“You moved to Jinnie’s apartment?!”

“Yep!” Eric was beaming proudly when he answered that, as if he had done something very smart.

On the other hand, Junjin stood rigid and closed his eyes in agony the moment he heard Hyesung shrieked from his apartment. He tried to recall any prayer he knew, because he could sense that his end was nearing. He knew that his hyung would kill him in any minutes now. Last night, when he invited Eric to stay with him in his apartment, it seemed like a good idea. But this morning, Junjin realized how dangerous that idea was. Junjin didn’t dare to peek on what happened on his hyung’s front door, he only leaned on his own door and waited.

Still standing silently, he listened to Hyesung’s next question. “But why? And how?” Unlike before, Hyesung asked in a voice that was more flabbergasted rather than enraged.

“May we talk inside? While eating this as breakfast maybe?” Eric lifted the baking dish on his hands and smiled expectantly and made Hyesung wants to faint because of that. Is this man always this careless?

“Jin-ah!” Hyesung shouted and made Junjin jumped in surprise inside his own apartment.

Junjin understandably tensed after he heard that. He prayed one more time before braced himself for the worst. Here we go, finally the time has come. He timidly stepped out from his hiding place and walked to his hyung’s apartment.

During those short minute, Hyesung’s mind went on 100km/hours when some realization came. Junjin, this bastard! He cursed silently. Last night, Hyesung thought he had heard Junjin’s voice when he went home. Last night, Hyesung had heard a faint sound of Junjin opened his front door and believed he had heard Junjin said “Come in, but it’s nothing much”. 

At that time, Hyesung thought Junjin brought a girl home! Hyesung thought, the reason why Junjin lied to him that afternoon was because Junjin had a date! And now what? Turned out, the person Junjin brought home last night was Eric?!

“Yah! You!” Hyesung didn’t wait to shout when he saw Junjin came nearer.

“Let me explain!” Junjin spontaneously exclaimed and walked slowly not to make a close distance to his disturbed hyung – just in case that Hyesung suddenly jumped and charged him, he would have enough time to run away. In his head, he blamed Eric’s haste approach – very very much. Didn’t he know that Hyesung Hyung was always in his monstrous mood in the morning? Why he had to wake him up so early in the morning and gave the news so suddenly like that?

And now Junjin could be dead because of Eric’s ignorance.

Hyesung gripped his door in anxious but succeeded to stop any more shout escaped. He glared dangerously at Junjin and people should see it by themselves to believe – how a skinny pretty guy easily caused a bigger, taller and stronger-looking guy shrunk off only by a single glare. Junjin shoulders now were slouched sluggishly on his side and he was pouting. No one would believe there’s a 34 years old man behind the pout.

“Hyesung-ah, can we talk inside? Maybe we can have breakfast together?” Eric suddenly suggested – in hope that he could ease the awkwardness.

“Yeah Hyung, can we talk about this inside?” Junjin bit the bait Eric threw almost immediately.

“No. Explain first.” Hyesung said stubbornly.

What the hell Eric said to him that made Junjin supported him like that?

Last night, Hyesung drained all of his energy trying to find the answer of that question. As he tossed and his bed in the dark, he couldn’t stop wondering about what Eric possibly said to Junjin. Hyesung knew Junjin since college, so he knew very well that Junjin was far worse than him when it comes to have suspicion in everything. Junjin himself stated that there’s no way he could trust someone he just met. Hell, Junjin was about to fight Eric because of the noodles! But then, Eric only needed one hour talking to him and suddenly Junjin trusts him?

Eric must have been said something really impressive and awe-inspiring to him.

But said what?

 “Last night I asked Junjin whether he knows a cheap house to rent around here, because I had been living at the hotel and honestly, it was a bit expensive. I need to get out soon before I’m run out of money. So then, he invited me to stay at his house and we can share the rent bill.” Eric explained rather easily and ended it with a smile.

Hyesung squinted his small eyes and observed Eric’s expression – hoped to catch any quivering or stuttering or some nervous gaze shifting – but for his disappointment, he couldn’t find any of that. To his displeasure, he had to admit that Eric told him the truth. Hyesung then shifted his gaze to Junjin who nodded at him – positively confirmed everything Eric had said as true. Hyesung immediately frowned. Since when these guys became a solid team?

Seriously, Hyesung was so mad before – very mad because someone (or Eric to be precise) disturbed his beauty sleep and then he became angrier because of Junjin – but seeing the bright smile on Eric’s face, he found it hard to keep being angry. He just dumbfounded. But of course, he wouldn’t want to relent on Eric’s persuasion so easily.

“No, I won’t let you two get inside.” 

After said that, Hyesung made a motion of shutting the door. But Eric quickly said, “Hyesung-ah, wait.” Hyesung subconsciously halted and stared back to Eric – as if wanted to challenge at anything Eric might say to him next. “At least, take this. I sincerely made this for you. And I’m sorry for disturbing you.” Eric said while giving the baking dish to Hyesung. “Once again, I’m sorry.” Eric said awkwardly when Hyesung did not move.

Hyesung could only stare at the baking dish and after some seconds of awkward silence, he reluctantly took it from Eric’s hands.

“Even though I never asked for this, thanks.” Hyesung mumbled inaudibly before closing the door. Once inside, he lowered his head and stared blankly at the baking dish in his hands as he leaned back on his door. He wondered, how many hours Eric had spent to make this lasagna? And he also wondered, if he could manage to finish the dish so early in the morning, what time did the man woke up? And Eric was willing to do that for Hyesung?

Hyesung felt some kind of guilt and uneasiness started to surface when he imagined it – Eric woke up at dawn and then cooked for him. And here he was – rudely shutting the door in front of Eric’s face.

“That was smooth.” Hyesung could hear the faint comment of Junjin from behind the door. But he never heard Eric’s respond – maybe because Eric never answered at all.

***

Hyesung had a mission to pull off today. And he needed to visit his parents’ house in order to do that. Yesterday, after Eric knocked on his door and announced that he had moved to Jinnie’s apartment, Hyesung could not think straight. His visions seemed to be blurring all day yesterday because of anxiety. And he hated the uneasiness that occupied his mind since the moment he saw the disappointment on Eric’s eyes that morning. The uneasiness that grew bigger and stuck in his chest like a big lump. And somehow the same uneasiness didn’t get better even when he saw Eric was smiling when they met at the cafeteria yesterday. Because the smile seemed off, he noticed.

He knew that he did offend Eric. He knew that he should apologize to Eric. But he wasn't sure how to.

So on Saturday morning, he willingly spent almost half an hour driving to his parents’ house instead of stayed sleeping at his bed until noon like he usually do on weekend. His gaze was fixed to the road in front of him and he should thank the caffeine inside his black coffee he had this morning to keep him alert during the trip.

Hyesung made a turn into the front yard of his parents’ house. The two stories house was still quiet and Hyesung automatically checked his watch – 7.06 am. Did I come too early? Hyesung asked himself. But he turned off the engine then hurriedly got out of his car anyway. When he rang the bell, he could hear his mother’s voice answered him from inside.

“Yes, coming!” Hyesung involuntarily smiled to hear that voice. “Omoo.. You’re here..” His mother smiled cheerfully when the figure of her oldest son appeared in front of her eyes the second she opened the door.

“Mom.” Hyesung greeted shortly before half-running to hug his mother. He couldn’t help it – in front of other people, he might looked like a strong-willed man but in front of his mother, he was no other than a little kid that never wants to grow up and forever pampered by his mother.

“Seems like you really miss me.” His mother giggled happily as she returned Hyesung’s hug as tight as her tiny frame could. Her son was a lot taller than her, so it looked like she was being enveloped by Hyesung.

“Of course I miss you. Hmm.. I smell something really delicious.”

“Then come here more often, I’ll gladly cook you anything you want. With extra sesame.” His mother giggled even more and Hyesung only smiled to hear that. “But why are you coming so early? Is there anything you need?” His mother asked as she released her son’s embrace.

“Well, kind of. I just need to check something. Mom, where do you keep my photos from elementary school?”

“Photos? From elementary school?” His mother asked back in puzzled. “But why?”

“I’ll tell you later.” Hyesung shook his head lightly even though he was unsure whether to tell her the real reason or not. He just couldn’t tell his mother about Eric. Should I create a fake reason? He thought. “Just tell me where it is and I’ll look for it myself.”

“I keep them at the bookshelves on the second floor.”

“Thank you, Mom.” And after that, he dashed and climbed the stairs before his mother could ask for more.

Hyesung always knew that his overly neat habit was descended from his mother. But of course his mother was in different level from him. As he reached the second floor and find the bookshelf where his mother organized all the family photo albums, he found the shelves were clean and no dust in sight. He even found it a bit pitiful to pull one album out of its stack – as if he would disturb something perfect and serene. But he had to do it – something inside one of these albums was the reason he came here after all. So he sat in front of the bookshelves and took one album randomly before opened it on his lap.

It was the photos from his family’s vacation, taken when he was in junior high. Knew that he wouldn’t find it there, he quickly closed it before taking another album. Took another album – his photos from when he was a baby – he closed it immediately. His brother’s photos – closed. His second year birthday – closed. His photos from when he was in playgroup – closed. Hyesung didn’t realize that the stacks of albums were getting higher beside him, but he hadn’t found what he has been looking for. He kept grabbing the seemingly endless photo albums in front of him, but he kept going.

Until finally, he found it.

At first, he almost missed it. At first, he thought it was the photo of him and his brother. But when he flipped back the page and stared at the two chubby boys who smiled back him through the photo, he knew instantly that he found what he was looking for. Finally, a proof.

It was a photo of two little boys, sitting on his old bed which Hyesung overgrew after he graduated from junior high school. There were comic books scattered on the bed surface while the two boys were looking up and smiling to the camera. Hyesung recognized one face of them – which was himself – but it was the other face that got him stop his breath. It was the face that he never had seen in so many years now, it was the same face that bugged him these past days – it was the face that already grow up into Eric’s face.

“Find what you’re looking for?” Hyesung didn’t realize that his mother already stood behind him. As she asked the question, he jumped on his seat in surprise even though his mother asked him gently.

“Yeah.” Hyesung answered slowly after gather his breath back.

“It’s been years since the last time I saw these photos.” Hyesung’s mother then sat beside him and lovingly caressed the smiling face of Hyesung in the photo. “Omoo.. My son was so adorable.” She beamed proudly as she scanned the photo. “Who is that?” His mother asked as she pointed to a boy who sat beside little Hyesung.

“I guess his name is Eric.” Hyesung mumbled slowly. “Do you remember him?”

His mother smiled a little but shook her head, “No.” She paused a bit before said, “But this photo was taken here in this house. Look, this is the quilt blanket that I made for you.” She pointed to the colorful blanket where the two boys inside the photo sit at. Her forehead then furrowed as if she was thinking hard. “Who’s his name again?”

“Eric.”

“Wait a second.” She tilted her head on the side as she tried to dig her memories. “Is Eric the same boy who used to come here almost every day and played with you until his father’s driver picked him up at the afternoon?”

And right after his mother said that, a piece of memory began ignited inside Hyesung’s head. “That’s right,” he whispered silently to himself. Now that his mother mentioned it, Hyesung could recall one friend that he had had back then. They used to be so close and that friend often came to his house after school. He would have his lunch with Hyesung at Hyesung’s house. Or played together and then took a nap in Hyesung’s bed. And at the afternoon, a driver would come and take him home. Only now Hyesung remembered that the same boy was Eric.

So he did tell me the truth all the time, Hyesung bitterly admitted when the realization came to him. And Hyesung felt the guilt inside his chest was expanding bigger more than before.

“Mom, do you remember why he stopped coming here?” Hyesung whispered as he flipped the page to find another photo of him and Eric eating snack at the backyard.

“I think his parents moved abroad.” His mother answered after few minutes thinking.

“I really had forgotten about that part.” Hyesung mumbled even slower now. But as he said that, now he could remember it, that one day Eric just stopped coming to school anymore and the teacher told the class about Eric and his family had to move because of his father’s job. As a little kid he was, Hyesung remembered he felt sad and lonely for few days, but then he gained new friends and with the laughter then he shared with those new friends, a memory of Eric went buried. And then, slowly forgotten.

“But why are you looking for his photo?” His mother question woke him up from his own thought.

“Oh, it’s because I met him again but couldn’t remember him.” Worse than that, I treated that guy like dirt, he thought. Hyesung then felt the urge to bang his head to the wall because of his rudeness. In his head, now he counted how many times he should apologize to Eric for every mistreatment he gave to him.

“And now you can remember him?”

“Yeah.” Hyesung nodded before smiled bemused. “He is still the same stupid boy he used to be.”

***

Hyesung stayed at his parents’ house until dinner – mostly he spent the time by cuddling near his mother on the couch while his mother watching TV and tried his hardest to avoid any question about who’s he dating right now. But right after the last plate of their dinner had been picked up to the dishwasher, he hurriedly excused himself. He quickly gathered his things and put on his jacket – saying something about having an appointment so he needs to go. He kissed his mother cheek and gave a brief nod to his father before paced to the door.

He stepped in his car and started the engine, but then he didn’t drive it. Instead, he took his phone from his pocket and searched for the number he thought he would never call. Eric’s number.

He calculated for a few seconds, but then he braced himself to just do it. He owed too many apologies to Eric (and he still remembered that he still owed Eric coffee bill from their first encounter) – better to do it as soon as possible. He pressed the contact rather bravely and waited with his heart drummed. Jeez, why I have to be this nervous? He thought as he took a deep breath. He tapped his finger at the steering wheeling and he waited. First ring. Second ring. Third ring.

“Eric?” Hyesung asked right away when the person he called picked up his call.

“Hyesung-ah?” Eric asked in disbelief from the other end. He couldn’t believe it at all. Hyesung was calling him first!

“Yeah, it’s me.” Hyesung muttered shortly and then felt his mouth suddenly very dry. He tried to swallow his saliva just for wetted his choked throat. Should I do this? Or shouldn’t I? He argued inside his head.

Argh, screw this.

“Do you have time tomorrow? Can we meet?”

A/N

I'm really sorry for not updating for too long.. *bow*

I wish I could give you the better reason than writer's block.. but sadly, that was what happened to me.. I had several different scene for this chapter, but couldn't decide which one that I'd use.. So I went writing and deleting this whole chapter, and writing again, and deleting again.. =.=

I hope next chapter won't take this long to update.. *bow*