"She needs therapy"

The middle-aged doctor looked straight into the eyes of the young looking manager and then at the two idols in front of him. Their faces were plastered with concern and traces of sleepless nights. 

"I can see in her records she assigned PTSD therapy 2 years ago, but refused to cooperate at all and signed a declaration she refuses further treatment, BUT" at that he removed his glasses and leaned forward on his desk. "She has reached a point now where I can no longer promise an improve in her condition, both physical and mental, unless she receives treatment. Miss Lee has gone for too long overworking and exhausting herself, as well as, from your own words, in total emotional isolation from the outside world. The last case confirmed how deeply affected she is."

The doctor sighed and looked aside, looking tired and older.

"In a way I am happy this happened" the men exchanged confused glances. "You said she went for a few days not eating or sleeping. This phusical exshaustion, beyond what she usually endures, sent her to us before it was too late. And believe me, it wouldn't have taken long before it was too late." He looked directly in Heechul's eyes, the one he had noticed was closest to her all the time and his next words send chills down the young man's spine. "Most cases similar to hers end with a suicide or a stress related deadly health condition in just a few years. As much as our beautiful patient wishes the oposite, humans are not machines and feelings can't be shut down. I'd recommend she stops working until she recovers."

Heechul almost laughed, suddenly exasperated.

"How would you offer us take away the only thing I can see still supports her and gives her purpose? This can't be a good idea!"

"Young man, it doesn't support her. Just like alchohol doesn't support the alchoholic. It is killing her, even though she perceives it as refuge. She needs to come at peace with the past first and then come back to work."

The manager noded.

"I'll talk to our president about it. Thank you doctor!" Then he escorted his boys outside the office and into the empty hallway and took out his phone.

Leeteuk took the cue and offered Heechul to walk around. It was evening already and the hospital park was desolated. Brianna was sleeping soundly under the effect of sedatives to calm her down, so they went out.

It was a warm June evening and the heat of the all the concrete and metal layed down under the sun could still be felt. The park eased the stiffness in the air, leaves of trees and bushes around moved gently by a barely felt wind. The men walked in silence for a while. Slow, tired paces on the asphalt semi-dark alley. Heechul was deep in thought, yet wishing to express his mind, but having no idea how. Leeteuk waited.

Being the leader for so long, he knew his team well, he handled many crisises and went through some on his own. In this case though he didn't know what to do... or should he do something.

Brianna wasn't techinally a part of Super Junior. She wasn't his responsibility. Her problems didn't come out of her interaction with them. She wasn't even their friend. In fact, she made sure she WASN"T their friend.

Yet...

"We should do something, Jungsoo" Heechul's silent voice cracked a bit.

Caught by surprise in his own thoughts the leader stayed silent for a few moments then took a more careful look at the man beside him. That was his real face. Not the diva image, not the snarky, sarcastic, narcisistic man many saw. It was the face of that silent, often invisible support he always offered, always afraid he'd mess up, or that his help won't be enough... or will be misunderstood. It was a face even Heechul didn't know. Because he was too scared to let his guard down, even to himself only.

Maybe he could understand her better. Maybe helping her would help him as well. Maybe it was their responsibility after all. She was a part of their team in a way and never did anything that would harm the team - exactly the oposite. They couldn't blame her for being so hurt.

"We should..." Leeteuk put his arm around his shoulders and kept walking slowly back to the hospital. "I just have no idea what."

Brianna watched the slow IV drops fall in the haze of her sedated state.

She wasn't sleeping. But she wasn't awake either. Through her half closed eyelids she looked without actually registering what she saw. 

Numbness.

That was all she felt.

That numbness though was not the one she was used to during the last 2 years.

Her thoughts span in endless circles, often interupted and often ending up in confusing dead ends. Never calm and peaceful, never scary enough to stir her either.

It was that state of drugged pain and nightmarish paralyzis that holds people in a restless slumber. She didn't register that though. She was lost. Unsure and unable to determine even her own identity. Not the slightest concerned about it. She was too weak and too drugged to care.

Faces passed by her eyes. Or was it in all her thoughts?

Who could say?

She could see her mother's face. The face she had when she was lying on the earth in a puddle of her own blood. Oddly twisted in agony and horror. Forever still. Forever unseeing.

It soon disappeared just to be replaced by some other twisted, unmoving semi-hazy image.

Then another.

And another.

And another.

She couldn't comprehend anything and she didn't have the willpower to try to or to wish it would come to an end. 

She was walking on the misty pathways of her own conciousness and mist covered her all over.