Dongwoon put his hands over eyes, as he continued to sob. If it hurt this much, why was he torturing himself.  His pride was keeping him from picking up his stuff and running back. He hadn’t even realized he had taken the key and Cody was left locked out. Selfish tears streamed as Dongwoon thought of his own pain. He let out a scream which echoed in the hotel room.

Why did it turn out this way? They weren’t supposed to end up like this. They weren’t supposed to end. It was always Cody and Dongwoon. Everyone knew of their love. They werethe couple. Dongwoon never imagined telling Cody he wanted to end things. He couldn’t conceive the idea of walking out without Cody in hand. It didn’t seem possible. Yet here he was alone. He sniffed back some tears, sitting up to reach for his phone as it buzzed uncontrollably. What if it was Cody, he couldn’t talk to him right now. Dongwoon ignored the calls, staring almost numb into the abyss as his phone blew up.

Calls changed to texts and Dongwoon forced himself to glance down.

We got the place booked for the surprise party. Said one.

What time should I bring Cody said another.                           

Dongwoon swallowed hard as he thought of what to tell the guys. I’ve ruined his birthday, he thought. What kind of an ruins someone’s birthday. Should he still have the party? Could he it up and face him tomorrow. Damn it! He said out loud. He flopped back on the bed, ignoring the texts. They’d have to cancel the party and he’d tell them later. The room, the world felt so empty. Cody had been such a big part of him he couldn’t imagine filling the hole that was now left. Dongwoon curled up in himself, crying himself to sleep.

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“Your room’s ready.” Alex said as he came down the stairs, finding Cody in tears on the couch.

He hesitated at first, contemplating going back upstairs to let Cody cry in peace. But something in him didn’t want to leave him alone. Slowly approaching, he crouched in front of Cody wiping the falling tears from his cheeks. More fell than he could wipe away, so he pulled Cody in, letting him cry into his chest.

Cody was too focused on releasing tears to realize that he was crying in a strange house on a guy that wasn’t his boyfriend, or even his friend. He let the tears pour onto him not thinking about why this guy would let him get that close to him. After a good long cry Cody pulled away meeting those green gems again, when it donned on him. He had seen Alex before. He saw him doing bike tricks a few times with some other guys in the neighborhood. He saw him helping his grandmother unload groceries from the car a few times. He even talked to him briefly once when Alex asked for directions. He remembered those forested eyes, eyes he got lost in for a moment. Dongwoon had been with him that day and mentioned that Alex looked at him funny. It started a bicker between the Cody and Dongwoon which was resolved by make out session in the kitchen. Even now Alex had that look, mixed with sympathy and sadness.

Looking at Alex now, so close, without Dongwoon’s arms around him to signal “he’s mine” made Cody feel awkward.  But Cody also remembered seeing Alex kissing a girl at the park, and helping another sneak out early in the morning as Cody headed to class.

 Alex wiped away the last few tears that stained Cody’s cheeks and smiled a crooked smile.

“Don’t cry,” he said in a rather deep voice with an accent that Cody could not detect. Cody sniffled still taken back by the kindness, and the beauty.  Alex pulled Cody up, leading him up the stairs into his bedroom. The room was less decorated than the rest of the house, and screamed young straight man. Playboy magazines laid pilled on the desk, with a calendar of a half girl on the wall. Alex didn’t blush at showing Cody his room. He room was neat and apart from the boyish fantasies of girls it was…well rounded.  A red guitar leaned against the wall next to a blue one. And beside the blue guitar was a medium sized wrapped box.

Cody made the assumption that it was a birthday present, either his or grandmother’s.  Alex’s eyes followed Cody’s to the wrapped box and he picked it up placing it on the bed, blushing. A white card on top read, “To Cody.”

“Uh, someone told me you were having a birthday tomorrow, happy birthday.”  Alex said with tomato red cheeks.

He had thought it would be too bold to get Cody a gift but he did anyway. He didn’t need to be reminded of Cody’s birthday he knew. 4 springs he had spent 4 doors down from Cody. He had heard the birthday shouts from friends, each time. He had even left an anonymous card one year. This year he took the plunge and got him a gift. It was his last chance. His grandma was moving and he’d no longer be 4 doors down each spring. He figured even if it embarrassed him, he wouldn’t see Cody again to feel the constant awkwardness.

Alex pushed the box towards Cody and repeated, happy birthday again, shaking moderately as he realized Cody would read the card in his house and he’d be left stuck with him in a wave of uncomfortable, nervous, awkward energy.

Cody stood stunned. A present? But why? They weren’t even friends.

“It’s nothing much. I didn’t really know what to get you.”

“You…” Cody struggled to find words. “Thank you, but why?”

“It’s in the card,” Alex answered fidgeting with a mini statue of the Eiffel tower, “but don’t read the card till late tomorrow.” Alex continued. He began to leave the room when he turned to Cody and said, “He’ll be back.”

“What do you mean,” Cody replied half sad, half shocked.

“No one in their right mind would leave a guy like, so he’ll be back.”

“How do you know?”

“I’ve seen Dongwoon around a few times and he seems pretty sane,” Alex replied with a smile before leaving.

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 Dongwoon fought the dreams of Cody that admitted his guilt. He should  havetalked it over with him. He should have waited for a reply before leaving. How much will he hate me? He questioned thinking about the future. Could they ever be in the same room again without feeling pain? What if Cody moved on, could Dongwoon handle it? He’s too perfect someone will take him away. The fear of Cody being with someone else began to etch into Dongwoon. If he was so scared of losing him, why was he letting him go?

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Cody couldn’t sleep. The curiosity of what was in that box and card taunted him. The ache of Dongwoon’s cutting cruelty forced him to toss and turn. He sat up after hours of trying to sleep and looked around the green eyed beauty’s room. The pictures of girls annoyed him. But he liked the posters of artists, he could recognize, though many of them he couldn’t. It was obvious that he and Alex were very different. The chances of their paths crossing had he not lived so close by was slim. A compilation of personalities stirred in the room: a teenage boy, a musical enthusiast, a pursing athletic, and a seasoned traveler. Alex had enough hobbies to keep him busy the rest of his life. Someone like him probably never got dumped. With his looks and interests he could find someone easy. Cody looked at the pictures blankly wondering what made Dongwoon love him in the first place.

Dongwoon had said Cody was beautiful, smart, funny, perfect. So why leave? If he was truly as good as Dongwoon said, why would he leave? The pain of Donwoon’s harshness flooded in Cody, seeping out tears again and the strange unromantic weather didn’t help. Everything was so wrong. Tomorrow was his birthday and it would be the worst day of his life.