Chapter 4: Winter

 

I'm seized by desire,

I hide behind my back,

And postpone all answers.

 

 

 

December, the month of Christmas came. Pale white snowflakes fell down from the icy sky; it piled up as white snow below. Krystal spent her weekdays and weekends shovelling snow off the drive way, sitting at the coffee shop for hours and burying herself in storybooks in the cozy library. She tried to distract herself from the fact that Kai got over her so easily by- well distracting and lying to herself. 

 

She told herself she was happy. 

She told others she was happy, 

but she never told her heart she was happy.

 

Kai, on the other hand, was still together with Jieun, and he still hadn't gotten over Krystal. Just like Jieun had said before, he was trying to relive the moments he had together with Krystal so he wouldn't feel so much pain of missing her. 

 

He brought her to the park where they had their first date. He brought her to the amusement park where they shared their first kiss; and where he asked her to be his girlfriend. He brought her to the japanese bar shop down the road for  dinner; where they used to have sushi together. He brought her everywhere, where Krystal and he had went before. 

 

It was Christmas night. People were rushing everywhere, running around town to buy presents for each other. There were beautiful lights hung around lampposts, flickering now and then. Kai was sitting on a bench near a christmas tree, holding a paper aeroplane; the same one that she read. He opened it cautiously, and read, "Love exist but 

with an absence of eternity. At the first moment of a lover's encounter, 

there's an affirmation of love. Psychologically; Lunacy. Emptiness, Panic. Delusion that the moment will last forever." He paused, tears were welling up in his eyes. 

 

"I'm seized by desire, I hide behind my back, and postpone all answers."

 

Kai turned around, was it Krystal?

 

No, it was Jieun.

 

"Jieun." Kai smiled weakly.

 

Jieun smiled back,"It's okay. I know you still love her." She cried,"It's okay. I don't mind." She cried even more, "I'm just sorry, that I couldn't help you get over the pain." She covered her face with both hands and tears stained her entire face.

 

Kai stood up and hugged her.

 

"You still have a chance." Jieun pulled away and wiped away her tears,"If I'm not the one for you, she must be." Jieun forced a smile,"Don't let her go." With that, she smiled, turned around, and walked off.

 

Kai whispered,"Thank you, Jieun."

 

January arrived. Snow continued to fall mercilessly. Sweaters and scarfs got thicker and thicker. Hot chocolate, her red jumper and her bed were her best friends. 

 

Krystal laid in bed, writing poems. 

 

She started writing, and writing, she got lost in her words, didn't know what she was writing. Until she snapped out of it and realised. 

 

It wrote:

 

Spring 

 

Love exists but 

with an absence of eternity

 

Summer

 

At the first moment of a lover's encounter, 

there's an affirmation of love.

 

Autumn

 

Psychologically; Lunacy

Emptiness, Panic

Delusion that the moment will last

Forever

 

Winter

 

I'm seized by desire,

I hide behind my back,

And postpone all answers.

 

 

Teardrops fell on the piece of paper, she was still thinking of him.

 

And so was he.

 

Krystal got up, she didn't know why, but she had a strong urge to talk to Kai. So, she walked to his house in cold wind, knocking on his door.

 

Kai opened the door, he looked very weak.

 

"K-Krystal?" Kai choked.

 

"Hi, haven't seen you in a long time. Glad you're not dead yet." Krystal joked mildly, inviting herself in. It was almost half a year since she had stepped into his house. It felt so unfamiliar, yet so familiar. She took a whiff, still has the same smell.

 

"Why are you here?" Kai asked.

 

"I don't know, I felt like I needed to come here. So i did." Krystal sat down on the couch.

 

"Actually, I needed to pass you something." Kai said, he was holding the paper aeroplane, and passed it to her.

 

"This is..." Krystal took it and opened it.

 

"It was for Sulli, but it was the reason i met you." Kai smiled.

 

Krystal kept silent, staring at the paper aeroplane.

 

"I was thinking since we're like strangers now...There's no need for me to keep that." Kai muttered.

 

Krystal stood up and walked to the door,"I don't know why I came back, but I'm leaving now, bye." She dragged herself out, she didn't want to let Kai see her cry. The moment she stepped out of the house, tears cane falling out.

 

And tears came out of Kai's eyes too.

 

February took over, the extremely cold winter weather was slowly crawling away. 

 

Krystal's family had moved over to another house, her new house was on a small poppy hill, in the country side, which was extremely far from the city. It was beautiful, according to Krystal; who said that so often that it became her catchphrase. She didn't inform anyone that she was moving, except for Kai; which she left a small note by his bedroom window. 

 

She was rummaging through the boxes, when she found a paper aeroplane.

 

"Why did I even take it." Krystal sighed, sitting down and unfolding the paper aeroplane once again.

 

Suddenly, a small piece of paper fell out. Krystal took it and looked at it strangely.

 

"Strange, i don't remember this being in here." She mumbled to herself and opened the piece of paper.

 

It wrote:

 

"But seasons repeat, 

And chances appear.

 

Minds change like the weather,

Today is never too late,

To start afresh.

 

Please give me another chance?"

 

Krystal froze, that day when she went over to Kai's place, he gave her the paper aeroplane, why didn't she see this earlier?

 

"I never wanted you to ask for another chance. I wanted another chance." Krystal cried.

 

She ran to the train station, hoping onto the last train of the day, it took really long but she had to find Kai. 

 

When she finally reached the station, she saw Kai sleeping on a bench. She slowly stepped forward and sat next to him, leaving another paper aeroplane next to him.

 

It wrote:

 

" Love exist but 

with an absence of eternity

 

Summer

 

At the first moment of a lover's encounter, 

there's an affirmation of love.

 

Autumn

 

Psychologically; Lunacy

Emptiness, Panic

Delusion that the moment will last

Forever

 

Winter

 

I'm seized by desire,

I hide behind my back,

And postpone all answers.

 

 

But after four seasons,

I finally have an answer.

I love you."

 

She smiled, and left.