Waking up in the morning isn't refreshing, nor pleasant. Waking up for me is just getting done with that didn't need to be started or finished at all. It's one of those things that I can do, but I can choose not to do it as well. Looking over at my clock, I see a blurry 7:05am. The raging thoughts of "Should I show up?" and "Or should I go through another day being hit with Biology books?"  It's only been a week since I last showed up, and last time I found a needle in my lunch a long with my uniform being stolen from the gym locker room. Looking up at my uniform, that uniform mocked me most of the time, the scuff marks, the rips and tears that have been sewed together countless times, it keeps sending the message of how weak I am. Never standing up for myself, always shoved in a corner, not meant to be seen or talked to.

I still lay in bed, seeing that all of this continious thinking hasn't passed the time. 7:08am. I began to sit up in my bed, slowly getting out and getting my uniform on. Seeing that I still had time, I put on my uniform, I wasn't in any hurry. Everything I did was slow, slow, slow. Throwing my blazer on, I glanced at my clock once again, 7:12 am. Soon grabbing my bag, I headed for the door with thoughts crashing into each other as they did any other day, but today it was worse. Thinking about what was possibly going to happen to me, just putting it in the back of my head was painful, everything was. Worse case scenarios flooded in, soon I noticed I was shaking. My footsteps had a stammer in them, almost falling onto the pavement. Stepping out that door was the worse thing that I had done this week, I just couldn't figure out why. Why did I end up with walking out that door, what in the world made me do it? Even more thoughts came rushing in, my whole body was shaking. Looking up at the sky, it was a dark grey, the color of my thoughts, the color of signaling rain was coming. What was I doing?

"Hey you!" A voice yelled. My blood pressure skyrocketed, my heart was ready to fall out from pumping so hardly in my chest. Taking a small glance of who it was, I tried to walk faster, but my footsteps were still trembling, now resulting in falling on the cold concrete.

"Are you alright Yixing?" The voice asked. Then it clicked; I quickly looked up to see who it really was, knowing that the tone of voice was soft, almost caring like.

It was him; Kim Junmyeon. The one that recognizes me as an actual human, not some figure head that doesn't has a place on the playing board. The one that has always showed me a smile, put a hand on my shoulder saying, "Don't worry, I got your back, you know that." The one who made me feel somewhat important; the miracle worker.

What was his motive anyways? Did he see something in me that no one really payed attention to? Always volunteered to work with me on projects in class, never hesitating or disreguarding on what he did. Reassuring myself that he wasn't going to be hurtful or mean, he showed me a smile everytime we worked together, he had that smile that only he had. The smile was more friendly and sweet, not like everyone elses' sneer that was on their face. I never thought of it until now, like me, he was different, but in a good way. Junmyeon was never the mean-type, never pushed or shoved anyone, never picked on anyone, never did anything mean to begin with. He was an all-around gentleman, to the ladies, to me, anyone.

"Yixing?" He asked again, snapping out of my thoughts. I nodded as I grabbed his hand to get up. I wasn't shaking more, I felt more relaxed. I look over to Junmyeon as we start walking again, he has a soft smile on his face, like he always does. He was glad to see me go back to school, but nevertheless concerned about how it was in a week time-span. I assured Junmyeon that I made the decision to come back, only on my sole purpose. Explaingin to him how I still was a bit hesitant abot this all, he put his arm over my shoulders, still walking towards to school.

"I'm glad you're coming in for today." Junmyeon said to me, still having his arm rested over my shoulders. I only looked at him and nodded at the remark, but inside, I still felt little, I didn't get my hopes up or anything, I just acknowledged him. Nearing the front of the school, I quickly jerked over to the side door, which was labeled as my entrance. Only I entered in the backway, I never wanted to go in the front, only resulting in me getting tripped and shoved. The back entrance was also one of the doors opening up to the main office, one of the only places I felt somewhat safe. But everywhere else in this school made me sick, I always had this queezy feeling in my stomach whenever I entered in the gym locker room or the cafeteria. As we entered, the teachers were staring at me right in the eye, it wasn't a stern look, just a smile and a, "Good morning Yixing, we missed you last week". Then handing me a rather small stack of papers with all the work I missed. With a small fervent, "Thank you", we exited and went straight to my locker.

Seeing papers taped onto the front of my locker wasn't uncommon at its least, seeing things written in sloppy handwriting. I never really looked at them much, I already knew what they said. Junmyeon began ripping the papers off and throwing them in the nearest trash can. As I opened my locker, my lock was jammed, but then just fell to the ground when I tugged on it. Looking inside wasn't a surprise either, a few of my books were missing, but that was the little damage that was done. I grabbed my folder and a few books while shoving my bag in, I slammed the door afterwards.

"Don't bother taking any of those papers off, they'll just reappear you know." I said quietly. I heard Junmyeon sigh lightly after he knew what I had said. I looked at the clook in the hallway, almost first period. That's when Junmyeon and I are splt up, he goes to biology, while I go to gym. The worst class of the day always had to be first, but it would of been worse if it was at the end of the day. Better to get it done and over with before someone steals my uniform, again.

Walking down to the locker room, I almost got tripped down the stairs. Bursts of laughter erupted when I finally caught myself, then the shoving began. The teachers always told me "if you ignore them, they'll go away." But that doesn't work with me, it makes me feel even smaller than I already am. They just hound down on me until I'm nothing, really. Ignoring doesn't help, not with me, not with other people. It's just another weakness to have, you just seem helpless. Clearing my way to the locker room, a few people had already arrived. A few wave, a few start laughing and mocking me.

"So, Yixing decided to come to school, bad mistake." One said to me as I set my books down. Not saying much, I open my locker, surprisingly finding my gym clothes were still intact. I didn't like changing out in the open, even though we're all the same gender, I wasn't seen as my own gender, I scurried off to one of the bathroom stalls in the locker room. Quickly taking off and putting my clothes, I rushed back out, only seeing that nothing of mine was taken, yet. Cautiously, I stuffed my uniform in my locker, soon locking them in.

And this is when the humiliation really starts, that's when the laughter becomes louder, the shoving and pushing becomes more forcefuly, and my self-esteem becomes right back down to zero. Walking out of the locker room is the second mistake I made today, it was going to be the day when everything is back on track, where everyone goes back Yixing, the helpless little speck of the dust. Junmyeon wasn't there to back them off, or anything.

I was alone.