It’s been a Six years since he’s gone.. I tried to forget him. I tried even harder.. but, his face keeps appearing in my mind, in my dreams, and in my reality. what’s wrong with me? everytimes I found something fun to do, that what I was did with him back then. how I wish I could forget him. hey wait, don’t get me wrong. I did loved him. even now  I still love him. it just I want to distract my mind for awhile. until he come back again to  me. If he really will come back to me.

he just said ‘Goodbye’. haha so easy to say goodbye,isn’t it? while me? as easy as I cut my legs out. so easy like I crawling in the obscure darkness, so dark until I can’t see anything.

but the thing was, I don’t want to erase the memories of him, it’s too beautiful yet terribly hurting.

we were so perfect together. people were jealous of us. we were not that kind of sweet and cheesy couple. what we did back then were teasing each other, bullying each other (he’s the one who bullied me the most), fighting, yelling each other, but of course, we loved each other as much as we loved sushi. talking about sushi, I remember our first date, we was so clueless about where we should eat. then sushi flashed in my mind. I was have no idea that he loved sushi too!

we have known each other better since that day. we’re getting closer day by day. until people said now one can’t separate us.

He loved to call me when I sleep. he said that I spend my time too much for sleeping. he also often to poked my cheek when I asleep. hah! what a silly boy.

one important thing about Kim Jongin. he was a playboy. you can’t even count how many girls he had flirted to before. even when he’s already with me! me, his girlfriend! I always mad at him when he start to flirt around. but guess what he said? “how playboy the man is there's always someone they truly love and mine is you” at first, I didn’t believe what he said.its a playboy’s words after all. maybe he did say that words to the other girls before. but, it surprised me, I’m the only girl received that words from him. I didn’t know what to do back then. Yes, I’m happy. of course. I loved him that much and he did too. but half of me was worrying about something.

day by day has passed. college took our life. he was too busy to talking to me. so did I.

we barely talked to each other. It worried me. how if we start to forget about each other?

one day, he texted me, he said we needed to take a walk. I sensed something will happen.

we visited an amusement park, he held my arm so tightly, like I will run away from him.

he took me to ride anything in that park. but he barely said a word. when it’s getting late, we decided to go back home. he drove me home, when I’m about to say goodbye to him. he hugged me. so tightly. I was confused. he has never been like that before. all what he did was bullied me, pinched my cheeks and my nose! but, I like it his warm body against mine. I love his scent. white musk’s scent. then he whispered something that I never expected before. “I love you soojung, please remember that.” that words.. always haunted me until now.

on the next day.. he left me.. he left me with so many memories. his last words is just “I hope you have a good life, Goodbye”  I can’t even breath. how could him left me like that? after what he did last night? what he said to me? did he lied to me about loving me? what I am for him? Jerk! that what I was said when his memories came to my mind. but, I can’t still forget him. until now…

memories about him flashed in my mind again today.. after 6 years passed. I miss him more than the last time I missed him. where are you now? are you doing okay? are you already being a doctor who willing to help people like you always wanted before? If only I can go to you… but, you disappeared.

Drawing you out in my memories

I try to forget you but I can’t forget your warmth

If only I can go to you

I miss you, I close my eyes

I cry for a long time but I can’t

I try to find you, I try to touch you

But you disappeared from my tears

If only I can go to you

I miss you, I close my eyes

I cry for a long time but I can’t

I try to find you, I try to touch you

But you disappeared from my tears

I miss you, I close my eyes

I cry for a long time but I can’t

I try to find you, I try to touch you

But you disappeared from my tears

You disappeared…

This story based on my true story! can you imagine how my feeling was when wrote this? lol
this is only the prologue chapter. I'm planning to make a story what was happened between Soojung and Kai in 6 years ago. 
I hope you guys like it! and Thanks to meli (my friend) who reviewed this crappy story T.T saranghae~