March 3^rd 2011--- two months ago

She dragged her tired self to the top of the building, walking up the stairs one by one. The breezy wind blew gently on her face as she stood at the open door, breathing in the nice cool autumn air that was surrounding her. She was exhausted. Her legs were tired because of the new choreography she had learned and she was filled with sweat. There was barely enough time for a rest and when she finally got one, the only place she would go was the rooftop. Jae Mi made herself walk to the very end of the spacious area and hopped onto the concrete platform, sitting there with her back leaning against the concrete wall. From there, she could see the beautiful view of Seoul City. The towel in her hand was lifted to her forehead, wiping away her sweat. Using her left arm, she popped open her can of coke and drank a mouthful of it before putting it down again. She sighed.

It was her long live dream to be an entertainer. Whenever she was little, she would dream to become famous like those singers in TV. Singing and dancing was her passion, and she would do anything to achieve her dream. But she didn’t expect that being a singer would mean so much hard work. Being a trainee in CUBE Entertainment was hard, especially for someone like her. She was good in performing, but she wasn’t the best dancer in the company, nor was she the greatest singer. There were a lot of people who were better than her, prettier than her. She was irrational and emotional, someone who can’t take the pressure and struggles to keep up with the others. She needed to prove to them that she was worthy to be picked as the next popular star. Though she had a strong passion for performing, sometimes it wasn’t enough. There were even times she wondered why she even bothered with everything.

She sighed at that thought, leaning her head and knocked it gently against the wall. Maybe she should just give up on her dream, give up on performing. It was what her parents would have wanted. They never understand why she loved singing and dancing so much. They never supported her anyway. Inside their minds, being a singer was never the career that will earn a lot of money. And maybe it was for the best. Maybe she should just give up and go back to being their good daughter. Maybe she should just do what she was told, go to a great university and get a high education on being an accountant or a business person. Yeah, they would like that.

She sighed again and shook her head continuously. No, there shouldn’t be any negative thinking in her mind, not right at that moment. She was just feeling a little stress, a little tired from her busy schedule and all her practices. She was going to debut soon, maybe in a few months time or so. She didn’t need to think about things that are going to beat her down. No, she can’t think of them. She was on her way to stardom as the lead vocal, along with her seven other beautiful talented members. They even have a name for their group, APink. Such a beautiful name, don’t you think?

Looking at the time, she realized that she had been sitting there and thinking for almost an hour. Trying she relax herself, Jae Mi stood up from the platform and began to stretch. Her hands were lifted to and she screamed out loud, throwing all the negative things out of her brain. Then she started jumping up and down, wiggling her body like some crazy person, shaking all her stress away.

She chuckled as she thought of the person who has taught her that. A smile appeared as the face of a boy came across her mind. She could feel an emotion inside of her, a feeling that explodes inside her chest every time she sees him. She pictured his face—his cute little eyes that looked so tiny whenever he smiles, his breathtaking grin that lightens up everyone’s mood, that mysterious smirk of his that always appear when he’s rapping on stage, the way his hair looks so perfect every time and never gets messy wherever he went. Yeap, that’s him alright. She could feel her heart becoming warm once again as she thought of him. It was as though her numb heart started beating and came alive again after experiencing so much.

He was three years older than her, twenty one years old while she was eighteen. He was her sunbae, to be exact, who debuted two years ago as a rapper in a popular boy band called Beast while she was only a little newbie trainee who got accepted into the company due to successfully being one of the top five in their audition. Though there was a three-year age difference, both individuals had a pretty good senior junior relationship. Seniors like G.Na, 4 minute and Beast hung out a lot with the juniors, giving them advice on being a good idol as well as giving tips in singing and dancing. The Beast members were like teachers to the trainees. And because of that, everyone was very close to each other. Both he and Jae Mi were the closest among all.

She stretched her arms and legs, letting out a deep breath. Pulling up her headphones from her neck to her ears, she turned up the volume of the music in her IPOD and hit play. The sudden loudness made her jolt, its beat travelling throughout her body as she felt the music blasting her eardrums. Jumping down from the concrete platform, she began to dance. Her heart was beating like a drum as her body began to move to the flow of the song sung by the one and only HyunA. Her voice echoed inside the girl’s ears as she followed the beat of ‘Change’ and danced, replacing the popular pelvis move with her own choreograph. The voice of a featuring boy artist rapping began to surface as the song continued. Finally, with a loud bang and a strong pose, she ended the dance.

Panting, she flop onto the platform and faced the sky. The sky was bright and blue, filled with fluffy white clouds that made different shapes. After so much negative thinking, she was feeling a lot better now after the dance. It felt good, really good when she did that. It was as if all her stress were drained away from her and into the dance. The voice of the featuring boy artist remained lingering in her mind. A smile surfaced as she closed her eyes. She didn’t know what else to say. She only knew that she had loved him for so long. Yes, the voice of that artist was him, her sunbae.

People might say what she felt for him was only a mere puppy crush. They said it was something that it was only an admiration because he was so handsome and cool, not to mention charismatic. It was probably something that every other school girl has experienced in their lives when seeing gorgeous males. It may seem that way to people but to her, it was more than that.

He was there for her when she was down. He was the one who cheered her on and gave her advice. He had known all the things she had been going through. He understands the reason why she was under stress all the time and how hard she was struggling. He had cared for her, lending her a shoulder to cry on whenever she was feeling depressed and unappreciated. He was the first and only person who had really been there for her since the beginning. And she was grateful to have such a wonderful sunbae, such a wonderful friend. But the only result was that she had fallen for him, hard. A crush was nothing compared to how she felt about him.

A shadow suddenly casted down upon her, blocking the sun and disrupted her from her thoughts. Opening her eyes, she found herself starring at the face of a handsome young man, smirking. Wide-eyed, she immediately sat up and bowed her head. The young man smiled at her actions.

“Stressing over something that you’re not supposed to think of again?” He asked, cocking one eyebrow.

She nodded.

With one leap, he jumped up onto the concrete platform and sat beside her. “Gwenchanayo…” he asked, eyeing her closely. She looked up at his face and smiled, nodding her head. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it, sunbae.” She answered. The boy nodded and turned his attention to the pretty view in front of them. He stretched his arms out and let out a deep breath. Jae Mi smiled and closed her eyes once again, breathing in the cool air. “I’m feeling quite good right now.” She said. Looking back at her, he bumped her shoulder. Jae Mi smiled and made a face, opening one eye to peep at him. Then, she bumped him like he did. The both of them laughed.

“Come on, let’s go.” The boy told her as they both jumped down from the platform. “Cho Rong told me you were gone, so we better get back before she thinks both of us went missing. I’ll get it big time from your leader if she think I kidnapped you. ” Jae Mi chuckled as he led her down the stairs.

Yeap, her mood was definitely better alright. Whenever she was with him, she didn’t need to pretend to be some other people. She didn’t know why but he had some kind of aura around him that made her feel so comfortable, even at the beginning when the both of them just met. She felt safe. That was why she couldn’t give up. No, she wouldn’t forgive herself if she had given up so easily. To her, all the training and stress didn’t matter, as long as he’s there. He made all the bad things go away. If he’s there, everything she had tolerated would be worth a while.

JunHyung sunbae, JunHyung oppa… you’re all that I’ve got now.