So I read some translated interviews in the internet and there was one where Kai told how he joined the band and I was like "OwO I'm shipping Ruki and Kai SO hard right now!" and this born. It shouldn't be too long, so I figured it wouldn't hurt publishing it even though I've so many ongoing fics. Please enjoy :3

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Chapter one: First memory

When I first heard of that band, I didn't know what to expect. They had just formed, and the name was Gazette. I just knew that the bassist didn't show his nose, the lead guitarist looked like a girl, the other guitarist was a ladies' man, the drummer was short and the vocalist... Well, the vocalist was short too, but what I meant to say is that he was absolutely amazing.

After hearing a couple of songs, I started liking them. I went to see their lives and the next thing I noticed was that I was in love with the vocalist, Ruki. I looked up to them so much, and I wanted to meet Ruki badly. One day my dream came true at an event for Ruki's birthday where many new bands gathered.

I could just watch Ruki from the distance. He was chatting with rest of the members of the band and having fun. I probably looked like a freak as I stared at them jealously. Being a member in that band would be amazing. It was my dream. But they didn't need more members. They were perfect. This thought brought tears to my eyes, and I wiped them away quickly before they would start to flow and ruin my make-up.

When I removed my hand from my face, I realized that Ruki was gazing me. I blushed deeply, making him chuckle. He didn't stop smiling as he stood up, said something to his band and started walking towards me. My heart was racing and countless butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Or more like my guts were tangling together.

"Hi. I'm Ruki", he said when he had reached me and sat on the seat next to me. "What's your name?"

I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath, so when I answered, it came more like a gasp. "I- I'm Kai."

"Hmm... What kanji is it written with?" he asked curiously. I didn't know why he was so curious about it, but I answered, still out of breath: "Masochist."

"A masochist, eh? Hey, could I have your number? Maybe we could meet up sometime", he said and took his cellphone. His expensive cellphone. I was ashamed of my old one now.

"O- Okay..."

We exchanged numbers quickly, and I was sure he added '-chan' after my name, but I could've just seen wrong. I was feeling dizzy after all, so it wouldn't be a surprise if my vision didn't work well.

"I gotta go now... I'll call you sometime", he said, and the next thing I realized was that he was gone, I was blushing and my heart was beating so fast I was shocked I still didn't have a heart attack. I talked with him... I actually talked with him.

I kept going to their lives, but I don't think Ruki ever noticed me. I was usually in the back, so it wasn't surprising. Even though we had changed numbers, he didn't call me once and since I didn't want to seem weird, I didn't call him either. Months passed and when he still didn't contact. I was giving up on hope. It was foolish to think someone like me could be with a guy like him. But on one day, everything changed.

Gazette's drummer left.

I guess I shouldn't had been happy since it caused trouble to Ruki, but that day I took my cellphone and dialed Ruki's number that I had already memorized in my head. But then I realized it. Wouldn't I seem like I was begging to be their new drummer? Like I wanted to use them? But these things crossed my mind when he already answered.

"Hey, Kai", he said.

"U- Um, hi. So... I was just wondering... Um... A- Are there any lives coming up? I'd like to come see you..." I stuttered. I sounded so stupid! There was just no way he would believe me!

"Oh... Sorry, there aren't any... Yune left the band", he answered. He sounded a little disappointed, as if he had expected me to talk about something else, but I didn't notice that.

"R- Really? I'm sorry, I didn't know", I lied nervously and without realizing, started chewing my thumbnail.

"You play drums, don't you, Kai?" he suddenly said. "Um, yeah?"

"Well... We need a drummer, so would you help us out? At least 'til we find a new one. I mean, your former band disbanded, right?" he requested in an almost begging voice. I gasped and said: "I'd love to!"

"Hm? Okay, we have practice today at six, could you tell me your address so I can pick you up?"

"Of course!"

I told him my address and we said our goodbyes. I clutched my cellphone against my chest and breathed heavily. Then I smiled, closed my eyes and felt tears running on my cheeks.

"Yutaka? Are you okay?" asked my mother, who walked into the living room where I had talked with Ruki. I opened my eyes, started laughing and jumped into her arms happily. "Yutaka?!"

"Mom, I'm in a band! I'm in Gazette!" I squealed. I felt like a crazy fangirl who had just met her idol - well, I guess I kind of was a crazy fan, but in a bit different way.

"That's great honey..." she said, being truly happy for me.

At six, I heard a knock on the door and I hurried over, smiling like an idiot. I had been working on my hair and the little make-up I wore for half an hour and picking the clothes for the another half, so I was completely ready.

"Ruki!" I said as I saw him, smiling charmingly at me. His clothes were darker than mine, and obviously more expensive than mine. His hair was styled and dyed perfectly, while mine was just styled a little and the same boring black. I was kind of embarrassed since he looked better than me, but I didn't mind and kept smiling.

"You ready to go?" he asked.

"Of course, I can't wait to see the rest of the band! I love Gazette, you're absolutely amazing", I babbled as I closed the door behind me and exited the house.

"Well good for you, then", he said. Oh, God, was I being boring? No one ever liked how I talked and my jokes were never funny, of course he thought I was boring! My face started heating up as I panicked silently, but I had no time to worry about it as I saw that Ruki had a motorcycle.

"A motorcycle?" I said. I really hadn't expected that.

"Sorry, don't you like it?" he asked worriedly. I shook my head and said: "No, it's fine."

He grinned and put a helmet on my head. I was pretty sure I looked like an idiot, but I didn't think about it as I realized there was only one helmet. And I was wearing it.

"Ruki-" I started, ready to take it off, but he hushed me and answered: "It's okay, I drive safely. Besides, I'm a rebel." He grinned again, sat on his motorcycle and started the engine and carefully I sat behind him, wrapping my arms tightly around him. I had never been on a motorcycle before, so I was pretty scared. We took off, and what I thought of Ruki's driving was not as safe as he had said. He was crazy!

I tried to not scream and just squeezed his upper body tightly. We arrived in no time to the place where they practiced in, and Ruki kind of had to help me off the bike because I was shaking so badly. I took the helmet off and asked: "You call that safe?"

"Yeah. My usual speed is faster, but I decided to go gentle on you since it was probably your first time." Again, that boyish grin appeared on his lips and I started feeling like he supposedly made his words sound so wrong. I blushed, looked at the ground and bit my lip. He laughed (at me?) took my hand and started pulling me towards the building. As our hands connected, I blushed even more and liked how warm and soft his hand felt.

"Hey, guys, this is the guy I talked about!" Ruki said and the rest of the members' heads turned in our way. I felt my face heat up again. I was actually seeing them, I was going to talk with them and I was going to play with them. Was this a dream?

"Doesn't look too good", said the bassist, Reita. The lead guitarist Uruha sighed and scolded: "Don't be like that, Rei. Who knows, maybe he's even better than Yune?"

"As if that would happen", Aoi muttered under his breath, making Uruha glare daggers at him. I pretended I didn't hear that and introduced myself: "N- Nice to meet you... My name is Kai..."

We played a few of their own songs I had already learnt and then some songs by other bands. I had great time playing with them and I couldn't take my eyes off Ruki. When the practice was over, Uruha smiled and commented: "Kai, you're pretty good!"

"He's a little off beat..." Reita muttered, but once again, I ignored him. However, Ruki didn't. He walked behind me, placed his hand on my shoulder and said: "Shut up Reita. He drummed perfectly, give some respect to him." Reita just clicked his tongue and didn't continue.

"It's okay, he's always like that. You weren't off beat at all", Ruki said, my back a little. Even with his words, I was still worried. What if I was not good enough for the band? What if I wouldn't get along with them?

What if they hated me?

All five of us went to a café since the practices had gone so well. I was really shy and didn't know them well, so I didn't really take part of the conversation unless I had to, even though I was listening carefully.

"Uh-uh, it was totally me who won that tournament", Uruha said - they were talking about video games - and Reita replied: "I defeated you and Aoi over fifty times, it was me who won."

"Okay, here's the deal. I won", Aoi said.

"Damn... Those three never stop, don't they", Ruki muttered, probably to me, as the older members kept arguing.

"Are they always like that?" I asked quietly. It probably wouldn't have mattered if I yelled it, though, since Reita, Aoi and Uruha wouldn't have heard anyway. Or they would've heard but just ignored. Ruki sighed and answered: "Yeah. I hate games, but I'm the only one in the band who doesn't play them... ing annoying."

"Um... I don't really play either..." I pointed out silently.

"Really?"

"Yeah... It's not like I have something against them, but I at them so much. I couldn't stand up against a five-year old", I explained. He smirked and lighted up a cigarette. I was pretty sure it wasn't allowed to smoke there - a waitress sent Ruki a nasty glare - but he didn't seem to mind and smoke.

"So, your old band broke up, huh? That's a shame", Ruki said to start another conversation. I nodded. "Yeah. But I don't think it would've worked out anyway... I don't think they bullied me enough."

"Bullied you?" Ruki raised his eyebrow curiously. I smiled a little and explained: "Mm. I'm kinda a masochist... I like being bullied. It makes the bullies happy."

"So that's why you're called Kai... But you like being bullied because it makes the bullies happy? You really must be kind-hearted", Ruki pointed out. I coughed a little because of the smoke floating towards me, and he apologized: "Sorry, I guess I shouldn't smoke here."

"No, it's okay", I coughed and tried to ignore the smoke. He put the cigarette away anyway and continued the conversation: "Well, if you like being bullied, we'll make sure to make you satisfied." I laughed nervously and nodded.

"We'll beat you up and mock you and embarrass you in front of everyone. Does that sound good?" Ruki joked with a grin so wide it nearly reached behind his sunglasses.

"Yeah, perfect. Beat me up for good so I can't even walk properly", I said, rolling my eyes and making him chuckle. I really liked his laugh. I noticed he always covered his mouth and giggled dorkily. I found it... Maybe not cute, but attractive.

"Oh really now? You know, beating up isn't the only way to make you unable to walk properly", Ruki pointed out with a bit erted smirk and his eyes landed on my . I blushed and said: "Ruki!"

"What? I didn't say what I was thinking about", Ruki answered smugly. I decided to leave it there and just sat there blushing like a schoolgirl.

"Anyway... Maybe we should leave those three. It's not like they'd miss us", Ruki suggested, finished his coffee and nodded towards the rest of the members, who were still arguing. I'm not sure if they were talking about the same game, though. I agreed since I wasn't sure if I wanted to witness any more of the argument.

"Hey guys, we'll be leaving now", Ruki said a bit louder. They barely noticed, Reita just said 'un' and we left.

"You wanna go somewhere? Or you wanna go home?" Ruki asked as we got out of the café and to the chilly, windy street that was crowded with people returning from work.

"Um... You can decide. I don't really care", I replied quietly.

"Okay. There's a place I'd like to go to", he said and we left. I really wished I'd chosen a thicker jacket. The wind was freezing and I wouldn't had been surprised if it started snowing. I wrapped the thin, black jacket tighter around me, but it didn't help at all.

"You cold?" he asked. I nodded a little and he smiled, taking his own jacket off and placing it on my shoulders. Again, I blushed and stuttered: "Y- You don't have to! You... You'll get a cold..."

"It's you who's gonna get a cold at this rate. At least wear it 'til you get warmer, I'll be fine", he insisted. I decided not to protest. He didn't seem to get cold and I felt finally warmer. The jacket was really warm and smelled like his cologne. I liked it.

Two weeks passed and we had been practicing every day for many hours. Every day Ruki picked me up at ten and we drove to the studio. I became used to the noise of the motorcycle and to the speed Ruki was driving in. We would always finish the practice around 2 and then leave for a drink; either coffee, alcohol (or apple juice in my case) or if we had been up late, energy drink. Then we'd go to one of the member's apartment and I'd be home in the evening.

I grew closer to the band members and Uruha and I became actually pretty close; I often visited him at his place after practice, and rest of the band came usually with us. I still had a bit problems getting along with Reita and Aoi, but I was sure it would pass. Aoi wasn't too bad anyway; he joked all the time and acted dorkily, even though he was the oldest member, and I liked his company, while Reita had probably heard Ruki's and mine conversation and... Well, he didn't beat me up or anything, but whenever I did something stupid, he would smack the back of my head and snap: "What the hell?!"

Ruki always said he didn't mean it like he hated me or something and it would just take time for him to get used to me. I didn't mind him because as said before, I was a masochist and liked being bullied.

It was Tuesday, and it was raining really hard as we got from the practice. We decided not to go to any café since it was crowded anyways, and we decided to go to Ruki's. I'd never been in his apartment, so I was rather excited. When we got in, I was surprised; it looked completely normal. The main colours were black and white and it looked really good. Since Ruki was only 21, I was also surprised he had an apartment this big an luxurious.

"Are your parents rich or something?" I asked as I looked around in amaze. He bit his lip, looked at his feet and muttered: "I'd rather not talk about my parents... But yeah, they are." I apologized quietly and we made our way to the living room, where wtheyall collapsed on the couch and living chair. Except me, because there was no space for me. Aoi, Uruha and Reita were on the couch while Ruki sat in a huge, comfy living chair that seemed to be his usual spot.

"Um..." I muttered. They blinked looked at me as if they didn't see what's the problem. Then Ruki realized what it was and said: "Oh, sorry, you can sit here."

"B- But it's a chair. And you're already sitting on it..." I protested shyly.

"Aw c'mon, Kai, it's big enough for the both of us. And if not, you'll just sit on my lap", he said. I blushed and walked closer. Before I could sit down, he pulled me on the chair and the next thing I realized I was pretty much laying on his lap so that it kind of looked as if he was carrying me bridal-style.

"R- Ruki", I stuttered, but he hushed me and helped me to a better position, so that I was now sitting on his lap. The rest of the band stared at us in shock and Ruki asked bluntly what the hell was wrong with them.

"You never let anyone sit on your chair, Ru! Never! Anyone!" Aoi answered  as Reita and Uruha were just sitting there their mouths wide open.

"It's not that big deal, guys. Let's just watch the TV or something", Ruki muttered and Uruha turned it on and we started watching some anime we all seemed to like. But we couldn't watch it for long before the doorbell rang. We'd just ordered pizza, but I doubted it would be the pizza man so soon.

"Uru, could you open it?" Ruki asked bluntly. He was lazily sitting on the chair and without anyone noticing, playing with my hair. Uruha nodded and walked to the door to open it. And it definitely wasn't the pizza delivery.

"M- Mr. Matsumoto?"

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Cliffhangeeeeer! I'll update soon, don't worry (^.^) Oh, and part of this story's happenings are actually true... Like Kai meeting Ruki in Ruki's birthday party, then exchanging numbers and not calling each other until Kai found out Yune left and then called Ruki to asked if there were upcoming lives (if i remember correctly) So yeah, it's based on true events XD Unfortunately Kai doesn't love Ruki, though >3< Or who knows? :D