3.

Suppressed Feelings

Taeyeon fluttered her eyes open and rolled on her back. She turned her head and noticed she was alone in the bed. Her eyes wandered around until she spotted Tiffany putting on a t shirt. Taeyeon caught a small glimpse of Tiffany's pink bra and her flawless skin.

She gulped and quickly smothered her face in to the pillow when Tiffany turned around. Taeyeon's heart was doing that same thumping in her chest just like it did the previous night.

Then she began to think about it.

She couldn't believe Tiffany had invaded her bed so boldly and hugged her to sleep.

''Tae?'' she felt Tiffany shake her gently. Taeyeon raised her head and saw Tiffany looking down at her with her eyebrows raised.

''I have to leave'' Tiffany said and straightened her back. ''My brother will pick me up and we need to go somewhere so I can't give you a ride back home''

Taeyeon's heart clenched.

''I'm sorry, Tae'' Tiffany did a small frown and sat down on the other bed. Taeyeon sat up and pulled the warm covers up to her chin.

''It's okay Tiffany'' Taeyeon said monotonously. She didn't know why she was starting to get upset, maybe it was because Tiffany was going to leave carelessly like that or because she knew what had happened did not mean anything to Tiffany.

Tiffany waited until Taeyeon got dressed so that they could leave the room together.

''Here'' Tiffany said, handing money to Taeyeon as they stepped outside.

Taeyeon furrowed her brows and looked at Tiffany. ''I don't need it''

Tiffany rolled her eyes and grabbed Taeyeon's hand. She shoved the money in her hand and stared back at Taeyeon.

''I told you I would pay for the cab'' Tiffany explained calmly.

Before Taeyeon could protest back, a black car rolled up on the drive way.

''That's my brother...See you around Tae~'' Tiffany flashed a small smile and waved at Taeyeon before entering the car. Taeyeon blinked and watched how the car drove away, leaving her startled.

Damn you.

 

Taeyeon paid for the cab and dragged herself inside her house. Before she did, she couldn't help but look at the direction where Tiffany lived. The sad emotions started to take over Taeyeon and she kept a gloomy face on for the rest of the day.

Whatever Tiffany was doing was driving Taeyeon crazy. And definitely not in a good way.

All she could do was to try to understand the reasons, try to put the pieces together so she could get the whole picture, but she couldn't.

To Taeyeon, Tiffany was a mystery.

She was so good at it, good at mesmerizing people with her looks and the way she behaved. Just like back at the hotel, Tiffany had Taeyeon fully under her control.

Taeyeon tried to understand her emotions, was she feeling something for her? More importantly, was it more than 'just friends' kind of thing?

She didn't know, and she wasn't sure if she even wanted to find out.

Taeyeon sighed and closed her eyes. She immediately saw Tiffany's face and she started think about how nice it felt to have her so close.

Her smooth legs...

The smell of the shampoo from her hair...

Her hand on her waist...

Her face so close that if she had moved her head any further, their lips would have touched.

Taeyeon shook her head at the thoughts of wanting to know what could of happened. From what Taeyeon knew, Tiffany loved skinship so she thought maybe it was only based on that and nothing else. But then she tried to understand why would Tiffany give this treatment to her, it definitely crossed the line of friendly skinship.

 

~~~~

 

A couple weeks later, Taeyeon and Tiffany remained the same as they had before. It seemed as if the incident back at the hotel was now erased from their minds, except for Taeyeon.

The burning sensation in her heart from jealousy and anger increased each day but she couldn't get herself to hate Tiffany. She was angry that Tiffany had abandoned their friendship for a bunch of fake people when their friendship had more value, but she just couldn't hate her.

The dreams of Tiffany became more lively and Taeyeon started to question her uality in a serious manner. She couldn't simply just have emotions for a girl, emotions that she should feel for a guy instead. But she couldn't ignore the longing and the urge she had to feel Tiffany close to her.

What made it a hundred times worse was that she knew Tiffany would never go down that road with a girl. She knew that Tiffany wanted to get married and have lots of children with the man she loved. It was Tiffany's dream.

Taeyeon remembered how Tiffany would tell her about her parents being strict and old fashioned about dating guys, she could only imagine the outburst if they found out their precious daughter was into women.

The whole thought about that was ridiculous anyway, it would never happen.

 

Although their friendship had literally gone to , something was still there. The times when Tiffany would playfully nudge Taeyeon's arm and flash a smile at her and then go on about her business. It confused her but she decided to play along and smile back at Tiffany.

Other than that, the eye contact was never initiated by Taeyeon and never intentional if their eyes happened to meet by any chance.

Taeyeon was listening to music while waiting for her class to start when she felt that familiar presence she knew. She looked up and just right on time, she caught a glimpse of Tiffany strutting past her and through the glassdoor to the other hallway.

She kept staring at Tiffany and just then she did a quick spin around and looked at Taeyeon.

Taeyeon quickly looked down at her phone, her face warming up as she realized what just happened.

She caught me staring at her!

Taeyeon swelled in embarrassment for God knows how long when she saw Tiffany walking back. She didn't know what came to her when she called out to her for the first time in months.

''Tiffany?''

She immediately stopped in her tracks and turned around. Taeyeon forced a smile and Tiffany sat down close to her. Dangerously close.

''Hmm?'' Tiffany raised her brows and waited for Taeyeon to say something.

She chose her words very carefully in her mind before she opened . ''Why aren't we talking anymore?''

The question startled Tiffany and Taeyeon as well. She definitely wasn't planning to say that, but something in her made her blurt it out so easily.

''Umm...I don't know Tae'' Tiffany said and took Taeyeon's hand in hers. ''You tell me''

Taeyeon stared at her hand that was trapped between Tiffany's warm and soft hands. She swallowed hard and looked up at Tiffany, who cocked her head to the side and raised a brow.

''I don't know'' Taeyeon replied. It was true though, she had no idea. Tiffany heaved a sigh, letting her gaze drop down and tapped Taeyeon's hand.

''You're mad at me'' she said, still looking down and rubbing Taeyeon's hand gently with her palm.

''I'm not'' Taeyeon lied.

''Well you don't talk to me or look at me'' Tiffany said.

Taeyeon didn't know what to say so she chose to stay quiet.

''Look Tae, I'm sorry'' Tiffany said looked back up at her. ''I know I have been hanging out with others a lot and we haven't got the chance to talk that much or hang out''

''It's okay'' Taeyeon said monotonously. She decided to lie in hopes that this conversation would lead to something that could restore their friendship.

''We should talk more!'' Tiffany exclaimed happily and eyesmiled. Taeyeon nodded and returned the smile, not sure if that meant anything.

''I mean, we still take the same classes'' Tiffany said. ''We can always talk there. I promise!''

Taeyeon nodded again. ''Yeah'' 

They sat there in silence, Tiffany concentrating on fiddling with Taeyeon's hand and Taeyeon trying to keep calm about the skinship. She couldn't deny though, she had missed that. The warmth that radiated from Tiffany's own hands and the softness felt so damn good.

''I really thought you were mad at me'' Tiffany said after a while. She added a small chuckle at the end, which let Taeyeon know that Tiffany hadn't detected her tiny lie.

''I was just a little...upset?'' Taeyeon explained. She didn't want Tiffany know HOW badly upset she really was.

''I'm sorry...you know we will always be sisters!''

Taeyeon remembered the time Tiffany had told her that she thought of Taeyeon as her sister. It made Taeyeon feel good but now it felt strange. She felt wrong about feeling something for Tiffany.

''Yeah I know Fany'' Taeyeon said while nodding.

Tiffany's eyes softened as she looked at Taeyeon, for someone else they would have looked normal but to Taeyeon they looked extremely sad. Before she could process it any further, Tiffany snapped out of her thoughts and let go of Taeyeon's hand.

''I have to go back to my class Tae'' Tiffany said and stood up. ''I'll see you later~''

Taeyeon sat there with her jaw dropped to the ground after she saw Tiffany wink at her before she skipped away. She knew it was just a playful wink but it made her stomach buzz with butterflies.

Oh...God.

Taeyeon could only take a deep breath and continue to replay the wink in her mind.

 

~~~~

 

Tiffany kept the promise.

They started to talk more in the classes they took together. Tiffany always chose the desk that was near Taeyeon and they would talk whenever the teacher wasn't watching.

But it didn't go on too long, maybe two weeks until Taeyeon noticed Tiffany didn't come to school anymore. They were only a few weeks away from graduation and the exams were taking most of everyone's time.

When Taeyeon saw the bimbo friends Tiffany hung out with, completely alone and lacking Tiffany herself, she started to wonder why she was absent so much.

She wondered if something happened to her but then she knew the news would have reached her if something HAD happened.

Days passed and eventually it was just a few days until the graduation. Still, Taeyeon didn't see the red haired girl anywhere and she decided to put the whole thing aside and rather focus on the last days of school.

 

Taeyeon washed her hands in the bathroom and then looked up to the mirror.

''Oh!'' Taeyeon jumped and turned around.

''Hey'' Tiffany smiled at her.

''W-where have you been?'' Taeyeon asked. Her expression remained as shocked as ever, and she couldn't help but take a good look at the girl she had missed all these weeks.

''I was in the States'' Tiffany replied coolly. She started to wash her hands as well and looked at Taeyeon's reflection from the mirror.

''I didn't hear you come in'' Taeyeon said.

''I used my ninja skills'' Tiffany said with a laugh and dried her hands on the paper towels before throwing the pieces to the trash.

Taeyeon rolled her eyes and faced the mirror again, fixing her hair a little bit.

''So what were you doing in the States?'' Taeyeon decided to ask, out of curiousity. She was surprised how quickly they were able to get into a conversation like nothing happened.

''Visited my relatives...met a guy'' Tiffany said with a big smile on her face. Taeyeon turned her head at the girl and raised her brows.

''You met a guy?'' she asked.

Tiffany giggled and grabbed both of Taeyeon's hands. ''I'm getting engaged, Tae!''

Taeyeon watched how Tiffany let out small squeals and jumped up and down like an excited kid on christmas. She kept her shocked expression on her face until Tiffany's excitement calmed down a bit.

''Oh ummm...wow?'' Taeyeon struggled with the words. ''So soon?''

''Oh Tae...I met him years ago already...but now that I was there, we started to talk more and more until we already went on numerous dates and then my dad really likes him and then we had a veeeeeery serious talk and he said he would like to marry me...and so he asked for my hand and dad approved him one hundred percent!'' Tiffany said and took a deep breath at the end.

Taeyeon blinked and tried to understand what Tiffany just blurted out in just one breath.

''Wait a minute'' Taeyeon said. ''You're getting engaged to him?''

Tiffany laughed and rolled her eyes. ''Isn't that what I said in the first place, Tae?''

Taeyeon wasn't happy or excited like Tiffany was. Like girls were supposed to be when they hear their friend is getting engaged. She felt none of that excitement rush through her veins whatsoever. But she didn't feel sad either.

She was shocked but she didn't feel anything that would have made her sit down and cry about. She felt...neutral.

But she decided to pretend a little bit, for Tiffany's sake. The girl was floating in the clouds and Taeyeon didn't want to ruin Tiffany's mood because of her 'neutral' mood.

After they left the bathroom, they sat in the hallway and talked. Taeyeon played along, asking about the guy, asking about the trip and whatever she asked, Tiffany provided an enthusiastic answer each time.

Taeyeon couldn't remember when she had seen Tiffany so happy like that. She could of sworn that Tiffany could of ran a marathon and win it with the amount of energy she had.

''Are you moving to the States then?'' Taeyeon asked.

Tiffany took a deep breath, smiled and then nodded. ''Yeah...We will continue everything there''

''You know Tae...'' Tiffany said, her expression turning a little gloomy. ''I'm going to miss you''

Taeyeon chewed on her bottom lip and gave a small nod. ''I'll miss you too...a little?''

Tiffany gasped and pushed Taeyeon's shoulder, causing her to burst out in laughter.

''I'm just kidding!'' Taeyeon said and continued to laugh. Tiffany sent a death glare with a visible pout on her lips.

''Not nice...'' she said quietly. The laughter died pretty quickly and they just sat in total silence. Each time Taeyeon inhaled, she could smell the vanilla fragrance stronger. She felt like she was the one that was floating in the clouds now.

Taeyeon sighed and leaned her head against the wall. She thought about the time she had known Tiffany. The time period was so short but she felt like she had known her for a long time. She was happy that Tiffany had somehow returned to her old self, not being all fakey or being an attention seeker.

''Your clothes look nice'' Taeyeon mentioned. Tiffany turned her head at Taeyeon questioningly.

''These?'' Tiffany asked, looking down at her clothing. ''Thanks Tae''

Taeyeon smiled and nodded instead of saying 'you're welcome'.

 

After catching up some more, Tiffany stood up and pulled Taeyeon with her.

''Well Tae, I just came here to talk to the principal and then I have to go home'' Tiffany said. ''But I wanted to tell you the news''

''Alright...well uhh'' Taeyeon scratched her head, trying to find something else to say.

Tiffany surprised her by placing her palms on Taeyeon's cheeks and gently tapped them.

''Take care Tae'' Tiffany said softly with a smile. She let go and started to walk away.

The butterflies in Taeyeon's stomach were going absolutely crazy.

 

~~~~

 

The graduation day came really fast, like a slap to the face. Taeyeon barely had any thought about getting everything ready when her mind was occupied with thoughts of Tiffany.

Thankfully Taeyeon's mother was caring enough to give her own daugther a kick on her so that she would do everything in time.

As she and her family sat in the car on their way to the school, Taeyeon wondered if she would see Tiffany at the graduation. It had been a few days but Taeyeon kind of anticipated to see Tiffany again. She knew Tiffany would look absolutely stunning with a graduation gown on.

Taeyeon and her family arrived at the school just in time and Taeyeon immediately started to look around if she could get a glimpse of Tiffany. She heaved a sigh frustratingly and decided to grow some patience.

Once they went inside and to the big gym hall the school had, Taeyeon saw her.

Tiffany was breathtakingly beautiful, her eyesmile never subsided as she posed for the pictures her dad took. There was still plenty of time until the actual ceremony would start so people spent that time taking pictures or talking with everyone.

Taeyeon lead her family to sit down, trying to see if Tiffany had noticed her yet.

Their eyes met and Tiffany started to wave at Taeyeon vigorously, her eyes disappearing because of the ear to ear smile she had on her face. It made her shine like a star, her perfect smile that was able to make anyone's heart stop. Taeyeon returned the smile and waved back until someone from their class stole Tiffany's attention.

 

The ceremony began and Taeyeon was mostly in her own world until she heard the loud cheers the audience gave. She realized she was now graduated from high school but it didn't quite reach her consciousness that quickly. Her parents looked so happy and proud of her, and it made Taeyeon feel content that she had achieved something like that.

When she looked at Tiffany, she tried to understand that she was probably never going to see her again. She didn't know how to feel about that nor how to react to it. Once again, Taeyeon felt neutral.

To Taeyeon, the whole ceremony was like a blink of an eye, she could barely remember anything about it when she got home.

Except how amazing Tiffany looked.

Tiffany looked so damn beautiful that it made Taeyeon angry. She wanted to be able to touch her like she touched Taeyeon. She wanted to be around her so badly.

Her family had thrown a small party in order to celebrate the graduation in a fancy restaurant along with some of Taeyeon's cousins, and Taeyeon's mind was free from Tiffany for a few hours. But after that, all the emotions hit her all at once when she got back home.

She couldn't believe that Tiffany was really going to leave. And not just to another city but to the other side of the world.

They hadn't fixed their friendship, they hadn't talked throroughly about everything that had happened, just nothing. Tiffany was leaving and everything would be left unsettled, like it didn't mean anything.

Taeyeon had nothing to contact Tiffany with, she had deleted her number and everything while being in an angry state a while ago, and now she regretted that.

She was supposed to be celebrating and be happy.

But she definitely had nothing to celebrate and be happy about now that Tiffany was leaving for good.

 


Hello guys :D!

I cant believe that this story already has 4 votes and over 50 subscribers...it makes me very happy XD So yeah, this story is coming to an end very soon and i feel really good about writing this so far. Even though im not familiar with writing about pairings, I think this came out pretty well..

Anyway, thank you guys for the votes and comments, I really appreciate them :D

So hopefully you like this chapter~

bye bye~~

 

p.s. Taeyeon is so freaking cute in this picture .__.

 

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xdryax
Guys, check out the sequel!

Comments

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UndefinedCharacter
#1
Chapter 4: That was so sad. :( They were both suppressing their feelings for each other, and both did not know that somehow, the feeling was mutual.
I do not like sad endings, but this is so good! And I'm glad there's a sequel!
taejellybean #2
I think I have dedicated this particular day to reread my favorite stories of yours :)
Jetplane19 #3
Chapter 4: I would flip if there is no sequel in this..Good thing you made a sequel for this hahaha
browndey
#4
Chapter 6: Thank you for writing this. Somehow, I can relate to it. It's like I understand how taeyeon felt, and I'm glad I found this story. I'm gonna read the sequel now. :D
Sone_Poh #5
Awesome! I cried. It was so well written. Hehe can't wait to read the sequel too.
tipco09 #6
Chapter 5: This is so heart wrenching but so beautifully written. I will read the sequel now. I hope they can be finally together in the future.
Arkhora-wang #7
Chapter 6: This story, the portrayal of feeling is awesome :D
xxyytny #8
Chapter 4: I really liked how u describe their feelings in this fic. The pain of loving someone so much but the fact that the two will not be together here. The pain of seperation really breaks my heart too. Thanks for writing this fic with all the right emotions n I really enjoyed reading it. Will read the sequel soon!