Day by day passed since the last encounter I had with Jessica. She keeps avoiding me, pretending not to look at me whenever I walked passed her. She treats me as I am the most disgusting mankind alive on this earth. I can't really protest about it though because as much as I feel sad and desperate, I still know my place. I acknowledge it is her absolute right to or not to treat me normally. However, it will be the biggest lie if I say I retaliate her behavior toward me. No, I cannot do that. The feeling of care engulfs my disappointment for her so yeah, in short. I keep walking on the same spot, seeing her getting further and further from my grasp and there's nothing I can do about it.

 

My love life is that I actually don't even want to share it to anyone, well except Tiffany of course. I don't hate Jessica. Heck, hate is a really serious world and there's no way I have ability to do that. She's like the first person who taught me about what love is, what love can do to me, how it feels to be in love, and how far the word of love could turn my world backward, flipped it so suddenly that I couldn't even have a second to see it coming. It happened so fast that I wasn't prepared to receive the harsh effect to my heart and my mind.

 

It is vice versa with Tiffany though. She taught me how we can love using both, our heart and our brain, how logic should control heart and such. She said it was important to avoid the severe damage in my heart. I also remember how she directed me not to fall into the same trap for more than twice because everytime I fall, the injury would be doubled and yes as usual, she's always right. Sometimes I wonder whether she's my guardian angel or not because as much as she is kind of insane and annoying, she will always guide me to the right path so I won't feel hurt or more hurt than I already am.

 

Days turned to weeks and finally it has reached a month. I never had any communication with Jessica anymore. I can't reach her number no matter how many times I've tried. I also can't send her message because never once it can deliver successfully. The messages remained pending no matter how many times I've tried to resend it. The only possibility why that can happen or the only thought I have regarding that is Jessica has blocked my number. Maybe she made my number entered her black list in her cell phone. It will be another lie if I say it doesn't matter, because it hurts. It hurts very much.

 

My status and position in Jessica's life has been degraded extremely. I was once her best friend, the closest person she had ever had aside from her family. She could read me based on gestures and eye contact only and so could I, scratch that, and so can I. But now, I'm nothing but here mere stalker who foolishly follow here everywhere she goes with fear to be detected. I've said that I could read her based on gestures and eye contact, right? But how can I do all those now when she practically doesn't want to do anything related to me so I fail in reading her gestures. And since she always tries not to meet eyes with me, I can't read her feelings so yeah I fail in that field too. Miserably and terribly.

 

That's why I decided to be a stalker. I know it sounds pathetic but at least by that, I can still be close with her even I still can't interact with her normally. It's been 2 weeks I've been doing this. I would stay on my seat until I saw her gone from her cubicle when recess time came. I would take the same elevator with her and it was hard not to notice her annoyed face everyday, whenever she forcedly has to be inside the same elevator with me. I could hardly bear seeing that face but in order to breathe the same air as her, I pretended I was oblivious with her gesture.

 

Everytime I followed her, the feeling of regret would follow me too. Why? Because I always caught her having romantic moments with that bastard. She would sit on the same table with Donghae with his hand which always crept up to hold Jessica's hand. My lips had several cuts by now because I always bit it whenever I witnessed that painful scene. Tiffany had scold me countless time, telling me to stop doing that, knowing it would only make me hurt and shattered apart but being stubborn and all made me stay and chose to continue doing this until...

 

Until one day, I saw the most breaking heart sight in my life. It was raining that day and like usual, I didn't hear my mother's advice to bring my rain coat because I was late to wake up that morning. I even skipped my breakfast to make it on time. So yeah, I was on my way inside the elevator, heading to the lobby. And on that day I got quite things given by Yoochun so I stayed kind of late. I was nearing the lobby when I saw a familiar figure's back, the figure I could recognize even with my eyes closed. Yes, it was no one but Jessica.

 

I would have run to her and greet her, to know that finally I could have a moment to see her in personal. I thought she was alone, waiting for the rain to stop just like me. But my thought was disrupted when I saw that there's someone else in front of her. She had her head tilting sideways with her arms looped around someone's neck. I didn't even have time to hide myself at that time. I didn't even care if she would spot me and got be busted because the fact she had her lips attached with that bastard's lips was enough to make me paralyzed and stoned.

 

I didn't know how long I've been there. Maybe because I was too amazed or probably because the kiss took too long. The time she had her lips off each other, I was still standing on the same point. Jessica turned her head to me and quickly diverted her gaze as soon as she placed it in my eyes. She then grabbed Donghae's hand, whispering some unheard words inside his ear and left me. Yes, just like last time, she left me but this time the pain I felt was doubled because she didn't leave alone. She left briskly with that guy, the guy who should had been replaced by me.

 

Tears falling as soon as I saw her walking away and entered his car, his fany car, totally different from my ordinary bike. I gripped my chest tightly, trying to lessen the pain I felt. The loud pounding kept bugging me that if only I could detache it for a moment, maybe I would have done that. That night I promised to myself that it would be the last time I made myself crying caused of her, that I would move on from the dark world calling falling in love with a certain person named Jessica Jung.

-----------------------

 

Bad news for Yoona is sick as I'm speaking so the concert has to be delayed. I feel bad for my idol but I feel worse for myself because it means that I can't meet Tiffany as soon as I've predicted. The feel of wanting to meet her in real life keeps bugging me but as I've predicted, she delayed our meeting, saying this and that which I couldn't debate. At the end of it, I forcedly had to say yes to her proposal and postpone our meeting.

 

My work at the office is smooth, the relationship between me and my boss is getting better for he treats me more like a best friend than a mere employee, my family too is happy and safe. Everything is good except my love life. Love is . It can only make me flutter for a moment and right after that, I have to face the never-ending doomsdays. The sight of her with her admirer, the knowledge that I will never be with her, not even as a friend, moreover to be more than that. Sigh. Why should I feel love again?

 

Coincidentally or maybe incidentally, well I don't really know, I kept meeting Sunny at office. It's like she already knew what time I usually go to lunch and what time will my work end each day. Her messages don't stop either. She would ask me what I was doing, where I was now, who's the girl on my profile picture, was she someone special for me, and the questions going on and on and on. It's hard not to feel fluttered and blushed with every words that she said to me.

 

You know how hard it would be to reject someone's help when you're currently at the lowest stage of your life, right? It's like she's another angel (aside from Tiffany who's my first angel) sent from above. She would accompany me to lunch like every single day, made sure that I wouldn't have to spend my recess time alone. She also has advanced, leveled up our relationship from reader - writer to something more, something indescribable, something that I can't even give a name on it.

 

Lately I've gained more information regarding that certain blonde girl who likes to flirt with me or in short, Sunny. She works as HR Specialist in HOUR Department. Yes, a quite high position in spite her not-so-young-but-still-too-young-for-that-position age. She's quite older than me. She's 29 years old this year so she's about 6 years older than me. She looks young though thanks' to her cute face and attitude. Oh my God, did I just say that she's cute?! Okay, ignore it.

 

In a few minutes, if I'm not mistaken with my premonition, she should be here any moment. And if you're asking where I am now with my blabbering and not so interesting thoughts, well I'm currently inside the elevator, heading downstairs. She usually stands right in front of the elevator when the clock strikes at 12 pm. I never had chance as to ask why though. Today, I'll make sure to ask it. The elevator keeps getting down as I'm speaking to no one.

 

And yeah, if you wondered why my minds could wander around now. Uhmm, I have returned to my full consciousness and stop following Jessica like a freak. Tiffany advised me to stop it also. She told me that it wouldn't be fair for Jessica because she had her own life and no matter how much the fact might hurt me, I had to accept it. So uhmm, I follow her advice and stop any kind of activity to stalk her.

 

I think as usual, that Tiffany is the rightest person alive. She's always right no matter what. I sometimes wonder, is her IQ higher than 200?? Err.. I know it's not possible. How silly of me. I kind of think that Jessica has freedom and full right not to be stalked nor followed by me. She has her own life and love which means, it will be better if I can find my own love life too. The problem is, who wants to be my lover?? I even thought for a second to register myself in some dating agency. Who knows they know the right person for me. Err.. Stupid, right? I know. Tiffany might blurt the same word too if she knew. Sigh. Tiffany again?

 

"Hi! You're on time as usual, babe!" Sunny greeted me as soon as the elevator's door slide open.

 

"Hi to you too, Unnie." I stepped out and smiled. And yes I've decided to call her unnie because obviously she's way older than me.

 

"I'm happy to see you! Shall we have lunch then?" She like a habit approached me and slipped one of her hand in between my waist and my right arm.

 

"S-sure. In our usual place?" I quickly regained my compose back and tried not to be tense with her arm around me. We really looked like a couple. Errr,, do deep in my heart I kind of hope to have a lover? Sigh.

 

"Nope. Just for today, I want to have lunch outside. Do you mind? I want to celebrate something and I want to do it with you." Sunny smiled sweetly at me. She dragged me to the lobby and I just followed her.

 

"Of course not. What do you want to celebrate anyway?" I walked on the same pace as her, trying to dissipate the nervousness of going with her somewhere outside the office.

 

"Uhmm.. Today my project will go live! I just finished it yesterday! It's quite a big relief to me. You don't know what I went through for weeks." Sunny pouted. She's cute for a 29 years old girl. Wait! Did I just call her cute again?! My brain needs an upgrade indeed.

 

"Oh. Yes, I remember. You told me about that on your messages. Had to do important meeting for days and it wouldn't end until 4.30 pm and such, right?" She let go of my hand for a moment to seek for her car keys.

 

"Yesza, babe. Thanks' for remembering and I'm sorry for not being able to chat with you for days. It's hectic. I didn't even enough time to sleep." Sunny let out a sigh and pressed the alarm button on her keys to unlock the car's door automatically.

 

"No wonder you look like a panda by now. A short panda it is." I unlocked the car door of her black city car and climbed on the passenger seat.

 

"Don't forget the cute word. I'm an irresistibly cute short panda." Sunny grinned and drove away, bringing me with her to God knows where.

-------------------

 

"How do you like the food and place?" We just finished eating our lunch and now having some coffees and snacks on the same restaurant.

 

"It's delicious despite the location of the restaurant which is so far away from the place we work. And I like the cozy feeling this restaurant provide. The place is tidy, clean, the dimmed light and the coolness. Whoaa, I can't ask for more from this, can I? And uhm.. Thanks' for the treat." I put down my fork and knife once the waiter delivered my most favorite dessert in the world. Yes, it's none but ice cream!!

 

"Do you like ice cream that much, darling? And you're not a restaurant critics, are you? Because you really sound like one." Sunny chuckled. And now another sweet name, huh? It seemed that baby isn't enough T.T

 

"Yep! I like it very very much! It's my favorite food after jelly!" I slurped and continued digging on my ice cream. She only has a mug of coffee in front of her.

 

"I have guessed it alright. Wait! You have a stain on your face!" Sunny reached out her right hand and wiped the stain from the area below my lips. It caught me off guard and I guessed she noticed my shocked expression.

 

"Hahaha.. What's wrong Tae-baby? You look surprised. Was I too blunt?" Sunny retrieved back her hand and laughed. I'm sure my redden cheeks are enough to make her realize how shy I am.

 

"Uhm? No-nothing. Thanks' for cleaning after my face." I answered her shyly, still with the redden cheeks obviously.

 

"Hahaha.. You're so cute, babe. Anyway, which one do you prefer? A girl or a boy?" She asked me straightforwardly.

 

"Uhm.. I thought you've heard the news already. So why are you still asking?" I lost my interest once she talked about the matter I wanted to avoid the most.

 

"I just want to hear it directly from your mouth. Well to make you more relax and comfortable about it, I'm a bi myself and I don't feel ashamed or anything." Sunny gave me a reassuring smile. And yeah as she said, it works. I feel slightly better now, to know that I'm not alone to face this problem.

 

"Really?" My expression lit up almost immediately and yes, she noticed that alright.

 

"Yeah! Why are you so excited to hear that? So now it's your turn to answer." Sunny nodded and leaned back, waiting for me to answer her.

 

"Well honestly I never thought with whom I'd be falling in love with. It's just a coincidence that my first love is a woman instead of a man." My expression automatically changed when I recalled about her, Jessica who somehow still engraved deeply inside my heart.

 

"Based on your look, I presume this woman unfortunately doesn't have the same feelings as yours. Am I right?" She smirked like she had the ability to read my situation easily.

 

I didn't like her smirk but somehow, to know she could read what's inside my mind made me kind of relieved. At least, I don't have to explain it to her from zero, right? Because if I have to, it means that I also have to remember Jessica and our moments everytime I spill her name and it's a big no no for me. My heart is healing currently and I won't stop that process just because of simple task such as revealing my story to Sunny.

 

"Yes, you are right. But if you don't mind, I really don't want to talk things related to her. It will only pain me, you know by saying her name and such. Sorry." I told her honestly. I saw her sipped her coffee and placed the mug back on the table.

 

"Of course I don't mind. We can always change the topic, babe. So I conclude that you are a bi too hum? Or are you an absolute definition of gay?" Sunny chuckled with her own words and I followed along. I can't lie that her smart attitude attracts me somehow. I always feel weak whenever I face smart people because I will end up melting and helpless. That's one of reasons I love Jessica and why I keep in touch with Tiffany. And now maybe Sunny too?

 

"Hahhaa.. Since I've only fallen in love once in my life, I guess you have right to call me gay instead of bi." I scooped the last ice cream on my bowl and my lips. I felt Sunny's eyes on me when I was my own lips. Errr.. It's kind of scary yet made me excited somehow. Argh Kim Taeyeon! Back earth, please!

 

"That's great then! I'm happy that you're a gay, babe." Sunny again reached out her hand to pat my head. She then lowered her hand and caressed my cheek and yes, it sent another goosebumps feeling to me.

 

"Eh? Why should you be happy about it?" I wiped my lips and chin with a napkin to prevent her from touching me again. It wasn't because I didn't want to but because as Tiffany said, I'm easily flattered and I don't want to be cocky. What if Sunny only treats me as friend, and that the gestures she showed were nothing but usual for her. Like a habit perhaps?

 

"It means that there's a possibility that you'll like me as more than a friend, right baby boo??" Sunny smiled oh so beautifully. And yes I admit, I felt like flying when I heard those words coming from .

 

"Wait! Before that, I need to ask you something." I halted the butterflies inside my heart from flying. I don't want to be given another false hope and having to experience heart ache for the second time. Once is more than enough for me.

 

"Shoot." Sunny gave me another sweet smile.

 

"Why do you keep calling me sweet names?" I asked and she only beamed a smile and nodded, giving me chance to continue my question.

 

"Err.. You do realize that you call me that right? Such as baby, darling, sweetheart, my dear." I dared myself and asked her directly. I needed to know her reason so I won't put too much hope on her.

 

"Yes. Why? You don't like it? I can stop if you want in spite that I love calling you those." Sunny pouted again, blowing some air into that her cheeks bulged out.

 

"No no. That's not what I meant. Err.. It just sounds uhm,, special I think?" I raised my two eyebrows, giving her curious looks.

 

"Well you are special for me, Taeyeon! You are my favorite writer and that's not the end of that. You are also an awesome person in real life. You're nice, humble, smart, genuine, and talented." Sunny stated boldly, made me blushed so hard. Aish! Why these cheeks can't compromise with me?? It's so embarrassing T.T

 

"Thanks' for the compliment. You yourself are a beautiful person, inside and out." I reluctantly complimented her. I'm sure my crimson red cheeks are obvious for her again. Sigh. I and my shy attitude doesn't really help me.

 

"Why am I sounding like I'm flirting with you by now? Hahaha.. I'm sorry if I make you afraid, unnie." I saw her giggling instead of frowning which made me wonder why.

 

"Well you can do that." She covered her laugh with the back of her hand.

 

"Pardon?" I asked again. I didn't catch what her meant by that.

 

"You can flirt with me. I just gave you permission to do that." She continued casually. She has relaxed expression while I'm sure that mine is far from that.

 

"E-eehh??" I gasped and my eyes popped opened. We've been known each other for how long again?  A week? Two weeks? But she is brave enough to permit me to.. Err court her?

 

"Hahaha.. You're so funny, baby. But it's okay if you don't want to. I'm prefectly fine with that. I mean, you just experienced a broken hearted feeling, right? I can understand if you're not ready to-"

 

"I accept!" I didn't even rethink when I exclaimed that words. What did I say again?

 

"Excuse me?" She stopped talking and asked for my confirmation.

 

I didn't know what to do actually. Deep inside I know I still have feelings for Jessica, random feelings for Tiffany and humm I don't know how I feel about Sunny but as far as I remember, Tiffany did say that there would be a woman who could divert my attention from Jessica. Based on my not so sharp intuition, the woman should be Sunny right? So in order to reduce the pain inside my heart, I should give my heart another chance, right? So it can resurrect and come back to life. Who knows Sunny is actually my soul mate and not Jessica? I won't know if I don't try, right? Right. Good thinking, Taeyeon. It's not everyday you can think as clear and as fast as now. Hahaha.. I feel smart.

 

"I mean, sure. I can be more than your writer if you want. Uhm, sigh. I'm not really good with words. Sorry." I exhaled in disappointment.

 

"No, you're not. Based on your writing which I loyally follow, I know you're good with words. So please continue it, baby." Sunny propped her chin over her palm and looked at me in the eyes, escalating my nervousness to max.

 

"Uhmm.. Okay let's try this then." She giggled when I inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to prepare myself with some sweet words for her.

 

"I'm sure you've known that I just experienced one of worst moments in my life which is having my love unrequited. By now my heart is healing and quite fragile but then again it will be unfair if I don't give it another chance to err.. Love or something like that. So will you take this wounded heart with you? Who knows you can amend it and make it whole again, right? Aish! I'm really bad at this. Sorry." I scratched my not so itchy neck to reduce my nervousness. My legs are trembling under the table and I wish Sunny won't notice it.

 

"Cute! And I even thought there's earthquake for a while. It turns out that it's your wobbly legs under the table. Hahaha.. You're really irresistible you know that." Sunny took my right hand and held it. I'm bad in reading signal. Does it mean she accept me? Or it's just that she feels bad so she decided to hold my hand to make me feel better somehow?

 

"Err.. Thank you? So?" I used my left hand to hold my thighs in hope my legs can stop shaking. Sigh, this is so embarassing!!!

 

"Let's go and pay the bill at cashier." Sunny got up from her seat and took me by the hand. She went to the cashier and pulled out one of her cards to pay it.

 

I'm still confused with this woman. She didn't actually response to my question. Does it mean that she just did like Jessica did to me? Another rejection I see. Well at least, she didn't leave me like Jessica. She's quite nice not to reject me directly on my face. Finished paying, she gestured me to follow her back to her car. I kept quiet, feeling sad and disappointed. It's not her fault though. It's just me who was being too bold and rush her to be more than she wants me to be for her. I should have hold back myself better. But I guess it's too late already.

 

"What's with the long sigh and sad face, baby?" Sunny asked me while fastening her seatbelt.

 

"Nothing." I lied and turned my head sideways to look at the scene from the window.

 

"You're such a big liar." I heard her talking to me. I kept my gaze outside the window when I suddenly felt a hand grabbed my by the chin and turned my head around. And once I realized, I already felt another lips attached to mine. It was only for some seconds and it was not more than a peck but still. It was my first kiss and Sunny just took it from me.

 

"Now, I guess it's enough to answer your question, right?" Sunny removed her lips from mine and started the engine while I'm still on my own imagination. She kissed me. She just kissed me on the lips. She took my lips ity away. I keep holding on to my not-so--anymore lips.

 

"Why? You don't like my kiss? Should I retry it? I assure you I'll do it better this time though." Sunny changed the gear and teased me.

 

"No. Your kiss is good enough. Hehehe.. Thanks'. And errr.." I fiddled my fingers with each other, contemplating whether I should ask this question or not.

 

"What's the matter, babe? Spill it." Sunny is awared of my restless gesture. She threw a quick glance at me and continued driving.

 

"Ehmm.. Can I,, can I call you sweet names too?" I hesitantly asked her.

 

"Hahaha.. Of course you can, baby. Why you look so nervous if that's the only question you had there? Don't tell me that this is your first experience? Because I won't believe that." She made a U turn and headed to unknown direction.

 

"Well-"

 

"It is? Oh my God! I can't believe it! I mean your writings seem so real, it's like you made it based on your own experiece! I guess you really are the best writer alive and it's an honor to have opportunity to meet you in real life. I'm sure most of your readers will be jealous if they knew I just kissed her favorite writer." She winked at me from the rearview. And omo! Her words and bluntness made me flattered and blushed in happiness.

 

"Yah! Don't laugh at me. I know that I'm lack of experience but it doesn't mean I can't be a bad partner/lover, right? And anyway, where are we heading to? I'm sure it's not the way to our office, baby." I feel so shy calling her that. But I dant lie that I feel giddy and humm,, excited? Knowing that now I have someone to be called baby, my baby. Love will grow itself, right? It only needs time as fertilizer. I smiled on my own thoughts.

 

"Secret. Surely we're not going back to office. And did you just call me your baby? Aww.. Now you're brave enough to do that? It sounds good though." Sunny teased me again.

 

"Oh? Where are we going then? But humm.. Just take me to wherever you want. I think I'll be okay as long as I'm with you, babe." I unconsciously cringed and curled my fingers hearing myself saying those eeywwhh words. I have faith Tiffany would smack me with endless slaps if I told her similar words to her. Tiffany again? Oh come on, Taeyeon! You're with Sunny now, not Tiffany.

 

"Cheesy, aren't you? Hahaha.. You're really good with words, Taeyeon. I'm flattered and I like it. And for your information, I like being pampered and spoiled." Sunny told me.

 

"I can do that for you! Humm.. I mean if you want me to." I silently slapped my own forehead for being too frontal. Sigh, you're so embarassing Kim Taeyeon.

 

"Please do that for me than." Sunny led her free hand and squeezed my hand a bit. I in reflex looked at her and her lips welcomed me as soon as I turned my head. She kissed me when the red light still on and we kept kissing until other vehicles started to honk and yell at us.

 

"That's a better kiss I think." My honest statement made her laugh.

 

"Thanks' for being honest then. Now be a good passenger and who knows you'll be rewarded with another kiss later." Sunny commented and I did as she asked me, wishing she would really give me reward for being a great passenger inside her car.

 

Well maybe I could start a new chapter within my love life. Only, this time the main actress would be different. There won't be Jessica anymore. Who knows Sunny will play the role as my lover better right? Yep! I'm sure she can replace Jessica not only physically but also mentally. I'll try to change the person inside my heart from Jessica to Sunny. It is probably too soon but you can't really control your feeling, can you? And I also can't lie that aside from love because obviously it hasn't grown, I feel comfortable and happy around Sunny.

 

However even now I already have plan to replace Jessica with Sunny, Tiffany will always hold a special place in my heart. A place which can never be occupied by anyone else but her. She has penetrated my life in a special way and I'm not planning to change that. Even we can never be lovers and be more than we are now, her current existence is enough for me. Me being there for her and she being there for me. Yep! That's enough. And now I can't wait to get home so I can share her the news about me and Sunny.

 

"What are you thinking, baby?" Sunny's call made me off from my wandering world.

 

"Uhmm.. Nothing. Just trying to be a good passenger so I can retrieve my reward later." I grinned.

 

"You will get your reward soon in private later." Sunny gave me a different smile this time.

 

"Eh?"

 

"Just wait and see. We'll get naughty and happy! Hahaha.." She smirked lewdly at me, which made my hair on my spine stood up stiffly. Hiii.. I just got my first kiss today. Don't say that I would get my first.... Aaaghh!! I won't even think about that.

 

"............" I gulped and tried to divert my wild imagination into something more religious like, Jesus has a nice brown beard, his hair is wavy and nice, the bible is thick, etc etc. I know I'm stupid but is there anything else I can do to make my not so innocent thoughts not to think ertedly? Sigh. I'm a hopeless writer, aren't I?

--------------------------

 

"That was fun and thanks' for the ride." The car pulled over in front of the office's lobby.

 

"I had fun too thanks' to you. Maybe we should do this more often." Sunny said and tried to fix my disarray hair.

 

"I'm not sure about that. My boss will surely fire me if I skip work often." I grinned seeing her hands went down to button the first 2 buttons of my shirt.

 

"Then I'll take you into my department and make you my personal assistant. How does that sound?" Sunny placed her last touch by organizing my fringe so it would look good on me.

 

"Tempting." I smiled widely.

 

"So I guess this is goodbye for today, eh?" Sunny told me sadly when I was unbuckling my seatbelt.

 

"Don't worry, we will still see each other tomorrow and the day after and the day after that and the words go on and on." I grabbed my purse which was located on the back seat.

 

"You really know how to make me feel better, don't you, baby?" Sunny chuckled.

 

"Yes I do." I nodded.

 

"Well, drive your bike safely. Avoid speeding and text me when you're home, okay?" Sunny took my hand and interwined it with hers.

 

"Will do, babe." I detached her hand and guided the same hand to her cheek.

 

"Can I have my reward now?" I shyly asked, diverting my gaze to anywhere else but her eyes.

 

"You don't have to ask, baby." She answered it and before I knew it, her lips already glued against mine.

 

She held my neck while her other hand led mine to place it around her waist. She tilted her head and deepened the kiss. I followed her lead at first until my brain told me to do otherwise. I bit her lower lips and she moaned a bit. I shocked at my bravery which could do that to Sunny. I slipped in my tongue into and played it with hers. I and roamed my tongue along the roof of . She held my neck tighter and pulled it closer. The kiss went on and on until the fact that our lungs needed oxygen forced us to separate.

 

"Wow, you're a great kisser and just today I took your first kiss but now, you're like one of the best kissers alive." Sunny teased me and I bit my lips in embarassment.

 

"Thank you. Well, I'll get going now. I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked her.

 

"Yep! See you tomorrow." She pecked me for the last time and I got off from her car. I waved at her until her car gone from my sight.

 

I smiled remembering today's event. I never thought I could recover this fast. Well, not with different woman apparently. I thought it would be forever Jessica's name which could emboss my heart but maybe my prediction about that was wrong. Well, just now I let my first kiss taken by a woman whom I had known not longer than err.. 2 weeks? Even that I've loved Jessica since forever and now I let my hymen lips ed by Sunny?! Wait, err.. Does lips have hymen? Okay you're so ert, Kim Taeyeon!

 

I jogged with full of bliss to the motorbike park area and unlocked my baggage to wear my leather jacket. I then wore my helmet rightly and started to ignite the engine. I let the muffler to burst for a moment before I turned the gas handle and drove away. I'd just as Sunny said, drive carefully. Hehehe.. I even still couldn't stop grinning no matter how windy this night could be and no matter that fact would make my teeth drie later.

 

"Good evening, Unnie! Or it's probably more proper to say goodnight." Jinwoon greeted me as soon as I pressed the bell button.

 

"Oh hi! It's been sometime since I could meet you at home." I greeted back.

 

"Yeah. Because obviously tomorrow is holiday yeeayy!! And why are you so late, Unnie? Where have you been? Even Mom and Dad have gone to sleep." His words made me took a quick glimpse at tha wall clock and yeah, he's right. It's 25 minutes to 11 pm now.

 

"I went out with my friend before and so yeah, I'm late. Why are you still up anyway?" I took my shoes and placed it on the shoes rack.

 

"I'm watching TV. The show is pretty good and I'm not sleepy yet. So?" He followed me to the kitchen.

 

"So?" I took an empty glass and opened the fridge to grab cold water and poured it inside the glass.

 

"Don't pretend to be innocent, Kim Taeyeon Unnie. We're both adult and there should be only one reason as of why you're late. So tell me, who is he?" He walked slowly and stood in front of me, grinning in a teasing manner.

 

"There's no he, Jinwoon-ah." I honestly answered him but of course he would take my sentence in the wrong way.

 

"Tsk! Liar!" He shook his head in disagreement.

 

"I'm not! It's up to you whether you want to believe it or not." I stucked out my tongue at him.

 

"Then where were you, unnie? The least you can do to your lovely brother who was willing to wait for his unnie to come home late is give me that information." Jinwoon insisted and he wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

 

"I went out with my friend. Same building, different department and it's a she. That's all I can tell you, okay brother? Now if you don't mind I need to have my sleep. Goodnight, bro." I patted his shoulder and tip toed a little to land a kiss on his cheek.

 

"You're not fun, unnie. I'll tell Daddy about this tomorrow morning." He frowned cutely and yes I understood what he meant by that.

 

"Aigooo.. Here, take this and buy new clothes or games, or anything. I'll kill you if Mom or Dad knows about this." I pulled out my wallet and took some money from it. I gave it to him and he grinned almost immediately.

 

"Thanks' unnie! I love you." He pinched my cheeks and ran back to the living room, maybe to continue watching the movie or something like that.

------------------------

 

I'm so tired today, not because of working of course but because of... Hehehe.. I'm too shy to even say it out loud. She's the newcomer of my heart and I'll try my best to keep her and make her happy. I've lost my chance with Jessica, well not exactly since she didn't actually give me a chance but yeah.. I've lost her so this time I hope I won't have to repeat the same bitter experience again.

 

Love will be too exaggerated to define what I'm feeling about Sunny so I think like will be enough to describe my feelings for her now. I feel comfortable, fun, happy, and loved whenever I'm with her. She understands me well in spite the short period of time of me knowing her and vice versa. What I kind of dislike about her is that the fact that she would be too busy sometime. Her work is crazy, insane that it makes her have no time at all. She would work from the sun haven't showed up until the moon almost replaced by the sun. Do you think that I'm exaggerating? Well I hope I am because unfortunately I'm not.

 

The positive side which made me dazed is her smart brain. Her knowledge is limitless! She knows the latest news about anything and everything, starting from the newest football player who just moved to Juventus club, the eruption of Merapi in November 2010, to the reason why Julius Caesar died caused of countless stabs on his body. Yes, she's that knowledgeable and full of information. Her hobbies in watching, sleeping, and singing also made me mazed. Her voice is good, too good in fact. Okay now I'm starting to be talkative, can't stop myself from talking about her.

 

I can't wait to tell the new love story of mine to her. Hehehe.. With full of regrets I have to announce that Tiffany still wins the 1st place in term of understanding Kim Taeyeon well. I sometimes don't even have to tell her the whole story and yet she already understands the core of my problem and what's weird is that she never takes time to give me useful suggestions in how to handle my obstacles in the most practical and smart ways. I don't know whether she's that smart or that her sixth sense is that sharp.

 

I let out a disappointment sigh when I know it's close to 12 am by now and Tiffany should have fallen asleep by now. It's been 3 days since the last time I could talk with her. She's so restless nowadays, rushing with her revision and tries to set her schedule with the hectic schedule of her advisor. I feel bad for her for being so busy and for me because her being busy means less time for me to chat with her. I can only hope that's she won't fall sick and always manage to grab her food on time. She told me she unwillingly had to skip lunch several times because she had to have her reports printed when it's lunch time and after that she had to consult to her advisor regarding her edited thesis before his advisor became unavailable again.

 

Should I try my luck and message her as usual? But I don’t want to disturb her should she turns out to be asleep already. Hmm, I’m contemplating about it while drying my newly rinsed hair. I can’t hold back the feeling of longing and wanting to share the news with her so I decided especially for tonight I will follow my egoist side and try to message her. I hang up the towel and brushed my hair before heading to my hot seat. I rested my-oh-so-y on the smooth surface of my single couch and started up my laptop. I tapped my fingers on the table while waiting until the desktop background popped out. My laptop luckily detected the Wi-Fi signal so I could connect much faster. I said my prayer while my laptop was on loading mode and subconsciously I pumped up my fist on the air when I saw her online. Yeaayy!!

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Tippaannii!!!”

 

Scarlethwang: “There’s no one named Tippaannii in here. Maybe you got the wrong chat room, Mam.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Yah!! You’re so meanie~~ And I haven’t even managed to talk about anything with you!! Okay okay.. Is this Tiffany Hwang then?”

 

Scarlethwang: “Yep! This is Tiffany Hwang typing. How can I help you?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Sigh… Can’t we just talk normally?”

 

Scarlethwang: “Who is this again?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Fany-ah~~ Fine. This is Kim Taeyeon typing. Now, can we talk?”

 

Scarlethwang: “Oh yes, Kim Taeyeon the author of Enraged Lust, right? I’m sorry but Tiffany Hwang is sleeping and doesn’t want to be disturbed by you.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Huwaaa~~~ You’re meanie!!!”

 

Scarlethwang: “Sigh. How many times should I tell you? This is Tiffany Hwang, not Meanie or Tippaannii.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “-_________-“

 

Scarlethwang: “Hahahaha.. Okay okay!! Hi Author!!”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Finally I can talk to you normally. You’re not sleeping? But I thought it’s late already.”

 

Scarlethwang: “How can I sleep when you messaged me when I was just about to log out and close my eyes? =.=”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Oh I’m sorry for interrupting you then. You may go back to sleep, Fany. We can talk some other time.”

 

Scarlethwang: “Stop pretending to be sincere when your brain is telling you otherwise, author. I’m not sleepy any longer anyway. So, what’s up? Is this about that new girl? Wait, what’s her name again? Uhmm.. Sunny?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Yes it’s Sunny.”

 

Scarlethwang: “I assume there’s huge progress with your relationship with her, right? What did she do this time?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “She kissed me today!! >.<”

 

Scarlethwang: “Errr.. So have you got her address I asked you the last time? If yes, can I have it?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Yah! What do you want to send her this time?! You’re so suspicious you know.”

 

Scarlethwang: “Aside from the funeral flowers, this time I want to add mouthwash, the menthol one it is. I’m afraid the germ inside your eeyywwhhh mouth has moved into hers so yeah, I’ll make sure I will send her at least a liter of menthol mouthwash for her. Tell her to use it 3 times a day and continually use that for at least a week so the germ will be dead. And to avoid more severe injury such as thrush, please don’t repeat the same mistake as kissing Kim Taeyeon again.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “YAAAHHH!! Okay I regret telling you this and yes you can sleep now. Goodnight Scarlethwang or Tiffany or whoever you are.”

 

Scarlethwang: “Kekekeke.. I was just kidding, author~~ This must be your first kiss, right? Since you are so excited and all.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Yeah whatever~~ And yes!! It was my first kiss!! Hehehe,, I’m so happy, Tiffany~~”

 

Scarlethwang: “Wait! How old are you again?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Errr.. 23 years old. Why?”

 

Scarlethwang: “Huahahaha!! Your lips must be shrunken for not ever being touched for the past 23 years old of your life! Oh my God, author!! This is hilarious!! And I can’t believe I love those stories of yours when in fact you never had that kind of experience at all!! Not even kissing author?? Until today?? Huwahahhaha!!!”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “When was your first kiss?”

 

Scarlethwang: “When I was much younger than yours of course. Hahahhaha!!”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “-______-“

 

Scarlethwang: “Okay okay, I’ll stop now~~ Hahahaha.. Oh My, I even am tearing up because of you. So, tell me~~ How did she suddenly kiss you? Are you sure she’s not in drunk state when she did that? LOL”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “I’ll ignore your teasing for now and skip to the question instead. I firstly asked her about the sweet names she keeps using to call me, like babe, sweetheart, and such. She thought I didn’t like it and I denied her accusations. I told her that names should only be used for special person and she practically told me that I was special for her.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “She then praised me, telling me that I’m humble, smart, and talented. I pay back her compliment by saying that she’s a beautiful person too, inside and out. I said that I was like flirting with her by giving her such compliment and she answered that I could do that. She just gave me permission to court her. I braced myself further by asking her whether I could call her like that too or not and again she said I could.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Finally I started calling her babe etc too since this day onwards. We went out for lunch together outside the company building and after that she invited me to an arcade. We played and had dinner together before she drove me back to the office. It was fun though ^^”

 

Scarlethwang: “Humm.. I don’t know about this author. Can we get serious now? I mean I won’t slip any joke or such while we’re talking about this matter.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Uhm.. Sure. Why you sound so serious though? It’s scaring me~~”

 

Scarlethwang: “Don’t worry I’ll still entertain you with my awesome jokes once we’ve done talking about this.”

 

Scarlethwang: “Don’t you think it’s too fast to fall with another person, author? I mean are you sure that you’ve successfully vanished Jessica from you heart completely? That you can’t even find any pieces of her inside your heart?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Well honestly, I don’t know about that either, Fany-ah. Just like I’ve told you. I caught Jessica kissing Donghae in the lobby. She even looked at me after she finished kissing that jerk but up until now she didn’t mention anything to me. If she at least could still treat me as her best friend then, shouldn’t she spread the good news about her official relationship with me too??”

 

Scarlethwang: “And I thought I’ve also told you that you should stop stalking her, right? That’s the punishment you got caused of your careless and immature act. You should also stop hoping in anything and everything about her, author. I mean, I’m sure you’ve known it yourself that you’ve practically cut any relationship bond with her the day you confessed your feeling to her, right?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Yeah, I guess you are right about that. I have no right to demand her to still be my best friend in spite of the things I’ve done to her. I thought that at least I would still be able to see her even as a mere stalker, not company acquaintance nor best friend but yeah, you’re right again. I deserved that painful sight.”

 

Scarlethwang: “How much money do you have in your bank account now?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “What’s with the random question? Well, I think it’s enough to buy myself a new Ducati bike or cute city car. Why?”

 

Scarlethwang: “Because I’m sure you’ve spent quite a lot amount of money to upgrade your brain and practically increase your IQ grade, author!! You’re 2 percent smarter than the last time I chatted with you!! Hehehe..”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “And I thought you wanted to talk seriously -.-“

 

Scarlethwang: “Kekeke.. Sorry, author. You’re just too tempting to be bullied. Okay, back to the story. So you thought that you could move on by having quite intimate relationship with this Sunny girl?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “I don’t really know, but it never wrongs to try, right? Who knows I can end up falling in love with her.”

 

Scarlethwang: “You’re right at one point but unfortunately, you forget another point which is also the most important one.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “And that would be?”

 

Scarlethwang: “This isn’t only the story about you, author. It includes another person too to complete your love story and in this matter you presume the girl or the one would be Sunny, right? But what if.. Remember, I only say what if which means it can or it can’t happen in the future. What if you end up having another unrequited love again, huh? But only this time with a different person.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Should I remind you again that she kissed me today? We even kissed passionately, Fany-ah. I’m sure she wouldn’t do that if she didn’t have feelings for me. It would be too far if I said it was love so maybe it’s still halted at like. At the very least, she found me attracted to her, right? Either physically or maybe because I’m her favorite author or my personality is good for her.”

 

Scarlethwang: “That’s what I’m afraid of, author. What if she just felt curious of you? You know since you’re her favorite author and all. Once she knew you inside out, she would be boring and left you coldly. It’s possible, isn’t it?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “I don’t think so, Fany-ah. She couldn’t be that bad, right? I mean so far, she’s always the one who messaged me and approached me first. She would stand in front of the elevator waiting for me and she would be in the lobby to greet me goodbye and such. So there’s no way she’s an evil woman, right?”

 

Scarlethwang: “I don’t know. I really have a bad feelings about this, author. I just don’t want something bad happened to you. Are you sure she can like/love you? Are you sure she’s a good woman you’ve just told me about?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “I’m sure she’s a nice and caring woman not to mention smart and tough woman also. But about those questions… Humm,, I don’t have answers to that, at least not now. Am I not that attractive until she will never be able to like me?”

 

Scarlethwang: “If you ask me then I will undoubtedly say yes!! You are short with slow processor and huge nostrils which are as big as your hole down below. You also have too stretched lips which make Joker feel incontestably. You don’t have any experience in love field too. So yes, you are that uninterested for me.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “YAAAHH!! I’ll tell you to my Mom and Dad that you just mocked their creation. My physic is inherited from their mixed genes you know >.<”

 

Scarlethwang: “Awww~~ Momma’s big baby, aren’t you?? Hahaha.. But I don’t think you should ask them about that, like really.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “And why is that?”

 

Scarlethwang: “Because I don’t think you can handle the shock you’ll receive when they tell you that they found you being helpless inside the rubbish bin with unread letters attached on your basket. Hahahha~~”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Did you just tell me that I am not their biological daughter and that she found me randomly mixed with other trash inside the bin?! YAAAHH!!!”

 

Scarlethwang: “Huahahahaha!!!! *Tossing and turning on the floor caused of laughing too hard”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “YAAAHH!! I’ll block you from my account right this moment!!”

 

Scarlethwang: “WAAIITT!! I’m so sorry, author. I’m bad in handling myself, especially when it related with you, the person who’s easiest to be bullied the most.. I promise we’ll talk seriously now~~”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Prove it then!!”

 

Scarlethwang: “Let’s continue being serious then.. Stop joking for a moment will you, author?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “And who started the joke again? =.=”

 

Scarlethwang: “Right. What I meant is that, should your prediction and opinion about her turns out to be wrong, what will you do then? If she’s not as kind as you’ve described and she doesn’t like you the way you want her to be, what action will you do? Can your heart handle heartbreak? Will your heart strong enough to withstand it?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Shouldn’t you support me instead of giving me bad thoughts which could make me traumatized with thing called love?”

 

Scarlethwang: “I just want to give you brief display should the worst possibility happen, author. I care about you so much and I’m sure you know about that also.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “I know, Fany-ah. But I at least expect you to encourage me instead of discourage me like now~ Don’t you think what bad impact you may bring to her if your discouragement words affect me somehow? That I will be unable to give her my feelings as much as she may give me in the near future.”

 

Scarlethwang: “I don’t care what will be happen about her. I don’t even care if she gives you much more than you can ever give her. I only care about you, author. I don’t like the fact that she mess up with your heart and feelings. You know what I mean, right?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “No, I don’t! You really are ridiculous, Tiffany! She didn’t mess up with my heart, she doesn’t and I’m sure she will never do those unsavory things you mentioned earlier!”

 

Scarlethwang: “Listen to me first, author. I’m just worried that you will experience another horrible thing again in love field. Trust me! I will never advise you to do something that will harm you later. I really have bad feelings about this Sunny girl and I don’t like that feeling.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Then stop using your sixth sense or whatever you may name it! Can’t you at least give me advice not based on your feelings and premonition, Fany?! Because I hate it!! I hate the fact you defy God and tell me or give me clues about things that I shouldn’t know at all!! Not until at least the time for it to happen for real come! And how come I know whether your suggestion will lead me to the bright path or vice versa, desert me and make my destiny worse than it should ever be, huh?!”

 

Scarlethwang: “I can’t believe you just judged me that suggestion would mislead you! That’s it, author! Do what you want from now on!! And don’t ever, I mean don’t ever think to crawl back to me if what I’ve said proved to be true later!!”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Ooh, don’t be too arrogant, Tiffany Hwang!! Because I will never do that! I will even erase your number to assure you that I can never contact you again no matter what may happen to me in the future!!”

 

Scarlethwang: “Good! Because I won’t be there for you any longer! I really am disappointed in you, author! Goodbye! And I hope I will never have to see you again!!”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “I’ll grant your request immediately!! Besides, didn’t you say that you don’t want to meet me? Then you should be happy because I will never ask you to meet up again! Starting from now on, we are nothing but writer and reader! You got that? Good! Because I don’t want to read your reply after this! Bye!!”

 

I hurriedly logged out once I typed those harsh words to her. I pressed the power button on my laptop, didn’t bother to shut it down properly due to my uncontrollable anger toward this girl! I can’t believe I just cut my bond with Tiffany Hwang, my most favorite reader. I got up from my seat and turned off all the lamps inside my bedroom. I feel annoyed and angry, but mostly dejected. It wasn’t my fault if I acted like that toward her, right? She’s so annoying and noisy, not to mention exaggeratingly ! I mean, it can be understood if I treated her like that, can’t it? Can’t she for once support me instead of continually discouraging me with bad premonition about me?!

 

Is my luck that bad? That bad that there will be no good fortune coming especially in love fields? I always believe God is fair to each and every innocent lamb of His and up until now my belief hasn’t changed a bit. But if it turns out that her prediction is true then maybe I should change my thought about my own God. I mean, once failure in love story is more than enough right? Because twice in a row would be too much for me.

 

Should I feel bad for Tiffany? Of course not! But I just ditched her from my life for a person name Sunny whom I haven’t known for that long. But then again, is Tiffany even a real person in life? Knowing that I never once had opportunity to meet her and the fact she kept saying no whenever I asked her to meet up. She always used the same reason which was if destiny wanted us to meet then we would meet but if not then I shouldn’t fight it and sincerely accepted my destiny not to meet her. That’s unbelievable, right?! Right. And she kept mentioning that I was her favorite author. How can I believe that when she didn’t even want to meet me?!

 

After some enforcement she could finally change her mind and set our meeting in SNSD concert but then again, the concert unluckily has to be postponed and it would also mean that I couldn’t meet her as soon as I’ve expected. Will I even meet her someday?? Agh!! The hell with that! It’s obvious I just said to her that I wouldn’t ask her to meet again and I will never back out on my own words! Never! I’ll prove her that Sunny isn’t that kind of girl, that she isn’t a player or whatever Tiffany has predicted about her. I will also attest that I can make Sunny fall for me. I’m not that ugly; heck some even say I’m beautiful. Just wait and see, Tiffany! I’ll demonstrate to you that not everything you said will come true!!

 

There are two possibilities regarding this matter; whether what Tiffany had told me about Sunny is right or that Tiffany just told me lies to make me avoid Sunny and forever be a loner. Humm,, now that I think again, is there any reason why Tiffany didn’t want me to be with Sunny? There’s no way Tiffany swings my way so yeah let’s eliminate that possibility. I can just hope my decision to practically separate Tiffany from my life isn’t a wrong one. Sunny-ah, are you a good girl? Or are you not a good girl?