Just to make sure, in gray = flashback

♦ ♦ ♦

 

"I'm going." I said to no one in particular and put on my shoes.

"Where are you going this early?" I heard Mir shouted from the living room. G.O nudged him and eyed him to don't ask any question.

"It's that time of the year.." I heard him whispered to Mir. Mir's face showed understanding and he approached me, smiling.

"Come back safely, hyung~"

"Nae." I answered and opened the front door. I walked into the elevator and pushed the button to the basement floor, where my car was parked. I looked at my watch and noticed that it's 6 in the morning. Good, I'm not late..

I walked out of the elevator, got into my car and drove to the place I've been dying to go every single day for a whole year.

Her apartment.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

It's 1 AM, me and the rest of MBLAQ had just arrived on our dorm building after all day of practice. We were tired as hell. When we walked toward the elevator, I noticed there's a girl inside carrying her small backpack and books in her hand. She was on the phone.

"Yeah, I've arrived safely. See you at school tomorrow." She hanged up and noticed Cheondoong who was running towards the elevator.

"Please hold the door!" He shouted and she pushed the hold button right at the time the door was almost fully closed. We walked into the elevator.

"Thank you." Joon said and smiled to her. She smiled back at him then rested her body against the elevator wall, looking at the floor screen number. From her reaction, it seemed like she doesn't recognize us. Not surprising, as we were just debuted about three months ago.

"Oh. You live at the same floor as us?" I heard G.O asked her as he noticed that the '11th' button was already on.

"You guys live on 11th floor too?" She tilted her head and looked at all of us.

"Yes! Woah, that means we're neighbours. Nice to meet you, my name is Byunghee. Jung Byunghee." G.O reached out his hand and she shook it.

"I'm Aeri. Shin Aeri." And then we introduced ourselves to her.

"You're a student? Psychology major?" Joon asked, pointing at her books.

"Yes. I;m on my last term at Seoul University." She said, earning a wide stare from us. Seoul Uni? She must be smart..

"Woah. You must be smart!" Mir said, voicing out my thoughts, still with wide eyes.

"Haha not really. Just lucky." She smiled and without noticing it, the elevator door opened in front of us, "Well then, nice to meet you guys, good night." She bowed and walked out. It turned out that her room was at the corner of the hallway, no wonder we never met before.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Since then, she's been around.

Back then, our life was pretty much spent on the dorm or practice room, so we became close with her without realizing t. She became our supporter since day one she knew the fact that we're idols. She became Joon's bestfriend, Mir and Cheondoong's noona, and G.O's object of admiration.

And me?

I was enchanted by her. By her angelic laugh and her peaceful eyes, but most of it simply because it's her. Shin Aeri slipped into my heart and left me forgetting how I was living before she came.

And on the day she agreed to be my girlfriend, I became the happiest man alive. Until one day, my life broke down into pieces. Not only I ruined myself, I also made the guys lost their bestfriend.

 

It took me an hour to get there even when there's no traffic on the road. Yeah, leave it to her to moved so far away from our place. I sighed and turned the wheel to the area I'm so familiar with. I stopped the car in front of a small yet clean apartment complex and wait. I the cd player and switched between songs before I saw someone walked out from the apartment.

It's her.

I froze in my seat looking at her. She's beautiful, she always is. I noticed that she still has that short hair of hers from last year, only she dyed it deep brown. She's wearing a clean cut khaki pants with white shirt and stylish navy blazer on top of it. Simple yet professional, and instead of heels, I saw her wearing a pair of ballet flats. "Don't wear heels, I feel short besides you!" I remembered myself said to her years back, and she never put on her heels anymore, especially when she's with me. 

I smiled at the memory, do you still not wearing your heels, Aeri?

She walked to her car and got in. She drove it past me but it seems like she didn't realize that it was my car. Well, not her fault. I changed my car and the windows were darkly tinted, there's no way she would see me. I followed her car, trying my best to keep a safe distance so she wouldn't realized that she's being followed. Besides, I knew where she's going so I don't have to be afraid of losing her car. Just like what I thought, she stopped in front of a coffee shop. The one she always goes to. I parked my car and ran to the coffee shop, heading to the back door.

A couple of years ago, I asked the staff if I could use the back door for days like today, and after I explained he said and said, "Sure, I'd tell the other staff to let you in from the back door if you come. You're a sweet guy." I got into the coffee shop, welcomed by a smiling boy.

"Ah, you're here. She's still inside the queue. You can start now." He pointed to a stack of paper cup on the corner. I smiled back and mumbled thank you. I grabbed a paper cup and start to mix her morning favorite, a double shot of expresso. I closed the lid and added two blueberry bagels on the tray. I slipped a card below the cup.

 

A cup of coffee for our angel..

Spread your wings again today. Fighting!!

 

"That's for her." I pointed to the tray, "And as always, put it on my tab. Thank you. If she asked, just say..."

"It's from her kidari ahjussi, I know." He smiled excitedly. It must be fun for him to watch, me coming here to do little suprise for her. He must be thinking what a lovely boyfriend I am for doing this. If only he knew the truth..

 

The morning queue was always long, she waited for about 10 minutes to finally get to the counter. I saw she opened to order but cut by the staff. He gave her the coffee and bagels, a slight expression of understanding showed on her face before she finally flashed a small smile and thanked the staff.

She looked around the room, maybe trying to find whoever the staff called 'her kidari ahjussi'. I moved deeper to my hiding place besides the fridge so that she wouldn't see me. She sighed when she realized that no one she knew was around and walked out the door. I ran to my car and followed her again. Half an hour later we arrived on the front of a building, with a sign that read 'Hope Foundation'.

She's a big name Psychologist right now. She achieved her dream..

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

"Here, drink this. It would keep you awake." I handed her a cup of black coffee. It's 2 AM, in her apartment. She looked up from her laptop and smiled.

"Thank you.. I'm so sorry we can't go out tonight. I have to hand this report by tomorrow or else I can't take the test." She said feeling guilty. We were supposed to go out tonight. I already bought the tickets for midnight showing of a movie she's been wanting to see, but she's been busy with her part time job that she hasn't finished her report that was required for the test tomorrow.

"It's okay, the most important thing is you're here with me.." I grinned.

"Ewh so cheesy." She laughed and flicked my forehead. She stopped typing and sat on the couch with me. I put my arms around her shoulder and she rested her head on my shoulder, sipping her coffee.

"But really, I'm sorry, it's been so long since you have free time, and I know we could only go out at night, yet we're here... doing this... crap." She pouted and pointed to her laptop. It's my turn to laugh.

"Crap? YAH! That's for your future!"

"I know, I know. But I hate writing reports.."

"Don't worry, it's your last year of graduate school. After graduating, you no longer have to write such reports. You'll be a psychologist! The best in the country! Yaaay!" I said excitedly. She smacked my arms but smiled widely, maybe already picturing herself being a well-known psychologist. I pulled her into a hug and whispered, "I'm so proud of you."

She smiled and kissed my cheek. I grinned michiveously and pushed her down, "Now, back to work! Don't slack off just because I'm here!" She fell onto the carpet and shoot a deadly glare at me.

"Tsk. Nae, nae~"

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

From across the road, I saw her got out of her car and walked into the building. Would she work inside all day? I waited 10 minutes before I get out from my car and walked inside the building, afraid that she might see me if I followed right away. I approached the front desk.

"Good morning, can I hel–" The receptionist asked but she noticed who I am right away and smiled, "Ahhh..Yang Seungho-ssi. What can I help you today?"

"Erm..do you by any chance know if Aeri-ssi would be working inside all day?"

"I'm sorry I don't. But I can ask someone about her schedule, how about it?"

"Ah, ne, please.." I scratched my head. She picked up the phone and after a moment I heard she's talking with someone on the other line. She finally put the phone down and looked back at me.

"She's going to be here until lunch time, and after that she's going to Ilsan for a seminar. I guess the seminar will be done at 4."

"Ah.. thank you for your help."

 

I looked at my watch, it's 8.30 AM. So I guess I have about three hours to kill before she go out for lunch. I walked back to my car and pulled out my phone. The members must be already on the way to their schedule by now. I feel bad for not coming with them. It was our busy period but I ditched them for my selfish reasons.

Three years ago, when I came up with this proposal about letting me have a day off every March 19th, they looked at me as if I said that I just sold my organ to the loanshark. It's not the request that surprised them, but how I begged for it. I was kneeling in front of them and our manager, saying every single word with a desperate tone.

"But why, Seungho-ah?" Our manager asked.

"It's her birthday.." They know who I meant.

"I can't let her go. I just can't. I know I promised you guys to move on and forget her. But let me go see her on that day, just that one day only.." Tears was threatened to fall on my eyes.

I was desperate. I don't know what I was doing, but I know that I was doing it for my own sanity. I can't live my life without her, even if it's just for one day, it's better than nothing at all. They knew it. That's why they've been letting me do this for the last three years.

"Yoboseyo?" G.O picked up my call on the second ring.

"Where are you?"

"We're in the waiting room, we'd start recording in half an hour. How is it?" He asked me cautiously.

"I'm at her office..honestly, I don't know what I'm doing.." It was silent. I knew he wanted to say something but he's afraid that I might get angry. Just like I always did before. "Just spill..you're going to tell me to stop, right?"

"It's just..until when you're going to do this?"

"Until I can finally let her go.."

"Seungho-ah, I'm sorry for saying this, but.. you're the one who end things with her. You're the one who–"

"I know, okay! You don't have to rub it off in my face over and over again!" I didn't mean to get angry, but I couldn't help it. The thought about my stupid decision years ago always makes me angry with myself. I thought it was for the best, I still do, but.. I'm still hurting..

I heard him sighed from across the line, "If you meet her, tell her Happy Birthday.."

"I will.."

I hanged up and rest my body on my seat. I decided to go to the department store to find a birthday present for her. Another birthday present.. I thought to myself when I looked at the backseat, where three wrapped boxes lined neatly on top of it. Every year, I've been buying her presents for her birthday, and I never actually gave them to her. I hope I could gather up my courage to give them to her today.

All these times, I only got the chance to gave her one birthday present. It was on her first birthday after she agreed to be my girlfriend. I still remember the sparkle in her eyes when I put the necklace on her neck that day

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

"It's beautiful.." She said as she stared at the pendant. It was a silver angel with its wings spread wide.

"Angel..because you're the angel in my life."

"Stop it..you know I don't like that nickname.." She pouted

"Why?"

"Because I'm not an angel, you make it sounds like I'm some sort of a perfect saint or something."

"You are perfect."

"Seungho.. I'm not.."

"You are, because I love you..and in my eyes, you are perfect." I lifted up her chin and smiled. I could saw that she's blushing. It was my first time to say I love her, and it made my heart beats faster.

"I love you too.. I guess.." She looked into my eyes shyly.

"You guess?" I frowned.

"Okay okay.. I love you too.." She smiled and I hugged her. She hugged me back by putting her hands around my waist.

"Now, with that necklace, you're officially become my angel. You'll be here with me forever right?"

"If you asked me to, then I will.."

"Then please..be with me forever.." I tighten the hug and kissed her head.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

That was the first and the last time I told someone that I love her. Even now, I didn't know if I could feel that way towards someone again. 

Aeri was my angel, my love.

She always will.

 

I walked around the department store and decided on a pair of heels to give her. I asked the staff to wrap it for me and I walked back to my car. I arrived at her office building just half an hour before lunch time began. I waited for her to come out and she finally did fifteen minus later.

With someone I knew very well.

Someone who was the start of how my world was falling to pieces.

 

 

 

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A.N:

I was going to post this as a oneshot, but I think I will break it down to several chapters just to make it easier to read.

It's more fun that way, right?

So, see you on the next chapter :)