it's not that I don't know... I do.

it's not that I don't care... I do.

I'm just getting tired of it...

why?

because I know and care more than you know...

"Eve! EEEVE!!!" a male's voice woke Eve up from her peaceful daydreaming session. the girl who heard her name looked up, and blinked a few times, trying to figure out the face of the voice owner as the scorching sunlight that beamed through the glass windows were bright enough to blind her corneas, preventing her from seeing the guy who just called her name. her lips suddenly turned into  cute pout as she realized who was the guy who called her just then. Kim Sunggyu. the leader of the famous Korean boy group with a hell lot of fans, Infinite, and also her best friend of 4 years. to be honest, she liked him a lot. she liked him not only as a friend, but as a woman to a man. but what could she say? he wouldn’t like her back now, would he? after all, she just knew that he never sees her as a woman. why? just look at her: the boyish girl who never wears skirts and the kind that wouldn’t care about that thing called ‘image’; how on earth would the romanticist Kim Sunggyu fall for her?

"daydreaming again? you've been doing that a lot recently," he asked in a worried tone. Eve shrugged and rested her back to the chair she was sitting on.

"you noticed?" she asked back in a low tone "I thought nobody would care..."

Sunggyu tilted his head and lifted his shoulders in an I-don't-know manner before pulling a chair closer and sat on it, facing her directly. Eve lifted her head only to meet eyes with him, but it didn't last long, since she turned her eyes to the floor again not more than 10 seconds later.

"I cared," he stated, emphasizing on the word ‘I’, earning a sarcastic chuckle from her "now tell me, what's wrong?" Eve's face-which was actually turning a bit brighter after his arrival-turned dark.

“nothing.” She answered coldly “I have nothing wrong.” then it was is turn to let out a sarcastic chuckle. he knew her too well to be deceived by her pathetic lies. he knew her antics and even her ways of thinking are all at the back of his head.

“ ‘nothing’?” he repeated her words in a sarcastic questioning tone ”Eve, do you think I can’t see it?” she gathered her courage to look up and met his eyes, noticing that his sarcastic tone was now replaced with the sound of hurt. ‘see what?’ she questioned with her eyes. yet, he was still able to understand.

“for goodness sake, Eve, we’ve known each other since I could remember, and yet you still underestimate me?!” Eve nearly jumped out of her chair after hearing Sunggyu’s raise of tone. at least to her, Sunggyu sounded like he was abut to cry now, not realizing that she was staring at him the whole time, trying to send him the message that she kept shut for his sake. “I know you have something in mind, I just know it! I’ve always shared my burdens with you, now won’t you care to share yours? what is it? tell me!”
’you’
Eve bit her lower lip as her thought barely escaped . she calmed herself down before answering, trying to maintain her cold tone to hide her thoughts that was about to explode.
”nothing. I already said it’s nothing, Sunggyu. why do you still deny?” she said as she lowered her head, unable to face his sad eyes. Eve knew she wouldn’t be able to escape him, he knew her too well. from which bus she rode everyday to work, to what kind of perfume she likes, it was all a piece of cake to him. no one in the whole world knew her better than him, not even her parents or family members. just like how she was-and still is-to him.
”I know you’re lying,” he lowered his tone a bit “but I admire your stubbornness, still keeping it to yourself up until now…” he let out a sigh before he continued “and until this point, you won’t even going to tell me any slight bit of it?”

‘if only I can, Sungie… if only I can…’ she thought. well sure he was her best friend and all, but there are things she just didn’t want him to know… there are things she wanted to hide from him, only to at least delay his pain… she knew something he didn’t, and she wanted it to be as it is forever…

- - -

“oh my gosh, you did what?!”
the sudden shouting stopped Eve’s step. it was lunch break, and she was in Woolim Entertainment’s hallways, on her way to meet up with her best friends, the boys from Infinite. yes, she worked there. Eve worked as the only female who managed to do both jobs as a choreographer and dance trainer for the debuting classes. dressed in her favorite lime-colored top and her comfy black leggings, she was feeling really great, proved by the fact that she was leaping with glee along the hallways, and also another fact that she actually greeted everyone she passed.
”you heard me, I’m dating Sunggyu oppa,” another female voice was heard just as Eve was about to make the whole dang of it and just walk away. she didn’t know about the previous one, but this voice was highly familiar to her ears.
she took a few steps back before moving her head from side to side and putting on her ears in its highest sensitivity mode. she noticed that the voice came from one of the practice rooms near her. good thing the door wasn’t closed too tight so she can still peek inside.

“Eunji-ah, are you serious?” Eve’s eyes widen. yep, her suspicions were right. she hoped it wasn’t, but it was.
”of course I am! are you guys underestimating me just now?” the ‘Eunji’ girl yelled at her two slack-jawed friends, giving them such a nasty look.
Kang Eunji, her best friend-Kim Sunggyu-‘s new girlfriend. they had been dating for a week, and as far as she knew, Eunji was a nice girl, being really sweet and charming, Eve originally thought that she was the description of a perfect girlfriend, and she fully supported her best friend’s relationship with her. but what she saw just then stated the exact opposite of what she-and apparently all of the Infinite members-knew. the Eunji she saw was a total arrogant, misbehaving that she just wanted to slap.
Eve sighed as she turned around, not wanting to hear anymore of the conversation inside. she knew she wouldn’t be able to stand watching her best friend happily having his arms around that fake , unaware about the real her. Eve shook any last bits of negative thoughts from her head before continuing on her way. but another sentence stopped her.
”but you’re not going to play around with this one, right?”
”yeah, it’s Infinite’s Sunggyu we’re talking about!”
Eve gulped. wasn’t witnessing Sunggyu’s sweet girlfriend turning into an evil witch in front o her own eyes enough? now she has to bear with the fact that she was now carrying another secret; about Eunji actually being a playgirl that plays around with guys? she held her breath as she waited for Eunji to answer, her fingers crossed, hoping that her bad thoughts would not come true.
”are you guys out of your minds? of course I’m not just playing around with this one,” Eve let out a soft sigh of relief, but the emphasizing in ‘just’ didn’t make her any less anxious than before to hear the continual of Eunji’s words.
”I’m using him just now. do you think I’ll just let go of a famous boyfriend like that without making myself known first?”
there goes Eve’s heart and soul. how can she face Sunggyu now? she knew a way-which she’s still unsure of, which was something about keeping Eunji’s secret Identity a secret, at least giving her some time to realize what a sweetheart Sunggyu is, and maybe she’ll fall for him. things like that happen, right? but even if she wouldn’t, at least Sunggyu wouldn’t have to bear the pain anytime soon, right? so it’s going to be fine, right?
but of course, it wasn’t. it wasn’t right in the first place, and it’s never going to be. Eunji never realized how great Sunggyu is as a boyfriend, and also as a protector. she never did from the start, and she never will, apparently. Eve had to watch her best friend’s break down, how he kept his tears in the whole time his dongsaengs were around, just to prevent them from worrying nonsense about him. automatically, Eve was the only one there for him. she told Sunggyu she’ll be his shield forever, she promised herself that she will protect him whatever may happen. strange thing to do when it was supposed to be the opposite, but she didn’t care. her love for him has conquered it all.

- - -

she had wished that Eunji would be the first and the last, but it seemed that the gods didn’t approve of it. girls after girls came, but not one of them cared about how his heart broke every time they dumped him like useless trash after they made sure to use him all to the roots. and every time, Eve made sure that her promise was fulfilled by being a bystander, watching over Sunggyu, making sure that he recovers from all the heart breaks he has to bear. even though she’s growing tired of it, she wasn’t the type that would give up on her promises easily.
she really wished that it will all stop anytime soon, but it seemed that another one of her prayers wasn’t answered. Sunggyu was dating another girl recently, and Eve just knew that this one wasn’t any different form the previous ones. this girl was called Min Sejin, a trainee in WME, and she just reminded her more and more about Sunggyu’s first girlfriend, Eunji, who was also a trainee back then.
and same as then, Eve couldn’t stand watching Sunggyu and Sejin, while knowing that she would end up hurting him like all the others. She wanted so bad to yell at Sunggyu and scold him for ever making the same mistakes over and over for years, but she just couldn’t. Sunggyu was just too kind-hearted to hate other people even after they’ve hurt him like hell.

Eve’s brown eyes trailed Sunggyu’s steps as he entered the room with a wide smile on his lips. it was lunch break, and she was just lazily hanging around in one of the tables in the administration office, while all of her colleagues immediately rushed out to the cafeteria a second after the bell rang. Eve-however-chose to put on her grumpy face and laid her head on top of the table, trying to look as uninterested as she could.

”laziness is a bad habit you shouldn’t keep, ms. I-miss-lunch-just-to-laze-around,” was Sunggyu’s first words.
it has been three days or so since the day they last talked-the one where they had their little quarrel-and Sunggyu seemed to be in a very good mood today, for initiating the conversation first. Eve only looked up for a bit, surprised as he spoke to her in a very friendly manner after they had a fight a few days back. she nodded once and laid her head back down again.

 “leave me alone, would you? I’m not in the mood right now, mr. Choi is killing me with the deadline. I just want to have a nice nap right now; maybe the choreographies will appear in my dreams…”

just when she was about to lay her head down again, she felt a painful sting on her forehead. In a flash, Eve looked up while covering her previously flicked forehead, lips pouting to the certain being that had just ignited her annoyance, only to find him smiling to her foolishly.

“ouch! what was that for?” she yelled. he only managed to let out another foolish smile before answering

“choreographies won’t appear in dreams, fyi. now up; rise and shine sleepyhead!” he pulled one of her arms to get her up. it was no use, since the still-lazy Eve was nowhere near weak, even when she’s tired. And she managed to pull her arms back from him, before continuously hitting his arm out of annoyance.

“oh, you are so annoying!” she said with a pause and a hit between every word. but even though she used her annoyed tone, she was actually chuckling while she hits.

even though it hurts, Sunggyu could only laugh. it has been quite a while since he saw her as happy as she was now. so to him, a little painful hitting was nothing.

“you are annoying too!” he said in the exact same tone as she did, while getting his revenge by smacking her head.

they both laughed. they laughed as they didn’t in quite a while. they laughed just like the old times they both remembered well. they laughed like that time when all the complicated problems haven’t even been planned. Eve and Sunggyu spent almost five full minutes of laughing before they finally stopped out of exhaustion. as they both tried to control their breaths, a mysterious force made Eve moved her gaze to Sunggyu, who-to her surprise-was also looking back at her. They stayed still for a few seconds before he smiled gently (and dreamily) at her. she has no choice other than smiling back. for a second there, both of them felt that everything was so right, and the world melted away behind their backs.

“Sunggyu…” she called. to be honest, she wasn’t even brave enough to tell him anything yet, but she was tired of it now, and that beats everything. she was tired of seeing him being hurt; she was tired of him pretending to be strong; she was tired of just being a bystander. not that she was tired of being his ‘shield’, no. she was just tired of only being his shield. she wanted to be more than that.

“yes?” Eve’s heart sunk. can she tell him the truth? will he be mad? will he disbelieve her? what if he chooses his girlfriend over her? what if this? what if that? she couldn’t help but to think of the consequences of her act.

“I-I was wondering if…”

“uh-huh…”
”Iwaswonderingifyoucanbreakupwithyourgirlfriend,” scared that she will lose her courage, Eve spoke very rapidly, nobody could understand what she was saying. Sunggyu raised one of his eyebrows.

“what? slow down, I can’t understand you…” he told her. Eve cursed inside; does that mean she has to repeat her words all over? seems like it. she took a deep breath to calm herself and said

“I-I was wondering… if y-you would… b-break up w-with your g-girlfriend…” she managed to finally say it clearly after a few stutters; she should be relieved to finally have said it out loud, but the expression on Sunggyu’s face made her feel the opposite. sure she was expecting that expression, but that didn’t mean that she wished for it.

“you mean Sejin?”

‘is there any other?’ Eve thought. and it seemed that she has sent that thought to Sunggyu, since he shortly answered

“why?”

a single boom and there goes her nine lives. what should she answer to this one? she chickened out to tell him the truth. how can she say that his current girlfriend is just another one of those girls playing around with him? Eve’s lips have never been as locked as it is now. at this point, she would seriously have preferred to kill herself, but she knew for sure that’s not going to work. her courage has dried out just for asking him to break up with Sejin. oh, she couldn’t and wouldn’t imagine what she looked like in Sunggyu’s head right now.

“why?” he repeated. oh dang, she has to think of a way to escape, because there’s no turning back now, would it?

“why, Eve? why should I break up with my girlfriend? tell me the reason,” he demanded. Eve bit her lower lip hard, as it was trembling so hard as Sunggyu stepped closer and closer to her, slowly pinning her to the table behind her. oh gosh, she has to think of something, and fast “why?”

“be-because…”

“WHY?!”

“BECAUSE I LIKE YOU, ALRIGHT!!”

there you go. she didn’t tell him the real reason, did she? and at least she wasn’t lying. but realizing what she had said, Eve’s eyes widened as wide as it has ever gotten in all the years of her life. Putting both of her hands over , she took a few steps back. Sunggyu too, was shocked, terribly. His best friend of 4 years suddenly declared her love to him? That’s a lot to digest. So he to, took a few steps back, speechless.

“you…”

“Sungie, I-I didn’t mean that…”

“do you know what you’ve just said?”

“no, I-I…”

“stupid girl… you should’ve told me earlier,” Sunggyu muttered.

“Sunggyu, no, I didn’t-… what?”

realizing what he muttered just then, Eve was drowned in confusion. ‘you should’ve told me before’, now what does that mean? But he just looked up, and smiled.

“if you just told me a bit earlier, I should have no problem rejecting Sejin,” he explained. But Eve still couldn’t get anything he said into her head.

“wait, wh-…what are you saying?”

“I like you too, babo,” he said with a smile. just then, all of it seemed so clear to her. she understood everything that she has always been confused about all this time. but before she has any chance to speak, Sunggyu pulled her by the hand into a sweet, tender, loving kiss. Eve couldn’t resist. I mean, how could she? it was what she had been dreaming of for years!

the kiss stayed for a few minutes before they parted.

“I know that was your first kiss~…” he teased. Eve blushed madly as what he said was true.

“oh, shut up,” so, in trial of hiding the bright red tints on her cheeks, she pulled him again for a second kiss.

meanwhile…

“hyung, get off! I can’t see!”

“ouch! You’re stepping on my foot!”

“hey, hey, have they finished?”

“oh, shut up!”

male voices could be heard quite clearly coming from the back of the door. yep, you’ve guessed right, those were the voices of the members of Infinite, peeking around, invading their leader’s personal moment. 

as Sunggyu and Eve pulled apart for the second time, they clearly noticed the stalkers’ presence from the back of the door, and the new couple decided to pull a little prank on them.

“Eve-ah~… did I accidentally bite your lips while we were kissing just then?” Sunggyu said with a made up worried tone. Eve immediately understood what he was up to, and played along.

“oh yes you did… it hurts~…” she whined. but inside, she was laughing out loud.

“oh my, I’m so sorry… what can I do? I’m not that good at kissing…”

“hmmm… maybe you should practice more!”

“oh yeah, why didn’t I think of that?! maybe I can ask my GROUP MEMBERS to help me practice!” as Sunggyu emphasized on ‘group members’, suddenly the door flung open, and there, stood the pouty Sungjong, and behind him was the rest of the members of Infinite, halfway to breaking into the room.

“NOOO!!! HYUNG YOU PROMISED NOT TO PLAY KISSING ANYMORE!!!” Sungjong protested.

without him realizing, his reaction was the exact one Sunggyu was expecting. he turned his back round with a mischievous smile on his lips, and behind him was Eve-who was having a hard time holding her laughter. finally realizing what their leader has been up to the whole time, the members’ faces turned horror.