Hyesung grunted impatiently and glanced at his watch for the umpteenth times already. He grunted even more when he realized not even a minute passed since the last time he checked it. Godammit, where the hell is Junjin? He cursed loudly and couldn’t care less by that– he was alone inside his office anyway.

He recalled the moment Junjin stood up and was about to approach Eric when they had their lunch one hour ago, Hyesung spontaneously got up on his feet too. He ran and tried to stop Junjin by grabbing the younger man’s elbow and half-hissed, “Don’t be ridiculous.” They were in their office now and it was lunch time for God’s sake. Hyesung then nervously looked around and hoped there’s no one noticed how enraged Junjin was right now. Hyesung was seriously afraid that Junjin would get some trouble if he carelessly picked a fight with Eric.

But Junjin – his dongsaeng that always listened to his words almost every time – turned his body immediately and said firmly to him, “I’ll settle things up very cleanly, Hyung.”

Hyesung was taken aback by Junjin’s words, he didn’t realize it when Junjin pried open his hyung’s finger on his elbow. Hyesung only managed to stand awkwardly when Junjin walked straight to the counter, gestured Eric to follow him outside without saying anything and how Eric calmly took off his apron and headband because of Junjin’s silent stare.

Hyesung knew he should run to stop them, but somehow as a man himself, he also believed that interfere the two of them was also not a wiser option. It’s about man’s pride anyway. And it was a very very decisive and serious matter. Hyesung only hoped that they would end their stupidity and childishness with every blow they exchange.

He found himself sat back on his seat but already lost his appetite. He continuously poked his chopsticks at the huge heap of japchae Eric gave him just some minutes ago with no will to actually ate it. Hyesung would never admit it though – that he smiled a bit to remember how weird Eric’s way to show his affection.

But Junjin didn’t come back to cafeteria even when the lunch break ended. Hyesung glanced at the counter and couldn’t spot the tall figure of Eric also. Please, don’t say they’re still fighting by now, Hyesung thought in disbelief. He then expectantly looked around at the almost empty cafeteria but could not find Junjin or Eric. And his over-think habit took the better of him. What if they were unconscious by now? Where the hell were they fighting anyway? Rooftop? Parking Lot? The stairs? Or toilet?

Hyesung then hurriedly checked the stairs and toilet, but found no trace of Junjin or Eric. Unfortunately, he couldn’t check the rooftop and parking lot since he needed to get back to his office. Rather reluctantly, he headed back to his office and sincerely hoped that Junjin was already there.

So when he only found the empty seat on Junjin’s office, Hyesung frowned deeply. He then turned and headed to his office while mentally cursing his dongsaeng. Pride or not, it was very irresponsible to neglect his work like this. He tried to focus on his works but failed miserably – he just could not stop wondering where Junjin might be and frequently checking at the two little arms on his watch.

“I give up. I’ll call this brat.” Hyesung groaned and was about to grab his phone when someone knocked his office door slowly. And then, without waiting for Hyesung’ reply, Junjin opened the door rather timidly.

“Hyung.” Junjin smiled sheepishly and gave his hyung the sorriest face he could manage when he noticed a deep frown on Hyesung’s face. He knew Hyesung was worrying him all the time.

“Yah, you punk!” Hyesung shouted. Then he hurriedly got up from his seat and approached Junjin. Without hesitating whatsoever, he abruptly asked Junjin, “Where the hell were you?”

“Uh, um..”

“Were you guys fighting?” Hyesung’s hands touched and checked Junjin’s cheeks but found no scar or bruise. He observed there’s no cut on his lips or some creases on his shirt. “You seem okay.” Hyesung then stated half-puzzled.

“I told you I’ll settle this very cleanly.” Junjin muttered slowly but somehow Hyesung could sense some guilt and maybe nervousness from Junjin’s voice.

“You didn’t kill him, did you?” Hyesung shrieked in horror.

“No, no, NO! Of course not, Hyung.” Junjin answered abruptly and at the same time waving both of his hands frantically. How on earth his hyung could think nonsense like that! But Hyesung didn’t even have a chance to feel relieved, because suddenly his phone was ringing. He checked the screen – no caller ID, only numbers. He really wanted to reject the call because there were a lot of things he wanted to ask to Junjin right now. But He couldn’t do that – what if it was his client who called him – so halfheartedly Hyesung clicked the green phone icon and wondering who was calling him. With the corner of his eye, he could see Junjin sneakily slipped and then sat on the chair. Hyesung didn’t know why, but he found Junjin’s actions were kind of weird.

“Hello, this is Shin Hyesung speaking.” Hyesung said automatically when the slim device touched his ear. Of all the things he hoped to hear when answering his phone, truthfully what he heard now would be on the end of his list. His body involuntarily went rigid when one over-excited voice spoke his name from the other end.

“Hyesung-ah?”

Hyesung held his breath because he knew immediately who the voice was belong to. It was like someone just poured the top of his head with a huge bucket of iced cold water – very chilling and stupefying from his head to his toe.

A happy chuckle could be heard from the one who called him. “Woah, it’s really your number! I’m so happy now!”

“Eric, how do you manage to get my phone number?”

“Uh um.. One little bird told me.” Eric answered after successfully hid his hesitation in his voice.

Hyesung always believed that he had some sixth sense – especially when he was about to be the object of a prank. And he also believed his hunch was never wrong before. He could sense it on the air and found the possible culprit in no time. So his body was moving by itself when he turned to Junjin and observed the now very nervous dongsaeng. Junjin now ridiculously was busying himself by counting the paper stacks on Hyesung’s desk and avoided his hyung glare in a most suspicious way possible. He coughed a little and clearly seemed very uncomfortable.

Very easy to spot.

“Tell me, does that little bird is tall and laugh too much?” Hyesung asked while still piercing Junjin with his stare. He watched how Junjin became more uncomfortable by the every word Hyesung said.

“Yup, that’s the correct little bird.” Eric said after a little pause.

“Wait a second.” Hyesung said and moved his phone away from his ear. He looked straight to Junjin and as if he could felt the stare, Junjin lifted his gaze to his hyung. He smiled sheepishly, but his hyung only said shortly to him, “Prepare to be murdered.” And with that short sentence, every color that was left on Junjin’s face began disappearing.

Hyesung then went out his office and headed for the empty corner. He took one deep breath before put the device back to his ear. Dammit, why Eric’s voice sounded so fine through the phone!

Focus, Hyesung! He was screaming inside his own head. You can’t get weak because of a mere y voice!

“What do you want?” He was a bit stuttered – only a very bit – when he asked that and tried so hard to make it sounded rude.

“I just want to say hello to you.” Eric answered gleefully and clearly unbothered by the stale welcome on Hyesung’s voice.

Hyesung was torn between amused and frustrated by the blunt Eric, so for a second he didn’t know how to respond. So he only sighed heavily.

“And don’t worry Hyesung-ah, I won’t terrorize you or call you endlessly. Of course I’m going to save this number of you, but I would call you only on emergency.”

Hyesung still couldn’t respond properly.

“And don’t get too angry to Junjin, please. This was totally and entirely my idea. I had to beg and plead for one hour before he finally gave me this number and not forgetting about so many conditions he could come up with.” Eric explained hastily when he felt anxiety crept up his spine because of Hyesung’s silence.

“That brat.” Hyesung hissed.

And Hyesung felt intrigued when he knew he was supposed to get irked by now, but instead he was dumbfounded by Eric’s endurance and persistence. Begging and pleading one hour to Junjin – who is younger than Eric – only to ask for Hyesung’s number?

“Okay, I understand. You’re too mad to even to talk to me. I’ll hang up now. I’m sorry for interrupting you, Hyesung-ah. Good bye.” Eric said again and with that, ended the call.

“Hyung, may I take a ride home with you?” Junjin asked very very timidly that afternoon when it’s the time for them to go home. He was standing on Hyesung’s office door and waited nervously for his hyung’s answer.

After Hyesung was done talking with Eric this noon, he came back to his office and went scarily quiet. And it frightened Junjin to no end. Junjin tried to apologize and absolutely ready to kneel in front of Hyesung if his hyung demands it, but he only received a vague responds, “Let’s talk about this later, Jin-ah.”

So Junjin was caught off guard when he saw Hyesung smiled warmly while collecting all his belongings and putting them inside his backpack. “Of course you may Jin-ah, what a silly question.” Hyesung answered rather casually. “But you will drive.” Hyesung said and at the same time, tossed his car key to Junjin.

Junjin caught it easily and grinned happily, “Anything you want, Hyung.” He was more than relieved to know that he would not be brutally murdered by his hyung today.

Anything seemed normal. Junjin drove and Hyesung sat composedly beside him. They exchanged casual conversations and Junjin carefully tried not to bring out the topic about Eric. Hyesung did exactly the same on their entire trip home. No, he didn’t forget that he still needed an explanation from Junjin. But because he couldn’t decide how he feels right now, so he didn’t dare to do anything – yet.

“I want to order chicken for dinner, want to join me?” Hyesung asked nonchalantly when they reached their building. He might have sounded nonchalant, but Junjin knew that behind that, Hyesung demanded no refusal.

“Yeah.” Junjin nodded.

Hyesung and Junjin went to their own apartment to take a bath and change their clothes. One hour later, Junjin knocked Hyesung’s door and they had their dinner together while watching TV in Hyesung’s living room. Junjin actually counted the minute inside his head while chewing his dinner. How much time left until Hyesung would eventually storm out? He thought.

“Explain.” Hyesung finally said when he was about to finish his dinner and Junjin would swear he felt a thud inside his chest from the shock. Here we go, he thought. Junjin took his glass and gulped the water in one go to ease his nervousness. He knew he needs to speak carefully from now on.

“At first, I actually wanted to tell him to stop ridicule me. But then.. “ Junjin stopped mid sentence.

How he supposed to explain everything? That his rage was vanished the moment Eric began talking to him. If two minutes ago, when he gestured Eric to follow him out the cafeteria, he thought Eric was a childish and annoying weirdo, then right now he witnessed a very different person. No, the man who was standing in front of him was a totally different person. He emitted a charisma that made Junjin thought right away, that he could always rely on and trust this person.

One thing for sure, he lost his appetite to punch Eric. Eric told him a brief history of himself in order to come here just to meet Hyesung and Junjin could only listen in awe. In that one hour passed, Junjin started to believe in Eric. So when Eric asked for Hyesung’s number, he could only say yes. He blamed those huge round eyes of Eric that made Junjin weak though. Junjin then spelled numerous conditions Eric had to obey if he wants Hyesung’s number – which was agreed without protest whatsoever from Eric.

“Then what?” Hyesung asked in confused. “Did he threaten you?”

“No, he didn’t. He’s impossible but I think he’s a great guy. Actually, I think he’s a perfect one for you, Hyung.” Junjin said carefully.

“Park Junjin!” Hyesung shouted and glared dangerously.

“Hyung, listen to me.” Junjin hurriedly said. “Eric Hyung seriously wanted to marry you.”

“Cut the nonsense!” Hyesung snapped without thinking.

“I can’t stay with you forever, Hyung.”

Hyesung froze. His eyes were widened from the shock. How dare Junjin brought up the topic now! Didn’t Junjin know that Hyesung wouldn’t change his mind?

“And I don’t want you live alone.” Junjin continued.

“I will be okay. Even without you, you jerk! I’m more than capable to take care of myself!” Hyesung hissed to cover his stuttering.

“Hyung, you know that I really really like you, right? You always take care of me and treat me grandly. I have two younger sisters at home, so ever since I was a kid I’d always be the one who taking care of my sisters. Not that I complaining, but it feels very nice if sometimes I could drop the responsible. And you do that to me. You take care of me, you cook for me, you help me fix my trouble – hell, you’re the one who fix the mess I caused.” Junjin took breath between his sentences. “But someday I will get married, and I can’t accompany you as much as now.”

“I won’t miss you.” Hyesung said stubbornly even though both of them knew he was lying.

“Okay, but I really want to see you have someone beside you to take care of you.”

“And you think Eric is the perfect candidate for that?” Hyesung asked mockingly.

Junjin nodded. “You said that you can’t marry a girl since you don’t want to make her suffer.”

“I don’t even know him! I don’t even know his real motive!”

“Eric Hyung left his house and his job in States just to meet you, Hyung. Because of the promise you made long ago. I agree he’s extremely crazy but at least he didn’t hesitate.”

“I don’t remember I promised him anything, Jin-ah.” Hyesung said desperately.

“Give him a chance, Hyung. I believe he has no bad intention to you.”   

“That’s exactly what I thought about my ex-boyfriends, but those bastards turn up only play with me.” Hyesung said bitterly.

Now it was Junjin turn to freeze and fell silent.

He knew since very long ago that his hyung was gay. And for all the years he knew Hyesung, he also witnessed the messed up fate Hyesung ever had. Being physically beautiful and has very good manner, Hyesung attracts so many attentions – from both girls and guys. But Hyesung seemed so unlucky in romance because he always stuck with bad guys. All of them only wanted to play with him and had no intention to get serious. In the end, they left Hyesung. And after so many disappointments he experienced (and after the countless soju bottles he finished every time he’s being dumped), Hyesung then decided to give up. He wouldn’t even bother to hope anymore.

”Forget it, Jin-ah. I won’t get married or involved in any relationship anymore. Woman or man, I’m not interested.”