Jaejoong’s curled up in a ball, shuddering with every crash he hears. Yoochun spoke as though whatever Blood Magic he’s spread around the room would protect him, but it sure doesn’t feel like it, what with sounds echoing over his head every twenty seconds. Even if Yoochun’s magic blocks the vampires from detecting him through their sense of smell or sensing of temperature or whatnot, there is a very high chance it’ll do absolutely nothing if they crash right through the ceiling.

From the bed, he can still see Junsu’s bruises, slightly lighter now with time, but no less ugly. Every now and then, Junsu shifted slightly, wrists rubbing against the straps, as if even in sleep he still fought his bonds. There’s something about it that touches Jaejoong’s heart, and causes it to clench at the same time. Because indirectly or otherwise, he’s the reason Junsu is tied up in that chair, unconscious, while Yoochun is out risking his life. And Junsu is sweet, too sweet to deserve any of this. In between what objectively is way too much kissing but in Jaejoong’s eyes nowhere near enough considering they literally have centuries to make up for, Yunho’s told him bits and pieces of Junsu’s life, not much, but sufficient to construct a vague timeline.

He was surprised to hear Junsu isn’t that far from him in age—physically, Junsu isn’t much different, but there’s something about the way he laughs so freely, his fascination with every living animal he sees in the water and his frantic yelling at Yoochun to come and look, that makes Jaejoong see him as much younger, even though in reality he’s older (in his life only, Yunho affectionately remind him, because taking into all his past lifetimes Jaejoong’s got a couple hundred years on Junsu). Junsu’s even succeeded in making Jaejoong…not like Yoochun per se, but more able to see his soft side, although he’s still not going anywhere near Yoochun if he can help it.

It’s understandable, Jaejoong thought when Yunho told him that. Junsu’s been effectively held prisoner since he was fifteen, when Changmin saw Yoochun in the subway, staring across the platform at the angelically singing orphan with eyes that could be described as nothing less than tenderness. And when the train came, cutting off Yoochun’s line of sight for just a single minute, Changmin had reached out his hand to that orphan boy, and did not let go again.

Not until Yunho gave up his location to Yoochun.

And perhaps, Jaejoong reflected than, Yoochun did not love Junsu as long as Yunho did Yunho, or wait as long as Yunho did. But that doesn’t mean Yoochun loves Junsu any less, or vice versa.

And Jaejoong, in the end, is an intrusion on their lives, so precious and inexpressibly dear to each other.

If it had been the other way around, and Junsu and Yoochun were the ones Changmin was pursuing, how differently would this have turned out?

And if Yunho had died because of it, how would Jaejoong react?

Even before the thought is fully formed the answer is clear.

His head jerks up as the room suddenly starts shaking as if in an earthquake. The runes around the room that had disappeared before have returned.

The seal!

Jaejoong shoots a worried glance at Junsu; despite the ruckus going on he’s still unconscious. So the seal’s not breaking…if nothing else, Jaejoong trusts Yoochun to hold nothing back in protecting Junsu. Nevertheless, the seal seems under a great strain from some external force, the runes glowing with light so intense they seem to be almost screaming at Jaejoong.

Your fault, your fault, they seem to say. And Jaejoong covers his ears and closes his eyes and curls up into a ball, but the words bore into his head, repeating themselves and taunting him until there is nothing else in his world, not even Yunho. He tries to fight it, tell himself that it’s false, that he did nothing wrong, that Yunho doesn’t regret this and neither should he, that the one in the wrong is Changmin Changmin Changmin Jaejoong Jaejoong Jaejoong…

What if Yunho dies? What will become of him? What will Changmin do?

The room shudders one more time, and when Jaejoong looks up, the runs have started to dim. He leaps up—foolish, really, it’s not like he can do anything about it—and is almost forced back down by the sudden vision before his eyes.

He’s on the deck, looking through Yunho’s eyes. Changmin is before him, eyes dancing with as if someone had lit a fire in them. There is no fear in them, only a wild kind of fierceness and life that Jaejoong has never seen in them before. He opens his mouth to mutter something, and pain fills Jaejoong’s mind, filling it so completely that it spills over into every nook and cranny of his body. There’s a shout—Jaejoong realises it’s Yunho—and a glowing green orb hits Changmin directly in the chest and he staggers, but regains his footing despite the massive burn mark on his chest. From the periphery of his vision, he can see Yoochun fending off two vampires; he’s holding his own so far, but is clearly tiring. There are strange, seemingly random splotches of blood scattered around his person, and in Yunho’s frame of mind Jaejoong instantly understands that it’s the damage the seal has taken, taking out its effects on Yoochun. Jaejoong’s not sure how long he will last, and if Yunho keeps taking attacks like this he will not last long either.

“Just give him up,” Changmin says. “It’s that simple. I can tell the council Kangin did interfere with my property. I can cover up for you. You can run off with Yoochun and Junsu to wherever you please. Hell, I can accept you into my service again, although of course you won’t be in charge of Jaejoong. You can have everything you wanted. It’s really not that hard.”

“Not Jaeoong though.”

“Not Jaejoong,” Changmin confirms.

“Do you ever think he’ll really love you?”

“Irrelevant,” Changmin counters. “What matters to me is that he’s not yours. I don’t care what form it takes or how it’s done; if you don’t have him by the end of this, then I win.”

“Screw you,” Yunho spits out.

Changmin shakes his head. “Wrong answer.”

Either it was a weakness on the seal’s part or Yunho’s, but whichever it was the vision disappears immediately after, so quickly it’s like it never existed at all. But Jaejoong knows it did. And despite the access to Yunho’s head being brief, it’s enough for Jaejoong to know why there are so many vampires on the ship, and what their purpose is.

Who should he be angry at the most? Yunho, for feeding Taemin the wrong information? Yoochun, for being Yunho’s purpose in doing so? Or himself, for…he doesn’t know exactly what. Just…something.

And if so, what can he do to resolve it?

His gaze falls on the dagger Yoochun left on the table.

If he’s the common denominator in all this, then surely…surely if he’s gone…then all this will end right?

It has to. There can be no other way. Even with the seal, Yunho will know instantly. Jaejoong only hopes Yunho will understand too.

This is a gamble. But he’ll trade the guarantee of Yunho’s death with the uncertainty of his own any day. It’ll hurt, that’s for sure. But as he picks up the dagger with trembling fingers, it’s not that his tears are for.

Yunho will be alone again, and that’s the most painful of all. But unlike Yunho, whose status as a Blood Keeper is casts a fog over what will happen to him if he dies, Jaejoong’s afterlife is a little more certain. No matter how long it takes, no matter where it happens, he’ll be born again.

And when it happens, Yunho will find him. Jaejoong believes that.

And maybe in his next life, Jaejoong won’t be born a Blood Singer. Then, there won’t be any fear, the constant looking behind to see if an insane vampire is chasing after them. When he’s no longer a Blood Singer, Changmin will lose interest. Yunho and Jaejoong can have a relationship where they are able to solely devote themselves to each other, a world of perpetual bliss where nothing and no one will harm them. They can be together.

This is the last time Yunho will lose him.

It’s with that thought in mind that Jaejoong lifts the dagger up and drives it deep.

He can’t feel any pain; he’s so filled with a variety of emotions any physical sensation is lost on him. We were so close, he grieves, and now he’s sobbing, the tears dripping onto his hands melding with his blood.

And as his vision fades, Jaejoong hopes from the bottom of his heart that this is enough.