face as he made his way towards Jonghyun and Minho’s shared room.

Key immediately picked the pair of Alexander Wang’s, but then he noticed the folded paper next to it. Clearly it was something Jonghyun had been writing as he seemed to be busy lately with writing lyrics in his spare time.

Key couldn’t help but put down his sunglasses and unfold the paper.

 

I might have been wandering lately

Somewhere between the dark alley’s

The cold wind touches my skin

And all I remember are my sins

 

But just as you come into my thoughts

The cold no longer affects me

Like the moon that shine’s in the dark

You showed me

 

Cause you were the friend

That held me when I was falling

And you were the parent

That listened to all my fears

But most importantly

You were the lover

That shared the night with me

The key to my heart

The reason why I’m here

 

I might have been naïve lately

More or less, a fool

It took time for me to see

The glistening moon

That cleared the night

 

And I’ve had my share

I’m sorry I wasn’t there

Was I that stupid not to see?

Even though you clearly showed me

 

Cause you were the friend

That held me when I was falling

And you were the parent

That listened to all my fears

But most importantly

You were the lover

That shared the night with me

The key to my heart

The reason why I’m here

Key read it over and over again till he realized how hard his heart was beating. But it was clearly just a song, it couldn’t be meant for him. Or could it?

Key folded it yet again and laid it on the table, putting it in it’s exact position, his fingers lingering over it. He took his sunglasses and went out of the room.

He just waved the thought away and signaling the song to be a new single or so.

He didn’t realize that Jonghyun had already captured his heart.

Time will come by

And make us realize

How we both

Fit each other

Like a Jigsaw Puzzle