A/N: Gotta get a few things out the way before I proceed with the final chapters.... be patient with me :)

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"What if the pyramids in Egypt are like ancient satellite tower for aliens?”  Junhong speculated excitedly.  He formed the shape of a pyramid with his hands.  He, Jongup and Jongup’s girlfriend Dizzy lie on their backs, ironically in the shape of a triangle, heads pressed together as they chatted about the different wonders of the world.

“Then would the aliens be using the pyramids to contact humans or other aliens already on earth?”  Dizzy asked thoughtfully, copying Junhong’s hand formation with a dazzling smile.  

When she first started to hang around, before Jongup officially confirmed their relationship to the group, I thought she was ugly.  In fact, when Jongup confessed they were dating (not that we couldn’t all tell) I didn’t stop myself from saying he could do better.  He was (despite not being conventionally attractive) an idol, after all.  He was entirely unfazed by my critique.  She didn’t need to fit my standards since she was his, he reasoned, but over time the more I saw her the clearer it became.   She had a special flair.  She was short but curvy and womanly.  She was sweet and fun-loving, but also clever and mature. She could talk about the sun and the sky one moment, and the state of the music industry and our place in it, the next. And above all she loved Jongup completely, everything in her body language screamed it. 

“Or maybe its used to contact government officials here... like presidents and prime ministers that have a secret ancient peace pacts with aliens,” Jongup piped in grabbing one of her outstretched hands slyly and bringing it to his side.  I sighed without meaning to.

It had been three days since Youngjae and I showered, three days of quick stolen kisses and hidden embraces, but with the group all gathered he sat a safe distance from me.  My whole body craved the casual skinship Jongup displayed.  If I grabbed his hand now, would anyone protest?  Across the room Himchan sat with his feet curled up in Yongguk’s lap.  The two had their heads pressed together in quiet conversation about the Korean hip-hop diss war that was keeping Yongguk up at night, engrossed like a housewife with her daily dramas.

What would happen if I pulled Youngjae to me, laced my fingers through his or laid my head on his shoulder?  Would anyone notice, if our relationship shifted?  We had always been close but how close was too close?  Could we hug and hold halds>  And what would happen if we spent hours whispering the way our hyungs did?

Himchan caught me staring at them and smirked, that handsome knowing smirk that I hated.  But what could he know now?  What could he know, when even I didn’t know what was happening inside of me.  

This whole thing was no less confusing as the days passed.  I’m not a smart man.  I did very poorly in school and had no interest in furthering my education, though TS was pressing.  But it was embarassing to admit that I had spent two nights trying to figure it out and only came up with three clear facts.

#1: Youngjae’s lips were the magical. I wanted to kiss him every day for as long as he would let me.

#2: The way I felt about Youngjae was more than friendship. We had a connection that I never experienced before.

#3: People wouldn’t understand or accept it if I tried to explain it.  And if people knew it would be bad.

But fact number three didn’t stop me from wanting to grab him now, to kiss him and his collarbone and repeat every moment in the hotel room in New York and more…I didn’t even know what more entailed but I wanted all of it.  I wanted all of him. 

“They could be symbols from lost aliens stuck on Earth.  There could be whole colonies of aliens settled across the globe," Himchan added to the discussion a bit frivolously. 

"Yea, there are pyramids all over the world there is even one underwater in the Bermuda triangle!” Yongguk picked uped Himchan's line of thought smiling down on his dongsaeng in a fatherly fashion.  He didn't believe what he was saying I could tell, but he loved it anyways and so did they.  Jongup, Dizzy and junhong all nodded their heads enthusiastically at the new possibility.

As the youngster chatted gathered around an iPad, readin out new found facts about the crystal pyramid of the Bermuda Triangle, Yongguk scooted closer to us, bringing Himchan with him.  

“Are you guys hungry?” Yongguk called to us over the excited murmured of our dongsaeng who had now moved on to the subject of the illuminati.  

We didn’t get a chance to answer.

“I’m starving,” Himchan cried, slapping his stomach in support.  Yongguk rolled his eyes reaching behind the couch to the pile of delivery fliers we left stacked there.  Our dorm had it's own form of organized chaos and I loved it.  I loved being home.

We had finished taping a radio program early in the afternoon and would be free for the rest of the evening in our dorm without a care in the world.  This was the best part of promotion, after the initial nerves had settled and stages started to become exciting instead of scary. When most of the usual variety programs had been recorded already and all that was left was enjoying the final weeks before thinking about the next big project.  Up next for us: Japan.

“Chinese or Korean… or pizza?” Yongguk listed off the options without much enthusiasm.  If he weren’t our leader I think he might forget eating all together; he’d just sit in the studio until he withered away, leaving behind a skeleton in an Obey hoodie.

“Pizza!” Junhong and I said in unison, both lunging for the menu in Yongguk’s hand.  The pizza in Seoul was different than the stuff back in Busan where seafood varieties were the norm and very different than the stuff we had in New York, but it was still pretty good.

“I want the kalbi kind with rice cake and asparagus,” Jongup announced, returning to his doodle of an alien telescope.

Around us everyone named flavors and argued about toppings but Youngjae stayed silent in the melee.

“You’re not hungry?” I asked, sliding next to him under the cover of the hungry ruckus.

“Stylist noona says I’m supposed to be dieting again for Japan,” he whispered, the apples of his beautiful cheeks turning pink.

“No one will know,” I poked him playfully in the stomach.  He cringed, folding over and wrapping his arms protectively over his gut.

“But you'll still see me…” He said pointedly, shutting up when he realized Himchan was beside us.

Himchan looked down on us and that stupid knowing smirk passes his lips again before he flounced away.  He returned from Yongguk's small office/"home studio" with our dorm piggy bank (in the shape of Pororo) as Yongguk called in our pick-up order; 5 different specialty pizzas including a dessert pizza with fruit and almonds.

“I want beer too,” Himchan announced, unscrewing Pororo' penguin head and pulling out the wads of cash stored inside.l

“Not fair, what about us?” Junhong protested pointing to the piggy.  With each paycheck every member put in 100,000 won and that communal piggy bank was used for all our group needs and special events.  Pizza, birthday gifts for staff, snacks and movie nights.  

“And cakes for the little ones,” he pressed.

“I want beer too and soju,” Dizzy said mischievously an identical smirk crossing her boyfriends face.  Himchan looked at the trio still sitting on the floor then at Yongguk before he shrugged.

“Call!  Come on Daehyun, we’ll go pick it up,” he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door before I could protest.  

The sun was starting to set and the cool breeze of night washed over us as we wound our way down the lane, it smelled like flowers and gasoline from the station down the road, it was a comforting smell to me now.  There were three fans waiting at the end of the lane and my stomach dropped preparing to pass her but Himchan changed our course, quickly maneuvering us away.  I had seen her earlier today and the memory still stabbed at my gut.  I didn't know what i was going to say when I saw her.

Lily had pushed through the waiting crowd outside of the radio station as if her life depended on it.  Fans around her scowled and scolded and I had cowardly hid behind Junhong, rushing into the van without a word.  Youngjae didn't say anything about it but I watched him watch her as we drove away, it made me nervous.  

“Why didn’t you bring Yongguk?” I asked sourly, when I noticed him looking back to see if any fans followed.

“Because I like to see you sweat,” he said flippantly, skipping down the street merrily.  

At the corner store Himchan sorted through every beer, checking the calorie count and the serving sizes, before picking two large bottles of Yongguk’s favorite, some chum-churum soju and a six pack of flavored low-alcohol drinks, popular with office ladies.

“Youngjae’s dieting again, neh?” he asked casually as we sorted through the shelf of individually packaged snack cakes.  “Should I not get him one then?”

I found Youngjae’s favorite and shoved it into his hand wordlessly, wondering how long it would be before Lily found me.  He smiled, his infuriating knowing smile and continued filling his baskets with sweets, including my own favorite.  He chatted with the cashier, paid after a few rounds of laughter and again gave me the knowing smile before he glided out the door.

“What?  What is that smile about?”  I finally exploded, as we turned the corner, nearing the neighborhood chain pizza shop where 2pm’s faces were plastered on the window.

“What? I can’t smile at my dongsaeng?” He said innocently.  I wanted to kick him.  it was a common reaction to Himchan.

He approached the girl at the counter with his money ready.  She was young, and a bit plump and she recognized Himchan immediately.  Her face lit up like a lightbulb, and dutifully, I smiled and waved from behind him.

"I told you idols live near here," a boy in the back called as the plump girl fumbled with our tall order.

"So handsome," she managed to say as he paid. He gave her a final smile and a few sweet “babies” before we left; Himchan was practically skipping. He lived for fanservice or the love that came from it, I couldn't tell.

"I wonder why Youngjae is dieting again? He must be trying to take your title of handsomest main vocalist," Himchan mused, quickly adding, "luckily, I have no competition for most beautiful member."

"Probably wants to look nice for Japan," I said nervously. Behind his jokes Himchan was nearing something, I couldn't tell what he really wanted to discuss but there was something below the surface... there always was with Himchan.

"Maybe he wants to get himself a fan -buddy too," he speculated casually.  “Can’t let you have all the fun after all.”

"Why do you hate me?" I snapped rushing forward to face him. He looked, for the first time in the year I knew him, genuinely surprised.

"I don't hate you Jung Daehyun," he said simply and sincerely, it made me feel foolish.

"Whatever," I hissed doubling my steps toward home.

"I brought you so you could talk to that girl and end things without anyone else around," he called after me.

And if by magic she appeared in front of me. She was dressed in a white tee and tiny jean shorts, the kind that still managed to make me gulp. I had a weakness for the gap between her thighs.

"I'll wait for you by the dorm," he sang rushing past with five boxes of pizza stacked in front of him like a shield.

"Why haven't you called me?" She asked, pushing against my chest lightly. She was smiling and her voice was light but behind it I could see desperation and fear.  

"I'm sorry," I sighed heavily.

"It's fine, I just missed you," she said sweetly moving to grab me.

"No, I'm sorry Lily. I can't-- we can't see each other anymore," I said slowly, trying to enunciate every word clearly.  My accent was difficult for her at times and I didn’t want to have to repeat.

“What?  Oppa, I don’t understand,” she said slowly but I could see in her eyes she did.  Her nails dug into my skin bitingly but I didn’t pull away, I deserved the burn.

“I can’t see you anymore.  I can’t go to your house or see you alone.  I’m sorry,” I said trying to convey with my eyes the sincerest of apologies but she wasn’t looking at me.  Her eyes were glazed, staring off into the distance as if she were trying to process my words.

“Why?”  She finally asked, letting go of my arm and dropping the formal speech.  Her jaw was set and her teeth clenched.

“Because I can’t.  I don’t have time and I can’t be with a fan, please,” I begged, my stomach rolling as she neared me.  

“But I love you,” she whispered, leaning her head on my shoulder.  I didn’t mean to flinch but the tiny movement didn’t escape her and her eyes filled with sparkling tears when she looked up at me.  I was the world's biggest .  

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“I won’t tell anyone Daehyun, please,” she begged in a small voice.

“I love someone else.”  Love.  As soon as I said it, I knew it was true and it scared me, that fragile emotion.  How easily it could break me, like I was breaking her.

She grabbed at me, shaking my arm and cursing at me in Chinese.  I stood straight backed ready for anything she could hit me with, I would deserve it.

“Yah, leave him alone.  What are you doing, Chinese dog?!” A girl’s voice came from behind me, Lily and I turned to see two familiar fans approaching.  The tears that filled her eyes finally fell.  I wanted to protect her from them but I feared making any moves that confused her or incriminated myself in front of other fans.  It was cowardly and I hated myself for it.

“It’s fine, it’s okay,” I told the newcomers, blocking one of them from getting any closer to Lily.  The fan, who I recorgnized as a fan of Yongguk had brought out her camera.  I turned back to warn Lily but she was already gone.

“Daehyun oppa you need to be more careful,” the girl with the camera warned.

“I’m sorry,” I replied automatically.

“You can’t play with girls like her,” the first girl, one of Youngjae's girls, added.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m disappointed in you!” Yongguk's girl screamed.

“I’m sorry.” I repeated, listening  to their warnings and disapproval for half a block before I couldn’t handle it anymore and tripled my speed.  I ran face first into Himchan.

“Woah!” He screamed, protecting the pizza with his life.

“I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry,” I fumbled with the bags of drinks and snack cakes I still carried, tripping on myself and finally succumbing to my own tears as a fell onto the stairs.  

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Himchan cooed, patting me awkwardly after placing the pizzas on the landing and topping them with my bags.

“It’s not.  I’m such a bastard!”  I slammed my fist at my temples, begging my tears to stop.  I’d never cried with any of the other members before, and Himchan was the last member I wanted to show weakness.

“Yeah… but at least you know it, right? So you won’t do it again and you won’t go hurting anyone else.”

“I disappointed my fans and my hyungs.”  The more I said the more my tears came and the more Himchan awkwardly patted and cooed.  Finally he pulled me into a one armed hug with a sense of duty, I'm sure.

“Only the crazy fans will know about this anyways and if they tell anyone, no one will believe it,” he joked.  It was a weak joke but it broke the tension in my chest and I laughed so hard I broke free of his weak embrace.  

“Why aren’t we friends, Himchan,” I asked earnestly when my delirious laughter finally faded and my tears were wiped clean.

“What makes you think we aren’t?” He said with finality, picking up the pizza and leading the way home.