Nao's POV

Memories started to come back to me. It went back to a certain time that changed my life. I remember it clearly that it was Monday. It was supposed to be math class but it got changed with homeroom class. Kira sensei said something about someone from France? Maybe, I don’t remember.

 

The next thing I knew is that he was introducing a foreigner to us, her name was Clary, Clary Cassidy. She was from France. That was the day I first knew about her. But after homeroom, boys and girls started to gather around her. They were very enthusiastic with the French girl.

 

The others who were not interested in her said that maybe it was because she was pretty; she had long brown curly hair, her eyes were blue, and complete with her perfect posture. I wasn’t really interested in her too. So, the rest of the day was fine but it took a long time for me to reach my house.

 

The next day, I barely stepped into the school building and there was a girl calling my name. I forgot her name, oh, it was Naomi, Naomi Kurobuchi. She said that she wanted to talk to me, I said that I was on my way to class and that I was currently busy. So I left her alone back then. Then I recently noticed that many girls have been approaching me for the past days, but I don’t really noticed.

 

Another girl confessed to me, but I rejected her. Her name was Sachi, Kiriyama Sachi. I admit that she was pretty, but I can’t accept her feelings, I can’t understand girls anymore. Maybe it was because my past.

 

Back in middle school, there was this pretty girl in my class; her name was Asuna, Yuuki Asuna. We were childhood friends, we were in good terms until what people called ‘puberty’ reaches us. She was starting to look prettier than ever. She considers me as a childhood friend, she even made me a nickname, so I did too, and I called her Na-chan. She was getting closer and closer to me, and I was so stupid back then, the feeling called ‘love’ grew in me because of her.

 

I didn’t know what she was thinking about me back then, and I’m not the type who lets out one’s feelings so open-mindedly. I didn’t want to make mistakes, so I took it slowly, hoping that she would wait for me. I don’t want to lose her. But, my nightmare came; I realized she didn’t love me back. I didn’t confess to her, she just told me that she had a boyfriend. And to my surprise, her boyfriend was my best friend; Kazuto, Kirigaya Kazuto.

 

I felt heartbroken, but I hid it in me. I congratulate them, and hope that I would forget about her. Being the gentleman I am, I told Kazuto that I was in love with her before she was with him. He apologized to me, and said “Love just went to ones heart, it can’t be avoided,” And I said that it was nothing to worry about. Gladly, we became best friends until now. Asuna didn’t go to the same high school as us, so I’m a little relaxed.

 

And because of that, I promised to myself that I wouldn’t get tangled in things called ‘love’ and ‘girls’. So maybe that’s why I’m not good at handling girls. But one day, I realized somebody was looking at me throughout the whole class. But when I looked back, nobody was actually looking at me. The guy behind me, Hyoku, was sleeping. The girl beside me, Chihaya, was taking notes. And the girl who sits next to Hyoku, the transfer student, was so into her book that I can’t even see her face.

 

And suddenly the math teacher told me that I should take the attendance book and agendas from the teacher room, and he said to take Clary with me. When we were talking, she tried talking to me, but of course it was a waste of time. I grabbed the attendance book and she took the agendas, I said, “Let me take that one, it’s heavy,”

 

“No, it’s okay, I can at least handle things like this,” she replied

 

But when we were walking, she dropped the agendas because she tripped over the broken tile. I helped her gather the books and let her take the attendance book instead of the agendas. She blushed and thanked me, we walked down to the class and she still tried to talk to me, we were about to reach the class and she said to me, “Oh Nao, I give up talking to you,”

 

I looked at her and smiled, “No girls have given up on me, you’re a weird one.” I said as I walked into the class. Clary was behind me with her cheeks red. She’s kinda cute, wait, stop!

 

Because we took the long way back to class, the math teacher got furious he told me and Clary to fill the attendance book after class and collect it to him. Oh here goes my precious after school time. After school, me and Clary stayed in class, she was still trying to figure out what to do with the attendance book. I insisted that I should be the one to fill it. But she kept the book for herself.

 

After a couple of minutes, she gave in. I fixed my glasses and started to fill the book. She was staring at the book and then at me, and then at the book, and back at me, and so on. Still filling the book I asked, “What’s wrong? You’re still trying to figure the book out?”

 

She shook her head, “No, I was trying to figure you out,”

 

I almost choked when I heard that, I stayed silent to think of something good to counter attack, but my cheeks started to burn. “So you haven’t given up in talking to me?”

 

She shook her head again and she tried to look at my face, I hid my face as best as I could but I can’t hide the red on my cheeks very well. Good thing Clary is a dense girl, she didn’t notice it. The next thing I knew, we were talking long enough that I already finished the attendance book minutes before our conversation was over. She stood up and took the attendance book and told me that she was going to give it to the teacher herself and apologize for taking the long road.

 

I stayed at my seat and tried to think of something that I could do for her, returning the favor. Maybe I should take her home? Then I heard a familiar voice calling my name, it was Asuna. I stood up and she ran at me, she hugged me like I was a teddy bear. A huge one. “What are you doing here Na-chan?”

 

“I’m visiting my childhood friend, can’t I Na-kun?” she smiled at me

 

I smiled and hugged her back, when I lifted my head I saw Clary was at the doorframe. I released my hug and Asuna turned and asked, “Oh, sorry, are you Nao’s girlfriend?”

 

Clary blushed in panic, and I hurriedly said, “No, she’s not. She’s just a friend,”

 

Asuna nodded and I asked for her real intention, “What are you really doing here Na-Chan?”

 

“You caught me red handed Na-kun, I have a date with Kazuto-kun, I’m here to pick him up,” she cheerfully said

 

I laughed at her and said, “Isn’t it supposed to be the guy who picks the girl up?”

 

We then laughed as Asuna said her goodbye. I waved at her and went back to my seat and looked at Clary who was still picking up her books. I walked over to her and smiled, “Hey, I’ll take you home today, I wouldn’t let a girl like you went home by herself.”

 

She turned at me and asked if it was okay, I nodded and we went home together. On our way to her house, she asked me, “So, was that your girlfriend?”

 

“No, she’s my best friend’s girlfriend and also my childhood friend,”

 

Her face was in shock and she asked again, “But, you were hugging her?”

 

“Childhood friend,” I said

 

“But your eyes were different when you were looking at other girls and at her,” she said,

 

“Maybe, maybe it was because I loved her once?” I said to her

 

Her face suddenly turned gloomy, why is it like that? I don’t know. She asked me, “So you got rejected huh? I pity you.”

 

“Yeah, why am I saying this to a stranger?” I asked to myself

 

She grinned at me and said, “You said I was your friend, and I can help you in any way,” she said to me, I smiled at her and nodded. It’s been awhile that I felt feelings like that. But the time was short, we already arrived at her house, so we bid our goodbye.

 

The very next day, I was about to go home after school but I got blocked by this girl in front of me, it was Naomi. She insisted that she wanted to talk to me; I said that I’m going home and I don’t have the time. I walked down the corridor and I was about to walk down the stairs, but Naomi was yelling at me and she grabbed my right hand, to my bad luck it twirled me like I was a ballerina. Missing my footsteps I fell down the stairs.

 

Waking up, I was inside the hospital. My best friend Kazuto and his girlfriend Asuna were right beside me. I asked what happened and they explained everything, I hit my head when I fell down the stairs. That’s another reason why I quiet don’t like girls, they’re fierce. I broke my left leg and hit my head, so I spent my three months here in the hospital.

 

But, I always look forward to the next day, because I always have a friend who’s looking out for me. It was Clary; she would always be there right beside me. The first day she knew I was in the hospital, she barged into my room while I was changing. And once, she brought my classmates with her to say ‘get well soon’ or ‘do your best’ or ‘we’ll be waiting for you’. She was really a lifesaver. I’m glad to have a friend like her. I don’t want to lose her

 

When I checked out of the hospital, I went back to my daily life. Kazuto would help me to walk around the school. My grades? I’m still the first one because of Clary who brought her notes for me. I’m very glad to have nice friends, I don’t need anything else.

 

One day, I was walking down the stairs of my crime scene and I saw Naomi who was taking the stairs. When she looked up and saw my face she hurriedly bowed and apologized. I said that it was fine and I warned her not to do that to anyone ever again. She chuckled as she helped me walked down the stairs. We talked until I reached my locker; she excuses herself and said that because she had something to do. I put on my shoes and was about to go home, but Clary blocked me as she said that she needed to talk to me. She took me to the back of the school.

 

“Nao, there is something I want to talk about between us,” she said

 

I had the feeling called worry, what’s going to happen after this?

 

“I like you Nao, I like you since the first day I saw you, will you be my boyfriend?” she asked as her cheeks started to blush

 

I stood there in shock; I never realized that it would happen, what am I going to do? I don’t want to lose her, and I don’t want to ruin this relationship of ours. I’m not quiet ready to be in a serious relationship. I’m afraid that once I come to like her, I would lose her. Just when I lose Asuna.

 

I looked at the flowerbed beside me and I sighed, I can’t do this

 

“I’m sorry, I consider you as my friend, nothing more nothing less. I’m so-“ I was about to continue but the girl in front of me cut me off

 

“That’s okay, I know it would be like this, I just want to give it a try,” she said

 

I lifted my head as I saw her face, she was crying. But she smiled, I was at lost of words. She thanked me and she ran away while covering her face. What was I supposed to do, I was already getting used to rejecting, but she was a different case.  She was the second girl that was able to make me feel alive, that was able to made me feel that I was needed. She’s a different girl

 

The next day, I was hoping things would go like how it used to be. But it worsens, I tried to talk to Clary, but she would always make excuses and left me alone. Again, I was left alone without anyone close to me. Since Clary was gone, I felt like half of my life was taken away. I want to talk about it with someone, but because I was a loner, I only had Kazuto to talk with. But at that time he was on a family trip to USA.

 

Every time I tried talking to her, she would always avoid me. What did I do wrong? What did I do to make her avoid me? I’m always asking that to myself. I wish I could tell her that I’m sorry, sorry if I made a mistake. I would want to apologize back then, but I only realized it now that I made a terrible mistake.

 

Again I tried talking to her, but again she would always avoid me. Why was I like this? Why was I working so hard to get her attention? What made me change? I was always asking that to myself

 

When Kazuto took me to a small restaurant, we heard two girls gossiping. They were gossiping something that back then I didn’t want to know. But I accidentally heard them.

 

“Are you really sure, Chizuru?” said by the other girl

 

“I’m positive! I bet Naomi’s really heartbroken right now, Nao-kun was really badly injured.” Said by the girl called Chizuru

 

“You bet you’re right Chizu, it’s much more easier without Naomi around, I wish she would just die,”

 

“Don’t say that Megumi, we should just kill her just to make sure,” said by the girl named Chizu

 

“Haha, no, let’s just hurt her so bad until she go into the hospital like how she made Nao-kun,” the girl called Megumi said

 

“Let’s just push her down the stairs tomorrow,”

 

“Yeah, lets! It’ll be fun,” she laughed so hard

 

“Sshh, somebody will hear you Megumi!” Chizuru said

 

I was able to hear just that, because Kazuto and me were finished. I accidentally made a loud noise, and when the girls turned, their faces were in shock. I pretended I heard nothing and walked innocently past them. Naomi, just hope that they wouldn’t hurt you

 

The next day, I tried talking to Clary again but it was no use. When it was time to go home, I was at my locker when I forgot my jacket in my class. When I was about to climb up the stairs, I saw Naomi walking down. I was about to greet her but the girls behind her pushed her. “NAOMI!” I screamed as my arms reaches out for her. She fell down on top of me, people were murmuring around us, and after that I remembered it turned black.

 

When I woke up, I realized I was inside the nurse’s office. I was lying down; when I turned to my right I saw a figure of a girl’s back serving tea. My vision was still a blur, Clary? But it wasn’t her, it was Naomi.

 

“Nao-kun? You’re finally awake! Please drink this, it’ll help you get your strength back,” She said as she gave me the drink

 

“Oh, thank you Naomi-san.” I thanked her and drank my drink. She was still sitting beside me waiting for me to finish. Her face was full of worry; I’m kind of concerned. I asked her what was wrong, she didn’t answered. But instead, she cried

 

“Naomi-san, what are you crying for?”

 

“I’m sorry Nao-kun, because of me you got injured, I’m sorry,” She cried very hardly. I said to her that it was okay and I said that it’s not a problem. I explained to her about the situation yesterday and it seems that she understands. I fixed my hair and I wore my glasses.

 

“Nao-kun, I’m glad you’re okay,” Naomi said, “On the day that you fell down the stairs because of me, I didn’t knew what to do. When you got transferred to the hospital, I wanted to take a look at you but I was scared that you might come to hate me.”

 

She sighed as her eyes started to get all teary. “I was afraid that I would lose someone special like you, but I was disappointed at myself for not taking a look at you when you were hospitalized,”

 

When I heard that, I felt something in my heart that began to tell me something. My mind was not full of Naomi, but it was somebody else. I realized Naomi and I was in the same situation; we didn’t want to lose the one we loved.

 

“I like you, Nao-kun. I want to be the one who take care of you in the future. But, I don’t need your acceptance, because I would only feel guilty for taking advantage,” she confessed to me, in a very different way. Her eyes were teary, her confession made me realize of one thing. I realized I was in love, but not with Naomi, but it was Clary. All of the times we spent together, it all started like a flashback. It’s like a flashback inside my own flashback.

 

I smiled, I hugged her and said, “Then I don’t have to say I’m sorry, because I like another person,” I released my hug and she smiled at me and nodded and said that it was okay. Naomi was trying to find another one, and I was trying to reach Clary. But back then; I didn’t realize that there was someone watching us from the outside.

 

Days after that, I started to think of a strategy. I didn’t want to waste time so I hurriedly think one. But after school, I heard girls were talking about Clary, being the type of guy who wanted to know about something, I eavesdropped them. And bad luck started to fall upon me, they were saying that Clary had a boyfriend; his name was Leo, Kiriyama Leo.

 

My heart broke, my jaws dropped, my mind started to go crazy. No, no, this was not supposed to happen. I tried to calm myself down, but it was too late. My feet were already walking down the corridor and towards my class. I went in and as I suspected, Clary was still in there tidying up her bags. She’s always late

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, if you need the class for your own then I’ll go,” Clary said

 

I was still standing in front of the chalkboard, waiting for her to walk beside me. And when she was right there, close enough for me to grab her, I left her alone. But I managed to ask; “Leo’s your boyfriend now?”

 

She stopped, she turned, she smiled, and she finally said, “No, he’s not. We’re just friends, girls started those rumors, they’re jealous because he is my cousin,”

 

I felt kind of relieved, but it still can’t get my uneasiness away. I realized I asked that question was because I was jealous, and I was jealous because I fell in love with her. I promised you Asuna that I would find someone better, and I did. Time was going slowly, I realized that if I don’t do it right now, it would all be too late. I turned to her and I called her, “Clary, I want to talk to you, at least now you’re not busy,”

 

She didn’t even turned my way and then she said, “Sorry Nao, I have an appointment to attend,” she almost walked away from me, gladly I stopped her as my hand was already holding her hand. I felt her rejection tingling from her body. “I like you, Clary,”

 

I finally done it, I was able to say to Clary that I like her. I hope she would accept my feelings, because now our feelings are the same. At least, that’s what I thought. She forcefully released my grip, her face was full of expressions; ashamed, angry, worry, sad, relieved. I don’t know, she’s hard to guess. “I can’t accept your feelings, Nao.” She rejected me

 

I was rejected, that was the first time I got rejected. I was in shock, but I continued the conversation, “Why is that so?”

 

“Because all of this is just a game for you,” she said as she walked away from me again.

 

I was angry; I was in pain to know that she knew nothing about me. This is a game? It surely is not an easy one. Since when was all of that was a game, it’s hard enough to talk to her, and now she’s telling me that I’m taking her like a game? How rude. I was angry, I ran to her and I grabbed her hand.

 

“Why Clary? Why are you avoiding me?” I asked her, as my tone was getting higher.

 

She whispered, “Stop,” She tried hard enough to release my grip. But I was stronger. “I’m not going to stop!”

 

“Stop,” she whispered again, but her voice was about to break.

 

“Answer me!” I was able to yell at her, and I was able to hold both of her hands that time

 

“Stop it!” she screamed back at me

 

I was in shock, of course. I never heard her scream furiously at me, her bangs were hiding her face; and I wasn’t able to see her face clearly that time. I didn’t know what to do; my hands were still holding her arms. I heard her sobbing

 

“Why are you crying?” I asked, my voice was stuttering

 

“You’re only playing games with me…” she started to cry

 

“I’m not Clary, I love you!” I cried those words that I intended to keep for the future, but I didn’t stand it, I’m sick to hear her say those things, I just wanted her to know that my feelings were true

 

“Stop lying! I saw you with Naomi! I saw you hugging her! I saw you being happy with her!” she cried out loud as she was crying

 

Again, I was in shock. She was watching me? I didn’t know. What was I supposed to do back then, I didn’t know she was watching me, and I wasn’t happy because of Naomi. I was happy because I was finally able to know what was important to me

 

“You never showed that kind of face to me, even though I was your best friend! I felt betrayed so that’s why I avoided you,” she finally confessed, “I knew you were going to reject me, and I already had planned how to make you like me, but I was too shock about your rejection so I avoided you for a few weeks. But when I heard you fell down the stairs again…”

 

“That’s when you saw…” I murmured as my hands started to release her arms, my brain was in chaos. My whole life was right in front of me, but I felt so far away from her. My heart wouldn’t believe it, like how I believed in Bigfoot. This case was much more unreasonable

 

“Just leave me alone,” she said slowly as she started to walk away wiping off her tears. I would’ve stopped her, but my mind was stopping my feet from walking to her.

 

I heard her footsteps slowly weakened. The girl I’ve been looking for is walking away from me. The girl I’ve promised to protect is walking alone. The girl I’ve promised to love forever is now slowly walking away from my life. That girl is going away from me for forever, I hope not

 

I was so in to my depression I didn’t realized I had been standing there for almost thirty minutes. I realized it wasn’t too late for me to get things straight. Without any hesitation, my feet went running straight towards her house.

 

I ran outside the school, until my glasses were about to fall. I ran across the school’s garden, and a bug hit my glasses. I ran across buildings, until I only saw their lights shining. I waited for the traffic lights, like I was waiting for spring flowers to bloom. I ran towards her destination, like a lion catching its prey

 

I saw her; I saw her walking down the street. My heart was throbbing fast, I finally found her. My feet moved by itself, even though I was really exhausted. My eyes were glued to her, even though I was about to cry. My throat was about to scream but instead, I whispered

 

I was caught in traffic lights; the light was red, no pedestrians were supposed to cross. But, she was almost out of my reach. I screamed, I was finally able to scream, “Clary! I love you!”

 

My eyes weren’t able to handle it. My tears almost fell down from my eyes, but before that happened, I found myself running towards her, with the light still red

 

Oh, my flashback ended