Review from Sehun's Review and Recommendation Café

Let’s Meet in Our Next Life

Title: (7/10)

The title wasn't special or attention-grabbing but it does relates to the story. It was emphasize well in the ending for a nice touch to show the connection between the story and the title. However, I feel that the title is hinting too much information. From the title, I feel as though someone is going to die in the story and later hope that they will meet in their next life together which exactly what happened in the story. I would have preferred a title where it didn't give off too much information, especially for a one-shot.

 

Overall Appearance: (8/10)

The overall appearance of the story was pleasing especially the font and size used for the wordings in the story. It was extrememly comfortable to read and pleasing to read as well. The poster was great as well, it gives off a angst feeling from the poster theme but I would have hope that a girl could be added in the poster because I feel that she takes up a bigger role than Myungsoo in the story as the story is mostly written in her point of view. The background was great and simple as well.

 

Description and Foreword: (5/10)

The description was slightly messy, the point of view kept on changing throughout the description. There's a few part that wasn't necessary as well in the description, for example - 'For the past four years' and 'Don't expect this story to..'. 'Don't expect this story to be...' wasn't quite necessary because you listed 'angst' as your story theme so it was a giveaway. Just like the title, too much detail and information was given away in the description. 

Except for the fact that the revelation of Myungsoo dying of Brain Tumor wasn't reveal, everything else is pretty much told in the title and description. You should have written a short description about the time spent with Myungsoo and your relationship with him in the description instead. Keeping the information of him being dead untold to give readers a small surprise.

Most importantly, the description didn't make me feel interested in reading the story. If I would to chance upon this story, I might not read on. It's a waste because I love your writing style and how you wrote this story. Try to keep it interesting by not revealing too much information of the story especially if it's a short one-shot story. 

 

Plot: (10/20) 

The plot wasn't original, I've probably read countless number of times about a brain tumor story where the main character will die or either make their love suffer. There isn't any twists or surprises in the story that make the story more original or different than the other brain tumor stories.

Along the story, there is a lot of missing details/information and holes in the story. You skipped too much in between as well. For example, when Myungsoo disappeared for a long time, you should write a part in his point of view to show the readers different side to the story ; instead of just writing how worried she is.

Secondly, the part when Myungsoo reappeared again, it was too sudden. You could build up slowly until the scene he ran out to look for her. It was all too sudden that he reappeared back and suddenly ask her to watch him perform. Should she insists on wanting answers why he disappeared instead of agreeing to watch him perform?

What I like about the story is you didn't rush the whole plot, you started slow and try to develop the characters relationship together. I really like the part about singing on the stage as well, even though I was really confused. When Myungsoo died, he died on the stage or? Because you said something about him dying but both you and Woohyun didn't react to that. What about the crowd? That part wasn't explained or written clearly but overall wise, I love the idea of him singing a song to her as a last gift. It was special and sweet.

The ending was average, I like how you reveal the letter part of Myungsoo saying sorry to her and telling her that he love her. The dream was slightly confusing, was the whole scene of Myungsoo singing in the stage part of the dream? You could clearly separate that part to not confuse readers but overall the ending was satisfying. 

 

 

Language: (18/20)

As mentioned, I really like your writing style and the way you wrote this particular story. Even knowing the plot and the ending, I couldn't help but want to read till the end because of how you wrote the story. Just a few typos and mistakes shown below, other than that, try to proofread your story. It's because sometimes the tenses get mixed up, if it's happening in the present, write it in present tense.

Mistakes/typo:

-I even gave up on my sleep time last night reading and reading through all my books, my notes… but still, my brain is failing me.
(I even gave up sleeping last night to read through all of my books and my notes repeatedly… but still, my brain isn't working for me.)
 
 
-I will just go home and make myself happy, preparing my mental to get the usual E or F for the upcoming test. 
(I will just go home and make myself happy, preparing to get the usual E or F for the upcoming test.)
 
 
"You didn't even solve a question by your own."
("You didn't even manage to solve a question by your own.")
 
 
-I'm not as smart as him after all!
(I'm not as smart as him after all.
or
After all, I'm not as smart as him!)
[The exclamation mark sounded redundant. Try rephrasing it or using a period instead.]
 
-That guy’s a stunner, no doubt over that.
(That guy’s a stunner, no doubt about that.)
 
 
-You’re right though… Kim Myungsoo sunbaenim is verryyy different. He’s very… perfect!
(You’re right though… Kim Myungsoo sunbaenim is indeed handsome. He is… perfect!)
 
 
-“I wonder if he has a boyfriend already…” Jinhee girl wanders out loud while opening her door.
(“I wonder if he has a girlfriend already…” Jinhee girl wanders out loud while opening the door.)
 
-Ah. By the way; yes, dear my juniors… Kim Myungsoo is unfortunately, not available anymore.
(Ah. By the way; yes, my dear juniors… Kim Myungsoo is unfortunately, not available anymore.)
 
 
-"I'm okay, I'm okay" he immediately takes a few sheets of tissue from his backpack.
("I'm okay, I'm okay," he immediately takes a few sheets of tissue from his backpack.)
 [Missing punctuation]
 
 
-"You should go to the hospital, you know... Don't be so stubborn," I sighed. 
("You should go to the hospital, you know... Don't be so stubborn," I sigh.)
 [Write consistently in present tense.] 
 
 
-I want to let him know how much he upset me by not giving any words before and when he’s gone.
(I want to let him know how much he upsets me by not telling me anything before disappearing so suddenly.) 
 
 
-Can you imagine how much I worried about him?
(Can you imagined how worried I was?)
[Must in past tense because you're talking about how much you worry about him last time.]
 
 
-I sighed.
(I sigh.)
[Must in present tense again because you sigh there and then, not in the past]
 
 
-I dream about him again.
(I dreamt about him again.)
 [Not sure if the dreaming is present or past tense in terms of your story, but I believe it should be past tense because she dreamt it already right?]
 
 

Characterization: (6/10)

The characters was explained enough but it wasn't detailed or memorable. I love how you start the story by describing their relationship together and about how much the OC hated and was weak in Maths. From that beginning scene, I could already feel that they're both a couple, a cute couple! However, after that, there was barely anything else about both characters. Woohyun appeared too suddenly as well but that isn't the main point. I really like how you added 'HIS' which is Myungsoo point of view in the story near the end because I was dying to know what happened to him and how was he coping when he disappeared etc but it wasn't enough. You should write longer for 'HIS' to express his characteristic to the readers. The OC girl character was rather vague as well. If you would to write the story longer with more details, it would really helped in his segment. 

 

Flow: (5/10)

The flow of the story was overall alright but there was a few couple parts where it gets confusing. For example, how long did Myungsoo disappeared for because there's information about a week of disappearance but there's also explanation of 'November'. (He also ditched school a lot since November.)It was confusing because the time span wasn't specific and it gets pretty confusing as to exactly how long did he disappeared for.  The pace of the story was great, it wasn't't too fast and you didn't rushed the ending so that's good!

 

Overall Enjoyment: (7/10)

Despite a lot of missing information of the story, I actually enjoyed how you wrote this cliche and overused plot. I enjoyed myself so much that I couldn't stop reading all till the end! Usually long one-shots tend to get draggy but yours wasn't, I was hoping it could be longer instead. Great job in writing this! 

 

Grand Total: (66/100)

 

 

A/N:

Thank you for requesting and letting me read your story! All the best in your other stories, you write well, just sometimes you forgot to add in more details. Otherwise, great job!

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Comments

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tsukkinoko
#1
Chapter 1: there should totally be a sequel.
almostlatee #2
Chapter 1: This made me cryT^T...
mrskimmyungsoo
#3
Chapter 1: oh my god why did i read this omg kymughnnddso
akared #4
Chapter 1: he died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love your story, though it quite sad....
Danieea #5
Chapter 1: you made me cry author-nim TT it was daebak
viweivi
#6
Chapter 1: TT_TT i love it so much
Pls make a sequel :(
I don't know wut to say...
vannythatsme
#7
Chapter 1: I'm crying..omo...*sigh*
kimmyungsooandhyomin
#8
Chapter 1: im at my annual dinner. when i read this fanfics, my eyes got teary and people ask me why im crying..
i really like, no i LOVE it!!!
loopsided
#9
YAAYYYY ;D
houkigumo
#10
XD This was the first story that caught my eyes. So yeah~ I'll be waiting you to update. ^^