I don't wanna hear you've got a boyfriend
Sometimes you're better off alone
But if you change your mind, you know where I am
Yeah, if you change your mind, you know
Where to find me
'Cause I don't ever wanna be your boyfriend

Minho never expected to have a friends-with-benefits type relationship with the maknae of his group, and he never expected to fall in love with him, either. But as he has come to learn in his short twenty-one years of life, things don't always go as planned.

It wasn't quite unexpected, because it was a known fact that Taemin was going for a more manly and mature look in the following year, but Minho still wasn't quite sure how he felt about the situation he was thrown into. After all, Taemin had always been his, even if not officially, and now the tables were being turned.

With the one he is in love with paired up in a virtual marriage, with not so virtual feelings, it hit like a ton of bricks to his chest. It hurt, seeing Taemin loving another, even if it was mostly scripted and directed by the PD, because he knew from experience that with those types of interactions, feelings were bound to grow as well.

So when Taemin came home after the latest 'We Got Married' filming, grinning like an idiot and eyes sparkling, he knew he had lost somewhere along the way.

Taemin still climbed in bed with him, and gave him those unexpected touches that he loved. He still let Minho whisper sweet nothings into his ears and leave his touches lingering a bit longer than normal, but Minho still knew things had changed, and perhaps it was even time to fall back and let Taemin take the wheel.

And never did I think that I
Would be caught in the way you got me
Push another girl aside and just give in
 

It had started off as a perfectly normal hyung and dongsaeng relationship, with Taemin following him around with puppy-eyes that had him wrapped around the younger boy's little finger. He held his hand when he was nervous, gave him courage when he was insecure, and tried to make his transition into the idol world as smooth as possible, even if he himself was a bit lost in the process.

When he was younger, back in their debut days, Minho had always passed the fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach off as nerves. He was quiet and a bit introverted, and it made sense that he be a bit jittery about going out on stage and pleasing their fans. It wasn't until the interview on Shim Shim Tapa that he realized his attraction to his favorite dongsaeng.

From there, they realized their mutual feelings and slowly fell into a comfortable not-so-much-friendship. Gentle touches and arousing caresses were often exchanged and grew into something more as they grew older.

When Taemin hit puberty and panicked over his newly found feelings and thoughts, it was Minho that was there to help him. When he hit an identity and ual crisis during the Lucifer era, receiving criticism on his feminine looks, it was Minho that was there to assure him that he was in fact the most beautiful human being he had ever laid eyes on, and he was still many all at the same time.

Minho was there for the maknae, and in return Taemin was there for him in ways that he wasn't even fully aware of. While Taemin merely enjoyed their affairs, Minho felt a bit more, but he didn't mind. As long as he still had Taemin's attention, it didn't matter.

Girls love girls and boys (sophisticated, manipulated)
Girls love girls and boys (sophisticated, manipulated)
And never did I think that I
Would be caught in the way you got me
But girls love girls and boys
And love is not a choice

Minho felt conflicted. He wasn't sure whether to let it go and move on, or to be selfish and kick and scream and fight for what was his, even if he really didn't have a right to. Moving on would the logical choice. Fighting would be irrational and could jeopardize the simple relationship they already had, even if it was mostly one-sided. Both would be exhausting and painful, and neither would be easy to do.

It was a confusing mix of emotions, and it was breaking him down day by day. It was difficult when Taemin returned to the dorm after a day of filming and gushed about the girl as he cuddled with his hyung, fingers running through hair in an intimate way with Minho barely resisting the urge to either kiss the boy senseless or push him away.

The worst situation was when he was forced to make an appearance on the show, and although Naeun was one of the nicest girls he had ever met, he couldn't help but dislike her. She was perfect for Taemin, and it was so obvious that he was really falling for her.

She was teaching him things Minho never could; patience, how to care for someone, and responsibility for his actions. He even wanted to thank her for some things, such as taking such good care of his dear dongsaeng. To be quite honest, even if he disliked her, he still admired her for being the person that caught Taemin's affections. He just hoped that she could return his feelings, because he could imagine the world of hurt that Taemin would feel. After all, Minho felt it himself every day.

Pose, you've gotta save your reputation
They're close to finding out about your Girlfriend
But if you change your mind, you know where I am
Yeah, if you change your mind, you know
Where to find me
'Cause I don't wanna save your reputation

After the last time Taemin came home from recording, smiling secretly and keeping to himself for the rest of the night, Minho made up his mind. He would confront the maknae with his feelings, and just come straight out with it, because ignoring his emotions and what his heart screamed at him to do was driving him insane. Perhaps he would get lucky, and Taemin's interest in the girl would be nothing but as a pawn to keep his image up.

He knew that wasn't the case though, no matter how bad he wished it so.

Taemin had entered the dorm, greeted the hyungs, grabbed a drink from the fridge, and disappeared off to his and Jonghyun's shared room. Knowing that it was his chance to get Taemin alone, Minho took the opening and excused himself from the living room where the elder members sat watching the television, with Jinki dosing off in the massage chair in the corner.

He let out a sigh as he walked down the hallway and paused for a moment as he reached the door to the boy's room. Lifting a fist, he knocked twice before twisting the doorknob and slowly opening the door.

Taemin sat on his bed, legs crossed, and head tilted to get a glimpse of who was entering his room. Once their eyes met, the younger smiled, scooting over and patting the edge of his bed.

“Hey, hyung. What's up?” he questioned, smiling in the way that always had Minho's heart fluttering. He forced a smile, and walked towards the bed. He shrugged and sat, sitting so that their shoulders touched and their feet brushed against each other in the slightest of ways.

“I need to talk to you.” he responded, eyes trained on his clasped hands and failing to meet Taemin's expression, which he knew probably held confusion.

As expected, Taemin shifted, turning to look at him and bringing a hand to pull one of Minho's hand and intertwining it with his own.

“About what?” He sounded concerned, and gave a squeeze to the hand that he held. Minho squeezed back, biting his lip.

“How do you feel about Naeun?” he asked, lifting his head to watch Taemin's response. Of course, he lit up like a Christmas tree, and grinned.

“She's amazing, hyung. I mean, at first I wasn't sure, but now she's opening up to me, and I just.. Don't you think she's amazing, too?” he rambled, but his feelings were clear.

“That's the thing.. I do think she's amazing.” And she was taking his place. He was supposed to be the only one Taemin had. Now she was replacing him as that person.

Taemin's expression faltered, and he pulled his hand away. He watched as the boy's eyebrows furrowed, in a questioning way. He almost looked angry, too.

“What are you saying? You like her? Is that it?” his tone was accusing, and Minho shrunk back, holding up is hands in protest. He couldn't help the bitter laugh that escaped his lips.

“No, that would be far from the truth.. You know who I like, and you know they need to choose what they want. Me, or her.” He spat out the words like removing a band aid. There was no point in continuing to beat around the bush.

Taemin gaped, shocked at the straight-forward confession. Minho couldn't blame him, because he had never expected to reveal his feelings in such a way, even if they were obvious through his actions.

“Hyung.. I- I can't choose. I.. already have.” he finally whispered, eyes falling and a guilty look crossing his features.

Minho felt his heart plummet, asking, “What do you mean?”

“I'm with Naeun, officially. It just happened today.. I'm sorry.”

And never did I think that I
Would be caught in the way you got me
Push another girl aside and just give in
 

I am just a villain vying for attention
From a girl
A girl who can't decide and here's the reason why
 

Minho clenched his fists, gritting his teeth and averting his eyes. He should have known this would be the case.

“Hyung..” came Taemin's voice again, meek and worried. “I-”

“No. Save it. I get it, I'm nothing but a hyung to you. Even though it hurts, I'm okay with that., as long as you're happy.” he forced himself to speak, trying to seem alright although he wasn't. Taemin saw right through the act.

“You're not okay with it, and it's my fault for doing this to you.. I knew you liked me. I liked you too, for the longest time, but then To The Beautiful You happened, and.. I thought you were over it.. So I let it go, too.” he spoke, voice filled with emotion, namely guilt and regret.

Minho laughed bitterly once more, in disbelief. “What made you think I was over it? The flirting with you constantly or the times I held you and refused to let you go? Or how about turning away all of the actresses that I could have had?” he shot, sad and frustrated.

Taemin swallowed thickly, “But I saw Sulli and you together, more than once, kissing and touching each other..” he trailed off, sounding confused.

“Because she reminded me of you. She was the next best thing at the time.”

The sat in silence for several moments, each processing what the other had said. They were a mess, and had completely misread each other along the course of their relationship.

Finally, Taemin spoke again, sighing. “I'm so sorry, hyung. If I had known, maybe things could have been different, but..”

“It's too late for that now.”

“Yeah.”

Girls love girls and boys (sophisticated, manipulated)
Girls love girls and boys (sophisticated, manipulated)

Minho had left the room after that, returning to the living room to find the hyungs watching the very show that had left him where he was now.

'We Got Married' played on the flat screen television, illuminating the room with the picture of Taemin, Naeun, Key, and himself. It was the the first time they had visited, and the image of Minho clinging to Taemin and pushing him backwards towards the wall, going on in a faux excited voice of how the maknae was married, played.

As the show continued, he watched as Taemin took care of his wife in the way that Minho had once taken care of him, and then in the next moment ate off of his hyung's plate, smiling as he usually did.

It was almost comical, watching how easily the boy would go from his wife to his hyung, in some not-so subtle ways. The grin that had split across his face at 'Taeminnie' was full of the adoration the younger had still felt at the time, as well.

Now, however, that had changed in just a few short months. That look of admiration was gone, and was now shed only onto the girl in those soft gazes that Taemin sent her way.

He missed the old days, where he could caress the boy without worrying about returned feelings and the mess of emotions that came with the lack there of. He missed the messing around on stage, dollar-kissing and 'secret' touches. He missed the cuddling in the dorm, and the occasional soft kisses.

He missed it all, and there isn't a thing in the world he wouldn't give up just have it all back.

And never did I think that I
Would be caught in the way you got me
But girls love girls and boys
And love is not a choice