If - English version

Did it pass by? Our Love?

Is it just a heart-breaking memory?

It's turning around... Your heart... Can't I catch it with my tears?

My love, I love you, I love you...Are you listening?

My love... Don't forget... Don't erase... Our love...

Can you see my tears? I long for you all day

My heart beat when we kissed but now it's all a memory

My love I love you, I love you... Are you listening?

My love, don’t forget. Don’t erase... our love...

Every day I long for you. That's how my day goes by. Where are you?

I'm sorry I'm sorry that I can't forget you...

My love, come back to me... Don't leave my side, please...

They clapped and cheered for me after singing the song. I wiped my tears but smiled at the crowd. Some shouted ‘Why are you being emotional?’ I answered through my mind. ‘It’s because I’m thinking of her.’

I reached my dream. I’m very thankful. I’m very happy. My parents are proud of me and that’s a great feeling. But somehow, I feel lonely. I feel incomplete. Every single time, I think of you. You don’t know it. I got news that your mom died. I feel bad.

“You should stop your relationship with her, Taeyeon.” My mom said.

“I don’t want! I love her!”

“That is an order from your manager! You must do it!”

“No.” I’m not gonna give up on Jessica that easy. I love her.

“She’ll lose her job. You’ll lose your job.”

What should I do? I will never forgive myself if Jessica lose her job; her dream. I don’t want to lose her too. I kept silent, unsure of what to say.

“Remember, this is your dream. This is her dream as well. You don’t want to lose it, do you? So, think about it.”

“No mom. I won’t break up with her.”

 “Break up with her. Or you’ll lose ME and your dream?” I was shocked by her words. I didn't expect her to let me choose over you and her.

The day I broke up with you is such a big mistake, yet a right decision. I can’t help but cry all night. I can’t sleep, wondering if you’re okay. I can’t eat well. I know I didn’t explain it well. The reason is I can’t stand it. I don’t want to see your tears falling because of me. I can’t because it hurts me. If you misunderstood my decision, are you willing to listen? If you’re mad, are you willing to give us a chance? I’m ready for everything. I don’t care if I lose my career. Are you willing to do the same?

“I have my decision.”

“Then what is it?” My mom asked, curious of what my decision is.

“I’ll break up with her.”

“Good.” She smiled. I cried inside.

I bowed and went backstage. Then, I saw you. After a long time not seeing each other, it made me happy and at the same time sad. I miss your smile. I miss your eyes. I miss your laugh. I miss being with you. I miss your hugs. I miss your kisses. I miss everything about you.

“Jessica.” I called you, hoping I would see your smile again. You turned around and smiled at me.

Your smile which makes my heart beats fast. You still have this effect on me.

“Yes?”

Can I hug you? I thought. After all, I can’t just ask her that. “Good luck.” I said.

“Thank you.” You replied. I take in a deep breath and let it out. I wanted to say I miss you but I’m afraid of the answer. “You sang the song well.” You complimented.

My heart jumped, I smiled. “Thanks. I’ll listen backstage. Good luck again.”

You climbed up on the stage. I can hear people yelling your name. It made me smile. You’re now a famous singer and I’m proud of you. I’m happy that you reached your dream. You begin to sing and you’re voice was perfect. But my tears begin to fall. You’re singing that song for me, aren’t you? Or I am just overacting? The lyrics seem to answer all my questions. I sighed. I deserve this. Once you’re done singing, I waited until you got down. That’s it, our eyes met once again.

“You were great.” I said. Is that song for me? I wanted to ask, but no.

“Thank you.” You said.

I nodded. “So, I gotta go. Take care.” And then I pretended to leave.

You directly went to the makeup room while I follow. I think this is the right time to explain myself well.

I was about to knock when I heard a voice talking to you. I guess this is not the right time?

“Jessica, you did well.” I heard her manager, Yuri, said.

“Thanks, Yuri.”

“I heard Taeyeon cried when she performed.” How did she know that I cried? I shrugged. Maybe she watched me.

“I don’t care.” I can feel my heart sinking. That’s it. You don’t care about me anymore. ”You know that she always become emotional when it comes to sad songs.” No, I cried because I was thinking of you.

“I know you care.” Please say yes.

“I don’t care.”

“She sang I love you.”

“So what?” I can’t stand your replies anymore. I think I must leave this place soon. I was about to walk away when I heard Yuri talk again.

“If she asked for your forgiveness, would you forgive her? If ever she asked you to be her girlfriend again, would you accept?” She knows about our past relationship? What will you say, Jessica? Should I wait for your answer? I’m curious. I’m afraid.

“No.” You said. My tears begin to fall.

“Why?”

“The reason is she broke my heart. She didn’t fight for me. Why would I forgive her? Although what she did is right, I will not forgive her. I am envious. She still has her mother, unlike me. I lost my mother.” I run away. Now I know that you will never forgive me. I understand. Now I know that you’re angry. I understand. I deserve this. I am too late to explain my reason further.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS? ANY SUGGESTIONS? IS THE STORY CLEAR? PLEASE TELL ME. I'M NOT SATISFIED. T^T