1

“You were really good out there,” coach said, patting the back of Jongin’s helmet several times. “I don’t know where any of us would be without you. You truly are something.”

Hearing this made Jongin smile. He looked proud on the outside but on the inside, he wasn’t that proud of himself. He was used to all of this by now. He was used to the hugs and the high fives. Nothing felt new to him.

Chanyeol, quarterback of the football team, grabbed Jongin by the face and smacked his helmet hard against his.

“Keep it up,” he said. “Thanks to you, we won for the third time in a row! I’m taking you out for some bubble tea!”

Jongin smiled big but not big enough.

The next morning, he walked with weary, crusty eyes and dragged his feet over to his locker only to take out his pre-calculus textbook. He wiped the crust out of the corner of his eyes before shutting his locker door and turning around.

“Um, Kim Jongin?” A timid and soft voice had called out to him.

That voice caused him to jump back up against his locker. He got startled by the littlest things. Everyone in the halls turned to look at him. Their eyes were all directly on him.

He wasn’t expecting to see a girl appear in front of him. She was holding out a box wrapped in wrapping paper and on top was a container full of homemade chocolate chip cookies. He rolled his eyes, making sure no one else caught him doing so. He knew exactly why this girl was here, standing in front of him.

“Can you accept my offering?” The girl asked. She bowed her head and tried not to stare up at him till he took her gifts.

Jongin hesitated to take the box and container out of her hands. He wasn’t quite sure whether he should’ve accepted them, but everyone was staring. He had no choice. He thanked her, voice low for only her ears to hear.

“Are you busy after school?” She actually had the courage to ask. Jongin wasn’t expecting her to say anything else. “I’d like to know if you would like to go out…t-to the movies…”

Now, not only everyone’s eyes were on the two of them, but their ears were now dropping in on their conversation, as well.  Sehun and Zitao were the ones that paid more attention than the rest. Sehun was a tall, brown haired boy, yet he changed his hair color every so often. He was a junior, just like Jongin, and played wide receiver. Zitao, on the other hand, was the opposite. He was a centimeter shorter than Sehun and barely dyed his hair. He was also a junior and played as the kicker on the football team. The whole school called these two Taohun because they were always together and extremely close.

Jongin didn’t want to reject the girl, but everyone was staring. They wanted to see whether Jongin was going to be nice this time and take the girls offering or decline like he did with all the other girls. Jongin was well known for breaking girls’ hearts and being cruel to them but little did they know, he only acted that way when it came to peer pressure or when he was around his teammates. But no one cared. They still admired Jongin for his gorgeous looks and talents. Deep down, though, Jongin was a really nice guy.

“I want to take you to see a movie to celebrate your third win,” the girl said, looking elsewhere but Jongin’s eyes. She couldn’t make eye contact with him. “You can pick whatever movie you want, of course.”

“No,” he simply said a bit too low for anyone to hear. The word ‘no’ slid off his tongue so easily.

“What?”

“I said no,” Jongin restated, loud this time. He said it and he meant it. He didn’t just say no because everyone was watching and listening, but because he didn’t really know this girl.

Everyone gasped, agape. 

“Huh?” The girl heard him clearly, but she didn’t want to accept the truth.

“No means no. I’m sorry.” He looked down at the gifts she had handed him. As much as he wanted to try one of those homemade chocolate chip cookies of hers, he knew he couldn’t. He glanced at the wrapped up box underneath it. He had no idea what was inside but he knew not to worry too much. He was going to throw it out anyway, along with the rest of the gifts girls had given him, as soon as he got home.

“B-but why?” The girl’s voice sounded hoarse. Jongin didn’t know that she was about to cry, yet there was an obvious sign.

“You’re nowhere close to being my ideal type,” he said.

Those harsh words pierced through the girl’s chest. Just hearing those words made her break down in tears. It took Jongin a while to feel bad for her. He didn’t mean to make her cry. He wasn’t even expecting her to cry in front of him. This all looked a bit too familiar. He had been in her shoes plenty times before in middle school. He would get rejected by the prettiest girls in school for no apparent reason. The girls would smack him across the face or spit their piece of gum out at him. He would cry all the way home and wouldn’t eat dinner that night. He knew exactly how the girl crying in front of him felt. She had every reason to cry. She had every right to get upset as well. Those girls that rejected him back then were being unfair and now, he was turning into one of them. He was being unfair.

Jongin wanted to pat her on the back for at least having the courage to come up to him, but he couldn’t even do that.  He opened his mouth, but couldn’t get one single word out. He didn’t know what to say. Taohun started clapping for him and soon, everyone started doing the same. Why were they clapping for him? How could they be proud of him for doing something like this? He most certainly wasn’t proud of this at all. Not one single bit.

An arm swung around his neck. He turned his head to see that it was Sehun’s.

“See, he said no,” Sehun said to the girl. He snatched both boxes out from Jongin’s hands and gave the container of cookies to Tao. “Now, Scram!”

The girl did exactly as Sehun told her to do. She ran off with her hands over her face and tears rolling down her pale cheeks. Jongin felt like he committed the most heinous crime ever and should’ve been sentenced to death for it.

“Thanks, hyung,” Sehun said, smiling. He ripped off the wrapping paper on the wrapped up box and opened its lid. Inside contained a chocolate cake iced with light blue icing, Jongin’s favorite color. Chocolate was his favorite, too. The cake read ‘Congratulations, Kim Jongin!’ in big yellow letters. Reading it made Jongin close to tears. Now, he really felt like the biggest douche bag in the whole entire school. He wouldn't be surprised if he really was.

Sehun scooped some blue icing off with his index finger, smudging the yellow words ‘Kim’ and ‘Jong’ into an ugly grey color. “Mmm, this is pretty good,” he said, the icing off his finger. He used the same finger to scoop up some more icing but instead of tasting it for the second time, he let Tao it off. Seeing them exchange the same saliva made Jongin cringe.

He watched as they walked off with his gifts. He paid close attention to Sehun who noticed a little sticky note on the side of the box. He ripped off the sticky and tossed it out into the nearest trash cans.

Jongin was starting to regret everything. He regretted saying no to the poor girl and making her cry. He wished the thought of him throwing out that box as soon as he got home never came to mind. He wished he could take a bite out of one of her homemade cookies. He also wished he could thank her and hug her. But the one thing he really wished he could've done was say sorry.