“It’s crazy and you probably -”

“Shut up!” I mutter urgently.

The moment Woohyun hyung step into my room, he starts talking but I can see Sunggyu hyung standing in the hallways with his arms crossed and eyebrows knitted together.

I glower at him and he looks behind him. When he sees Sunggyu hyung, he puts on his cheesiest smile.

“Sunggyu, I missed you,” he mumbles in the cheesiest voice he can muster.

Sunggyu hyung groan audibly. He doesn’t actually hide the fact that he dislikes Woohyun. But Woohyun’s not the type to care so he does what Sunggyu hyung hates the most – goes over to hug him.

Sidestepping to dodge Woohyun’s arms, Sunggyu hyung glares at me. It means I should take care with Woohyun; I smile reassuringly, hoping it will convince him. It’s either my smile or Woohyun trying to attack him again that sends Sunggyu hyung down the stairs. I sigh with relief.

“What’s up with him? He’s spying or something?” Woohyun asks me as he turns the chair by the bed and sits down, facing me. I throw off the blanket from my body and sit up. Sunggyu hyung will probably not drop in for another hour, until lunch, so I’m safe till then.

“Sort of. You’re not supposed to call, why did you call? That made him suspicious.”

I make a face and Woohyun pets my head, not too gently, his eyes glinting.

“I have news kiddo.”

“What news?” I ask, not showing too much interest.

It’s probably about him getting another love letter or a big gift from an admirer. He has a lot of those stories to tell, and they all suspiciously sound similar.

“But first tell me why Sunggyu hates me so much?”

“He’s older than you.”

Woohyun sticks out his tongue.

“As if I care.”

“Exactly, this is why he hates you.”

He retracts his tongue and stares at me blankly for some time.

“Oh.” He then leans in and whispers, as if plotting a conspiracy, “He’s suspicious you know. He thinks we’re dating or something.”

It catches me by surprise but as soon as I recover, I make retching noises and Woohyun moves away from me, looking thoroughly disgruntled.

“You,” I say, pointing at him with my index finger and stressing every syllable, “Are. My. Brother.”

“Whatever, I can bet he thinks that. And he thinks it’s my fault, that I’m corrupting you or something. As if I can do anything about how gorgeous I am.”

Woohyun looks satisfied as he leans against his chair. He’s so full of himself that he thinks the whole world is in love with him, except for the idiots of course. He’s always quick to point that out.

I roll my eyes but try not to let him see it, or else he will start arguing and it will end with him walking out on me.

“So what’s the news?”

“Right, the news.”

Woohyun smiles at me as he reaches for his pocket. He draws out a white envelope and, as if he was bestowing on me the honor of knighthood, and puts it on my lap.

I stare at it for a minute before taking it up to study the address scrawled messily on the front. It’s Woohyun hyung’s address, so I look at him in askance.

“Open it,” he says happily. I don’t ask him why I’m opening his mail. It’s probably another confession letter from a star struck boy or girl and he’s going to sit for the next few hours in my room and gloat in my face.

I sigh as I slide the paper out of the envelope.

Then I freeze.

The first two words are enough for my blood to run cold and my heart hammer. I look up at Woohyun hyung, asking for reassurance. What I actually want to ask is if it’s real, like really real and not a dream. Or not another one of Woohyun hyung’s tricks.

He keeps on smiling but it’s not his usual playful smile – for once it’s sincere, and slightly confused.

“Honestly, I was shocked too. But I guess you’re lucky. Maybe people who are dying get one last wish or something…” Woohyun shrugs and stops talking, gesturing to read the letter in my hand. I can tell he is curious too about the whole thing. The cynic in him can’t accept it, or disregard it completely.

As for me, I don’t remember a time when I had been happier. I have never been so relieved or satisfied or elated – this moment is the most perfect moment in my life up till now. I think I can now die happily, but first I would want to actually read the entire letter.

Dear Sungjong,

That’s enough for me to know who’s written this to me. And sent it to Woohyun hyung’s address. My silent prayers have finally been answered.

Wings start to grow on the butterflies in my stomach, causing them to flutter around. I sigh. Even to me, it sounds like a beautiful sound, so fresh, so happy.

I’m sorry I didn’t reply to you earlier. Honestly I just got your letter. Forgive me?

I’m sorry that life has been so bad to you. But that’s life you know, it’s impossible to predict which turn it’ll take. All we can do is hold on tight.

Don’t worry Sungjong, I’m back.

I’m back and I love you.

Yours forever,

L

I don’t know for how long I’ve been quiet after finishing the letter. But it probably was a long long time, because by the time I turned my head to thank Woohyun hyung, he said he had to leave.

“So soon?” I ask.

“Did you see the time? Sunggyu will probably kill me if he comes up and still sees me here. Besides I figured I should let you daydream.”

Woohyun hyung gets up and fixes me with a piercing stare.

“Dreams do come true, eh?”

“Only for those who are dying,” I tease lightly. I’m too happy to not tease Woohyun hyung. In fact, everything looks funny around me – the way the curtain is hanging, the chair’s position against the wall – I simply can’t stop smiling. It’s like the very air around me is revolting against me, making me smile.

“Haha,” Woohyun hyung says, his face dark. He probably believed what I said about dreams coming true when you’re dying. “You won’t be so happy when you die will you?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I go stiff. Sunggyu hyung’s voice shatters the air in my room as he strides up to Woohyun hyung, who cowers in front of him.

“I was just kidding -”

“Get out! Right now!”

Sunggyu hyung gets really serious if someone says ‘die’ around me. Or anything related to dying or my disease. He becomes scary – even the doctors are not allowed to talk about it in front of me. Which is sort of pointless because I know everything and I’ve accepted it all.

At the moment though, I’m worried about Woohyung hyung. He won’t be able to visit me for the next few days, maybe not even throughout the week. And I couldn’t give him my letter. This is bad because I finally found L and I’m about to lose him. If I don’t reply to him, what’s the possibility that he’ll ever write back to me?

So I do the one thing that I haven’t done since…who knows how long. I don’t even remember the last time I did this, but I swallow my pride and do it anyway, because it’s important to get my letter to L.

I cry.

Simply put, I cry.

Not silent tears, I wail, as embarrassing as that sounds, as big fat teardrops roll down my cheeks.

And that breaks down Sunggyu hyung enough to apologise and let us alone.

Mission accomplished, although I feel bad for tricking my hyung.

“Wow, you’re good.”

Yes, Woohyun sees through my deceits. Most of the time. He’s clever, that one.

“Take the letter already and leave. And promise me you’ll take it to the postbox tomorrow.”

Woohyun takes the envelope form my hand.

“I’ll do it today, since you’re so eager and I’m so generous. But whatever, I don’t think he’ll get it before tomorrow. Unless he lives inside the postbox. Or the letter flies to him…or something.”

He starts toward the door when I realize haven’t apologized to him for putting him in a tight spot with Sunggyu hyung.

“I’m sorry hyung for what happened.”

“Hey kid, I’m not afraid of Sunggyu okay? You just sit tight and don’t die yet.” He mouths the word ‘die’ and I can’t help but laugh.

I’m in a weird mood, even dying makes me laugh.

I guess if I die tonight, I will be laughing.