Chapter 4 [New York]

It has been one month after Mao had visited. Her short visit in Japan left loads of memories on Jun. They are still fresh on his head. He had actually been dreaming of her lately. Though Aiba doesn’t say anything, he had noticed his frequent spacing out.

“Jun do you still love Masami?” Aiba finally spoke up. Jun had been telling him about the sudden confusion in his heart.

“I really don’t know Aiba. I told you all the feelings, emotions, I have for Mao before came back when we went out the day before she left. I felt like she’s still part of me.” He confessed.

Aiba snapped him out into reality, “Jun, you are already committed. Don’t do your mistakes twice. You’ve done this before on Mao and you are not going to do it on Masami. Jun you are to get married with your ex-girl friend’s best friend and not to Mao.”

“Aiba I really don’t know.” Jun sighed.

“Okay, you better choose whish one is really destined for you. You need to choose between the past you let go before and the present you are planning to let go. Is it the ’what have been’ or the ‘what will be’? If you’ve chosen someone then stick to it and I’ll always be at your back.” Aiba suggested. Jun had found the greatest best friend anyone could have and he is very grateful with that. He had always been there in his most confusing and heart breaking moments. It’s rare to find like him now a days.

Later that afternoon while Jun had been so condensed with work and was not thinking about anything else except work, the door swung open. It was Aiba coming in excitedly with news. “Jun! Here you better be the one to go on this convention. It’s going to be held in New York. Maybe seeing Mao again, being with her in a place where you have not shared anything at all might help you decide.”

“But… How about work?” Jun worriedly asked, but he wasn’t really worrying about work. It was more unto how he could find Mao and what he will say when he sees her.

“I am Aiba the great! I can do anything and I can be anyone. I can be Superman, Batman, Flash, and Cyclops. Just name it. ” He boasted as he sat on the chair.

“Shut up! You are so noisy, I’m thinking.” Jun broke his momentum.

“Besides I can ask help from Toma, Yamapi and Kame… Oh! Not Kame. He has been in New York for three days” he informed him.

“Eh? What? Why? What is Kame doing there?” Jun exclaimed furiously. He wouldn’t allow Kame to get Mao before he does. Aiba then teased, “I smell jealousy.”

“Kamenashi Kazuya, what the hell are you doing there? Watch your stupid back because the lion is coming.” Jun uttered not minding what Aiba was saying.

At New York while working on her next column story Mao received a call from Kazuya. “Hello. How are you?” he asked.

Mao then said, “I’m very much fine. How come you asked me that when you’ve asked about it yesterday and on the first day you came to see me?”

“Nothing I just wanted to know ho you are doing. I wanted to see if I could already court you.” Kazuya informed her.

“Kame, I told you I couldn’t reciprocate your love, not now. Kame, it’s better if we remain like this, good friends. I’m hanging up. I am busy right now. Bye.” Mao said as she hung the phone down. Kazuya said goodbye but he is not yet ready to surrender. He believes in himself.

The night Jun had arrived in New York, he had checked-in in the most luxurious hotel in New York. He was unaware that it was a few walks away from Mao’s work place. That same night he decided to walk to a bar. And at that same time Mao was out from work, she had taken the same street Jun was taking.

The next thing they know they were standing in front of each other, eyes meeting eyes, gaze meeting gaze. Jun then greeted, “It’s been a while.” Mao nodded surprised. She wanted to say hi but the words that came out were different.

“So where’s Masami?” she asked.

“She’s at Japan right now. Actually I’m invited for a convention.“ He explained. He didn’t have to but he did anyway.

“I better go now. It’s nice…” Mao said.

“Would you like to eat somewhere?” Jun invited before she was able to finish her sentence.

“It’s okay. I’m going to eat at my apartment.” Mao declined his offer. She feels like it was not right for her to go out with Jun without Masami knowing.

“I insist. Please Inoue Mao.” Jun persuaded. Mao sighed and said yes. She was defeated again, as always. She can’t understand why she can’t say ‘no’ to Jun after that day out. Jun got his car; it was different from what he has in Japan. It was metallic blue and cooler than what he owns in Japan. Jun opened the door for Mao before he went to the driver’s seat. (Well, that’s what a gentleman should do.)

“So where would you want us to eat?” Jun asked.

“If you ask me, I’d say the first building that offers food then.” Mao challenged him.

Jun gulped and said, “Whatever we see then. I can survive anything edible.”

“Iko so?” Mao ordered. As they turned three corners they found a restaurant that serves every food with spices.

They parked the car and went in. The place was filled with Arabs, Thais and many more people who like spicy food. They found the table, which was less crowded. The waitress had served them the menu before they could even ask for it. They had ordered their specialty and lots and lots of water. Mao and Jun then chorused, “This is going to be the hottest and spiciest dinner we would have together.” They laughed softly at the thought that they had shared the same thoughts. Now it was served and the peppers, hot and spicy one were really visible. They gulped as each took a half spoonful to taste. It was yummy yet very spicy. After dinner, their lips were red very red and they could still feel and taste the spices on their tongues. Jun brought Mao to her apartment and went straight back to his hotel after saying goodbye.

The next morning started like any other morning. She ate her breakfast while she read the newspaper. Then she took a shower, changed her clothes, and went to office. As usual everyone was busy. Upon arriving at her desk she found a bouquet of pink carnations on it. The phone then rang, “Hello, Kame-kun. What are these flowers for?” She asked.

“I didn’t send any today.” He was surprised. She was thinking from who the flowers were. She leaned back and saw a card but the only thing that was written was:

TAKE CARE ALWAYS

“There’s a card yet it isn’t signed.” Mao said.

“Oh now I get it! You have a secret admirer but it seems this secret admirer knows that you don’t like roses anymore.” Kame teased.

“Kame, you are the one who sent this to me. I can’t think of anyone else.” Mao whined.

“Well, I just called to say good morning. Goodbye.” He hung the phone. Mao wondered from who it was and no doubt it was not mistakenly placed on her desk. Her name was there and that proves it was rally for her.

Jun decided to try the hotel’s restaurant. He found a seat near the window and the waiter served him their menu. Everything was scrumptious, but he had to order only one since he can’t everything. “I’ll have to try your Spanish Style Pot Roast.” He ordered. He scanned for more and added, “I’ll have latte and for my dessert I’ll have creamy maple mouse.”

“It will be served after 20 minutes.” The waiter promised as he went away. Jun looked around, observing every people coming in and out, but the hotel restaurant wasn’t really that busy since most of the people wanted to explore other places. As Jun’s eyes lingered around he recognized someone among all the unfamiliar faces. He stared at him and he did as well. He approached Jun smiling crookedly and Jun maintained his stern look.

“So when have you been here?” he asked Jun.

“Yesterday night.” Jun briefly answered.

“Have you met Mao somewhere?” he asked.

“It’s none of your business if I did. Who are you to her anyway?” Jun mocked him with a glare.. Kamenashi was insulted with how and what he said.

“Jun, we all know and heaven knows how deep my concern for Mao is. You stole her from me but all you did was hurt her. Jun, be contented with one, you’ve freed her and now you are stealing her again? I won’t allow even a fringe of your clothing to hurt her.” He was furious.

“I won’t lose to you. Besides I never stole anything from you because she was never your and never will she be yours.” Jun provoked with a grin.

“May the best man win then? Well, I think you know who is uncommitted between the two of us. Well, Mao won’t choose a guy who would marry her best friend.” Kazuya challenged him. They stared at each other like predators playing each other. As it intensifies…

“Excuse me sir, table for two?” a waitress asked. Kazuya shifted his gaze to her without any word at all. He looked back to Jun and went out of the restaurant. The waitress turned to Jun and asked if he has already ordered something. Putting down his payment which was obviously more than what he had to pay he said, “Here’s the payment. Eat whatever I have ordered. My appetite has perished.” He walked away madly. The waitress was surprised at the same time blessed.

Then Jun’s food came. “Where’s the man here?” the waiter asked. The waitress then informed him, “Well he walked away giving the payment and he told me to eat whatever he ordered.” He put down the tray and got Jun’s dessert but when he came back the waitress had eaten everything. ‘Burp!’ Now she was full. “Scrumptious.” She complimented as the two of them ate Jun’s dessert.

Jun decided to visit Mao in her office building but he was unsure of what to say. Instead of going in the building he just passed by it and decided to go to a gift Shoppe to buy something for Masami.

Mao was drowning her on the computer, reading more information for her upcoming article when her phone rang.

“Moshi Moshi.” She answered.

“Mao-chan! How are you? Did you happen to see Jun around? He said he’s going there at New York.” It was Masami and as usual she’s hyper active. Mao wanted to tell her they did but, “Really? He is here? I haven’t seen him. I’ll try to see if we would see each other, but New York is a big city so don’t expect.” She lied. She herself was surprised with the words that came out of . She knows that it was Masami’s right to know if Mao and Jun saw each other but without a reason she lied.

Masami shifted the topic to another one. She kept on blabbing about how pissed off she is with work. She’d been tired and stressed out with it. “Mao I’m worried. What if I’ll look too stressed out and ugly? Jun might not marry me anymore, will he?” she worriedly asked. Mao knows how she feels. Well, you just can’t make yourself ugly beside a hot, handsome and rich bachelor. Mao then said, “Well, Jun loves you. It won’t matter to him what your appearance would be.” “Arigatou Mao-chan. Be sure you’ll be here on my wedding.” She uttered. Mao smiled and assured her, “Yes I will. It’s a promise.” They said goodbye and they putdown their phones. ‘What have I said?’ Mao thought.

It was raining and Mao forgot to bring her umbrella, she decided to stay at the office and finish her next article while waiting for the rain to stop. The rain had stopped late night. AS she came to her apartment she was greeted by Kazuya soaking wet, waiting for her. “Kame what on earth were you thinking? You’ll get sick with this. Look at you…” Mao worriedly articulated. Without hesitation Kazuya grabbed Mao nearer and kissed her. She wasn’t able to resist him and had kissed him back but Mao didn’t feel any magic unlike when Jun and she had firsts kissed before. They didn’t know someone was watching them. He was deeply hurt. ‘Now that I have realized how much I love you, now that I have realized how stupid I was to let go of you, now that I decided to love you again, I lose you the second time around.’ He thought and left them without looking back.

Mao pushed Kazuya away, crying. Her eyes revealed the versatile, innocent and fragile Inoue Mao. Kazuya looked away and apologized. Mao then said, “No. You don’t need to say sorry. I have to. Kame, I’ve told you I can’t love you. I can’t reciprocate your feelings. You deserve to be happy, Kame but the mirth you are looking for is not found in me. Gome Nasai.”

“Mao, Do you still love Jun? Please be honest.” He asked knowing what the answer would be. Mao looked at him silently, slowly her tears rolling down and then it flooded.

“I still love him so much and never would I love anyone except him. I don’t care how many swords…” Mao stopped; she felt her heart ached. It was something she had felt a year ago, after their break up with Jun. “I don’t care if they pierce me a thousands of thorns, I don’t care if my heart keeps shattering and I don’t care if I am bleeding. For all I know the hurt and remorse he has given me is something I can bury and forget but the love and happiness we’ve shared are things I can’t let go. I love Jun a million times than myself.” She confessed. Literally her heart had stopped for a second and the next thing she knows it was hard for her to breathe. She was at pain. No matter how hard she tried to conceal it from Kazuya he saw her pain. He was worried specially when Mao passed out. He hurriedly but vigilantly carried Mao to his car and brought her to the hospital

The next day Aiba was reading loads of files. He has grown tired of this imbroglio, as how he sees it. “How can Jun stand this long paperwork? Just reading the first page is giving me a stiff neck and a migraine.” He groaned to himself, massaging his head and his neck. Suddenly the door wildly swung open. It was Jun in his office attire; his arrival last night was unknown to everybody and that includes Aiba.

“Jun?! Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be in New York right now? The convention is still tomorrow.” Aiba jumped off Jun’s chair, pale as though he had seen a ghost. He really was surprised.

“I cancelled it! I don’t like New York it’s ugly there!” Jun uttered in a very pissed off manner. But the truth is he really liked New York, it is one of the best places he has gone to so far.

Aiba fixed himself and demanded for more information. “How about your other purpose? I mean you know…” He was grinning at him.

“I found out, it was just an infatuation. It’s merely one and maybe it is because of the loads of memories we shared here.” He scornfully said avoiding an eye contact or else he would be caught lying. Aiba knows him and he is aware of that.

Aiba felt something was hidden behind his words. He then asked him, “So did you see Kame there?”

“Don’t you dare say that damn name!” Jun said in a rage of anger. Aiba was surprised he regretted he asked such question. He knew exactly why Jun was so furious and his changed plans, there is only one reason behind this scornful anger and that is Mao. He knew it was time for him to escape or the next thing he would be seeing would be a white ceiling, fine-looking and y girls and a hospital room filled with gifts from his girl friends.

“Jun, I really wanted to talk with you but I guess you still need to do a lot of things. I’ll see you later and be sure by the time I see you again you’ve cooled down. Jane.” He left Jun.

Jun depressingly sighed as the doors closed and he was left all alone. He then grimly uttered to himself, “God, Mao, I still love you. Seeing you with that freaking’ Kazuya makes my heart tear apart. Have you really moved on after a year?” His fist were clenching as though he was ready to punch someone. Then a magazine was delivered to his office, it was Time’s magazine and it was the article Mao had made about the engagement. He sighed deeply and with this he felt torture.

After proper medication was given to Mao, Kazuya and the doctor had talked about Mao’s condition. It actually started a year ago after Mao’s break up with Jun that a small tumor in her heart grew; somehow its growth was blocked when Mao had counseling and regular check ups. It was triggered by the depression and remorse she felt and the rush of her emotions. This time the tumor got worse and it would be growing rapidly if another break down would happen and that time Mao might finally die.

“Kazuya, please do help Mao not to depress herself.” the doctor said in a hush tone to avoid disturbing Mao, who they think was still resting. Kazuya was alarmed and taken aback He knows what the doctor means.

“I’m okay. If I have to die then I should not die here. I’m going back to Japan anyway.” Mao butted in.

“Mao rest.” Kazuya worriedly helped her back to lying down. “You are not going to die yet. I will take care of you. For as long as I am alive, I will not allow anything to happen to you.”

Mao weakly smiled and whispered, “Arigatou.”

“Kame what are you pondering on? I told you I am healthy and right after my release here, I’ll pass my resignation letter. Then we can go back home to Japan. Kame, please don’t worry about me.” Mao uttered as gleefully as she can possibly be. Kazuya shut his mouth and just stared at her worriedly. He didn’t want to lose her. Mao then reiterated, “Kame stop worrying about me. Stop taking care of me. I can’t repay everything you’ve done.”

“Let me. Just let me love you, Mao. I don’t care if you’ll reciprocate it or not. Just let me love you.” Kazuya said. His tone was pleading and his eyes were sincere.

Mao looked away and said, “For as long as you promise me Kame will not think of Mao at all times. You need to give something to yourself as well.” It was hard for her to give him hope when she knows there really is no hope whether she lives or die. Learning to love him isn’t hard but Mao has closed her heart and wouldn’t want anyone to enter it again.

Jun was busier than ever that afternoon, when his phone rang. “Moshi Moshi.” He answered.

“Aiba? Don’t you dare joke around.” It was Masami, who was thinking Aiba was playing tricks again. She was not informed that her beloved fiancé has arrived from his trip.

“Masami, it’s me, Jun. Would you want anything from Aiba?” Jun uttered.

“Oh. Actually, I would be asking him about you. I’ve been contacting you but I never succeeded. I was worried sick, something might have happened to you.” Masami informed. “Are you okay?”

“Gome Nasai. I arrived yesterday night.” He apologized. To make-up for letting her worry much Jun asked her on a dinner date

“Certainly. I love it, Jun.” Masami gleefully agreed. She had realized it has been awhile that they hadn’t had their date because of their busy schedules.

After being released at the hospital after two days, Mao had finally gone to her company building to submit her resignation letter. At first her boss didn’t want to since Mao was one of the best columnist he ever had. However, after Mao had told him about her condition he decided to allow her. Mao left the company with a smile and giving them her last article. Its title was, “Lost and Found Love” She was able to interview a German couple that were able to put their love back into full bloom after being separated for three years.

Mao and Kazuya arrived back to Japan at the afternoon of that day. No one knew they had come back. Mao wasn’t planning to let everyone know her existence; she didn’t want to tell them about her heart ailment. She chose to be alone and stay at home, without obliging herself on telling everyone of the reason why she came back. She had also asked Kazuya not to inform anyone she was back for good.

For Mao, it was just for the best. She also wanted time to be alone before showing up on Masami and Jun’s wedding. As not to be so depressed, she stays at her garden, tending on the flowers there. She spends most of her time there and that gives no time for sadness to slowly crouch and hurt her. It had become her daily routine.

Four nights before the much-awaited wedding, Jun visited Masami in her condominium. They just talked and had a simple dinner prepared by Masami.

“Jun, are you happy that I will be your bride? Are you not going to back out?” Masami asked, somehow hesitant with the coming days.

“Masami, I love you, that’s all you need to know to assure you that I’ll give my whole life to you.” Jun said. His gaze shifted out the wide glass window, which occupied one wall. Jun looked at the dark sky and the colorful lights, illuminating the city. Then his thoughts drifted to Mao and the week before their wedding.

“Jun, I can’t believe this we are actually officially getting married after a week.” Mao was excited and giddy. Jun moved closer to her and caressed her cheeks. He then asked, “How many children would you want to have? If you want a lot we can start now.” Jun was grinning maliciously and in a teasing way.

“Bakaero! Matsumoto no ! You are such a ert.” Mao exclaimed furiously. But then her anger turned back to sweetness. “However I’ve also been thinking of that. Well, I would want a boy and a girl. We’ll have a little Mao and a little Jun.” Then she had imagined her life with Jun and the family they would be having in the future, she felt thrills rush over her spines.

“Oh come on! That’s too small; let’s have a dozen. I want a lot of children and most of them should be boys. They would grow up; humble, responsible and trustworthy like their father.” Jun boasted.

“Jun having a lot of children like you are the worst idea. I don’t want my children to be s! Besides I am no pig! If you want as many as those then get pregnant yourself!” Mao furiously said. Jun then hugged her and whispered, “Let’s have two then. As long as you would love it then we’ll have two then. I don’t want you to get angry with me. You know how much I love you right?” Mao was again defeated; she was mesmerized by Jun’s soft masculine voice. She hugged him and they kissed passionately as they slowly went to the next level of intimacy. Then they made their way to bed.

Mao had also been thinking about that in her room. She was all alone but she felt his presence in every corner of room, since everything and I mean everything in there was a piece of Jun’s existence in her life. Her life had revolved around him before and maybe up until now. She felt the remorse running in her heart again. It hurts to remember the happiness you know you can’t have again. Mao cried as she wrote a letter for Jun. It was a letter she would never mail him and never would he be able to read. Mao’s heart stopped again. It became very painful and she was unable to breath. She felt dizzy and had lost her consciousness. Lucky for her, Asanami her nanny had forgotten something and she was immediately brought to the hospital. Mao was alive, but quiescent. She had been in coma for tow days.

“Doc, what can we do to save Mao?” Kazuya worried. He’d been at the hospital for two days now and he never went home waiting for her to wake up.

“Her heart is really getting weaker. The more she stays unconscious the more risky her life could get and she might not open her eyes again. She needs a heart transplant as soon as she wakes up, however it only heals her partially. She can only completely heal when she wants to.” The doctor informed.

“Then I need to talk to a man I don’t want to talk to. For Mao, I have to.” He said as he went out of the hospital.

That very moment, Mao had gained her consciousness. “Asanami-san? Am I still alive? Where Am I?” she asked as she woke up.

“You are very much alive. You will live longer; I guarantee that to you. Right now you are in the hospital recovering. You’ve been slumbering for two days.” Her nanny informed as joyfully as she can concealing the worries she has.

Mao then asked, “Is there anyone else who knows about this?” “Yeah. We’ve informed you parents about this but they can’t come since there are businesses needing attentions as of now. Well, they’ve been calling every now and then to check on you.” Her nanny narrated as vividly as she could so that Mao can picture out the whole scenario while she was asleep. “And aside from them Kazuya-san has been here for two days waiting for your awakening. Actually he just left to do some things.”

Mao looked outside. She could see the view of the perfect blue sky and the flock of gliding white birds. She then whispered to herself, “Kame, Gome Nasai.”

“Jun, Mao is in the hospital right now. She needs a heart transplant, but it’s not an assurance that she’ll live.” Kazuya informed as he forcefully entered the office of Jun. Jun was surprised worried but because of pride he hid it. “Mao needs a what? How the hell did it happen?” he asked avoiding any eye contact.

“She needs a reason to live longer.” Kazuya sighed. Jun was struck. This time he had found his way to Kazuya’s eyes.

“Go and give her a reason to live. You are his boy friend, right?” He was pissed. Why in hell does he have to throw it right to his face that Mao needs Kazuya more than she needs Jun? He hates his guts.

“Jun, the best man has won and I lost.” Kazuya uttered with his heart tearing apart.

“What do you mean?” Jun asked sarcastically. He was confused on how Kazuya quoted things.

“I am going to be her donor.” He informed. “Please don’t hurt Mao.” Jun was taken aback at how knightly he was and how deep he concerns Mao. ‘A reason to live?’ Jun uttered in his thoughts. Slowly things reached his heads and at that time he knew what he has to do.