Byunghun groaned. Not this again… He hastily got up from the bed and weakly raced to the bathroom, collapsing in front of the toilet. The familiar sensation in his stomach kicked in, and he found himself vomiting. His throat burned, and he wiped his mouth with a pant as he flushed the toilet, putting the seat down and plopping himself on top of it. This would be the ninth morning in a row he woke up to the feeling of wanting to vomit…and he didn't consider that normal. The first few times, he had assumed it was just something he ate. But this was starting to get ridiculous. Jonghyun always pestered him about going to the doctor. Yeah, like he needed some old man to tell him what was wrong with him. He convinced himself that this was just a phase. That it was something that would go away. 

"Hyung." Jonghyun said, as Byunghun exited the bathroom after he finished washing up, and walked back into his room. Byunghun ignored him, laying down on his stomach and burying his face in the pillow. 

"Hyung, you can't keep doing this. I'm taking you to the doctor this afternoon." Jonghyun warned, leaning against the doorway. 

"Leave me alone, Jong. I'm fine." Byunghun mumbled, closing his eyes as he tried to fall back in the rhythm of sleep. But his stomach felt weird after he vomited, and his senses wouldn't calm down. He felt over-sensitive to everything. He found that odd as well; a cut seemed to hurt even more nowadays. People would always talk so much louder than he remembered. His mood swings increased, and they were extreme to whatever he was feeling. If he was happy, it was an over-exaggerated happiness. If he was sad, he was depressed. Suicidal, sometimes. Rarely, there was something in between. 

Jonghyun furrowed his brows, with worry. Byunghun would never say how much it hurt, or if it hurt at all. Byunghun wouldn't ever disclose if he was even okay, he would always say he was fine no matter what. Ever since his parents died, he'd been this way. That was almost six months ago, and of course, Jonghyun understood the kind of emotional trauma that came with a death of loved ones. Especially if they were your parents. When he first heard the news, he knew Byunghun would be upset. But he definitely didn't expect this--Byunghun to completely isolate himself from everyone and anyone. Jonghyun, and the rest of Byunghun's friends tried to help him as much as they could, but it was as if the more they pushed, the farther he pushed them away. Jonghyun was, more or less, Byunghun's closest friend, but even that title didn't encourage Byunghun to talk. 

Jonghyun contemplated on whether or not he should say what was on his mind. Byunghun would, with no doubt, react to it badly. Especially when he was in a state like this. But Jonghyun felt like it had to be said. Beside, that person might be the only person on this planet who could help Byunghun right now. 

"You know, hyung…Chanhee always knew how to deal with you when you weren't feeling well, and when you were sad." 

Byunghun went rigid. 

"I still have his number. I could have him over in less than ten minutes." 

Jonghyun didn't know what to make of the silence. It was ironically deafening. 

"Choi Jonghyun. Don't mention that bastard's name to me again. I don't need him, and he's made it clear that he doesn't need me, so just leave it alone. Just shut the hell up and leave me alone!" Byunghun shouted. Jonghyun gulped, wincing slightly at Byunghun's raised voice. With a sigh, he departed the room and walked down the hall, to his own room. 

Chanhee would know what to do, but Jonghyun didn't want to contact him and risk Byunghun finding out. Byunghun was extremely sensitive of the subject of that boy, even more so now. The two had dated for almost two years, but had separated four months ago. It was Chanhee that broke it off, because of how Byunghun was acting. Jonghyun admit, Byunghun four months ago was hell. His parents' death was still so fresh back then, and it was obvious Byunghun didn't know of the right way to deal with it. So, he acted out. He became so cold, even to Chanhee. He was silent, in his own world. All he was interested in was sleeping. But, he wouldn't talk to anyone about it, not even Chanhee. Byunghun's behaviour gradually got worse. He completely shut Chanhee out of his life. And not only Chanhee, but also all of his friends. He didn't reply to their messages, return their calls. He wouldn't even talk to them when they came to see him. 

Jonghyun could kind of understand why Chanhee would break it off with Byunghun. And if the circumstances were different, Byunghun would also understand. How could a person maintain a relationship if the other had completely given up on everything? 

From what Jonghyun understood, what irked Byunghun was that Chanhee had promised to be there for him, through everything. Chanhee had promised that no matter what, nothing could ever rip them apart, and that he would stay by Byunghun's side for the rest of his life. And when Chanhee had decided to give up on him, Byunghun got…angry. Hurt. And even worse, disappointed. 

It had been four months now, and Byunghun rarely ever talked about it anymore. Not that he did much before, but he kept his mouth shut all the time about Chanhee. Speaking Chanhee's name in front of Byunghun was pretty much taboo. 

Meanwhile, in Byunghun's room, soft sobs could be heard. Byunghun cried. He himself wasn't sure why he was crying, but he felt the tears stream down his face regardless. Everything was breaking apart, and he didn't know how much longer he could stand to live his life. 

Everyone would be so much happier if I wasn't here…Everyone would be happier with me gone…