00:00:20

just give me a minute

She catches Heechul again after dropping off his durty suit, just as she was about the step out of what must be the only dry cleaner in this small Italian that could handle high-end brands

'What were you doing here?" Jesscia spat, glaring at her drying cleaning ticket as if it were the paper's fault for putting her in the man's presence again.

"Sometimes I like to pick up my own laundry," answered Heechul, rolling his eyes. (She had discovered his name in the toneless letter from his secretary demanding his suit be dry-cleaned. No wonder he had seemed vaguely familiar: he starred in a number of those highly-rated, award winning, and utterly boring artsy-fartsy movies, and was apparently a high school friend of Donghae's. She sent a complaint back clamoring for her McQueen dress to be cleaned- it was so Heechul's fault that her champagne spilled- and surprisingly, he agreed to it. Thank goodness because her career hadn't picked up enough for whatever it would cost to get that gown cleaned new. At least men's suits were generic enough that even Armani was in her price range.) "Let the public know I'm a normal person, or so my publicist tells me- as if I'm just an ordinary person, by any standards."

He pauses.

"And I assume you're doing the same? Letting the magazines see the new face of Versace out on the streets."

"Not all of us can afford to hire personal slaves yet," Jessica snapped, her eyebrow twitching, "You might as well have hired someone to clean your suit."

"Ahh," Heechul smirked, "but that wouldn't have given me the pleasure of teasing you."

"Well," Jessica opened the door, "you might as well treat mean to coffee while you're here."

Heechul hums, but doesn't respond. As he walks towards the street though, he turns and raises an eyebrow. Jessica can read between the lines to know 

Jessica pretended that her heart didn't skip a beat

Jessica hates how the dry cleaners Krystal gave her directions for happens to be all the way on the other side of town- not that the town is particularly big, since Donghae wanted a "small affair" to remind him of his childhood (Jessica snorts- he had grown up in a mansion with butlers tending to his every need. What Donghae really wanted was just an excuse to run around shirtless without judging media.)

Mostly, she hates her own clumsiness because what model spills juice all over herself without become the laughingstock of the industry. And she wasn't even drunk.

As she steps into the tiny dry cleaner, and the old woman at the front desk gives her a judging glance, she catches a whiff of something sharp and crisp, but attention-grabbing in the most subtle way. It smells really nice, and she wonders who must have just dropped off their laundry.

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pinboo #1
Hello, here's your goody bag for joining my TMaF semi-contest! Thank you!

Plot: Though the plot is not exactly unique or something (on one hand, of course this is understandable, considering this is a snippets of Heesica's relationship rather than a full-fledged story), I do find myself enjoying the flow of the drabbles. With limited amount of scenes, you actually manage to write an interesting intake of their story. Inevitably, given that your entry is drabbles, there are some 'choppy' parts (how they actually started going out together and all), but there are some indications and implications to let the readers not getting too lost in the story.

I also like the 'reality' and 'what if' concept that you tried to incorporate into the story. However, at certain chapters, I do not exactly see the connection of the two sequences –and up until chapter four, they seem to be leading to a completely different story. Again, at one hand, of course, reality and non-reality are different. The first two chapters, however, manage to have somewhat connection between the reality and what-if part. The last two chapters, I am a bit confused to the connection.
pinboo #2
Characters: I like the fact that both Heechul and Jessica act and react the way I expect a real human would. Sure, there is still inevitable exaggeration –but still to a tolerable extent and in fact, it's kind of an essential streak to a story.

There are definitely some charm to both Heechul and Jessica's characters, although, still, I think there's a lack of real depth in their characterization. The way they are characterized is like most characterizations in this type of drabbles (the wit, the cynical viewpoint, etc). What I meant to say, is that they stand out as a character and they are charming and quite likeable at that as well, but there's still something quite stereotypical and not dug well enough. The characterization is far from being bad, of course, but I think it could have been elaborated and exploited more.


Style: I love everything about your style. It's entertaining, the dialogue is witty, and the narrative style itself is engaging and enjoyable. The lines are effective and beautiful. Ah, I do not exactly know how to express it, but the lines and sentences are simply fun to read and to follow. It also does fit with the whole nuance and atmosphere of the plot. . I also like the combination and variety of style you display in your reality and what-if part. So, great job on the stylistic –you totally got me here.
pinboo #3
Suggestion:
• While I understand that the entry is drabble, I think there are some parts of the plot and the progress of Heechul and Jessica's relationship that could have been conveyed/included in the drabbles. Particularly, between chapter 2 and chapter 3, where I think the story link is kinda missing.
• Dig Heechul and Jessica's characters more.

Favorite Parts:
• I did say it, and I'm going to say it again, I just plainly am in love with your writing style!
• I cannot exactly quote my favorite lines out of this fic, because there are just numerous lines that I am just so in love with!
• I think the nature of Heechul and Jessica's relationship in this fic is uberly cute and totally shippable.
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