My Dongsaeng.

:YoonSic:

Im Yoona. You’re a newcomer at this high school. A freshman and you already became the talk of the school.

You are beautiful, stunning, innocent-looking and almost perfect. Your doe eyes are mesmerizing and your milky white skin glows. You’re smart and good at dancing. People love and adore you. You are simply the epitome of beauty.

At first I just look at you from afar. Simply admiring you and adoring every move you make. Every smile you flash and every laugh that elicits from you flutters my heart. I was simply attracted to you.

I’m currently a junior so it’s hard for me to see you most of the times because our break times are different. The only times I can see is in the morning but I have to go to school early so I still have time to roam around and pass by your classroom, and afternoon when classes are finally over. There are times when school has programs and I will have a chance to see you happily sitting with your bunch of friends.

I would never forget the day I got the chance to talk to you with the help of my bestfriend. I can never bring myself to talk to you on my own; I might just run away like a coward. You were approachable and that was one thing I liked about you. We just said a simple hi and hello and after a few chats we bid goodbye to each other because you have to go.

The next day, I thought you would already forget me but I was wrong, you smiled at me when we passed by each other and I squeal internally. And from that day, I never passed the opportunity to talk to you again. I made sure to make a conversation everyday even if it is short just to keep us acquainted. As time goes by, we got closer and closer and I became like an older sister for you.

After we got to know each other very well, I have learned many things about you and that includes you being much of a big eater and a choding. Those acquired informations about you just added to my admiration for you.

One year passed; I became a senior and you a sophomore. Our friendship got stronger in a span of one year. We spent times together, going out together with our group of friends. I’ve treated you like a younger sister. I took care of you and looked after you.

I helped you in so many ways I can. Remember when you are panicking about your project that is already due but haven’t finished it yet? I have stayed with you and ditched my history class. Who needs history anyway? You are more important. You are my dear dongsaeng and as a good unnie as I should be, I need to help my dear dongsaeng.

I’ve always made sure to be with you when you need me. Even if there are times when you don’t need me, I’m always and always there by your side, watching and guarding you. Sometimes I would think that you are getting irritated with me but you will assure me that you’re not and that you love me being by your side. And I like that fact that you like me being by your side and that you would always come to me when you need help. I would hate myself when you need help and I wasn’t there to give it to you.

When you got hurt, physically or emotionally, I’m hurt too. I don’t care if you can feel it or not, I don’t care if people think of me as overreacting over you. I’m sick worried for you. When you got wounded because of a Physical Education activity, I was informed by your friends and I immediately went to the clinic for you. I checked on you if you are fine and even asked for the nurse to personally clean your wounds. I hate that you got hurt but I want you to know that I’m here. Your unnie is here.

Slowly, as time goes on, you’re becoming prettier than ever and a lot of guys are going after you. I heard you are especially attentive to one of them. You got a liking on him. I want your attention too. I can’t help but feel jealous. Why am I even jealous? That’s when I knew that I feel different for you. I am deeply inlove with my dongsaeng.  I wanted to say I like you too, but do I really stand a chance?

News is heard that you started going out with that guy. Is he even good enough for you? I think I am better. I can take care of you better, I can love you better. Even if I curse at him, kill him numerous times, I can’t really do anything. It was like a million knife being stab in my chest, right there at my heart. Even if I’m screaming inside, you wouldn’t hear, no one would be able to hear. As a good unnie, I need to accept the reality. I have loved you silently so I have to deal with the pain that comes with it. You like each other, and I’m just an unnie for you. Nothing more nothing less. Plus, I’m not open about my ual preference. I’m having a ual identity problem; I like both guys and girls. I’m sure people will judge me if I told them that I like you. They would hate me, you will hate your unnie.

Senior year is one hell of a busy year. A lot of things needed to be done and a lot of time is demanded. Graduation is getting nearer and nearer that’s why. I barely see you due to my busy schedule. You’re also busy with schoolwork and your new boyfriend. Is he being good to you? Because I swear I’m ready to hit him with a baseball bat if he’s not. We rarely meet. I want to spend time with you before I graduate but I can’t. I miss my dear dongsaeng, I wonder if you miss your unnie too.

Due to having so much work to do, I get stressed a lot. I have a little patience than before due to stress. You were always the kind to joke around and I love you for that. That’s one thing I like about you. You are always happy and lively. There’s always a bad timing for everyone right? And you’re unlucky you got one of those bad timing. You hit a joke on me but it was not so funny for me. I got irritated and yelled at you. You got startled by the sudden loud voice or maybe because it was the first time I rai