A/N: Listen :)

This is the most emotional one shot I’ve done so far. Please let me know what you guys think about it. Based on this imagine I did. 

This is in Seungho's pov

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I sat down at our, now my, usual table after ordering my coffee from the barista. You would think after a year of being apart that I would stop using terms like “we”, “us”, or “our”, but I hadn’t. I couldn’t even remember why we really broke up anymore. It was probably a stupid little fight. But the end of us had been rocky. Too many unspoken feelings. But I am never able to escape the memories of us when I’m here.

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I can still see you sitting across from me, smiling your shy smile. We had had our first impromptu date here. You were so beautiful that day, every day to be honest. But that day still stands out in my mind. I keep remembering the way you kept pushing your hair out of your face and how you twisted the ring on your finger when you got nervous.

Our first kiss was perfect. I had dropped you off at your front door. The coffee cup from this place was in your hand. We were both nervous, but when I looked in your eyes, I knew I would regret it if I didn’t kiss you. So I leaned in and pressed my lips to yours. It was only the first one but I didn’t want my lips to ever part from yours. You must have felt the same because when I pulled away, you stumbled forward a little. That made me happier than you could imagine.

The first time you said that you loved me was a few months later. At this table. You were so anxious that you just said it out of nowhere. It took me by surprise, but after hearing it, my heart soared. And the look in your eyes when I said it back… I will never be able to describe it. We made love for the first time that night. Being with you was the first time I ever really gave myself to someone. I truly gave you my heart that night.

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I tried to shake the memories of those times away, but it never works. I still come to this café though. I like to say they just have the best coffee, but that isn’t true. I could get coffee as good as this much closer to the J.Tune building. I still come here because it is the only place that feels like you. We were never at the dorm together much, always your apartment. We didn’t even go out much. I regret that now. Maybe if I had taken you out, done more with you, you would’ve stayed.

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Our happy times grew fewer and far between as the relationship went on. I was busy, you were busy, and somehow we got caught in a trap of living together, but not being together. We fought all the time. You wanted to go out on dates, I told you it was too hard because I was an idol. You wanted to be together, I told you I was too tired. You wanted to take a cooking class together, I told you I didn’t have the time. Looking back now, I can see that I rejected you every time you reached out to me. Sometimes I find it hard to believe you stuck around as long as you did. You must have loved me more than I loved you. More than I still love you.

I didn’t even know our last day together would be the last. I left that morning like I always did. I remember smiling at your sleeping form and promised myself to take you out that night. No matter how tired I was or how much I just wanted to stay home, tonight I would take you out and show you how much I loved you. But that night when I got back to that apartment, all your things were gone. Every memory of us had vanished. The only things you left behind were your couple ring, a single photo of us, and a note.

I cried the entire night. I didn’t sleep. I tried calling you over and over. I sent you more text messages than I ever sent in my life. I even tried calling your friends. No one would talk to me. You wouldn’t answer me. I wished that I had made our dinner reservations for the night before more than I had ever wished for anything. Maybe if I had, you would’ve seen that I still loved you. Maybe you would’ve stayed.

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I reached up to the chain around my neck and pulled it out from underneath my shirt. Our rings were on it, I could never be away from them, even now. I looked around the little place. It would be awhile before I would be back. The group was leaving on tour soon so I came here to try and fill myself with the feel of you before I would be gone again.

When I finished my coffee, I stood to throw the cup away and then spoke to the barista again. 

“I’ll be gone for awhile. Can I just pay upfront?” The woman smiled and shook her head a bit. She was the owner and knew I still came here because of you.

“Seungho-ssi, how long are you going to keep paying for her coffee?” She asked with a sad smile as she rung up how much your usual coffee costs over and over so it would be paid for while I was gone.

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This was the only place I could still find hints of you, so I still came here. The owner quickly noticed that we no longer came together. When I asked about you, she said you weren’t doing any better than I was. She said you sat at our table and cried all the time. That was when I started paying for your coffee. It was the only thing left I could do for you. The owner said you were surprised the first few times until she finally told you it was me paying for it. I still don’t know if you like that I pay for it or not.

In my mind, paying for it is the only way I can still be with you. It’s me still trying to make up for the dates we never went on. It’s me trying to keep taking care of you because you don’t take care of yourself. It’s me trying to still be the one you turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on. It’s me still being in love with you. Maybe I will always be in love with you.

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 “Until she stops coming here for it.”