Chapter 9: you ing did not. this is too much, i can't handle this right now because the music references and the build and the ugly and the promise and the sheer 'holy ' you packed into this piece seriously has me jittering in my chair nervously because wow.
but seriously, you can't do this to me, i can't deal. is this how you felt reading the update because if so, i apologize and thank you for full on body slamming me with this masterpiece. i don't care what you say about who write better and what not, you did a ing brilliant job on this one and i am saying a lot and i am pretty sure that i might have just scared you a bit so i am sorry but not really because-- i don't even have the words right now.
my absolute favorite, well the whole bloody thing is my favorite, but those last three lines,
'this is the path of smiling misery'- i so relate, can see how this so truthfully sums up the complete chapter of part four in such simplistically beautiful words.
'this is the antedate losing focus for the adagio upcoming'- this is quite possibly my favorite out of the favorites. the complexity of the terms used, the almost foreboding in the losing focus. this is that moment i have been trying to capture throughout this entire story, that millisecond stutter midway through an inhale or the tender grit of such raw emotion breaking open in a sincere heart. i just. i am so proud of you, really, because this is so beautiful, all of it.
'this is the way we are'- so true yet simple. such a punch in the gut after climbing through the broken down roller coaster maintenance stairs that this poem was in it's entirety. so matter of fact and in your face and yet a gentle admittance. ugh. just ugh.
there is so much i want to say, but most of all is that i am ING ECSTATIC that you are writing again and the fact that it is in it's own way a reply to anchor has me floored and itching to write the next part. this will be the fuel for my fire. i love you, pho.
Chapter 5: i think i just died. this was so effing powerful. i love it. i will have to come back and tell you my favorites but i couldn't just leave it hanging.
Chapter 3: i just. i just can't. i have been seduced by your poem. this is just too much. i am going to have to come back to this one. i love it too much to just spend a few moments. i need to digest it. i need to wallow in it, marinate.
Chapter 2: this one kind of killed me. i can't even think of choosing lines. this entire poem is so heart wrenching. and real. if anyone tells you that this poem is too much, or wrong, tell them to shut the bleep up. i know so many people that could so easily relate to the topic and the rawness that your words conjure here. okay, i lied, just one line.
'sweet, delicious pain that brings happiness of strong, clean steps and now effortlessly charismatic stares.'- uh. that feeling of breaking yourself down to make yourself into a completely different person, of feeling so cherished for fitting the ideals of others. the pull to continue self destruction just so you can seek that ultimately hollow fulfillment of being accepted and considered normal. i just can't. seriously about to cry here. too much, honey. but definitely this needed to be written. i don't want to like this as much as i do.
Chapter 1: mk, picking my favorite lines. bear with me here. i am trying to refrain from going line by line. ugh.
'i hope you love him like i dream of us to do'- wow. this is so simple but reveals so much. the emotion of loving someone enough to let them go, to let them find what they truly need even if it isn't you, to wish them happy. this is such a selfless and wise moment. i hope i can love like this one day.
'emptiness accompanies the remnants sometime after the stars wink and before they bid adieu'- such an intricate line. it grabbed me by the throat, made me want to keep reading. it was almost foreboding, almost the complete poem summed up in one line. so powerful, so beautiful.
'i could camp in your collarbones, count the dark scars like constellations, and never get tired of hearing melodies from an ago rip of class and elegance'- just. let me break this down. to be part of someone else's body, to see their weaknesses as beauty and character instead of ugliness. just, ugh. i am done. i can't anymore. just. ugh.
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