Eunhyuk hugged his pillow close to his chest as he lay in bed, crying soundlessly into the soft fabric. Across the room, Donghae was sleeping in his bed, completely unaware of his friend's tears.

 

Hyuk wished that he could hug into him for comfort, but he didn't want to explain the reason for his tears, the reason he cried every night. It was Donghae.

It wasn't just the younger boy, it was all of the members. Their teasing words all added up to cause pain and heartbreak, and sometimes it was all Hyuk could do to keep from crying on the set.

 

Finally falling asleep, he hid himself under the blankets. At least they might leave him alone for a while.

 

Ryeowook was first to wake him, and as he handed him a plate of toast, he gave him a warm smile.

"Good morning Hyukkie" he said in a soft voice, and Eunhyuk felt safe. Ryeowook was a gentle boy, and he rarely teased Hyuk about anything. He stood up for him and made sure that he was alright.

Eating the toast, Hyuk heard Kangin come into the room, and he died a little inside.

 

"Hello! Wake up Eunhyuk, come on. We always have to wait for you to put on extra makeup! Mind you, you definitely need it."

Pulling the covers from the boy, he left the room to wake the others.

Hyuk cried a little, the teasing words had been hurtful. 

He did sometimes hold them up by putting on more makeup, more concealer, but that was only because they called him ugly. Already a sensitive boy, being called ugly by his friends had destroyed every bit of his self-confidence. He hated looking in the mirror.

 

Getting dressed, he picked out a black tshirt and jeans, not wanting anyone to make fun of his outfit.

"You look like you're going to a funeral" Sungmin joked, watching Eunhyuk pull on a black jacket. He didn't see the look of pain in Hyuk's eyes.

 

At practice, after being teased for his sore throat when rapping, Hyuk left to go to the bathroom. He knew that the sore throat was due to crying all night, but he had lied when they had asked, blaming it on a cold.

Sitting in the bathroom, he wished that he had never joined the group, that he had never filled out the application for SM. Crying desperately, he decided to quit.

 

In the practice room, when Hyuk had been in the bathroom for 10 minutes, Kangin went to check on him. As he opened the door, he called for the boy.

"Eunhyuk! Are you in here? Have you fallen in?"

When he recieved no reply, he stood silently, hearing the heartbreaking sounds of sobbing.

"Hyuk?" he said more gently, worrying about the boy.

 

"I'm fine, Kangin."

The older boy worried more, and gently knocked on the cubicle door. "No you're not. What happened?"

Seeing the boy's figure sitting on the floor, he panicked further. "Hyuk! If you don't open this door I'll break it down!"

Hearing the thin click of the lock, he saw the door open to reveal the boy standing in front of him. His eyes were red with tears, and he looked dead inside.

Kangin moved to embrace him, and felt the boy stand still, not hugging back.

"I'm leaving the group Kangin."

 

"What?! No! You can't, we love you."

The boy broke down into tears. "You only say that! You don't mean it! You just call me ugly and weird and stupid all the time.."

"Hyuk that's just teasing, and I'm so sorry. I would never say those things to you and mean them, not at all."

"Then why would you say them?"

 

Kangin hugged the boy close, and began to lead him from the bathroom. When they were sitting on some chairs in an empty practice room, he put his arm around the shaking boy and began to talk in a soft voice.

"I say those things because I'm an idiot, and because I've never thought I would actually be hurting you. You always laugh, and I thought that you knew it was a joke. I understand now that you were just laughing to keep from crying."

"I knew it was just teasing, but you called me ugly so much that it must be true.. I can't even go and see my family without wearing makeup now.."

Kangin just hugged him close, feeling like a failure. He had failed as the 'appa' of the group, and he had failed as a friend. He had caused pain and suffering to Eunhyuk, and he would never forgive himself for that.

 

"Eunhyuk, believe me. You're so beautiful, so handsome. You have such a lovely face, and you don't need makeup at all. I'm sorry I made you feel ugly, I'm sorry I hurt you and made you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. Please don't leave the group Hyukkie, I'll protect you."

Whimpering, Eunhyuk finally gave in and cried, hugging close to Kangin. The older boy just hugged him close, comforting him and whispering sweet words and apologies.

 

"I won't leave hyung. Thank you for sitting with me."

"I'm so sorry Hyuk."

"I forgive you."

Kangin cradled him gently. "Are you ready to go back to the others?"

Shaking his head, Eunhyuk wiped his eyes. "I look awful."

"You look perfect, come with me."

Gently reassuring the boy, he led him back to the practice room.

 

As they walked through the door, everyone went silent as they saw Hyuk's red eyes and tearstained cheeks. Ryeowook was first to embrace him.

"What happened Hyuk? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine Wookie, really I'm fine."

The smaller boy pulled him over to the side, and motioned for the others to keep practicing. Talking to him gently, he his hair and wiped away his tears. The eye makeup was smudged, and Ryeowook got a wipe from his bag.

 

Gently clearing the skin from makeup, he watched as the boy hid his face.

"Hyukkie, what's wrong? It's only us here to see you without makeup."

Hugging into the boy, Eunhyuk explained in a tiny voice.

 

"Eunhyuk, you're so handsome and sweet, just like I always tell you."

"You're the only one who says it, everyone else calls me ugly.. I was voted the 'ugliest member' on television! I just want to go home Wookie.."

"Do you want to come back to the dorm with me?"

Feeling the gentle nod, Wook stood up, still hugging the boy. Leaving the room, they went to the car and drove off.

 

"Kangin, what happened with Eunhyuk? Why is he crying?"

"Because we Min, and we take it too far.. He actually believes that he's ugly and worthless, he's scared."

Everyone gathered around, and tiny tears appeared in Kangin's eyes. "He wanted to leave the group.."

Sungmin hugged Kangin tightly. "Will he be okay? I want to talk to him!"

"I think we should just let him be with Ryeowook for a while, he'll feel happier that way."

 

Back at the dorm, Eunhyuk was sitting cuddled on the sofa with Ryeowook. Watching a silly show together, Hyuk could feel his heart growing lighter.

"See Hyukkie, look how gorgeous you are when you smile."

"I have a gummy smile.."

"And it's beautiful!"

Smiling brightly, Hyuk cuddled tighter to the boy, and drank a little more hot chocolate.

"Thank you Wookie, this means a lot to me."

"You're welcome, it's lovely to spend time with you like this. We should do it more often."

Sitting under the warm blankets, with Ryeowook's hand softly his hair, Hyuk felt his eyes closing and he fell asleep.

 

Still awake, Wook gently looked at the boy sleeping on his lap. Hyuk's head was resting on his thighs, and he touched the soft skin of his cheek. The warm soft skin that was so often hidden by makeup, the eyes that were normally black with liner. his hair, he looked at the beautiful boy, and wondered how he could ever think of himself as ugly.

Hearing his phone ring, he pulled it out of his pocket quickly, not wanting to wake Eunhyuk.

 

"Hello."

"Hello Ryeowook, is Hyuk okay?"

"We're just watching television now, he's fine. Is everyone okay at practice Min?"

"No.. We feel so guilty for hurting him.. Can we speak to him?"

Ryeowook looked at the tired boy. "He's asleep right now. If you really want then I can wake him up?"

"No no. Don't wake him up. Can we come back to the dorm?"

"Of course you can! Come back whenever you want, it's your home too."

 

When the others arrived at the dorm, they were immediately shushed. Seeing Eunhyuk lying on the sofa, with Ryeowook gently supporting his head on his lap, they saw how small and fragile he was. Eunhyuk looked younger in sleep, his soft hair falling over his eyes and his soft eyelashes gently fluttering.

The makeup was completely gone from his skin, and everyone could see his even complexion and soft glow.

The boy was beautiful, and they would help him to know it.

No more teasing, no more jokes.