A/n: This chapter came a little early. If I can, another will be up this week. Hopefully. <3

The month of May dragged on, and then in June it became cramming time for exams. It stressed Kyungsoo out, but he was trying to move forward, to live his life as normally as possible. He found it difficult to enjoy things, he hated people touching him unexpectedly, and though he had talked to Jongin, he was still carrying this immense burden that he would never be able to rid himself of. This was why he didn’t tell Sehun, or Joonmyun, or his parents, or anyone else. He didn’t want to make them suffer along with him.

Jongin helped him in every way he could, and Kyungsoo could tell he was lost all the time – who knew how to deal with this kind of situation? – but he did his best. He didn’t try to treat Kyungsoo like a child or some weak, fragile person, but was still gentle. Despite how much Kyungsoo knew he hated it, Jongin let him talk about all the things he needed to, and Kyungsoo constantly found himself being graphic in his explanations of dreams and worries. He would listen, and cringe, and hold Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo was starting to love the comfort he found in Jongin’s arms; it was the only place in the world he felt safe. When Jongin would spend the night at his house, he slowly began erasing Kyungsoo’s nightmares, and soon he was able to fall into dreamless sleep whenever the boy was curled up beside him. He always woke up with his limbs thrown over Jongin, face pressed into the warmth of the younger’s neck. Jongin was safety.

It wasn’t easy for Kyungsoo to just not think about what had happened. But he tried to push himself away from it is as much as he could, tried to return to a regular life. He gave up on parties permanently, and he decided he wasn’t going to drink or try to hit on anyone ever again. He couldn’t even imagine having or even wanting to, but he hoped that wouldn’t be something to worry about for a long time. There was uncertainty surrounding his feelings towards Jongin. He didn’t want to have with him any more than he did with anyone else, yet he spent many nights sleeping with Jongin, and he was only growing more comfortable with him. The fear in kissing him faded, but Jongin was still careful, not kissing him without Kyungsoo initiating it.

He remembered the night they fell asleep kissing. It hadn’t been anything ual, it was just light and playful but lingering, and Kyungsoo had dozed off without pulling away. A few hours later he woke up with his lips still against Jongin’s, both of their mouths parted, their breathing in rhythm, Jongin’s hot breath ghosting through his mouth, sending butterflies through his chest. He pushed into Jongin’s lips before snuggling down into his chest and falling back asleep. If it happened again on nights after that, he couldn’t remember.

The week before exams, there was a final soccer game that many people at their school attended. Jongin asked Kyungsoo to go, although they couldn’t sit together, and Kyungsoo asked Sehun if he would go with him. Though Sehun didn’t want to see Luhan, he was happy to have Kyungsoo wanting to do something with him, and accepted his friend’s offer.

When they arrived at the game, the bleachers were already full, but Kyungsoo spotted a free spot near Jongin, and made his way up to sit there. Jongin was sitting with the rest of his friends, Kris beside him and Yixing on the other side of the leader. Yixing saw Kyungsoo and Sehun, and gave them a smile.

“Hello, Sehun,” he said warmly, nodding politely towards Kyungsoo; he knew better than to say something to Kyungsoo with Kris beside him, but he wasn’t going to just ignore him. Sehun waved and returned the hello in Chinese, and Kris looked up with a glare. Then he caught Yixing’s smile, and elbowed him, causing the younger boy to turn, eyes innocent.

“What the hell, man?” Kyungsoo heard Kris say, quiet but irritated. Yixing just continued to smile, then leaned his head on Kris’ shoulder. Kris’ arm went mindlessly around Yixing and Jongdae, sitting behind the two with Tao, flicked him in the back of the head. Kris shot him a glare. Kyungsoo didn’t understand any of it.

The team came on the field, and Sehun sighed at the sight of the blond Chinese boy holding the hand of his short, round-faced boyfriend. Kyungsoo was grateful the year was almost over, and they would soon be gone, out of Sehun’s life. As the team shuffled onto the grass and the crowd cheered, another group of boys strutted over to the bleachers, making their way up to the top row, not far behind Kyungsoo. They were rowdy and careless, almost acting drunk, and then one of them called to Kris.

Kris turned icily, eyes hard. “What do you want?”

“Bit rude how you greet your old friends,” the boy said, and Kyungsoo could hear the smirk in his words.

“What’s he doing here?” Yixing whispered to Kris, eyes wide. He gave Kyungsoo a strange look, and Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow, glancing back at the troop of boys who had come in. There were four of them, all older, two dark and two light-haired. They were unfamiliar to him, but he felt like he may have seen them around before. Were they graduated students from the high school? He squinted against the sunlight, focusing his eyes on them, and yes, he did recognize at least one of them.

Yixing was texting someone, and if Kyungsoo had been paying attention, he would’ve seen that it was Jongin, who answered his buzzing phone a few seconds after Yixing put his own down. But Kyungsoo didn’t see it, because he wasn’t looking – he may as well not have been there.

“Hey, Kyungsoo, you okay?”

Sehun’s voice floated in the distance, meaningless. Behind him, the sneering voice of the pretty, light-haired boy smoothly flowed into his ears, triggering an array of memories.

There was a clatter as Jongin dropped his phone on the bench below his feet.

“Kyungsoo?”

Beside him, Sehun was waving his hand in front of his wide, terrorized eyes. Kyungsoo shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut.

That was the boy who was haunting his dreams.

“

Jongin saw the quartet of latecomers shuffling their way along the bleachers, and then they were talking to Kris. He wondered if they were some of the kids Kris had been friends with, before Jongin and Tao had started high school. He’d heard stories about them, but didn’t really know them. He had seen them around before – some of them had gone to his parties, and he’d seen them at other parties. He was pretty sure they were in university, so he didn’t know why they went to high school parties still, but he really didn’t care. If they were having fun, he supposed it didn’t matter.

He felt his phone vibrate, and pulled it out of his pocket. Yixing was texting him. Yixing? He was literally two people away from him. Weird kid.

“Jongin, that’s him. The one talking to Kris – Heechul. He’s the one I saw coming out of your room that night – the boy who was with Kyungsoo.”

Jongin’s phone fell as he read the words, and he glanced back at Heechul. And he was staring at Kyungsoo’s .

He looked past Kris and Yixing to Kyungsoo, who was shaking, hands balled into fists and eyes clasped shut tightly. Sehun had a look of concern on his face, trying to pull a response out of his hyung, unsuccessfully. He caught Jongin’s eye, and Jongin gestured for Sehun to take Kyungsoo out of the place, standing up and feeding Kris an excuse as to where he was going. Kris was hardly paying attention, annoyed by Heechul’s appearance. Then he realized, he could kill Heechul right there. He’d found the guy. He tapped Kris’ shoulder, leaning close to his ear.

“You hate that guy, right?” Kris turned to look at Jongin, giving a nod. “Good. I do too. I’m gonna kill him when I get back, so make sure he doesn’t go anywhere, ‘kay?” Kris smirked, nodding a second time.

“I’m down for that.”

Jongin hurried off, down the side of the field and into the school. A few moments later, Sehun and a trembling Kyungsoo walked through the doors, and Jongin rushed to his hyung.

“Kyungsoo!”

He threw his arms around the shocked boy, shielding him from everything. Kyungsoo was nonresponsive, and Jongin pulled back to look him in the eyes, but they were blank, empty of recognition, full of fear. His lips moved in a silent mantra, and it took a moment for Jongin to see what he was mouthing.

It’s him. Help me. That’s him. Help me.

His breathing was shaky, unstable, shallow, uneven. A moment later, he seemed to have fainted, and if Jongin didn’t have a hold on him, he would have collapsed into the wall behind him. Instead, he fell into Jongin’s arms, legs given out, shoulders slumped. Jongin lowered him down to the floor carefully, leaning him against the wall and shaking Kyungsoo.

“I don’t know what happened to him!” Sehun exclaimed. “He just – got all sketchy like that!”

“It’s not your fault,” Jongin said as he continued to try to wake Kyungsoo. Slowly the boy’s eyes opened, and he was only out of it for a moment before he gasped and threw himself into Jongin.

“He found me! It was him, Jongin! That was him!”

“Shh, Kyungsoo, he didn’t see you.” He probably doesn’t even remember you.

“Who?” Sehun put in. “Who are you talking about?”

“He’s going to come after me, Jongin…”

“No, no he won’t, I promise,” Jongin cooed. “I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna go back and kill him. He won’t touch you, it’s okay…”

“Who won’t touch him? What are you saying?”

“Sehun, maybe you should go…”

“No! He’s my best friend, I have a right to know what’s going on! Who are you talking about?!”

“Sehun-”

“Shut up, Jongin!” The younger pushed Jongin aside, taking Kyungsoo in his arms. “What’s wrong, hyung? Who found you?” Kyungsoo just shook his head. “What won’t you tell me that you’ll tell him? I’m supposed to be your best friend here, I should come before your -buddy!”

“I’m not his -buddy!” Jongin shouted, and Sehun stood up to face him. “We’ve never had ! I’ve never even done more than kiss him.”

“Bull!” Sehun laughed sardonically. “I remember that time after we all hung out, he spent the whole weekend at your house, and he could hardly even walk for a week after. Don’t act like you were screwing his brains out that whole time.”

Kyungsoo shivered, because he knew what had happened that weekend, and he wished it had been as nice as having with Jongin.

“I didn’t have with him! He was -“ Jongin cut himself off, eyes widening.

“He was what?” snapped Sehun.

Jongin shook his head. “Nothing. We didn’t have , okay? Drop it.”

“No, what were you going to say?” Jongin remained silent. Sehun turned to the boy huddled on the ground. “Kyungsoo? What was he gonna say?”

Kyungsoo’s lip quivered, and he buried his head in his hands. Sehun’s voice came closer, right in front of Kyungsoo’s face.

“Kyungsoo?”

“I-it’s nothing, Hoon,” Kyungsoo whimpered between his fingers.

“Hyung.” Sehun’s voice was uneasy. “Hyung, what happened?” His voice was soft, scared. “Why have you been acting so different ever since… ever since that weekend? This is the reason… Kyungsoo, tell me what happened. Please.”

Kyungsoo swallowed, body quivering. He was so overwhelmed right now, he wanted to go home and lie in his bed with Jongin and just sleep, have this all end.

“He – he ed me.”

“Jongin?”

“No,” Jongin denied. “Heechul. He’s an older ex-friend of Kris’. He was at that party, and he… took Kyungsoo off and him.”

Sehun’s jaw dropped. “Wh… what?” No one said anything as Sehun put everything together. “Oh my – gosh… I – hyung, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was – scared…”

“But you told Jongin.”

“I found him,” Jongin cut in. “Don’t blame him right now. He’s terrified. He just saw the guy who him, give him some space.” As he said that, he knelt down beside Kyungsoo, reaching out for his hand. Kyungsoo grabbed it, pulling him closer, and Jongin drew him into his lap, cradling him as he continued to cry.

“’Give him some space’,” Sehun muttered, hovering worriedly beside them. “Yeah, okay.” He petted Kyungsoo’s hair, kissing his temple. “I’m here for you, okay Kyungsoo?” Kyungsoo’s head bobbed slightly, and tears slipped through his lashes as he closed his eyes. “This guy is here, Jongin? The guy who – you know… Kyungsoo saw him?”

Jongin nodded. “Heechul. Would you stay here with Kyungsoo? I have to go find him.”

“No way,” Sehun said. “I’m going after this guy with you.”

“No, Sehun, you could get hurt-“

“I don’t care! He my best friend! Don’t think you’re the only one who cares about Kyungsoo here.”

They argued until Jongin just got up, kissing Kyungsoo and hurrying out, leaving Sehun alone with him. Sehun swore under his breath. He leaned down beside Kyungsoo, looking him over and shaking his head.

“What can I do with you?” he mumbled. “I’m not good at this. Do you want me to take you to the school nurse, hyung? We can just tell her you went into shock, because it’s too warm or something. I don’t want you to get any worse. I promise I’ll keep that guy away from you, if Jongin doesn’t end up killing him.” Kyungsoo nodded, and Sehun helped him stand, before piggybacking him. Kyungsoo felt like dead weight to Sehun, arms thrown around his neck, head weighing heavily on his shoulder. But Sehun just jogged back to the soccer field, spotting the woman in her medical attire, there in case any accidents happened in the game. Sehun dropped Kyungsoo to his feet, but he couldn’t hold himself up, legs giving way and he dropped to the ground. Sehun cried out, dropping beside him and looking over the heavy-lidded boy. The nurse rushed over, asking what was wrong with him, and Sehun explained he was just too hot.

Then someone else was jogging over to them, a boy in a soccer uniform. “Hey, is he alright?” he asked.

“He’s fine,” Sehun answered coldly, not looking at the cute-faced, worried boy. “Don’t you have a game to play?”

“I’m on the bench right now,” Minseok said lightly. “I just saw Kyungsoo fall, I was worried…”

“He’s fine,” Sehun repeated. “It’s just the heat.”

Minseok nodded. “That’s not good. It’s probably his dark hair. Anyways, I guess I’ll go… Tell him I hope he’s okay.” He left somewhat awkwardly, and Sehun scowled.

Meanwhile, Jongin returned to his spot beside Kris, seeing Heechul was still there. Kris asked him if he’d seen Sehun and Kyungsoo, as the two had left shortly after him and he was wondering if they had gone to confront him. However, Jongin just shrugged and lied, saying he hadn’t seen them. A minute later they were walking along the edge of the field – or rather, Sehun was walking, carrying a limp-looking Kyungsoo on his back. Kris laughed at the sight, asking if Jongin was sure he hadn’t beat the kid up, but Jongin shook his head, eyes trailing on the boys. A moment later, Sehun tried to steady Kyungsoo on his feet, but instead Kyungsoo fell to the ground, and Jongin’s heart plummeted with him. He saw their school nurse go over to him, and then Minseok was over a moment later, and Heechul’s voice burned in his ears, sending cruel words Kris’ way. Jongin’s fist clenched, knuckles paling. Another slip from Heechul and Jongin stood up, jumping towards Heechul and rocketing a punch at him. He almost fell over the back side of the bleachers but was saved by his fellow light-haired friend who grabbed his arm with a gasp. Whereas that boy didn’t seem very intimidating, the two dark-haired ones immediately threw themselves between their leader and Jongin. They were both older and larger than he, and in any other situation he would back off, knowing he was taking more than he could handle. But right now, he didn’t care if he was beaten to a pulp; as long as he could take out Kim Heechul.

“Let’s go, you ing !” Jongin screamed around the boys standing in front of him. “I’m gonna ing kill you!”

Behind his friends, Heechul laughed. “Move boys, I wanna see this kid’s face.” They obeyed. “You’re awfully defensive of your leader, huh?”

“This isn’t about him,” Jongin snapped. “This is about my friend who you in my house!”

The people around them were staring, and some gasped at his words, but he didn’t care. Heechul raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Two months ago, you someone at a house party. Ring a bell, or does it happen so much you can’t remember this time specifically?”

“I haven’t anyone, you ing piece of ,” Heechul sneered in defense, trying to remove the spotlight from himself as people turned to give him dirty looks. “Tell your friend to get their facts straight. I don’t have without consent – it’s not with consent you ignorant .”

“It’s not consent if you tie, gag, and screw them against their will!” Jongin shouted back, and he dove at the older boy, fists flying. He had thrown himself on top of him, attacking at random and trying to do whatever damage he could, and Heechul tried to shove him off. This resulted in Jongin losing his balance and tipping over the top row of the bleachers, flying off over the side and dragging Heechul with him. He landed on his back, inches away from the fence, and had the wind knocked out of him, not getting a chance to gain it back as Heechul began hitting him repeatedly. Jongin tried to reciprocate the blows, but his eyes shifted out of focus, and his arms felt heavy. A moment later, the older was plucked off him and Yixing’s face was filling his view, asking if he was okay. He scrambled to his feet, leaning on Yixing for a moment to regain his footing and sight, and looked around for Heechul, who was pinned under Kris and getting the hell beat out of him.  When he drew blood, Kris backed off, and Jongin took over, not done with the boy who had Kyungsoo. He shoved his knee into the boy’s crotch multiple times as hard as he could, rammed his elbow into Heechul’s stomach and ribs (where he swore he heard a very, very satisfying crack!), and bashed his fists against his face until they were covered in blood – both Heechul’s and his own, the skin gashed open from the abuse they were giving and receiving. At some point, the older boy was knocked out, and moments later Jongin pulled himself off his unconscious body, aiming a final kick between his legs and spitting in disgust. His saliva came out mixed with blood, his mouth bleeding from Heechul’s attack, but he didn’t care. He longed to take the boy and dump him off a bridge, but decided – reluctantly – against it, storming away from the scene.

“Jongin!” Kris jogged after him, somewhat stunned by his friend’s actions. He grabbed his shoulder and halted him, and Jongin turned around, tensing in apprehension, before trying to relax. Kris isn’t the enemy. “, man, just – what just happened?”

“I’m letting him off easy this time.”

Kris practically was gaping at him. “I have never seen you so pissed in my life. Remind me not to get on your bad side. You said – he someone, a friend of yours. Is that why you’re so mad?” Jongin gave a curt nod. “I didn’t know, I never thought he would sink that low. That’s ing sick. Is your friend okay?”

“Not really,” Jongin uttered, and he felt himself swoon a bit, grabbing Kris’ shoulder for balance. Kris held his elbow for support, suggesting he sit down, but Jongin just shook his head. “I need to go clean up.”

“I’m gonna go see if Tao’s okay. Make sure those other pricks didn’t touch him,” Kris said. Then he tacked on as an afterthought, “And Jongdae.” He released his grip on Jongin, and they parted ways, Jongin returning to the school once again and Kris going back to the bleachers to his secret boyfriend. On his way inside, Jongin ran into Sehun, who was carrying ice packs and heading out to the soccer field, reminding him of Kyungsoo’s condition. Sehun jumped slightly.

“Hey, you look like ,” he said.

“Thanks,” Jongin grumbled. “Is Kyungsoo okay?”

“He sort of passed out, so they sent me to get these,” Sehun answered, holding up the packs. “I think he’s alright though.”

Jongin nodded. “Okay. Take care of him for me, Sehun. And tell him to text me when he can.” Sehun returned the nod and then continued on his way. Jongin was in the washroom, washing off his face and the tingling cuts on his knuckles when his phone went off. He quickly dried his hands on his jeans and checked it.

“This is Sehun. Kyungsoo wanted to know if you’re alright – won’t just take my word, wants to hear it from you.”

“Tell him I’m fine. Ask if I can come over tonight.”

A pause, and then, “He doubts you’re fine, but said yes.” Jongin smiled, but it quickly diminished as he thought of Kyungsoo, shaking and traumatized. He wished he could be there for him now, but it would have to wait. It was just another hour, but it seemed much longer.

When he made it back to the game, he noticed that Heechul and his friends were gone – and so was Yixing? But no, the Chinese boy was still there, he was just over with Sehun and Kyungsoo, who was now sitting on an ice cube, Sehun pressing one of the ice packs to the back of his neck. Yixing was sitting beside them, warm smile contagious. Meanwhile, on the other side of the soccer game, Kris’ scowl was clear even from this distance, making Jongin laugh.

“Why is he hanging out with them?” Kris said irritably as Jongin took a seat beside him.

“I think he and Sehun get along,” Jongin shrugged.

“Why?” Kris radiated annoyance. “He’s so…” He gave a frustrated sigh. “Ugh.”

“I dunno, I guess he has a way of charming Chinese guys.”

“He doesn’t charm me,” Kris said, reminding Jongin that he was also Chinese. Oops. Forgot about that.

“Maybe it’s the Canadian in you,” Jongin suggested, and Kris just rolled his eyes. “If you care, tell Xing to stop.”

The older raised a judgmental eyebrow. “Like he would listen to me. I’m not gonna stop him if he’s happy. I just wish he had better taste.”

Jongin thought about those words. Does that mean…? But no. This was Yixing they were talking about. He was an exception to every rule, everything in Kris’ life. He was allowed to get away with anything, although Jongin had no idea why. Yixing was just Kris’ soft spot; Jongin had long since stopped questioning it. Whatever he had done, it was before Jongin’s time; and he must have done something, because Yixing was nothing that their group ever wanted. He was nice, he was gentle, he was sweet, caring, and hardly fearsome, and he was far more likely to be killed than kill. But Kris didn’t seem to care, and kept him around. However, the same expectations (or lack thereof) did not apply to Jongin. It wasn’t easy, but Jongin could be replaced. There was far less emotional attachment there than between Kris and Yixing.

So no, coming out to his leader about his love for Do Kyungsoo was still out of the question.

“

Kyungsoo sat with Sehun on the bus behind Yixing and Jongin, Sehun holding on to him until the bus was clear of most other people and then Jongin kicked Sehun out and took up his place beside Kyungsoo. Sehun pouted but sat with Yixing, and Kyungsoo was all but curled up in Jongin’s lap. Kyungsoo didn’t cry, but he was still quivering in fear, and Jongin his hair, murmuring softly in his ear.

When they reached Kyungsoo’s stop, Jongin offered to carry Kyungsoo, but Kyungsoo declined, standing shakily and walking off the bus. By the time the bus had pulled away, Jongin’s arm was around him, Kyungsoo’s thrown over his shoulder.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jongin asked. “I really don’t mind carrying you – you’re really light.”

“I’m fine.” But as soon as he arrived in his room, he flopped onto his bed, face planting into his pillow, body wracked with silent sobs. When Jongin sat on the bed, Kyungsoo pulled himself up and began comforting him. “Are you alright?”

“What? Hyung, I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”

Kyungsoo pawed over his face, forcing Jongin to close his dark, swelled eyes so he could rub his thumbs over his eyelids and coo apologetically. “Your face is all swollen…”

“Will you kiss it better?” When Kyungsoo didn’t respond, Jongin opened his eyes in worry, afraid he had pushed him too far. But Kyungsoo was smiling, just a little, and he leaned in to kiss Jongin’s temple, trailing down his cheekbone, to his nose, to his philtrum, and then pressing his lips against Jongin’s. He felt himself crying, slightly guilty about his friend’s pain, but Jongin pulled away and told him not to cry, it was okay, and he wiped at Kyungsoo’s tears. “Don’t cry, look, I’m all better now.”

Kyungsoo gave a wobbly laugh and buried his face in Jongin’s shoulder. “Did you hurt him?”

“Yes,” Jongin said immediately. “He sort of threw me off the bleachers, but then Kris took over, and I finished him off. I think I broke bones.”

“Good,” Kyungsoo mumbled. “You’re not broken anywhere, are you?”

“No, he hardly got in any punches before Kris pulled him off of me.”

“Good,” Kyungsoo repeated, pulling Jongin’s head down to kiss his forehead. “I need to take a nap,” he sighed. “I feel like hell.” He lay back, taking Jongin’s hand and dragging him down beside him. Jongin pulled Kyungsoo’s blanket over them and snuggled into the smaller boy, foreheads pressing together and Kyungsoo’s small, warm hand resting on Jongin’s neck. Jongin was drifting off into sleep when Kyungsoo breathed his name, or maybe he was just dreaming it. He was too far out of it to respond.

“Thank you, Jongin.” The words were faint and distorted by Jongin’s drowsiness, and he didn’t know if they were real. “You’re so nice to me… I know you like me. I think… I like you too.”

Jongin couldn’t tell if Kyungsoo had said it, or if it was just part of the dream that he sank into, that was Kyungsoo’s smiling face and Kyungsoo’s warm hands and Kyungsoo’s sweet voice humming in his ear. But he didn’t care. He just smiled in his sleep.

Kyungsoo saw his smile, too, and took that as confirmation that the boy believed him. And that made him believe himself.

A/n: Promise things are getting better. Next chapter is gonna be pretty happy. School ends next chapter! Upvotes are really appreciated. Comments are lovely - I love comments :3 Anyways, you're all so great and I appreciate you immensely. <3