About a year past since Luhan began paying more attention to Minseok. Honestly, he’s not sure if he can call his protective urges to the smaller man just friendly anymore. He’d always known that Minseok was special to him. He always caught Luhan’s eye, and made his heart beat in a way that no girl had ever done. But he hid his affections well. Luhan could honestly say that he adored everything about Minseok, and yet everyone around him was none the wiser.

Minseok was what Luhan’s life revolved around.  In the mornings he would wake up to the older making breakfast. He’d be dressed in some shirt a few sizes too large and pants that only made him look smaller than he already was. He’d notice Luhan walking in the room after the later managed to space out and stare at him for a while, greeting him with a yawn and clumsy wave before inviting him over to eat. As time passed, the other members would stumble in and out of the kitchen, usually taking food to the living room. Minseok and Luhan stayed at the counter and slowly eat whatever they had. Luhan loved waking up to Minseok. Although they weren’t in the same room anymore, the elder was the first person he saw every morning, and that in itself was reason enough to wake up so early.

After everyone was prepared for the day, EXO would all head to the practice rooms (Luhan not-so-secretly holding onto Minseok as much as he could in the van) and continuously train, as a group or individually. This was the time of day that Luhan saw the least of Minseok, but it was okay because he knew where he was and he knew that as long as the baby faced elder was safe and happy, it was fine for him to be left alone. However when he did see Minseok’s practicing he always took Luhan’s breath away. He looked so intense as he rehearses dance steps, so enamored with what he’s doing. Luhan loves that Minseok loves this. He loved that despite a rocky start in debut, Minseok was ready to go back out as Xiumin, eldest hyung of EXO. This new Xiumin was skinnier than the other. A little too skinny in Luhan’s opinion, because he knew how much work Minseok put into his diet and he would much rather have a content Minseokkie than a skinny one (of course whatever Minseokkie he could have was fine).

Minseok also stopped wearing insoles to fake his height. He would be promoting much more comfortably this time, with all his band mates around. He seemed freer with himself than he did months before, which was fantastic! Luhan was excited that Minseok was so happy for the comeback. He was so grateful that despite being with all of the Korean members now, Minseok still enjoyed his presence the most. Luhan didn’t know what he would do if Minseok grew tired of him.

After practice, the members would usually stumble home at late hours. Some would just head to bed, while others like Minseok stayed out a little longer to eat and unwind. It was a no brainer for Luhan to stay up as well. They would sit and watch the television for around an hour each night, more or less paying attention. If Luhan were asked what the shows were about, there would only be so much he could tell you. He was too focused on the other.

Eventually Minseok would decide to head off to bed, not before cuddling up to Luhan and whispering goodnight in his ear. This was Luhan’s favorite time during the training period; snuggly Minseok was Luhan’s favorite Minseok, because in that moment, everything felt as it should be to him. After Minseok went to bed, Luhan- who was typically the last one still in the living room- would sit and think about his life. Technically he had everything he wanted: he was making money while singing all he wanted, had many close friends within his group, and Minseok was always by his side. That what he wanted right? Yes, of course. Luhan loved his life. He couldn’t help the longing he felt whenever Minseok was around. There was nothing he could do when the older was with another member. Luhan had no claim over Minseok besides friendship. Luhan was a fool to think that he was fully content with this.

It was a few weeks in to their comeback. Fans were loving the album and loving the guys. Everyone was feeling a popularity boost and Luhan was seeing it in Minseok. Though his lines in the title track were as scarce as ever, he was doing so well with promotions. Minseok was definitely more comfortable promoting in his home country than in China. Luhan was so happy that Minseok was happy. He was also thankful for the fanservice they were supposed to give.

 As idols, their company had encouraged them to act very affectionate with each other. This was never a problem because they were all very close. In fact, the touchiness they had with each other made Luhan’s attention to Minseok seem normal. Luhan was thankful in the crowded airports that he could hold on to Minseok. Luhan still wore his insoles, after all he was the visual for M, but Minseok without his was the best. He seemed so small and fragile, and Luhan wanted to protect him, even though he knew the other was perfectly capable on his own. He loved that he could be the protective not-boyfriend in public and for it to feel so right. It was moments like these where Luhan tries to believe that he would be fine with his one-sided feelings.

Minseok steadily gained a fanbase as time went on. Not only that, but his fans were so passionate. Luhan loved when they called out to Minseok more than he did with his own fans. As mean as he thought it was, his fans came second to Minseok. Everything was second to Minseok.

However with a fanbase came very pretty girls. Very pretty girls that liked Minseok. Minseok’s fans were so deep and caring about him. Luhan knew that their love for the elder was far from superficial. Because they were the ones who saw Minseok in the crowd, even though he was not seen as the most attractive member. They saw him with the same eyes that Luhan did. Luhan knew that if they were to get to know Minseok the way that he did, they would only grow to adore him more. This hurt Luhan, because he knew that anyone who was a girl had a much larger chance with Minseok than he ever would.

So Luhan clung to Minseok. He never left his side when fans were around. Luhan was being selfish, he knew, but it wasn’t something he could bring himself to feel bad about. After all, some fans were supportive of their non-existent relationship. They wanted them to be together in the way that Luhan only dared to think about. These fans were the best. They gave him hope in a way that he shouldn’t have.

Luhan liked to daydream about Minseok and him. A picnic with Minseok, maybe a walk through the park. He wanted to wake up next to Minseok, and help him get dressed. Luhan thought about what it would be like to be alone with Minseok. At this point, his daydreams would usually take a turn that Luhan couldn’t handle. The mere thought of touching Minseok intimately was too much. Luhan didn’t want his fantasy life with Minseok to get that detailed, because it would lead to even more heartbreak someday.

Luhan would feel down sometimes. After a very nice dream, or thinking about a date with Minseok, Luhan would scold himself. While he would never try to distance himself from the other, he knew that he should stop thinking about him too much. Luhan tried to tell himself that his feelings weren’t disgusting, but that didn’t make it alright to think about his band mate that way. Minseok never talked about girls they way that the others did, but that didn’t mean he liked boys like Luhan.

Whenever Luhan got down on himself, Minseok would always be there to comfort him. Minseok did not initiate touching Luhan nearly as much, but he would never reject the Chinese man. Truthfully, Minseok loved affectionate Luhan the same way Luhan loved sleepy Minseok. Minseok would go over to the other and put his arm around him, or even take him into an embrace. They would stay there for a while, just enjoying being with each other. Minseok had always had a special talent of making everyone feel better without needing to say anything.

Luhan was so grateful for Minseok. He was so lucky to have the older in his life. Luhan would never ask more of Minseok, because he couldn’t. He couldn’t inconvenience the other with his undesirable feelings. Luhan’s whole existence revolved around Minseok, so how could he even think about giving him another burden?

Luhan knew he would never be perfectly content with his current relationship with Minseok. He was far too selfish to be able to completely disregard his own feelings. He would never be able to let go of his precious Minseok. He thought maybe one day he could tell the older about his feelings. One day when Minseok didn’t have to deal with all the pressures of being the oldest hyung, maybe he’d mention it. Luhan was hopeful that someday he could tell the other, but for now, he’ll let his feelings sit aside so he can be with the one he wants.

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And there we are! I know some people may be dissapointed that they didn't get together, and I apologize! However, I was trying to keep this story very realistic. Have you ever had a person in your life that was perfect to you? Like, despite any flaws that they had, they were perfect. I don't know if that is necessarily love, but I feel like Luhan in real life has a similar feeling towards Minseok. The parts of Luhan's one sided love were obviously added by me, but I do think that they have a special friendship.

I think I may add a sequel someday to see what happens if Luhan ever does end up telling Minseok someday, but who knows! 

Also, I feel like I made them seem so sentimental, when their actually so fluffy and fun together. If I do write any other part of this story, should it have the same feel as this one, or should I take on a more lighthearted tone?

And thank you for paying attention to this story! Xiuhan in Russia was killing my feels, so I couldn't help myself!

^^