ChapterFiveteen

As soon as the words were out of , Soo-Kyung regretted them. What was she getting herself into?

Siwon had an exuberant smile, and Soo-Kyung felt herself mimicking the gesture. She had said the first thing on her mind, but she realized that she meant every word of it. Deep down, some part of her very much desired to spend more time with Siwon.

Before either of them could say anything, Soo-Kyung felt herself being pulled away forcefully, out of the office into the main hallway.

“Ow!” she rubbed her arm, irritated by Seung-heon’s high-handedness. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“What do I think I’m doing?” Seung-heon sneered at her. “What do you think you’re doing?”

His voice had risen several octaves, and several people gave the pair odd looks as they passed by. Noticing this, Seung-heon took a deep breath, then repeated himself, this time in a more controlled manner.

“Kyung, what are you doing?”

Soo-Kyung gave him a blank look, not really understanding his question. “What are you talking about?”

Seung-heon exploded again. “What am I talking about? Dinner, Soo-Kyung! With a chaebol! That’s what I’m talking about!”

Soo-Kyung’s eyes widened, realizing he was so worked up over her acceptance of Siwon’s invitation. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Everything!”

“Seung-heon, Park Chang Euk-sshi is no longer my patient. There isn’t anything unethical about me going out to dinner with Siwon-sshi,” she told him gently.

“How can there not be anything wrong?” Seung-heon took another deep breath in an attempt to stem the rising anger in him. Why didn’t Soo-Kyung realize that what she was doing was wrong?

Soo-Kyung felt herself getting more and more frustrated with Seung-heon. “What exactly is wrong about that, Seung-heon? Why don’t you enlighten me?”

“He’s a chaebol, Soo-Kyung,” Seung-heon told her. “Chaebols don’t simply take social workers out for dinner without an ulterior motive.”

Soo-Kyung let out a bitter laugh. “You mean just because Siwon-sshi is a chaebol, he couldn’t possibly be interested in me, and he probably just wants to get in my pants?”

Put in his place like that, Seung-heon had the decency to look embarrassed. But he stood firm. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

Aghast, Soo-Kyung simply stared at him.

“I mean it, Kyung. I don’t want to see you get hurt becoming a plaything for the chaebol, just because you think he can give you a better life!”

Soo-Kyung couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Becoming Siwon’s plaything just because she thought he could give her a better life? She felt like laughing. Did she look so desperate that Seung-heon thought she was merely out to snag a rich guy?

“You’re kidding me, right?” she asked.

Seung-heon placed his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look him in the eye. “Soo-Kyung, listen to me. Don’t go to dinner with that guy. Don’t start something you know will have to end.”

“Why does it have to end?”

“Because it always does! No such relationship will ever last long! You’ll be discarded the moment he tires of you,” Seung-heon warned.

“And what if he never tires of me?” Soo-Kyung challenged. She sounded a lot more audacious than she actually felt. Seung-heon, unfortunately, had raised extremely valid points.

“Kyung, please just listen to me,” Seung-heon pleaded. “Don’t go for dinner with that guy. He will only bring trouble to you.”

“Seung-heon,” she shrugged his hands away. “I appreciate your concern, but what I do in my personal life in my own business,” she told him firmly.

“Do you think Kang Dae would approve?” He asked quietly.

Soo-Kyung raised her eyebrows. “I don’t need Kang Dae’s approval for anything.”

“Then do you think Kang Dae would approve seeing you get hurt?”

“Kang Dae isn’t responsible for keeping me from harm. He respects my choices,” she replied matter-of-factly.

Seung-heon raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t Kang Dae your best friend? What sort of best friend knowingly allows you to open yourself to potential hurt?”

“Don’t presume to know everything about my life and my relationship with Kang Dae,” she told him. “There are a lot of things about me that you don’t know, Seung-heon.”

“Then let me get to know you!” Frustrated, Seung-heon brushed his fingers through his hair.

Soo-Kyung smiled at him, her expression more melancholic than happy. “There are certain things that it’s best you don’t know.”

“So it’s alright for the chaebol to know about them, but not me?”

Soo-Kyung sighed again. Why did it feel like this entire conversation was going around in never-ending circles?

“What do you have against Siwon, Seung-heon? As far as I know, he’s a nice guy. And it’s just dinner. I hardly think I’m the type who will be sleeping around on the first date!”

“Don’t you get it?” Seung-heon nearly roared. “I don’t want you going on a date with him because I like you!”

Stunned at his words, both Soo-Kyung and Seung-heon took an involuntary step backwards – Soo-Kyung in disbelief that his confession, and Seung-heon in shock at his own boldness.

“You… what?” Soo-Kyung whispered.

Seung-heon closed his eyes briefly, tortured. Opening them again, he said softly, “You weren’t meant to find out this way, Kyung.”

Soo-Kyung shook her head, still refusing to believe what he was saying. “You can’t possibly…” she trailed off, unable to complete her sentence.

“Soo-Kyung, I’ve had feelings for you the moment I met you. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did. I didn’t act on them in the beginning because I didn’t think it was right to get involved with a coworker, and I tried – believe me, I tried so damn hard! – to get over you.”

“But I couldn’t. As we worked together more often, as I got to know you better, I found myself falling deeper and deeper in love with you. It’s not something that I can control, Soo-Kyung. Do you understand?”

“I’m the last person you should be falling in love with, Seung-heon,” Soo-Kyung finally whispered.

“No!” His tone was fierce. “That’s not true, Soo-Kyung, and you know it. If I had to fall in love with someone, I’d rather that person was you.”

“You don’t mean that,” Soo-Kyung responded flatly. Her mind was still trying to process Seung-heon’s words.

“I meant every word I said, Kyung,” Seung-heon told her honestly.

“Seung-heon…” Soo-Kyung began, only to be cut off abruptly.

“You don’t feel the same way.” It was a statement, not a question.

Soo-Kyung shook her head slowly. “Seung-heon, I’m sorry. You’ve always been a coworker, and a friend, that I admire and respect.”

“And that’s all I am to you? A coworker and friend that you admire and respect?”

“Yes, Seung-heon. But I…” She didn’t get to finish her sentence, as Seung-heon had already turned and walked away. All she was left with was a view of his retreating back, moving further and further away from her.

Soo-Kyung felt miserable. She hated what she did, yet she knew it was better to make things clear now. Her friendship – if she could even call it that – with Seung-heon would never be the same again, she knew.

She wasn’t even sure if Seung-heon would ever want to work with her again. If there was anything she understood, it was that men had their pride and some men never took rejections easily. She had a gut feeling that Seung-heon was one of those who would never live her rejection down.

Leaning against the wall, she closed her eyes, feeling tears about to pool. How was she going to go about fixing a two-year-old friendship that’s now in tatters?

{ flashback }

“And this is the pediatric ward,” announced Ae Cha, facing several of the new social workers. “Some of you will be spending more time than others here. Some of you will find that children are more difficult to work with than adults, and that’s okay. We’ll be training some of you specifically to work with children.”

Soo-Kyung looked up from her file where she had been taking notes, only to notice a young man in a white coat standing across the room, studying her. Correctly identifying him as a doctor by the stethoscope around his neck, she offered a shy smile as she turned her attention back to Ae Cha’s briefing.

Seung-heon felt his breath catch in his throat as she grinned back at him. Her lips curled upwards, and her eyes widened slightly, causing her entire face to light up. God, she’s beautiful, he thought. He was sure that he had never met another prettier woman, not in his twenty-seven years.

A shoulder bumped his. “What are you daydreaming about?” His friend and fellow doctor, Lee Minho, asked.

Seung-heon said nothing in reply, but continued staring at Soo-Kyung, who was now paying rapt attention to Ae Cha. Minho followed his gaze, and nodded knowingly. “Ah… the new social worker.”

“You know her?” Seung-heon asked.

“Saw her early this morning in the cafeteria,” Minho told him. “She’s something.”

Seung-heon nodded in agreement. “Is she in charge of paeds?”

“Already got your eye on her so fast?” Minho teased. “You might wanna tone it down… I saw her having breakfast with Shim Kang Dae this morning.”

“The cardio-thoracic surgeon?” Even though he was only a few years older than them, Shim Kang Dae was already well known among the newcomers. His reputation as a skillful doctor preceded him.

Disappointed at the news, Seung-heon turned back to look at the group, which had now began to walk around the ward, peering into rooms and exchanging greetings with the nurses on duty. Soo-Kyung suddenly bumped into someone, causing the other person to drop whatever they were holding.

“I’m so sorry!” She gushed, then quickly bent down to help retrieve the fallen items.

“It’s okay, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” came the reply in a gravelly voice.

Soo-Kyung looked up and recognized the man she had seen earlier. Straightening up, the man offered his hand. “Song Seung-heon.”

“Park Soo-Kyung,” she replied, shaking the proffered hand.

“Are you…” Seung-heon began, only to be cut off.

“Yah Song Seung-heon! You’re here to work, not pick up pretty girls!” It was another young man who made the retort, causing Seung-heon to blush slightly.

“I’m one of the new social workers, sir,” Soo-Kyung introduced, noticing the other man was also wearing a stethoscope round his neck. “Park Soo-Kyung.”

“You’ll be the death of us,” said the man, reaching out to shake her hand as well. “Lee Minho. We’re pediatric doctors.”

“The death of you?”

“You’re too pretty, that’s what he means,” Seung-heon replied, earning a jab to the ribs for his remark.

“You said it, Seung-heon! Not me!” Minho laughed. He turned serious, then asked. “Are you Shim Kang Dae’s girlfriend?”

Soo-Kyung was taken aback. “What?”

Seung-heon nudged his friend hard, signaling him to shut up. “Just ignore him,” he told Soo-Kyung.

“No, don’t, please. I’m really interested to know,” Minho protested.

Soo-Kyung smiled serenely at both of them. “I’m not sure how that is relevant knowledge to our working together, Dr. Lee,” she glanced behind their shoulders. “And now if you’d excuse me, I have to catch up with my group.”

Without waiting for an answer, she hurried away, leaving both of them staring in her wake.

Seung-heon let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “You’re right, Minho. She really is something.”

{ end flashback }

From that moment on, she had worked closely with Seung-heon and Minho. After a year, Minho had been transferred to another hospital, so that left her alone with Seung-heon. They’d formed an easily working relationship, consulting each other on cases during lunch and coffee breaks.

But it was little Jae Won who had solidified their friendship. Because of the complexity of his illness and the aid he required, Soo-Kyung often shared her fears that the boy would one day be denied the aid he so desperately needed for his medical bills. Seung-heon had responded by ensuring that hospital charges – especially his doctor’s fees – were kept as low as possible.

Soo-Kyung hit her head against the wall lightly, wanting the pain in her chest to dissipate. How could she not have realized that somewhere along the way, Seung-heon’s friendship had turned into something more?

Logically, her brain told her that it wasn’t her fault; she couldn’t blame herself for someone else’s feelings, but she couldn’t help but wonder if she had inadvertently sent him the wrong signals, if she had alluded to something more on her part.

She tried to recall every single time they had had a meal or a drink together, tried to remember the words she had said to him. Yet she couldn’t think of a single time that she may have hinted to Seung-heon that she reciprocated his feelings.

“Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Jumping in shock, Soo-Kyung opened her eyes, only see Siwon looking at her in concern.

“I… how did you know what I was thinking?” she stammered.

Siwon advanced towards, stopping just within an arm’s length of her. “It’s written all over your face, Soo-Kyung.”

Embarrassed, Soo-Kyung tried to maintain a neutral facial expression. It was useless, since Siwon bored into her eyes, and once again, she was struck by how his gaze seemed to pierce right through all her defensive layers.

They continued staring at each other for a long time, before finally Siwon spoke up, touching her arm lightly. “Come, let’s go get some dinner.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *