“She’s not anywhere,” I stride into the library, where my mother and Kai have gathered.

For the past three hours, Kai, my mother and I have been looking for Hana.  In the stables, gardens, greenhouses, any side of the castle, we went through all the rooms.  We needed her, we needed answers, or basically, we just needed to see her in person, to prove that what strange assumption we had towards her weren’t just us. 

“I asked the other helpers, and they said they didn’t know who Hana was,” Kai quietly adds.

His statement silences the three of us. 

“She’s a real person, right?” My mother asks, concerned.

“If she weren’t, she wouldn’t be so communicative and warm to touch,” I answer.

“How can she just disappear?” Kai wonders aloud.

I sort through my memories of yesterday and recall whatever strange thing I could find about her.  “Other than the fact that she’s too well-mannered for a housekeeper, she had this sad look on her face when she told me the reason she liked me,” I explain.

“Wait, so she told you, but not us?” My mother asks.

“It’s because no one has ever made her laugh like I did,” I blurt out quickly before continuing.  “And when she said that, the look on her face reminded me of someone,”

“Who?”

I answer with a shake of my head.  “I can’t put a finger on it,”

My mother takes out a thick folder and flips through it with her fingers.  “There’s no Hana here,” Her eyebrows dig deeper into her forehead as she shows us the housekeeper’s files.  From gardener, to stable keeper, to house keeper, to chefs, this folder contained everything about them.  And yet, Hana isn’t there.  “I remember every servant that came in.  But I don’t think I’ve seen Hana, now that I think about it,”

“Which is why you said we didn’t have a new stable keeper back when I asked you,” I add in, seeing her nod.

“And as pretty as our housekeepers are, I don’t think we have a keeper that works all jobs that is as pretty as Hana,” Kai says.  Even though it’s subjective, but it’s true.  “When she’s that pretty, mom would probably put her somewhere higher,”

My mother agrees.  “So many questions and yet no answers,”

“Even I’m surprised, but I didn’t actually think about it that much,” I shake my head.  “So Hana is someone who snuck in as a housekeeper?”

“Sneaking in is our best guess,” My mother says.  “But how?”

“Our guards, although friendly, don’t let strangers in, no matter how pretty they are,” I knead my eyebrows.  “No matter how inconspicuous they are,”

“Except if they’re with someone we know,” Kai snaps his fingers.

“Then maybe, another housekeeper?” I stand up.

And at the same time, a knock on the door came.

“Did I say that we were not to be disturbed?” My mother raises her voice, but the door cracks open and a housekeeper in her 40s, the one we call Aunt Kim comes in, her hands laced together and her head lowered.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness, I truly am,” She says.  “But I could not stand by and watch all of you lost when I have answers,”

The three of us exchange glances and my mother clears .  “Come sit, Aunt Kim,”

Aunt Kim wobbles over and sits on a chair, her head still lowered. 

“What do you mean by answers?” I ask quietly.

“I know Hana,” She says.  “I know her very well,” I notice her grip on her skirt, which tightened as she says the next words.  “She had told me to never tell a soul about this, but as much as she is dear to me, I have vowed to the royal family,”

My mother looks at her in concern.  “Aunt Kim, don’t betray someone’s trust because of us.  It is shameful, both for you and for us,”

“But this is on my own account,” Aunt Kim argues.  “Even if I had not vowed, I would still tell the three of you about this,” She clears to prevent her voice from cracking.  “I’m sorry, Hana,”

We wait for her explanation.

“I was out in the market one day, a year ago, and I was bargaining for spices,” She begins.  “The vendor didn’t want to give me the spices with the price I wanted but I kept pushing.  When I finally figured out that he wouldn’t want to no matter what, I left for another vendor.  But a minute later, someone taps me on the shoulder and hands me the bag of spices.  As you three can guess, it’s Hana.  She saw my uniform and immediately knew I work for the castle.  When she was about to speak further, I hear the familiar clang of a castle guard’s armor, and the thrum of hooves coming closer.  Hana pulled me into an alley, and we watch the cluster of guards pass by.  I stared at her in surprise but the desperate look on her face pulled at me. 

‘Can you take me to the castle, please?’

Were the words she said to me in that alley.  I stepped back with distrust, but she approached, still with that look on her face and said another sentence;

‘I don’t want to go home,’

Forgive me, Your Highnesses, but only with that and the look on her face, I took her in, through the keepers’ gates, so no one had to know.  I gave her all sorts of uniforms and told her to work as the others do, so that no one would be suspicious of her presence.  Being the keepers’ Head, I have no trouble in camouflaging her in between all the other keepers. 

I held back from asking who she was beyond her name, why she was out in the market that day, why she had guards chasing her, was she a bad person, why did she choose the castle of all places, and all the other questions, because every single night, when I come into her room to check on her, she would always be crying, hugging a picture to her chest. 

At the beginning, she kept trying to hide the fact that she was crying from me.  Her eyes were red and puffy, so hiding it was futile.  She had papers I couldn’t make sense of on her desk, scattered, full of her handwriting.  When gradually people get better, Hana didn’t.  When I came in, her tears would still be streaming down her cheeks and the picture would be face down on her bed and the only way she could stop was because I held her in my arms, telling her that it’s all going to be okay. 

Bit by bit she opened up to me, turned from the cold child into a warm one, full of smiles and laughter, but still, she did not tell me what I wanted to know. 

All she said to me was this;

‘Aunt Kim, have you ever felt so scared of something, you completely turn away from it? But after, you realize that you’re greatly responsible for this and you must regret it when you don’t want to?’

I had said no, and told her that everybody dear to you is always around to help, so you’re not supposed to run away, because all it’s going to do is mess things up. 

It seems that Hana pondered over my words very much.  Every night she would stare at that picture, but not cry.  Frown and get angry sometimes, but no more tears.

But just a month ago, she came back with the happiest smile on her face and told me she was in love.  The color on her face quickly drained away when she told me it was the prince.  I understood why, more so with her identity state.  She kept telling me she had to leave, she had to leave, but that didn’t stop her from turning brighter everytime she came back from seeing you, Prince.

This last week, she was happiest, but at the same time, saddest.  Yesterday, I saw her stashing her papers into a bag, along with that framed picture I never saw.

I didn’t have the time to ask her, because after lunch, when she was supposed to be changing uniforms in the stables, I couldn’t find her.  She was gone already.

I actually have a guess at who she actually is, and it is most probably right for I had seen her picture, once.  But this much I have betrayed her so please, Your Highnesses, ask no further from this,”

I had my head in my hands by the time Aunt Kim was finished.  I hear my mother dismiss her and give her a hug, apologizing continuously as she walks Aunt Kim out. 

“It’s the least I can do for the 20 years I have worked for you,” Aunt Kim says, and the library doors close.

It’s so much to take in.  So much to take in and so much to acknowledge.  So much suspicions I don’t want to have.  So much worry, so much love and yet so much fear.

“When someone has guards chasing over them, does that make them an important person?” I ask to nobody in particular.

“Important, both in good and bad ways,” My mother answers.

“So is she an escaping prisoner, or is she a member of a noble’s family?” Kai hangs the question in the air and because of that, my eyes snap open.

The pieces come together like a puzzle in my head and as it comes together to form a full picture, I stand to take a file from one of the cabinets and quietly, I set it down on the desk.

Nearing a whisper, I speak out my thoughts.  “Hana is a member of the Son Nobles’ family,”