He tapped on the door but no one answered and so he entered. Minhyun wasn’t to be seen and Ren was asleep under the thin covers. Baekho was quick to check the monitors and was comforted once more by the steady blip of the machines. He was going to have to buy one at this rate, if Ren accepted him. He’d need a wireless headphone at all times to listen in on his new favorite sound.

He unfolded the thick quilt he had bought, knowing that Ren liked warm and cozy things. He tucked a teddy bear into the crook of his arm as he settled the blanket around his body. The balloons went next to his bed side table along with a framed picture of Ren from that day he sat at the table in his kitchen, drawing. Baekho had scribbled in the corner, “I love you <3 Want to be with you <3 XXX” He had felt really cheesy for a moment but then given in.

He wandered over next to sit beside Ren, slowly brushing Ren’s bangs away from his face. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world, Baekho thought as he laid a hand onto Ren’s chest. The most beautiful thing to feel the person you love breathe and live beneath your palm. Each inhale and exhale just made Baekho’s world keep turning, and every beat of his heart in time to the monitors kept him afloat on a sea of chaos.

His fingers traced over the bandaging, over what his Ren had done to himself, before they trailed back to his face, not wanting to remind himself any longer. As he caressed the perfectly soft skin, Baekho felt a surge or desperation rise into him and he leaned forward to whisper in the other’s ear,

“Ren. Mianhei. Mian, mian, mian, my love. But babe, sweetheart, darling…please. One day – one day I promise, I swear babe, I’ll become your happiness. It’s only because I like you that everything can be ok. Without you I don’t know what I’ll do anymore. So give me a chance to love you, to cherish you, to treat you as you should be, and to be there for you for anything. Because I love you. Please accept my heart…Saranghei,” he finished in a gentle murmur as he pulled away. He stared, then, at the other’s sleeping face for quite some time before gently laying his head down next to the other’s side and quickly drifting off to sleep with the other’s free hand tightly clenched in his.

“Baekho?” he murmured in surprise as he awoke to the other snoring – beg pardon, breathing quite loudly. It was calming, a sound Ren could do with having constant in his life. But that wasn’t going to happen. Why couldn’t the boy just leave like he was told, like he himself said, and be done with him? For both their sakes. Ren would never be happy around someone who wasn’t feeling the same, and Baekho didn’t deserve someone like him constantly dragging him down.

The other grunted in his sleep and Ren decided not to disturb him, distracted by the blanket over him. Soft and cozy…normally he only slept in sheets, but these days he had realized how much he appreciated warmth, clinging to Baekho in his sleep like a child. Baekho must have noticed. He felt a small blush rising in his cheeks before he looked the other way only to see balloons. About ten of them, grouped together, all different variants of “Get well soon.” He couldn’t look at them either and decided looking down was safest option – only there was a teddy bear. Good gosh had Baekho rigged the room to be filled with reminders of him? As though he could ever forget. His head was constantly full of Baekho already. It was really quite distracting. The teddy was cute. Too cute. He looked to the left, away from Baekho, balloons, blanket, and teddy. Only to see the picture. When had he taken that? He leaned over to squint at the poor pensmanship.

Ren felt tears prick at his eyes. Why did Baekho have to be so difficult? Why couldn’t he just face the music that Ren was a lost cause, and had been from the beginning? Why would he waste so much time on him? He gave a sudden whimper of pain, but not because of his thoughts. He looked down to see that Baekho’s grip on his hand had slipped to the IV tube, tugging it.

“Baekho,” he whispered, feeling tears prick for a different reason, “Baekho you pabo!” ok, so that wasn’t the best way to go about showing your love and care, but it hurt darn it! Not seriously, but it was pinching and the skin was rather sensitive at the moment even if it wasn’t his injured arm. He kicked the other from under the blanket, only making the tube twis