Jaejoong fidgeting nervously with his disguise, heart slamming against his rib cage as he searched the isle for any people. The last thing he needed was to be spotted by someone he knew, or worse - fans. He could see it now; they'd whip out their phones and start snapping pictures and he'd never be able to live it down.

After quickly looking around for a few minutes, he declared it safe and turned back to the shelf in front of him. His frantic eyes scanned the titles of various boxes and tubes, his cheeks flushing bright red at some of the brand names.

Gulping, Jaejoong hesitantly reached out with a shaky hand and grasped a random bottle.

WARM LOVIN’
LIQUID PERSONAL LUBRICANT
WARM AND SILKY ON CONTACT
ENHANCES INTIMACY

He hurriedly threw the lube into his cart, his head dipping down in embarrassment as an old woman passed by, her eyes twinkling knowingly as she snickered.

"It’s alright, son." She grinned, pausing to pick up a pack of cherry flavoured condoms. "My husband and I use that brand all the time, works real nice. It doesn’t taste all that bad either."

Jaejoong blanched, his face turning green at the mental image of old people having what they thought was . He was half tempted to put the bottle back when she told him that they used it as well. But he was too excited to really care at this point. No old woman was going to stop him from getting ed by Yunho, no matter how unappealing the mental images were.

She opened to say something again, possibly a recommendation, but Jaejoong rushed away before she could. He was already disturbed enough for one day.

Once he reached the counter, Jaejoong hastily slammed his shopping basket down, startling the poor cashier. Normally he would have apologized, but he was so damn he didn’t give a . erted old women might have also played a part.

When he didn’t apologize for startling her, the cashier shot him a dirty look and preceded to scan all of his items slowly, just to mess with him. Jaejoong’s eyes flicked from his wrist watch to the scarce amount of people around him, his foot tapping against the tiles impatiently.

"Could you hurry it up?"

The girl snorted, nodding jerkily as she picked up the pace, if only by a little. It wasn’t really an improvement at all.

He was starting to get antsy. He had to get back home before someone noticed he was gone and it was starting to near lunch time, which meant more people. His stomach dropped at the thought of being spotted by someone who’d report it to the media.

He was tense and edgy when the girl finally got to the last item he had in his basket - the lube. Instantly her face lit up in amusement and Jaejoong was sure he heard a faint snicker that she couldn’t stifle. Shooting him a grin, she placed it into a small bag of its own before ringing up the items.

"That’ll be $25.50," she said, hand extending to take his card. She swiped it before having him sign the receipt. He shoved the receipt at her and scooped up his bags, taking care at hiding the bag with lube inside one of the other’s. He was about to walk away when the girl’s awed voice stopped him, "K-Kim Jaejoong?"

Jaejoong tensed, head turning to look at the girl from behind his sunglasses. Her wide eyes stared at him in disbelief and was gaping. Not waiting for a reaction, Jaejoong turned and ran out of the store, flustered as the girl working the cash register squealed in happiness.

'...'

♦ ♦ ♦

The Next Day - Evening News

"Today we received a rather interesting call. From who we cannot say, but she claims to have been working the cash register at a store when a customer came up to her. At first she wasn’t sure of who they were, but she later found out that it was Kim Jaejoong, a member of the popular boy band DBSK.

"This wouldn’t be shocking considering how much Jaejoong-sshi loves to shop, but one of his purchases was rather surprising. It’s claimed that one of Jaejoong-sshi’s purchases was WARM LOVIN’ lubricant."

Yoochun, Changmin, and Junsu looked at the t.v. screen before shooting suspicious glances at Jaejoong and Yunho, who were bright red and trying to sink into the couch.

"What could this mean? Does Jaejoong-sshi have a secret lover? Does this prove YunJae? Many believe it does."

Jaejoong groaned and wanted to die.

"Why am I always the one getting caught?"