The next day . . .

" jiyong a , c'mon we must hurry ! " My manager yelled from outside the room. oh god, it's still early and  he was screaming like that? gaaahhh

" oh my lord ! how could you be asleep? This was at 10 ji, we have to go to New York this afternoon. Lets go ji! " . Oh no! He is start to drag and scolded me .

" arrasoe arrasoe hyung . Im wake up ." i starting to open my eyes and come back to my own life.

Gaahhh i really never have the peaceful holiday, YG gave me 2 days to rest but I could not even enjoy it. I only got to sleep all day on the first day and spent the second day with Teddy hyung until early morning and now i must start to go new york for my second album and some schedule again  im really chief kwon !

Drt drt drt

I have not even really wake up, but the phone is already crowded. I'm trying to see which jerk bothering in this peaceful morning . Ish maknae, what's this kid called me for?

"Yoboseyo" im yawning, too lazy to start my day with cheerful voice .

"Hyung! Where are you?"

"I was there at home . Whassup? " i said, rubbing my hair .

" me and Daesung hyung back to seoul today. we plan to take you to dinner, I would also call top hyung and Youngbae hyung after this "

" i cant seungri-ya , i must go to new york this afternoon . I have an meeting with someone there " I said . While keep my phone on my ear i  started toward the bathroom ,If during 10 minutes I not finish my bath hyung will really kill me.

"Ahhh hyung , we didn’t come out for a long time together. But okay its okay when hyung busy r8 now " this tone ,  this is very trouble . it is too early for him to act as if I was the most evil man the world , even though , we must start to produce our next album in 2 weeks again , i wont doing something who can make our bromance become bad . Huft! , i must doing something

"Listen Seungri-ya, later after I get home from newyork I will definitely take my time to the member  moreover , we have an meeting 2 weeks again we can go out all long day together r8 ? ." I said, trying cheerful as possible, I wont to start my day with a scolding this time, I was in the mood.

" Are you promise hyung?"

"Yes, im promise." Reply me in english.

"Okay hyung, fighting for ur new album. See u later hyung"

"Ne" I said simply, slamming my phone to the bed . At least he looks happy, I thought.

"Jiyong-aa , what have you done?" Hyung shouted from outside the room just as I came out of the bathroom.

"Ne hyung, I was changing clothes. 5 minutes more " I said as I ran to the my dressing room.

I must hurry now.

???

Incheon Airport . . .

"Ahhh finally, I could get rid of them" I said as my expensive touched the seat passengers .

VIP really getting fierce day by day, their energy and their shout , really made me wonder how they could possibly survive that long in the airport when I was deliberately delaying the flight schedule two hours later than scheduled airlines on our official website. Really, I do not believe it.

"Hahaha, they are your fans Jiyong-ya. You should be happy to see them as enthusiastic as it was." Dong Won Hyung laughter when he see me so tired.

"I might enjoy it a few years ago. But had it for 6 years in a row makes me a bit tired hyung." I have launched my complaint. Well, I'm just a little tired and bored right now .

"Maybe, they're right ji" Dong Won hyung  said, looking at me blankly .

"They? Whom? " I increasingly wonder. Who is them hyung-nim ? Are them the member ?

"Your fans." He said with a small smile

"What are they saying? When hyung-nim talk to them?"

"I do not talk directly, I just visited their site. You know la, VIPZONE.net" said Dong Won hyung bring out his iphone.

"They said you need a someone in u said , you may be too tired alone, too hard to work. You just need a rest for a while. See, ur fans know you more than yourself" he continued before I could speak, his gaze as to say , trust me this one.

"I've done it yesterday, I had a break" sighed. How can they say such a thing, , my fans? . People who only know me as the stage may not even have met me in person, but they look like  know me well than my self. What I do look so tired? What is it about time I started a new heart? Or this is just accident ?

"No that what I mean ji. it's Not your body, but this" he touched my .

"Something which need to break is your heart," he let go of her hand.

For a moment I was stunned, it was very soft touch even almost imperceptibly but why this heart felt very ill? Emptiness made me more miserable.

"You have to get up from her ji. I know you,  is not a year or two years ji. I know you from the first time you came to YG . I know not just all about you but also about your love and " Dong Won hyung began to wink at me. No, i dont like when our topic is about this matter.

"About her "  He continued dreamily .

"Hyung, I do not want to talk about it now"

I really wont hyung, do not spoil my mood, I moaned weakly.

"Then when ji? Are you still going to waiting? Until when do you have to wait for that first love huh?"

"I've tried it, forget everything about her. You know, I've tried to start new relationship with many girl but i still cant hyung" this time I really can not escape from this conversation. Sigh , i cant stop to sighing .

"No , Jiyongie .You never tried it, you're just dating them without letting them try to fill your heart. Jiyong aa open your heart, give someone else a chance. Do not too stubborn" hyung-nim said, holding my shoulder.

"I do not know hyung, I'm tired. I want to sleep hyung " im not doing it on purpose i just really tired of all .  Head by itself settles down in the passenger seat. let all that burden away .

"Hyung like this because i care about you ji , not only hyung but all members especially Youngbae. They just loved you too much so never dare to speak it to you. Believe us, go find someone in newyork. Try refresh your heart and mind. Now you can sleep, you'll be busy in new york "hyung-nim advice . He joined me as he put his head down.

I'm sorry hyung im not stubborn, I just. . . Well maybe I'm really stubborn. I just still want to wait for her ,  thats all .

???

JFK airport is already quite when me and hyung-nim arrived do not wonder at all , almost midnight now . The situation is quite different from incheon airport earlier. Here is very calm and quiet, not a bunch of people chanting my name or even no security that secures me, i was really like become a normal person here.

This is what I'm looking for, quiet and peaceful, I thought with a smile.

"Ahhh I like the weather here." I yelled, spinning while running around not forget I stretched out my hands. I try to enjoy the quiet atmosphere.

"You look better after going to bed earlier." Dong Won hyung busy laughing while counting the number of suitcase that we brought.

"Ne hyung, I think so. Maybe i will be spent my first night to writing song, Im in mood now" I said happily . many ideas crossed in my brain right now. The music , the lyrics, the intro , ah everything really excite. I'm really in mood right now.

"NO ji , you have to sleep. I do not want to drag you tomorrow morning, you will be meeting with missy elliot tomorrow at 9 am. Dont be late, new york people hate it" hyung-nim said he did not remind me more like threatening.

"Hyung, I was in mood now. Just for tonight laa . . ." I use my aegyo, while pushing my trolley out the airport.

"Jiyong no ! I said no, what do you want your collaboration will fail? Was not this your dream? You've prepared ahead of time, do not ruin all your hard work just because your childish " hyung-nim said flat but stabbed. Hyung-nim is right .I wont to ruin my dream , this album, everything cause my own litle mistakes .

I just motionless , while walking i think of everything i was done . Yeah dong won hyung right .

He is right , i screamed in my head try to persuade my self .

"Hyung, I am not going to ruin my dream coz my own mistake . Leaving all my efforts and those around me in vain. Hyung  I will strive" I nodded confidently while looking straight ahead.

New york, then you'll see who the real kwon Jiyong.