He wonders if he'll ever be the same without her. On mornings, he'd turn over and she'd be there, the warmth and scent of her hair calming him down. He’s always had nightmares, something to do with falling endlessly off the edge, something to do with losing everything he's ever loved--her. Gary can't quite decide if he's all right with the decision he has made-- was leaving her really the right choice, or had he chosen it because it was simply the easiest? Shame on him then, because he's supposed to be mature enough to handle all these things. But what they don't tell you about adulthood is that you never really grow up, you just learn how to behave, and the young boy living in the somewhat old soul of Kang Gary is terrified and crowing in the corner (he's always been the one to run and hide). Even when he was a child and was constantly bullied by the other kids, he never retaliated, but instead ran away. He eventually learned to embrace it, even adopting the name Gae-Ri as his stage name. It was something he had survived, something he should be proud of. He can’t help but ponder if this will be the same with their separation; that he'll run away from facing the issue at hand and eventually grow accustomed to her absence (he's afraid of feeling this way though). Sighing, he collapses back onto bed, thoughts weaving webs in all corners of his mind. 

Even now, he can't decide.

XXX

His head pounds furiously as sunlight streams into his bedroom, the warm glow casting long shadows in his bedroom. Struggling to grasp onto reality as his eyes flutter open, he shudders as he hears her voice in his head. He's never been good at remembering dreams but in between the fine line of reality and dreamland, he feels her fingers between his and struggles to hold on. Don't go, he wants to call out, but remembers that he's the one who left in the first place. He has so much to tell her, but she's quickly fading as his mind awakens. His phone buzzes loudly and she blurs out of his mind quickly, although he swears he can still feel her presence in the air. 

Pushing himself out of bed, he reaches out for his phone. 

7 missed calls from Kwangsoo.

XXX

“Hello?”

“Kang Gary! You’ve finally decided to pick up?” Kwangsoo’s voice came from over the phone.

“W-what?” he mumbled, voice still thick with sleep.

“There’s filming today you idiot!”

Reeling in shock, Gary stumbled out of bed before rushing to wash up.

“I’m sorry I—“ he explained frantically, before Kwangsoo cut him off.

“I’m downstairs your apartment, hurry up or we’ll both be late!”

Mentally thanking the heavens for a dongsaeng like Kwangsoo, he threw on a pair trousers and a t-shirt before rushing out of the house.

XXX

As much as he’d like to think that he had given it full consideration before making the decision to leave Jihyo, he hadn’t thought about what it’d be like when they still had to meet each other while filming. By now, the entire nation knew of their marriage, yet no one – not a single soul apart from Gary, Jihyo and Gil, knew of