Calling for EunHae986!
Story Title: Unnoticed Beauty

Title: (2.5/5)
- By looking at your title alone, I thought this story would be with a kpop idolxOC, but it isn't. The title isn't eye-catching nor is it screaming "Read me!" However, after finishing your story, I can see why you chose it. Not only does Chanyeol love Baekhyun because he's pretty (or handsome), regardless if he crossdresses or not, Chanyeol loves Baekhyun because of their precious friendship and blooming love for one another.

Description & Foreword: (2/5)
- You pretty much just summed up your story's plot with your description. Now, your story will be predictable. I suggest you stating the conflicts and maybe some thought-probing questions. Adding details, figurative language, or imagery helps too.

An example: (It's not the best. ^^)
It all started with a silly deal between Baekhyun and Chanyeol, but now Baekhyun landed himself into trouble with the school. Deals are deals, and when you give your word, you mean it. Not only is Baekhyun in trouble, but Chanyeol is too. He wants to think he is straight, but suddenly, he finds himself lost and confused; he is drowning within his own self-conflicts. What could be the problem? Will their friendship break apart?

Also, if you haven't noticed, you've added your foreword in the section where it says Description. I know you saved the foreword for the author's note, which is fine, but your foreword should be included where it says Foreword. Then, you can make a border and then label it as your author's note.

Example:
(/insert foreword here) blahblahblahblah.

★★★★★★★★★★★ (/inserts pretty border line)

Author's note begins here.

Originality: (4/1O)
- Based on your description, I'm guessing Chanyeol will drool over Baekhyun as he is dressed as a girl. Insert some heart-pounding moments, throw some self-conflicts in between, and oblivious moments that makes the reader want to jump off a cliff because of their stupidity, and wallah! Then, someone finally decides to be a man and confess, add some other cheesy and fluffy moments, and suddenly it's happily ever after! 

In other words, yes, it is cliche. ;u; And I came up with this just by reading your description. Plot twists would be nice.

Chapter Titles: (4.5/5)
- The last chapter's title can help readers infer what will happen next: it's pretty obvious that both Baekhyun and Chanyeol will be together, and both Chanyeol and Baekhyun will finally clear up their nth amount of misunderstandings.

Characters: (1O/1O) 
- With Baekhyun's and Chanyeol's thoughts, their personality seems pretty evident to me. The details you've used tells me they're are definitely close friends, but it's surprising that they only have each other as friends. Your supporting characters helped put Chanyeol and Baekhyun together. It would be nice if they were to figure out their dilemmas themselves, but that would take forever, considering how dense some may be when it comes to love. I think you did a great job of describing the two main characters and their personal development.

One thing I'd like to point out though, the way you describe Mrs. Jung's actions and the way she treats Chanyeol... she seems like a e. Just saying. xD

Overall Appearance/Neatness: (3/5)
- Your poster on your foreword, in my opinion, looks very messy. (I like the second one better) There are many blurred out things in the background and the color isn't sharp enough. The poster also answers the questions regarding what the deal between the two could be and why Chanyeol is confused, which is why I took out two points.

Word Choice & Descriptiveness: (4/5)
- The words you've used are pretty basic and easy for everyone to understand; however, upgrading to a more sophisticated usage of words is not limited. You still have room to improve. Try out slow at first and a thesaurus helps, but do not rely on it. Try to integrate your words within a sentence and as you read it, it would sound fitting. Do not use a high-leveled word in one paragraph and then in the 12th paragraph, add another one there; in other words, do not scatter them around but use them consistently. Practice using it in almost every paragraph that requires an adjective to describe something. That way, the words flow—it wouldn't seem messy or out of place—and more description about anything is a huge treat for readers, because we like to picture what is going on in our heads.

Story Flow: (9/1O)
- Considering the fact that you've basically told the readers the plot in your description, I think your story's flow was all right. It finally took them forever to realize how ignorant they both were. I guess it pays off and leaves a message that love does not come just as easily as falling in love. If you had a different description without giving anything away, maybe along the way, you can add twists, turns, and surprises, which means a longer fic. After all, this whole story lasted within five-six days.

Grammar, Punctuation, and etc: (9/15)
- I will not list all of the grammatical mistakes you've done so I highly advise you to go back and check. The ones I've listed in this section is something you need to pay attention more if you decide to proofread your fic again.

For a more formal and professional looking story, do not capitalize a whole sentence. (You capitalized a bunch of sentences, words, and phrases throughout your story). If you really want to emphasize that the teacher is yelling and is very mad, use words to describe it!

You cannot get late, but you can be late. Also, incorrect tense. She is reminding him of what she has done in the past.

Original: "DID I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU, NOT TO GET LATE OR ELSE YOU WILL SERVE A WEEK OF DETENTION?!”

Suggested: "Did I specifically tell you not to be late or else you will serve a week of detention?!"

♢♢♢

This is an incorrect usage of a comma. You cannot use a comma to separate two independent clauses. You can either use a period to replace the comma, use a subordinating conjunction, use a coordinating conjunction, a semi-colon, etc. Coordinating conjunctions can be easily remembered by an acronym known as FANBOYS. F for for. A for and. N for nor. B for but. O for or. Y for yet. S for so. Subordinating conjunctions are words add in front of a sentence, such as although, because, etc. A more detailed explanation.

Original: “'You cheated, it doesn’t count.'” Baekhyun said grabbing fries from Chanyeol’s plate instead of his."

Suggested: “'You cheated, so it doesn’t count.'” Baekhyun said, grabbing fries from Chanyeol’s plate instead of his."

You also need a comma to separate what Baekhyun did because of his further/continuation of actions.

♢♢♢

In this excerpt, you need to capitalize after because it's a new sentence.

Original: “Fine, fine. I’m on my way, I’ll be up in about… ten minutes or so?” after Chanyeol finished his statement the other line immediately hung up. Rude, but it was Baekhyun, so he wouldn’t mind."

Suggested: “'Fine, fine. I’m on my way, I’ll be up in about… ten minutes or so?'” After Chanyeol finished his statement the other line immediately hung up. Rude, but it was Baekhyun, so he wouldn’t mind."

♢♢♢

The comma here isn't necessary.

Original: “'How is it your fault, when you are dressed appropriately?” the teacher grabs his hand.'"

Suggested: “'How is it your fault when you are dressed appropriately?” the teacher grabs his hand.'"

Plot: (18/2O)
- Your basic plot is cliche but even so, there were a few things that caught me by surprise, such as Tao saving Baekhyun rather than Chanyeol. Your plot is pretty organized, consistent, and straight-forward so that's a good thing.

But realistically speaking, it's surprising that their school's staff acknowledges and allows Baekhyun to dress up as a girl. I know it's a deal/bet and all, but wouldn't the teacher/staff scoff at them and tell them they're ridiculous and immature? Also, they won't know if Baekhyun is secretly a predator and using the deal as an excuse to do erted things. That's just me. 

Another thing, Tao saved Baekhyun yesterday but didn't have a chance to talk to each other as Chanyeol interrupted them, so now Baekhyun and Tao are friends? That was fast progress.

But even so, your plot was amusing and I smiled or chuckled here and there. Chanyeol is such a for causing Baekhyun to get into trouble on purpose. xD

(Excuse my language. ^^)

Overall Enjoyment: (7/1O)
- As I've stated in the previous section, I've approached your story as comedy-like, so I had my share of smiles and laughter here and there. Your story isn't bad at all: it is just the cliche and overused plot-line. ^^ I highly suggest you to write more stories with a story-line that strays from others. It could be random, funny, angsty, anything! I know it's hard trying to come up with a non-cliche plot, but don't give up and try to explore everything. Anything could be a new muse for a story. c:



Total: 73/1OO
73%


♔♔♔

Hello! Thank you for choosing me to review your fic! I appreciate it a lot! c: ♥♥♥
It was a pleasure to read and review your story. c: I hope my criticism helped you
in a way and I am sorry if I sounded a bit harsh. ^^
If you have any questions or concerns, do not hesitate to pm me or comment back!
You are more than welcomed to reply to whatever I said or asked and you may
clarify anything else if needed.
Also, please do not forget to credit the shop on your foreword/fic 
& have a link directing to your review. 
Be sure to leave another comment saying that you had successfully received 
this review & credited my shop! Thanks again! c:
(P.S. Upvote us if you liked your review or if it helped? c:)