It’s hauntingly familiar to wake up in a white room full of sleeping people and the slow beep of machines. My lids flick open and I blink several times in disbelief. I’m not one hundred percent sure that I’m actually alive. I shift slightly and a searing pain stabs my shoulder.

                Yep. Definitely alive.

                I settle back with a groan and sense the fuzzy head next to me lift sleepily. As Sehun’s eyes widen I realize he’s been clutching my hand. I’m not sure I would have noticed if he hadn’t squeezed.

                “Hyung…” he breathes, leaning close and touching my face. I smile softly.

                “Hi, Sehun.” I reply. Instantly a harsh breath is into his lungs as his lips starts to quiver. He opens his mouth to say something but can’t find the words. He buries his head in my neck and starts sobbing quietly.

                Instinctively my good arm reaches around his shoulders to rub his back. Soothing words spill off my tongue like cool water and I nuzzle his ear comfortingly. He starts to relax and his tears lessen until he’s merely cuddling up to me and sniffing.

                “There we go…” I coo gently, leaning against him. My eyes wander around the room only to meet the wide gaze of Chanyeol’s shocked face. He’s cuddled into a chair with Minseok tucked under one arm, and Luhan in the other. He stares at me as if I’ve gone insane but then slowly stands, jostling the sleeping men who sit up in confusion.

                “Suho…?” I nod and smile encouragingly at the giant.

                “Hey.” Chanyeol’s excited yelp startles the rest of the group out of their sleep.

                “Joonmyun hyung, you’re back!” He dives into my bed, nearly nocking Sehun off. One by one they all crowd around me. They all seem to just want to touch me. And every time my lips twist into that unfamiliar grimace know as a smile they squeal like six year old girls.

                Tao is all tears and clinging limbs as he tries to keep me all to himself. Baekhyun is jumping around like a crazed rabbit and alternating between shouting, hugging me, and sobbing. Chanyeol and Sehun who were instantly demoted to bystanders are fighting everyone for another cuddle. Minseok is bawling and my hand while Luhan is fighting tears and patting my head.

Jongin is clinging to the only part of my body that isn’t occupied-my legs-and smiling like a dork. Kyungsoo is skipping around hugging everyone while running back to me every so often to fuss over my blankets and how tight I’m being squeezed. Chen is just laughing in the corner at everyone’s expressions, but I can see the tears running down his cheeks.

The only two not making a fool of themselves is Kris and Lay. They both have huge smiles on their faces, but as they walk over to greet me their eyes start to drip with a pained expression. Their eyes flicker as if haunted by some ghost, and while I know what’s bugging Kris I can’t figure out Lay. I frown as the dancer quickly extracts himself from the group to sit in a corner.

“Hey, guys…” They stop talking instantly. “Could you give me a minute?” Everyone is hesitant at my request, but eventually they agree when Minseok suggests they get food. As Lay starts to follow I call out to him.

“Yixing, can you stay for a second?” He pauses, looking terrified. Kris hesitates at the door and glances at me, I give him a nod and he leaves in confusion. Without ten extra bodies the room seems a bit lifeless. Or it would if Lay wasn’t shaking like a leaf and panting.

I gesture for him to come closer and he does, but I can tell he’s only getting more nervous as he moves. My heart clenches in sympathy for him but I have to figure this out. Finally he’s seated beside me and fiddling with his shirt.

“Yixing, what’s bugging you?” I ask quietly. His breath hitches and he start blinking quickly.

“Ah-I…” his words fail and a small drop falls from his lashes. I sit up slowly, grimacing at the pain in my bandaged shoulder. I wrap an arm around his neck and pull him close. He stiffens but eventually relaxes and hugs me back.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” he whispers, his voice trembling with tears. It takes him about five minutes to burst into tears and let the whole story tumble out. How our manager came to him and asked him to appear on that fateful radio show.

How he had begged and pleaded not to go. How he had been so happy when the offer was retracted, but then felt so guilty when I was asked to replace him. And how when I disappeared it was all he could do to keep him agony hidden from the others.

“It’s all my fault.” he chokes at last. My eyes are stinging with unshed tears.

“Yixing, you silly unicorn…it’s not your fault!” I admonish.

“But if I had gone then maybe you wouldn’t…maybe it would have been me instead. That would have been better!” he howls. I grab his face and force him to look at me.

“Lay! Listen to me. It wasn’t your fault; they wouldn’t have taken you anyways…” I trail off hesitantly. Lay glances at me and I look away.

Subconsciously I wonder if this is what he was crying about…how long have I been here? I don’t know how many days it has been since I woke up to Lay sobbing on my sheets and…and then everything…

“S-Suho…? You okay?” he hiccups cutely. I shake myself out of my thoughts and realize I’m trembling. I open my mouth to reply but all that comes out is a squeak. The realization of all that happened hits me harder than…than his…

Tears and sobs rip from my body as I curl into Yixing’s embrace. When the rest of Exo return they all stare in shock for a moment before crowding around me and touching me soothingly. I don’t know how long I cry, but eventually a doctor comes in and gives me something to calm me and I find myself drifting off.

“We’ll be right here when you wake up.” Kris murmurs as my eyes close. I breath escapes my throat as I sink into a dreamless sleep.

_____________________

It was two days later when I finally woke up again; at least enough to remember. Apparently I’ve been in and out of consciousness for a week since the day I was attacked, but the first time I actually “woke up” was two days ago when I went into hysterics.

This time everyone was very cautious around me. They tried very hard not to do anything that would set me off, but it didn’t prevent me from breaking down a couple times. As the days wore on I got better until a week later they figured I was ready for an officer to speak with me.

Everyone is nervous about it, and rightfully so. The last time this happened I clamed up and wouldn’t say anything. But then again I already wasn’t talking before that.

“Hello, Mr. Kim? Do you mind if I ask you some questions?” I turn my attention to the man standing beside me. For a second I glance at my members and they nod in encouragement. I swallow nervously.

“Go ahead…” He smiles and pulls out a note pad.

“Do you want them to leave or-?”

“No, they can stay.” I cut him off as he gestures to my friends. I suddenly realize that I honestly really do want them here. They smile at me and Baekhyun puffs out his chest pridefully.

“Alright…so first off, I already have your medical report and the report on what happened seven months ago.” He frowns. I imagine it was pretty sparse.

“So my first question is if you think the two incidents are connected in any way.” I nod firmly.

“Alright, how sure are you that they’re related?”

“One hundred percent.” I state grimly. He frowns again and scribbles something down.

“Can you elaborate?” This was the question I’ve been dreading. How do you explain something that you don’t fully understand yourself? How do you talk about something so terrible that you can’t even begin to comprehend it?

“I…I’ll try…” A couple of my members sit down next to me and rub my back. I’m not sure who it is, but I’m glad. Because as soon as I open my mouth to relive what has happened, their touch is the only thing tethering me to reality.

Please don’t let go guys…

And they never did.

______

BUAHAHAHA! Evil author is evil! XD Sorry guys! I promise if you wait for a bit you will be fully satisfied. Also, I'm doing a double update so this story will be finished today. THis is the first chapter in the update so the next chapter will have crazy things happening...

The ending.

Shameless advertising.

Confusing hints.

And...the surprise. >:)

Anywho, I hope you all like this story and that you've enjoyed every minute of it. Thank you so much for following and supporting me through this process and I'm sorry I've left you hanging so many times.

You guys really are the greatest!

I'm sorry about the wait, work is still crazy and will be for awhile... =(

Also I'm probably moving in a couple weeks and I won't have internet so...yeeeeaaahhh...I may be afk. >.<

Anywho, enjoy!

I'll see you all in the last chapter. T_T