I've never so adored you
I'm twisting allegories now
I want to complicate you
Don't let me do this to myself

Watching his lover, best friend, and lifeline walk away was one of the hardest things he ever had to do, but it was for the best. Or, so Taemin said.

He could agree, in a way. But how was splitting up the band they had spent years building up, touring, and becoming a national sensation, for the best? They could have worked it out, Minho believes.

Perhaps not, though, because the split went further than the claim of 'creative differences'. It went back to when Taemin met her, the year they skyrocketed into the rock scene. When he met her, everything changed.

Every lyric, every chord, every emotion that came from Taemin in their second album was about her. The whole entire thing was bright and bubbly, like her. Although it all was hidden between metaphors and phrases that only the talented and sly Taemin himself could figure out, Minho was able to pick them out eventually. He knew the boy well enough by now.

It just hurt a bit, that he had been pushed aside and replaced so easily. Or, perhaps he had been seeing too much into it all along, and he was nothing but something to pass the time. He was just something for the boy to lean back on, it seemed.

I'm chasing roller coasters
Ive got to have you closer now
Endless romantic stories
You never could control me

Before that girl, Minho had been the one to stand by Taemin's side, caressing and whispering sweet nothings into his ear when things got too stressful for the ringleader of the band. He was there when they auditioned (quite awfully, might he add) for the man, Kim Kibum, that signed them, alone and acoustic because Jinki and Jonghyun couldn't make it due to their own reasons.

He was there when Taemin was stuck, his brain refusing to spit out the lyrics they needed, and his hand refusing to write them. Minho would coax him from his paralyzed state, and Taemin would come willingly. Then they would talk for a bit, drink and smoke, and suddenly Taemin would be up and running again, kissing him and thanking him for the inspiration.

Before the girl, they made love. Secretly and quietly, in bunks in the empty tour buses and in dirty venue dressing rooms whenever they felt extra needy. They even messed around on stage, much to the fans delight. Occasionally, when they got lucky enough to share hotel rooms, there were even whispered confessions of feelings and love on Minho's part.

One particular event that Minho likes to remember is the time they were touring with several other bands, and happened to end up on the coast on the last night of tour. The group decided to head down to the beach, late at night when the moon was high in the sky and shining beautifully, and eventually each went their separate ways.

Of course, Minho had taken the opportunity to steal the lyricist away, and dragged him into the ocean as they stripped down to nothing, cold and bare in the night air. There, they kissed and touched in the darkness, one thing leading to another, hidden in the darkness and by the obliviousness of the others. That night, Taemin whispered that he loved him back, and Minho had thought that maybe, just maybe, it would work out the way they wanted.

But then Taemin's father died, in the middle of their rise to fame, and Minho was there for that, too. It was devastating, despite their past bad relationship due to alcoholism and raising the boy as a single parent, and it left the younger boy a wreck. Minho helped pick up the left over pieces, and slowly but surely put him back together, but it was never the same.

Taemin stopped the kisses and caresses, and the quickies in the tour bus, because it wasn't what his father would have wanted, and he had to make it right, even if he hadn't before the man died. And Minho let him be, because he just wanted Taemin to be alright.

Well I never really thought that you'd come tonight
When the crown hangs heavy on either side
Give me one last kiss while we're far too young to die.

But then she came into the picture, Naeun, and stole the boy's heart. He fell head over heels for her the very first time he saw her dance to their song, preparing for their first huge music show performance. After that, she was invited to the after party, and the rest was history.

They saw each other off an on for two years after that, with Minho scornfully playing the third wheel while the other members payed attention to their own girlfriends. Taemin, still caring for his friend and vocalist, would always invite him out with the couple for drinks. This always ended up with Minho leaving as the two nearly made him physically sick with their overly sweet antics.

She was nice, really, and he was glad Taemin was happy, but then it became too much. She started staying with them while they toured, and Minho knew Taemin was serious about this relationship. Now, whenever Taemin talked to him off stage, it was only about Naeun and how much he loved her. Minho never wished to hear those words about anyone but himself.

Months later, when they're alone in a fancy hotel room, Taemin comes to him with a ring, and he feels himself die inside. But on the outside, he smiles and congratulates the younger, encouraging him to make his move. Naeun would be a fool to say no.

But then, lips are on his, and they're falling towards the bed, and unspeakable things occur that Minho knows he should have stopped. The next morning, Taemin is gone, and he knows he shouldn't have expected anything less. It's Valentine's Day, too, to make it any worse.

He sends one text, stating how he was sorry and that he loves him. He doesn't get a reply.

Hours later, Taemin busts through the door, eyes bloodshot and red from crying. Minho hasn't seen him like this since his father died, and he's worried; scared.

“Tae, I'm sorry, but..” he tries, because he's sure it's about what they did. Suddenly, a cold, solid item hits his face, and when he looks down to see what it is.

The ring.

“She knows. She read the text and she knows. She threw it in my face just like that, and walked away. She isn't coming back.” he spits, coming closer and raising his fists. One collides with Minho's chest, and then the boy's whole face is buried in it.

“S-she left me, because of you.” he sobs, and Minho doesn't know what to do.

Fixation or psychosis?
Devoted to neurosis now
Endless romantic stories
You never could control me

Taemin was right, and Naeun doesn't come back. She doesn't even call, just takes her things and leaves. Things almost fall back to the way they were before, except with more tension and only lust, rather than love.

They stick it out for a year, and in the end the whole band is affected. Taemin eventually grows distant, and takes Jonghyun with him. The two become closer, leaving Minho and Jinki two themselves.

Naturally, differences to occur, and the four of them find themselves in too large of a rut to dig themselves out of.

They also find themselves only talking on stage, smiles and friendly gestures all fake. It's a front, and backstage it's as cold as ice.

One day, Jonghyun and Taemin ask to meet up with the other two, and Minho feels like they might actually get somewhere. Maybe they can make up for what they've lost over the past year.

Wrong.

“We've decided it'd be best to split. We have our own music we want to write, and I'm sure you have yours. It's the only way it'll work, y'know?”

No, Minho doesn't know, but beside him, Jinki stays stone-faced, and Minho follows suit.

And that's it, that's the end of everything they fought so hard to uphold.

Career, friendships, hard work and hard years spent together – all out the window, and no one did anything to stop it.

It was inevitable, anyways, despite how much he wants to deny it.

Thinking back on it now, years later, married to a beautiful wife of his own, he's still as pathetic as he was then. His lyrics to the new albums now? They aren't about his wife. They're about the boy he loved ( and still does) and everything he lost along with him.

Well I never really thought that you'd come tonight
When the crown hangs heavy on either side
Give me one last kiss while we're far too young to die.

A/N: For the ones that read this series and actually know the band that this is based off of, you should recognize this storyline.

I basically just wrote Panic! at the Disco/ Ryden's (/gross sobbing/)  history, played by SHINee. 

But really though.. Ryden feels, man.

brb, crying~