00:00:30

just give me a minute

"You ing-"

"Let me explain-"

"No!" Jessica spat, "This is not going to be another round of excuses-excuses-excuses. DId the shooting running over time again? Another dinner with the director? Publicity event?'

Heechul opened his mouth, but Jessica shot him down with a glare that melted any words he had planned. "You can have friends. Hell, I don't even care if you wanna skip a date to hang out with them because god knows, there's some days I wanna do the same. But do not lie to me so you can hang out at bars all night. You know what's missing from this relationship? Come back when you figure it out."

Tossing her newly-dyed chestnut locks over a shoulder, she slamed her aparment door in his face.

Drinking really isn't her thing, but after a successful runway, there really wasn't much choice about celebrating. The club in Seoul, complete with a balding bouncer and a flashy, gold-plated entrance, had been completely overwhelming the first time she came, but by now, it was just the same old- dimly lit seating, psychedelic dancefloor, and a bartender that knew she only drank alcohol when making stupid decisions.

It was rowdy tonight- the twenty-some models added to the fray don't help with the crowding and word is that the cast of some movie is in the fray as well.

Jessica glanced around for Yoona, but she seemed to have disappeared. She scanned through the room, brow furrowed, until spotting Yoona slinking up to some man in a gray button down. Another woman sat at his side, looking up at him throuh her eyelashes, not that it would faze Yoona, who had a competitive streak longer than a catwalk. The man in question is attractive enough, with black bangs and an easy smile and eyes nice enough to fall into. But man- aren't really her type, she snorts. That's Yoona's territory.

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pinboo #1
Hello, here's your goody bag for joining my TMaF semi-contest! Thank you!

Plot: Though the plot is not exactly unique or something (on one hand, of course this is understandable, considering this is a snippets of Heesica's relationship rather than a full-fledged story), I do find myself enjoying the flow of the drabbles. With limited amount of scenes, you actually manage to write an interesting intake of their story. Inevitably, given that your entry is drabbles, there are some 'choppy' parts (how they actually started going out together and all), but there are some indications and implications to let the readers not getting too lost in the story.

I also like the 'reality' and 'what if' concept that you tried to incorporate into the story. However, at certain chapters, I do not exactly see the connection of the two sequences –and up until chapter four, they seem to be leading to a completely different story. Again, at one hand, of course, reality and non-reality are different. The first two chapters, however, manage to have somewhat connection between the reality and what-if part. The last two chapters, I am a bit confused to the connection.
pinboo #2
Characters: I like the fact that both Heechul and Jessica act and react the way I expect a real human would. Sure, there is still inevitable exaggeration –but still to a tolerable extent and in fact, it's kind of an essential streak to a story.

There are definitely some charm to both Heechul and Jessica's characters, although, still, I think there's a lack of real depth in their characterization. The way they are characterized is like most characterizations in this type of drabbles (the wit, the cynical viewpoint, etc). What I meant to say, is that they stand out as a character and they are charming and quite likeable at that as well, but there's still something quite stereotypical and not dug well enough. The characterization is far from being bad, of course, but I think it could have been elaborated and exploited more.


Style: I love everything about your style. It's entertaining, the dialogue is witty, and the narrative style itself is engaging and enjoyable. The lines are effective and beautiful. Ah, I do not exactly know how to express it, but the lines and sentences are simply fun to read and to follow. It also does fit with the whole nuance and atmosphere of the plot. . I also like the combination and variety of style you display in your reality and what-if part. So, great job on the stylistic –you totally got me here.
pinboo #3
Suggestion:
• While I understand that the entry is drabble, I think there are some parts of the plot and the progress of Heechul and Jessica's relationship that could have been conveyed/included in the drabbles. Particularly, between chapter 2 and chapter 3, where I think the story link is kinda missing.
• Dig Heechul and Jessica's characters more.

Favorite Parts:
• I did say it, and I'm going to say it again, I just plainly am in love with your writing style!
• I cannot exactly quote my favorite lines out of this fic, because there are just numerous lines that I am just so in love with!
• I think the nature of Heechul and Jessica's relationship in this fic is uberly cute and totally shippable.
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