Cross my heart and hope to lie

Chapter 3

Siwon

Siwon thought his heart was going to explode pretty soon, as he looked at the guy standing before his eyes.
He was different.
He didn't have those messy raven hair he loved so much anymore, and there was a hint of something in his eyes. Something new, something Siwon had never seen before.
His face was paler and marked by scratches and tiredness, scarred with something Siwon couldn't understand. Or even imagine.
He was skinnier. A lot skinnier. The actor was almost afraid to step forward to touch him – to finally feel that soft skin under his fingertips again – scared to break him just by brushing his hand against the other.
Siwon was mesmerized and stuck on his feet.
He couldn't move, it was like as if he was petrified, just like that damned night, when a man he had never seen before and certanly never met afterward, had told him that Yesung – the same person that was in front of him right now, the person he used to live for – was dead.
But still, Kim Yesung was right there, two meters away from him, breathing, wearing a long black coat and skinny jeans of the same colour, looking at Siwon just like a lost and scared puppy would do.
As his eyes met Yesung's one more time, the black haired young man could feel his legs shake, his weight was suddenly unbearable.
He moved, he needed to – or probably he would have fallen on his knees.
His right foot stepped forward, and Yesung took a step backward – just to turn around a moment later and run away.

Siwon had spent his whole childhood listening to fantasious stories about thieves, spies and watching movies about secret organizations that worked to free the country from any criminal that would cross their path. As a child, one of his dream was to run in the streets of Seoul, chasing a gangster or something like that just to finally end up with the delinquent in his arms and a safer place to live in. Of course, back then, he had never thought that one day he would actually chase someone in the crowded south-korean city. And he hadn't even supposed that the person escaping from him would be his long-lost-slash-presumed-dead ex-boyfriend.
He had to admit, it wasn't easy. Not at all.
People were all over around him, he was pushing and being pushed at the same time. He could see only a confuse mixture of various faces and colours as he tried to keep his eyes on the only person that mattered at that moment – the one that was slowly disappearing in the distance.
Just like he had done one year ago.

Siwon sighed deeply, painting a relaxed smile on his face, as he leaned on the wall near the window, holding a cup of hot tea in his hands. He loved spending some time looking outside, observing his surroundings as people passed by, walking hand in hand with their beloved, or running after an hyperactive kid who didn't want to stay by his mother's side. He chuckled as he saw a baby awkwardly standing on his feet, trying to take one single step forward, but he ended up stumbling and losing his balance. He was about to fall and hit the ground, but his father quickly reached for him and took him in his arms in a protective way. He then held him tightly against his chest and lifted him up, his wife smiled at their child and cutely caressed his face and chubby cheeks.
The smell of lemon and lime coming from the hot cup in his hands snapped Siwon out of his fantasies. He took one sip and enjoyed the bittersweet flavor that flooded his mouth. Suddenly, the keyhole sprung and, as he heard a few noises coming from the doorway, the actor turned around, left the cup on the kitchen counter and walked towards the living room, where he found the reason behind his genuine smile. Yesung was trembling because of the cold weather and he was jumping a bit on the spot, as he took off his shoes and jacket. Siwon smiled and stretched his arms out, hugging his boyfriend from behind. He could feel the smaller body tense at the sudden touch, but then it relaxed against his, and his smile grew even wider as he pulled down to plant a peck on the raven's right cheek.
-Good evening- he murmured, resting his chin on the other's shoulder.
-'Evening- was all he got back as Yesung drowned himself even more into the taller's hug.
-Are you tired?- Siwon asked, still not moving.
The raven nodded and yawned, as he slowly closed his eyes.
-It was exhausting. And I've got some news- he added, a hint of inscurity hidden in his voice. Siwon sighed, losening his grip on the latter's waist.
-I've got some news too. Go ahead, tell me- he said, as he slowly walked to the living room and sat on the couch. Yesung joined him, sitting nervously and completely rigid adainst the backrest
-No, you go first- he said, firmly, and turned around to look right into the actor's soft eyes.
Siwon took a deep breath and a few words slipped out of his mouth, followed by another sigh:
-I have to leave for a few weeks.
-Leave?- Yesung asked, narrowing his eyebrows: -Where are you going?
-Taiwan. I think it won't take me more than two weeks- Siwon explained, closing his eyes as he let his head rest on the couch.
-Well...- Yesung started, playing with his hair: -I have to leave as well for work, tomorrow morning. I'll go to China for a couple of weeks, I think.
Siwon frowned and looked at the latter, not even bothering to mask his confusion:
-China? What do you have to do?
-It's just work, you know. The usual boring stuff- Yesung shrugged and leaned in, resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.
-Can we just stay here for a while?
Siwon smiled and lied down on the couch, bringing Yesung down with him. He placed a soft kiss on his cheek and whispered:
-Of course we can. Is there something you want to talk about?
Yesung stayed quiet for a few seconds:
-No, nothing in particular. I just want to spend as much time as I can with you.

Siwon blinked, coming back to the world of the living, and jumped as he tried to look as far as he could. But Yesung was nowhere in sight – he had already disappeared in the crowd.
He was gone.
Again.

Yesung

-I... got... a—a job.
Heechul turned toward the door, where a close-to-collapsing Yesung was leaning against the frame.
He raised an eyebrow:
-And... Why are you panting?
-Oh- Yesung scoffed and schrugged carelessly. -I just... ran... a bit.
Heechul moved his hand, signaling him to go on. -And why?
-W-well, b-because I... I wanted to?
-Are you asking me or telling me?
-Telling you?
-Damn, Yesung—
-Telling you- Yesung said, caughing and composing himself.
-You seem pretty schocked- the photographer poured salt into a wound. Yesung rolled his eyes and quickly changed the subject.
-And you seem to have a loss of memory. How many times have I already told you to call me Jongwoon?
-Ten or eleven, more or less.
-Exactly.
-Alright, Jongwoon. So, what did really happen?
Yesung frowned, grabbing a bottle of water: -What do you mean by that?
-Stop playing dumb, my patience has a limit.
-Fine- Yesung sighed, sitting right in front of his best friend. -I saw someone.
-Someone?- Heechul asked, raising his eyebrows.
-Yes, someone.
-Ok, I'll be straight. I want to know name, last name and who the hell this person is.
Yesung played with his little fingers and he mumbled, after a few seconds of silence.
-I met Choi Siwon.
And this was enough to shut Kim Heechul up.

-When you say “I met Choi Siwon”, do you mean “I spoke to Choi Siwon” or “I saw him and ran away”?
-I saw him and ran away.
As soon as he answered, Heechul slapped his neck. Yesung yelped, turning around to glare at his friend.
-And what was that for?
-Why didn't you talk to him?- Heechul almost yelled.
-Why would I talk to him?- the red-haired retorted, raising his voice.
-Jeez, I don't know, Jongwoon! Maybe because he was your boyfriend?
-Until one hour ago, he was sure I was dead! What was I supposed to do? Go to him and say “hey, Siwon, I'm not dead. Would you like to have coffee?”
-Still, you shouldn't have run away.
-Oh, sure, and what would you have done?- Yesung snapped as he stood up abruptly, his eyes digging into Heechul's. -Let's hear how Kim I-am-always-right Heechul would have resolved this situation!
-Don't you think he was shocked when he saw you there?- the photographer stepped toward Yesung, his voice becoming louder and louder.
-Don't you think I was shocked as well?- Yesung hissed. -Do you think I was just fine when I saw his girlfriend? Do you think I'm fine with the fact that the best thing that ever happened to me is now someone else's lover? Do you really think this whole situation doesn't freak me out? If you think so, you're wrong, because it does freak me out. And it hurts – a lot.
Before the photographer could utter a single word, Yesung wore his coat and went toward the door. He grabbed the doorknob and he turned toward Heechul one last time.
-This isn't just about Siwon finding out I'm not dead, hyung. This is also about me finding out that my old life is completely gone and probably will never come back.

The coffee shop was just as Yesung remembered it. Small but cozy, with wooden tables and great beverages. He sat down and he stared at the view he got by sitting right beside the window, the cup of cappuccino was slowly warming his cold hands up. He thought about the conversation he'd just had with Heechul and he felt a bit guilty for yelling at him in that way. He didn't even know why he had answered like that. The whole thinking about Siwon was making him nervous and when Heechul had said that the actor must be shocked, he just exploded – because Siwon wasn't the only victim of the story, and Yesung wasn't the bad guy. But Heechul was right about one thing: everything needed to be fixed.
He spent two hours sat at that table, his stare glued to the window. He even ordered a small bottle of water, but he never opened it. When he stood up and left the shopt, his heart was beating fiercely, as if it wanted to jump out of his chest.
He didn't even call a cab. He just walked toward his destination.
It took him one hour to get there. If everything was still the way it was two years ago, then he had to wait only for about ten or fifteen minutes. He sat on a swing, moving his legs to rock back and forth.
And he waited, patiently.

Siwon

The reason why he loved joggin during the evening was that almost no one was around, so he could totally enjoy his two hours of relax. Small braches creaked under his feet as his legs kept moving, one after another. Sweat was running down his neck and his back, his grey shirt was completely glued to his body. His always-flawless black hair were wet and sticky, his breaths were heavy but regular. Everything was perfectly fine.
Everything, but his mind.
His damned brain kept on reminding him of the meeting he had had earlier in the afternoon.
He had seen Yesung, and this time it wasn't his imagination. He wasn't seeing things that weren't real. Kim Yesung was breathing right in front of him. He was palpable. Only a few more meters and he could have touched him – if only the spy hadn't run away like a scared puppy.
Siwon hit his head and choked a groan. He didn't want to think about what had happened. He didn't want to think about anything – surely he didn't want to think about Kim Yesung.
But it seems like lucky wasn't in his favour, because as soon as he reached the center of the park, he spotted a figure in the middle of the open space. The guy was sitting on a swing. He had red hair and he was wearing a long black coat and jeans. Everything was too familiar.
His breath stopped in his throat as he gulped, trying to calm himself down.
Kim Yesung was, again, for the second time in a few hours, two meters away from him. This time, however, he was staring back at him and he didn't seem scared or shocked. He was calm – like when he would sit on the couch to read a book, or enjoy a cup of coffee sat by the window. Siwon recognised the peaceful expression printed on his face and he couldn't stop himself from stepping forward. Yesung blinked but he didn't stand up. They spent a few seconds just like that, in silence, their eyes glued to each other's – and just when Siwon was about to talk, Yesung parted his lips.
-I'm not going to run away- he said and, God, his voice was just like Siwon remembered it. When he said nothing, Yesung patted the empty swing next to his.
-Sit- he said and, when Siwon obeyed, he handed him a bottle of water. Siwon grabbed it, still silent.
-We've got a lot of things to talk about- Yesung said and the wind blew, letting the soft scent of the man next to him invade his senses. Siwon closed his eyes, nodding his head, but he didn't voice out that he would have rather prefered to just stay quiet and enjoy the night.
Because Yesung was definitely back, and this was all that mattered.

* * * * *

A/N: I'm deeply sorry for this super late update! I've been so busy with school and everything else and it took me three months to finish this chapter. But, tbh, school isn't the only thing to blame. I also had a long and apparently endless writer-s block. I didn't know how to go on with this chapter. I knew what I wanted to happen, but I didn't know how to put it down. But I somehow managed to write this ty thing. I don't like it AT ALL. It's short and bad written, and I'm really sorry for that and for any mistakes you'll find. Just, drop a comment to let me know what you think, please~
No more chatting! I hope all of you spent a nice Christmas and I wish you all only the best for this new year! :)
Thanks for reading~
Lara