To You,

I’ve been thinking about the beginning of this letter for a while now, words of “how” kept running on me. How should I start? Just thinking about writing you a letter makes me at loss for words. Words will be nothing when emotions and feeling starts to surface. I don’t know if what I will write will make sense, but just try sticking until the end or if it is too much, you can already tear it halfway.

I like you, more than a friend and more than a sister.

I don’t know when I have started liking you a little bit more than what it’s supposed to be. We spent a little more time with each other more than the others. We are simply inseparable like when magnets meet each other’s opposite end. We are like that.

You take good care of me like you are my personal caretaker and bodyguard at that. You held out your hand to me when I needed a pull as if your hand is stronger than the gravity pulling me back to the ground. You let me wrapped you in a tight hug when I needed one like how a koala clings on its tree. You pat my head to tell me everything’s going to be okay like how a mother is to her daughter. You will hold my hand tightly as if it was your way to say that you are beside me, that I am safe, that I’m not alone. You smile at me in a sweetest gentle way possible that even if I’m faced with a sunset on a beach or on top of a mountain on-looking a great scenery of nature, I would still prefer seeing your smile.

Whenever you look at me, it’s always so intense as if it was piercing right through my soul but at the same time it was gentle and I can’t help but to stare right back at you with the same amount of intensity. We will find ourselves lost in each other’s eyes as if it was the safest place there ever is.

Whenever it’s possible, we always want to be next to each other. If we are not, one of us will always do something to get close to the other because in that way, we feel truly happy whenever or wherever we are. Just by sitting next to each other, we felt pure joy and nothing but happiness. No other people, no other members, no fans, just the two of us lost in our own little world.

Maybe, those butterflies in my stomach when you’re near me that I have tried to ignore, those rainbows and unicorns that existed when you gave me tight backhugs or just a little squeeze on the shoulder is enough to make my heart flutters, maybe just maybe those little things are the signs that I have started to like you a little more than a sister.

At first I was denial, no I don’t like you. I’m not supposed to like my little sister. That’s not right. I’ve tried to kill, maybe let it die down as I initially thought of it as a little too much of admiration for you, I like you as a dongsaeng and I admire you for the things you do. As I see more and more of the days pass by, as I see more and more of you each and every day, the feelings gradually took me. It won against my will; I guess you can never underestimate emotions.

Slowly, the things we normally do don’t seem so normal anymore. Whenever you touch me, there’s this tingling sensation inside of me. When you hug me, my hear swells in so much happin