5 ǁ Your true self

 

That night, Yongguk heard the encounter between you and Daehyun. *So that's why Daehyun has been acting so strangely these days.*

 

Burying his face in his hands from his place at his bedroom table, he let out a huge breath. "Aish, that assuming pabo…" It was obvious that the two of you haven't exactly been on the best of terms, although you did seem to try in the beginning. But your cousin didn't want this misunderstanding to continue. It might even spread to the other guys if he didn't do anything about it. He wanted what was best for you and he believed his friends were trustworthy enough to reveal the truth.

 

So he waited for another time you stayed at college after classes -- probably to hang out with Yoseob again -- and gathered the guys in the living room.

 

"You're all probably wondering why I called you here," he started.

 

"Yeah what's up Guk?" Himchan piped. "You made it sound so serious."

 

"It's about Hana." Everyone looked at Yongguk with perked interest -- except for that one person who instantly scowled. "Daehyun, you, of all people, need to hear this."

 

"What is it Hyung? What's wrong with Noona?" Zelo asked.

 

Yongguk took a deep breath before opening his mouth. "I know what I'm going to say next may seem unbelievable and downright ridiculous, but I will assure you now, there isn't anything more true."

 

"Alright. Enough with the puzzles and out with it Hyung," Youngjae interrupted. He was feeling impatient because he knew it had something to do with what Daehyun said that time.

 

"I'm sure at least one of you have noticed this..." Yongguk looked pointedly at Daehyun. "… but sometimes Hana may do things which seem out of character."

 

"Damn straight."

 

The other four stared at Daehyun in surprise. Yongguk just raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat to get their attention again. "There's a reason for her being like that." He hesitated before saying the next line.

 

"Hana has… a… split personality disorder."

 

Silence. Gaping mouths. Yongguk sighed and knew he had to explain more than that.

 

"Sometimes, Hana may seem to act like a totally different person. And that's because she really has become a different person. Someone tough, confident, rather violent, and well… in all a badass fighter."

 

Daehyun raised an eyebrow. *Yup. Definitely describes her. But a split personality?* He was reluctant to believe that.

 

Yongguk sighed again. "Yes I know it's not easy to believe, but I'm asking you all to believe me. I've known Hana ever since she was born and I know what she's really like. She's really a shy, timid, kind-hearted girl. But because she was so quiet and gullible, she was the target of bullies back at her old schools."

 

The others softened at this. Even Daehyun. None of them knew you were bullied.

 

"No matter how much she was hurting, Hana would put on a brave smile so she wouldn't worry her family. She would always tell herself that she still has her family and will brighten up again. And no matter how many times we tried persuading her to change schools, she would still stand her ground." Everyone was silent as they listened to their Hyung talk.

 

Yongguk's gaze dropped. "But eventually the bullying escalated to the stage where she was hurt physically. Her mother told me she even came home with a fractured ankle one time. No one at her school owned up to it and Hana just brushed it off, saying she was careless. But of course we wouldn't believe that."

 

"Noona went through all that?" Jongup was shocked. They all  were. No one knew something like this actually happened to you. Yongguk nodded solemnly.

 

"It was around this time her 'other' personality appeared." The five looked at their Hyung with wide eyes. "We believe maybe she developed this alter-ego in order to protect herself, because the physical bullying stopped. But then she doesn't remember anything she does when she's in her other personality. Other people thought of her as a freak and stayed away from her regardless." With serious eyes, he stared them all down, lingering longer on Daehyun who shifted uneasily.

 

"Which is why I don't want you guys to misunderstand her like those people. I trust you guys and I know you're all better than that. She doesn’t want your pity. What Hana needs… is genuine support. Genuine care. That's all I wanted to say. It's all up to you."

 

With a small smile, Yongguk stood up from his seat and left the room. The five figures stayed stuck to their seats, pondering over their Hyung's words. One of them, in particular, thought more deeply about this whole ordeal as he felt guilt engulf him from inside out.

 

 

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Daehyun decided to take a walk to think things through clearly. After finding the truth behind your 'swapping-between-two-personalities' thing, he felt extremely uncomfortable. He had unnecessarily made your life even harder, which didn't make him any much different to those bullies. "I've been a big, fat jerk to her, haven't I?"

 

Finally noticing his surroundings, he saw that he had mindlessly wandered off to some public garden. "Never been here before." He wondered why it is that he never came across this place until now. It was a perfectly peaceful and inspirational place to be when he wanted to write music.

 

As he continued to explore the place, he eventually heard the faint voices of people singing. Daehyun followed his ears to where the melody originated from and unknowingly stumbled across two figures sitting on a bench. It didn't take long for him to notice that it was you and his sunbae, Yoseob. Each with a guitar in your hands, the two of you sang with the most blissful expression on your faces. Daehyun always knew Yoseob had a great voice -- everyone knew -- but you, this was his first time ever hearing you sing. And he had to say, he was impressed.

 

Completely unaware of another presence, you and Yoseob continued singing. Daehyun had never seen you look so happy and relaxed, and his jerk-tard self definitely didn't help at all.

 

"I'm sorry… Hana."

 

 

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The next morning, you opened your door to see Daehyun walking past. You quickly ducked your head to avoid any eye contact with him which may annoy him any further. What you didn't expect was what came next.

 

"Uh… Good morning Hana."

 

Your expression was one full of shock as you replayed what he said in your head. *Did he just… greet me? Nicely?* The gentle smile on his face when you looked up confirmed your thoughts. *He looks so much more handsome when he's smiling…* you found yourself thinking. *Aish, stop thinking things like that!*

 

"Oh… Good morning Daehyun-ssi."

 

He nodded and continued on his way as you trailed after him awkwardly. The others were already gathered around the kitchen table eating their breakfast.

 

"Morning Daehyun, Hana!"

 

You weren't the only one who noticed Daehyun's sudden change in mood. But of course, the others were more than happy that the old Daehyun was back. Especially Yongguk who no longer had to worry about him giving you the cold treatment.

 

But you couldn't help but to feel a little uneasy at how nicely he was treating you, which was a total contrast to just the day before. Yongguk hadn't told you that the others knew about your condition.

 

"Daehyun, Hana. You two head off without me. I don't have class until later today," Youngjae said smugly. You visibly froze up at the idea of being alone with him. Yongguk put a hand on your shoulder.

 

"Have fun at college." Your cousin smiled that gummy smile of his.

 

Not a minute later, it was just the two of you walking side by side in silence. The walk seemed so much longer when you were uncomfortable. You sighed quietly when the college still wasn't within view.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

You looked questioningly at Daehyun who fidgeted around a bit, trying to avoid looking at you. But when he finally did, he delivered his next few words.

 

"I'm really sorry Hana. For being such a jerk to you without knowing anything…"

 

Your eyes were as round as saucers. "You mean… you know?" you whispered.

 

Daehyun nodded. "Hyung told us."

 

Worry jolted through you. "Do the others know?"

 

He nodded again. Noticing your distress, he started waving his hands before you. "Don't worry, we won't tell anyone else! Hyung only told us because he trusted us and didn't want us to misunderstand you."

 

A small smile broke out on your face. "Ne, that's right. Yongguk always does what's best for me."

 

Daehyun couldn't help but to smile. Soon enough, you reached the front gates of TS Arts. But since Daehyun was so out of it he didn't notice the big metal pole right in front of him and walked straight into it, head first.

 

BONG!

 

"AH!"

 

Looking back, you saw him clutching his forehead. A pole was in front of him looking as sturdy as ever. Realizing what happened, you had to hold back a giggle you could feel forming in the back of your throat. Usually you wouldn't laugh at someone else's misfortune, but right now, you really couldn't help it.

 

"Daehyun-ssi, are you alright?" you asked.

 

"It hurts…" When he looked up at you with a pout and slightly-watery eyes, you could no longer hold it back anymore. You laughed right in his face.

 

"Yah, stop laughing! It hurts!" He threw a little tantrum. It was strange seeing Daehyun looking so childish when you've only ever seen him being cold and distant before.

 

"I-I'm s-sor-ry…" You used all your willpower to compose yourself and led him to a bench. Running off to get some ice in a cloth, you handed it over to him.

 

"Thanks." Daehyun held it to his red forehead. Glancing at you for a second, he saw that a smile was threatening to form on your face.

 

"Yah! It's not funny!"

 

"B… but… it really is…" you whispered softly to yourself. Unfortunately, he heard you and protested again. You didn't bother hiding any laughter that escaped.

 

In all your new-found excitement, two of you didn't notice a figure watching from afar. The person glared at you in annoyance before leaving angrily.

 

*Kim. Ha. Na. I'm going to make you wish that he never stopped ignoring you.*

 

 

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*Gasp* Who is that person?! Leave them alone!